Silent Screams
by Hopelessly Pessimistic
Summary: Every time she fell asleep she could see it. Horrors calling her name, darkness she could never imagine. Never allowing her a decent night sleep. Never allowing her to forget. She wanted to tell Harry. She wanted to tell Ron. But she wouldn’t, she never d
1. Prologue

_**Silent Screams**_

_**Prologue**_

"_Lost in the darkness  
Hoping for a sign  
Instead there's only silence  
Can't you hear my screams?"_

**-Somewhere by Within Temptation**

Every time she fell asleep she could see it. Horrors calling her name, darkness she could never imagine. Never allowing her a decent night sleep and never allowing her to forget them when she was awake. She wanted to tell Harry. She wanted to tell Ron or Ginny. She wanted to cry on someone's shoulder and have them tell her that it was going to be okay. She wanted someone to hold her and tell her _everything_ was going to be okay. But she couldn't bring herself to do that. Not after what happened at the end of term, not after everything that was happening now.

She couldn't do that to Harry. He had been so devastated after Sirius had died. He had blamed himself and no matter what anyone said he still did. She couldn't tell him while he was dealing with that. She couldn't tell him when he was still trying to comprehend what Dumbledore had told him meant. He had his own burdens she couldn't push her own onto him.

And she couldn't bring herself to tell Ron. Ron was sweet but he had his own nightmares to deal with. It had been fortunate in a way that Dolohov had hit her with that curse. She had almost died but most of the memories were gone. Madame Pomfrey didn't know for sure why but she barely remembered what happened at the Department of Mysteries that day but the few things she did remember still haunted her. Ron unfortunately didn't have the luxury of forgetting. Neither did Ginny, Luna, Neville, or Harry.

Ron had told her that he envied her. He had confided in her about his own nightmares, about his own fears because she was the strong one. Ginny had done the same, telling her how scared she had been and that she wished that she had been more composed, that she could be more like her under pressure. Because she was always the one who knew what to do in crisis. She was always the one with the answers and was always there when someone else needed a shoulder to lean on. She was always there when some else needed help. She was always there even if the person just wanted to sit in silence. That's who she was. That's who she made sure she was. But in being that person, she found that she didn't have a person to go to.

So she would stay silent and hope the nightmares went away. She would stay silent and smile when someone asked her what's wrong. She would stay silent as the tears fell. She would stay silent when she wanted nothing more then to scream. That was who she was and she wasn't going to change that.


	2. Chapter One: Unanswered Questions

**_Chapter One: Unanswered Questions_**

_The world seems not the same  
Though I know nothing has changed  
It's all my state of mind  
I can't leave it all behind  
I have to stand up to be stronger  
_

**-Pale by Within Temptation**

"Will you two stop pacing?" George asked. Harry and Ron had been continuously pacing the kitchen since the adults had left the room, each going in the opposite directions on either side of the room.

"And it's hard to hear what they're saying, even with the extendable ears, with the two of you doing that." Fred said trying to move closer to the door.

"What are they saying?" Harry asked setting down next to George.

"Something about a bunch of owls being spotted" He told him, "And that they need to take action."

"Professor McGonagall said that _she_ isn't safe there anymore and that next time they shouldn't be so obvious in there choice of hiding places." Fred continued, "Wonder who there talking about..."

"We heard Remus say something about Hermione before they went in." Ginny said from her place by the fire.

"So that's why the two of you were pacing." Fred said understanding.

"Well in that case go back to it." George said, "We might even join you."

"Is what they're saying really that bad?" Ron asked his pacing coming to a sudden halt.

"Yes and no." Fred said, "They seem to think she's in danger but she's obviously still alive. That's a good thing right?"

"I think your attempt at humor crashed and burned there." George said when no one responded, "But you have a point. They're worried, that's rather obvious, but if she was in immediate danger they would be leaving to go get her."

"Yeah I guess so." Harry mumbled still worried. Why would Hermione have to go into hiding? Had the wizarding world gotten so bad that they didn't think it was safe for any of the muggleborns to go home, or was it just Hermione that was in such grave danger? And why hadn't anyone mentioned anything to him about it? Why hadn't _she_ mentioned it to him? She has sent him several letters over the summer so far and she had never mentioned anything about this. Hermione had never mentioned that she wasn't going home over the summer. In fact she had specifically said that she was looking forward to sleeping in her bedroom where she wouldn't be woken up by Lavender and Parvarti's giggles at all hours of the night. Did she lie to him or did she not know herself?

His thoughts were broken as Mr. and Mrs. Weasley came through the door followed by Remus, Professor McGonagall and Snape.

"What's going on? What's happened to Hermione?" Ron asked not caring that he was letting on that they had overheard them talking.

"Nothing,_ yet._" Remus said with a sigh. It was obvious that they knew at least some of what was going on and they all knew that they couldn't keep this from them for long. At least now he wouldn't have to explain everything. "But we do think something might." He continued.

"Why?" Harry asked.

"There were several owls spotted in her area and we think that she might be being watched." Mr. Weasley explained, "It is just a precaution but we think we should bring her back here."

"If she was in such danger then why wasn't she here in the first place?" Harry asked angrily.

"There isn't time for this." Snape said sneering, "We need to leave now."

"What was that you were saying George?" Harry snapped at him.

"Your right Severus" Professor McGonagall said ignoring Harry, "Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, you will be going with Remus and Severus to get Miss Granger."

"Why?" Ron asked earning a smack in the back of the head from Harry.

"Don't question it" he hissed, "They might change there minds."

"We thought she'd prefer it if she had friends there." Professor McGonagall said.

"We will be able to explain more after we get back." Remus said, "But Severus is right we need to leave."

"Hurry up." Remus said extending his arm, "Harry hold on to my arm and Ron hold on to Professor Snape's." Snape slowly raised his arm, a scowl on his face, and Ron unhappily took it. Harry felt bad that Ron got stuck apparating with Snape but he was glad that it wasn't him. He was pretty sure that Snape felt the same.

Harry and Remus disapparated first and in the blink of an eye he found himself in a dark bedroom. On the other side of the room was a bed with a little bit of brown curly hair poking out from underneath its covers. A minute later Snape and Ron were beside him, unlinking arms as fast as possible.

"One of you boys should wake her up." Remus said quietly, "It would probably frighten her less." Knowing the Hermione wasn't a morning person Harry pushed Ron towards the bed deciding that he didn't want to have to deal with her wrath.

"Fine" Ron grumbled setting on the edge of the bed, "I'll do it."

"Hermione," he said softly shaking her, "Hermione you need to wake up."

Ron's presence had little effect on her as she just mumbled something incoherent before rolling over. "Hermione its time to wake up now" Ronsaid, "You need to wake up, it's important."

"Hermione you need to wake up" he repeated getting frustrated. Leave it to Hermione to do what she wanted even when she was asleep. "Hermione, you sleep through the Potions test" he said changing tactics. "And Professor Snape is here and he's very angry with you."

"What? Whatdidyousay?" she mumbled setting up.

"That got her up." Harry said with a laugh.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked, "What are you doing here Ron? If Viktor and his father find you here-"

"_Viktor_?" Ron demanded, "As in Krum? You're staying here with Viktor Krum? I suppose your sleeping in his room too..."

"Well yes-" she began in a soft voice.

"This is his room?" Ron asked even angrier if that was possible.

"He's sleeping on the couch." She said, "But if you don't shut up then he's going to come in here and start hexing you all."

"Speaking of which, why are you here?" she asked standing up revealing her short black nightgown. Harry had never her seen her dressed in anything like that, and suddenly felt very uncomfortable about being in her room this late at night.

"We think you might be in danger." Remus explained quietly,"We're going to take you back with us." He could tell Hermione was scared from the look on her face. This was supposed to be a safe place for her. They specifically told her that and now it was if they were taking it back. She didn't like that feeling.

"Go wake up Viktor and tell him that you're leaving. We will collect your things for you." Remus told her with a smile.

"Okay." She said quietly. "My trunks are in the closet and I have some stuff in the bathroom and some books on the desk. They should have my name in them." She said before disappearing from the room.

---------------------------

"Viktor" Hermione whispered, "Viktor wake up.

"Vot is it?" he said quickly setting up, his eyes darting around the room, "Vot's going on Hermy-ownninny?"

"Don't worry everything's alright." She said with what she hoped was a reassuring smile, "But some people are here from the Order to take me back."

"Vot do you mean, take you back?" he asked.

"To take me back home Viktor." she said grabbing his hand. "They're in the bedroom, come on." She said leading him back into her room.

Harry and Ron noticed Hermione and Viktor holding hands as they came back into the room and Harry felt Ron tense up beside him. It was comforting to know that something's would never change, and it seemed like Hermione's relationship with Viktor, whatever it may be, would always bother Ron.

"Vot is going on?" Viktor asked quickly, "Vot has happened? Should we vake my father?"

"No, no. There's no need for that." Remus said.

"Then what's going on Remus?" Hermione asked, "Has something happened? Should someone warn my parents?"

"Are your parents here too?" Harry asked.

"No there still at the house." She answered distractedly.

"Then why aren't-" Ron asked.

"Mr. Weasley this is no time to be asking these types of questions." Snape snapped at him, "We need to leave."

"Viktor tell your parents thank you and that Dumbledore will meet with them soon." Remus said, "But don't tell them until the morning. There's no bother waking them up at this hour."

"We need to leave before anyone realizes we're here. Mr. Krum." Professor Snape said, "Make sure to stay with your normal schedule and try to hide the fact that Miss Granger is gone for as long as possible."

"Yes, sir." He said with a nod.

"Come along Hermione," Remus said, "Severus is right, we need to leave. We've already gathered your things."

"Vhere are you taking her?" Viktor asked.

"You know they can't tell you that." Hermione said squeezing his hand, "But I'll make sure that someone contacts you if anything happens."

"Ve careful Hermy-ownniny." He said kissing her on the cheek. Harry could see Ron's cheek redden with anger even in the dark.

"How are we getting back?" she asked stepping away from Viktor and closer to Harry and Ron. There was a part of her that just wanted to hug them and tell them how much she missed them but she knew that this wasn't the time and suppressed the urge.

"We're apparating to the Burrow" Remus said, "Harry and Ron will be going with me and you'll be going with Severus."

"Goodbye Viktor." She said taking Professor Snape's offered arm. She smiled at him weakly but he only returned a frown. She knew that he wasn't happy to see her go. They had had a nice time while they were there together. They had grown closer over the time they had spent together and she would be sad to see it over with. But it was nothing compared to what she had with Harry and Ron. She was finally going home. That was what she had wanted the whole time she was here. Wasn't it?

-----------------

"Hermione thank goodness your okay!" Mrs. Weasley said hurrying over to her and enveloping her in her hug. Hermione patted her on the back and did her best not to act uncomfortable as Mrs. Weasley squeezed her tightly.

"It's nice to see you again." Mr. Weasley said once Mrs. Weasley had released her.

"It definitely is a nice view." George said quietly. "What is that your wearing, Hermione?" he said louder.

"Oh, umm…it's a muggle nightgown." she said only just realizing what she was wearing.

"It must be nice to be a muggle sometimes." Fred said with a smile.

"That is quite enough" Mrs. Weasley said taking control of the situation. "Everyone is to go up to bed its late."

"But Mrs. Weasley—" Hermione began.

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions dear" she said with a sympathizing smile, "But I think we are all too tired to explain properly, right now. Now we have to make some different sleeping arrangements. Severus is of course going back to Hogwarts but Remus will be staying here, you're in the Bill's old room with Kingsley, and Harry you'll sleep in Ron's and of course Tonks is already in bed."

"Which presents a problem," Mr. Weasley said, "As she's in Ginny's room and that's where Hermione usually sleeps."

"I don't really care where I sleep." Hermione told them, "Anywhere's fine."

"She could sleep in are room" George suggested with false innocence.

"What, so you can take a closer look at her nightgown?" Ron asked crossly.

"Well that wouldn't be a bad thing." He mumbled under his breath.

"Why don't I sleep in the living room?" Hermione said confused about the conversation going on, "Really, I don't mind."

"That would probably create fewer problems…" Mr. Weasley said.

"I suppose." Mrs. Weasley said though it was clear she wasn't thrilled with the idea, "I'll go make up a bed for you."

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley left to make up the living-room while Snape said a quick goodbye, his eyes lingering on Hermione longer than anyone liked, and then apparated back to Hogwarts. Harry and Ron exchanged worried looks over all the attention Snape had been giving Hermione, even Remus seemed to have noticed, but everyone stayed silent. Sensing the tension in the room Hermione quickly excused herself, mumbling goodnight before following Mr. and Mrs. Weasley into the living room.

"There are extra blankets in the wardrobe upstairs." Mrs. Weasley said as she smoothed the blanket over the transfigured bed.

"Thank you Mrs. Weasley." She said, "I'm sure this will be fine."

"Well then goodnight dear." Mrs. Weasley said with a tight smile before heading upstairs.

"If you hear any strange noises, don't worry about it." Mr. Weasley told her, "It's probably just the garden gnomes; they've been especially loud lately. That or it's the twins…."

"Thanks Mr. Weasley" she said with a laugh, "I'll be sure to remember that."

Hermione settled back on the bed as Mr. Weasley turned out the lights. She pulled the covers over her, as she hoped for sleep to come. But she laid there for hours and sleep still didn't come but the thoughts about what was happening to her never seemed to end.

-------------------------------

Unable to take it any more, Hermione quietly made her way upstairs into Harry and Ron's bedroom. She lightly knocked on the door and listened for response but all she could hear was Ron snoring. She slowly opened the door and saw Harry looking for his glasses. "I thought I heard someone coming upstairs." he said with a small smile.

"I'm sorry were you asleep?" she asked, "I didn't mean to wake anyone up…I wasn't really thinking. I just couldn't sleep—"

"It's okay Hermione." He said, "I was already awake."

"Really?" she asked setting down on the edge of his bed, "You couldn't sleep either?"

"Not really." he said setting up, "They never really explained anything. I thought they had invited me back to the Burrow because they knew how much I don't like it at the Dursley's, but then they started talking about you and now I'm not so sure."

"Do you think we're in more danger then there letting on?" she whispered. He wasn't sure if it was because she was trying not to wake up Ron or if she was just scared.

"I don't know" Harry said, "But this wouldn't be the first time when we weren't told everything. Why didn't you tell us you were staying with Viktor and his family?"

"I didn't know I was going to." She said, "I went home for the first week and then Professor Dumbledore and Remus sent an owl asking if it was okay if they came to my house. Apparently Professor Snape had overheard some of the Deatheaters talking about a girl. Obviously they thought it was me, so they had me pack my bags and they took me to Viktor's house. I've been there since the second week of summer but a couple of days ago I started noticing Viktor and his father acting strangely. I asked him about it and he said it was nothing, but it still felt like something was wrong. And then everyone came and got me, now I _know_ something's wrong."

"I'm sure everything will be fine." Harry said trying his best to comfort her, "There are several members from the Order here; they'll make sure that nothing happens to anyone."

"Umm…do you think it would be alright if I spent the night in here?" Hermione asked looking around, "I just…I don't want to be alone right now."

"It's fine Hermione." He said pushing back his covers, "There's room enough for both of us." Hermione climbed into the bed next to him, her head and body a safe distance from his.

"Thank you Harry." She said quietly.

----------------------------------------

"Well, look what we have here." George said a large smile on his face.

"You do work fast Harry." Fred said, "Or maybe it's slow."

"You have known her for several years now." George said.

"What are you two going on about?" Harry mumbled reaching for his glasses only to find Hermione instead. Sometime during the night she had cuddled up next to him and her head was now on his chest. "Oh, forgot about her." He said finally finding her glasses.

"What do you mean you forgot about her?" Ron asked still in his own bed, "And why is she up here in the first place?"

"Umm…she said she couldn't sleep." He said slightly embarrassed.

"Well she's asleep now." Fred said, "What did you do? Tire her out?"

"Let's just wake her up before your parents notice her missing." Harry said a blush rising on his cheeks.

"A little late for that mate," George said, "They sent us up to see if she was in here."

"Maybe we should let her sleep if she had trouble sleeping." Ron said choosing to believe Harry.

"I don't think she would like that." Harry said shaking his head, "She wants to get some answers and she'll be mad at all of us if we let her sleep through that."

"Good point." Fred said, "We've seen her angry."

"And we wouldn't want that." George said.

"So who's going to be the lucky one to wake her up?" Fred asked.

"Not me." Ron said, "I did that last night."

"No need." Hermione said setting up, "All your yammering woke me up."

"What time is it?" she asked with a yawn. She was blushing at having been caught sleeping on Harry but she was trying her best not to show that she was embarrassed.

"Almost eight" Fred said, "Breakfast is just about ready."

"Good I could use some coffee." She said climbing out of bed.

"As much as this pains me to say, and trust me it does, you might want to change." George suggested, "Professor Dumbledore and Snape are going to be stopping by later and we really don't need a repeat of last night."

"He's got a point." Ron told her.

"Does anyone know where they put my trunks?" she asked not meeting anyone's eyes. It was clear she knew they were talking about Professor Snape.

"I think we can show you." George said wrapping his arm around her shoulder and leading her out of the room with Fred on his heels.

"I don't like the way they've been looking at her." Ron said as he began to get dressed.

"I'm sure they're just teasing her." Harry said sounding unconvinced himself, "That's what they do. You should know that."

"Teasing is one thing" Ron said, "Staring and openly flirting is another."

"Speaking of staring," he said pulling on his shirt, "I take it I wasn't the only one who noticed Snape."

"No you weren't." Harry said, "But maybe we mistook it for something it wasn't. Maybe it was a look of disgust or something."

"We both know what his look of disgust looks like," Ron said, "He's directed it towards us enough times, and that wasn't it."

"I guess…" Harry said, "I was just hoping that maybe we were wrong."

------------------------

After quickly finishing getting dressed, Harry and Ron hurried down to the kitchen. Hermione was already at the table, Fred and George on either side of her with Ginny across from her a large smile on her face, Tonks on her right and Kingsley further down the table talking with Mr. Weasley. Mrs. Weasley was at the stove, still fixing breakfast, but whenever she thought no one was looking Harry noticed her shooting angry looks at Hermione.

"Did you boys sleep well?" Remus asked coming in behind them. He, unlike the people at the table, apparently hadn't heard anything about Hermione being in there room.

"Okay I guess." Harry said setting down across from Hermione. George had apparently whispered something funny into her ear because she was giggling. Hermione didn't giggle. Especially at something George and Fred said.

"How about you Hermione?" Tonks asked with a knowing smile, "Did you sleep well?"

"I've slept better." She said shooting her a rather unkind look.

"Have I missed something?" Remus asked confusion written on his face.

"When Arthur and I came downstairs this morning Hermione wasn't in the living-room." Mrs. Weasley said putting a plate of food on the table roughly, "We searched the house and Fred and George found her in Harry and Ron's room. She said the living-room was fine but the minute we turn are backs she's sneaking upstairs to see Harry."

"Mrs. Weasley it wasn't like that." Harry said blushing.

"Well of course you'll defend her." She mumbled under her breathe.

"You shouldn't be mad at Harry, Mrs. Weasley." Hermione said her cheeks red, "I went up there on my own. I was just…and I couldn't sleep…and I just…just don't be angry with Harry, it wasn't his fault."

"I'm not angry with anyone." She said, though her tone said otherwise, "I was just worried when we didn't know where you were. None of you seem to realize the seriousness of this situation."

"Well you didn't exactly tell us anything did you?" Hermione said under her breathe.

"What was that Hermione?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"I said that you hadn't told us anything." She said her voice much stronger this time. "How are we supposed to know what's going on if no one tells us?"

Harry and Ron looked at Hermione in shock. This was the first time that she had ever talked back to Mrs. Weasley. She had disagreed with her before but she had always held her tongue, believing that Mrs. Weasley deserved respect. But Hermione wasn't relenting this time, she had appeared a little nervous at first but her eyes never left Mrs. Weasley's. She wasn't backing down on this one, she wasn't going to let her questions go unanswered, brushed off as if they weren't important.

"Hermione you know that we weren't supposed to tell you anything." Remus said told her softly.

"That hasn't stopped you before." She spat.

"We _all_ thought that it would be in your best interest if we told you as little as possible." Mrs. Weasley said shooting Remus a dirty look.

"My best interest, _my_ _best_ _interest_." She said with a humorless laugh, "I had to stay in that house, never knowing what could happen or what _was_ happening. And you know, Viktor and his family were great but they weren't _my _family. I would have liked to be here or with my parents. Remember them? The people that I only see a few months a year and this time it was even less. So you'll have to excuse me if my idea of what is best for me is very different from all of yours."

"Now if you'll excuse me," she said standing up, "I seem to have lost my appetite."

They all watched her go unsure of what to say. They all knew that she was right. Harry had been there before, never knowing what was going on, never knowing why it was going to happen, it was frustrating and he couldn't blame her for blowing up at them. He had done it himself; it was just usually it was directed towards her and Ron, not the adults.

"Should someone follow her?" Ginny asked breaking the silence.

"What's there to say?" Harry asked, "She's right."

"Harry…" Mr. Weasley said.

"Well she is." He said, "I've been there. It's hard to never know what's going on. It's even harder to know that those around you do know and are keeping it from you. You can't just expect her to take it lying down."

"He has a point." Remus said.

"Remus we all agreed that we shouldn't tell them until-"

"I know what we agreed to." He said, "But I'm going to go talk to her and tell her as much as I can."

------------------------

He found Hermione outside in the garden with her head in her hand. She hadn't meant to blow up at Mrs. Weasley or get angry with Remus but just so much had been bottled up over the past few months and it finally just exploded. Things didn't seem to be getting any easier and it seemed as if no one cared, no one realized that whatever was happening was effecting her too.

"Hermione." Remus said.

"I'm sorry." She said quickly, "I didn't mean to yell. I'm not angry with you, I'm not angry with any of you. It's…its just a lot."

"I know." He said setting down on the bench next to her, "And I'm sorry, maybe we should have told you more. But to be perfectly honest I don't know how much Ican actually tell you."

"You mean because Professor Dumbledore told you not to?" she asked.

"No, it's because I don't have all the pieces of the puzzle. None of us do."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"We've only been told on a need to know basis." He said, "And while I may know more then Mrs. Weasley, Moody may know more then me and Severus may know more than him."

"So Professor Snape knows more about this then anyone else?" she asked not waiting for an answer, "You're not very good at this comforting thing are you?"

"I'm sorry but it's the truth." He said with a smile, "Besides I never said I was any good at it."

"Right now, as far as I know, Dumbledore and Severus know the most about everything that's going on. You should wait and talk to them." He said placing his hand over hers, "If you want to know more after you've talked with them then I'll tell you as much as I can."

"Can I ask you a question now?" she asked.

"I can't guarantee you an answer" He said, "But you can ask."

"Is this just about me being friends with Harry," she asked, "Or is it something else?"

"We're not sure." Remus said after a pause. "But we're working hard to try and figure that out." Remus said it trying to be comforting but it wasn't to Hermione, if anything it added to her worry.

Hermione came back into the kitchen a few minutes later. She didn't apologize for what she had said but she was polite and courteous when she was around Mrs. Weasley, but Mrs. Weasley hadn't apologized for anything she said either. Fred and George tried to lighten the mood with a few jokes but tension was still in the air and most of the meal was in silence. No one had realized just how hard this had been on Hermione. Not even Ron or Harry, who had been in a similar situation himself.

----------------------------

Hermione, who it seems was serious when she said she had lost her appetite, was still picking at her meal when Professor Dumbledore apparated into the dinning room, Professor McGonagall and Snape following behind him.

"Well it seems awfully quiet in here." Dumbledore said a twinkle in his eye, "Have we missed something?"

"Nothing important" Mrs. Weasley said, "We were just having breakfast."

"Well some of us anyways." George said glancing at Hermione's barely touched plate.

"I'm glad to see that you have made it back to us unscathed, Miss Granger." He said causing her to snort resentfully into her glass before she could stop herself.

"You should swallow more carefully." George said patting her on her back trying to cover for her.

"Would any of you care for something to eat?" Mrs. Weasley asked, "We have plenty here."

"Oh no I just ate myself." Dumbledore said.

"Then why don't we head into the living room to discuss this" Mr. Weasley suggested, "It will give us more room." The group followed Mr. Weasley into the living room, except for Ginny, who Mrs. Weasley had sent upstairs despite her many protests.

Dumbledore stood in the middle of the room with Professor McGonagall to his left and Snape to his right while everyone else took their seats around the room. Harry sat on the large couch, Ron and Hermione on either side of him. "I'm sure that you all have a lot of questions." Dumbledore said all eyes on him, "But unfortunately we do not have all the answers to them yet. However I'm sure that by now you have realized that Miss Granger is the reason we're here."

"She is?" Ron asked.

"She is." Dumbledore said, "The Order believes that Miss Granger is in danger. After Severus learned that the Deatheaters were creating a plan to find her we thought that it was best to formulate a plan of are own to keep her safe. That is why we sent her to Mr. Krum's to stay."

"But wouldn't she have been safer here?" Harry asked, "With the members of the Order to protect her?"

"We were trying to hide her. We couldn't very well do that here, it would be the first place they checked. Well the second really but we figured that they already had someone watching the Granger's home." Professor McGonagall explained, "We thought the Krum's would be less predictable and of course they were more than willing to help."

"How much danger is Hermione in?" Ron asked.

"We are not sure." Dumbledore said, "We are working to find out as much as we can but unfortunately that isn't a lot at the moment. It appears that Miss Granger was found as several owls we spotted watching the Krum's house over the last couple of days. So we needed to move Miss Granger again."

"But I thought you said that staying here was dangerous for her?" Harry asked.

"She will not be staying here." He said, "In fact most of you will not be."

"We're going with her?" Ron asked brightening up.

"Arthur and Molly will be staying here so that we keep up appearances and it's up to them if Ginny is to come along. A friend of mine has a small cottage on the beach that he is willing to lend us for awhile. Members of the Order will be staying there with you and extra protection will be given."

"So we get to go to the beach?" Ron asked.

"Yes, you get to go to the beach." Dumbledore said with a smile.

Ron flashed Harry and Hermione both a big grin and Harry couldn't help grin back. He had never been to the beach before, or at least not at a time where he could enjoy it. This would probably be the closest thing to a vacation he had ever had. He turned to Hermione to see what she thought of the idea only to find her playing with the edge of her sleeve, a worried expression on her face. None of her questions had been answered. Nothing had been explained or solved. As far as she knew there was no plan of action other then having her move from place to place for her safety.

She hated not knowing. She hated just having to set there as other people decided something for her. As other people decided what was best for her. She didn't know how Harry did it. She had never felt guiltier for repeatedly telling him to let the adults handle it over the years. She could feel him watching her and she knew he was worried. She took a deep breath before turning to look at him. He was hurting enough because of what had happened to Sirius, she would do what ever it took to make sure that he never felt that way because of her.

As Hermione's dark eyes met Harry's green ones it suddenly hit him full force what this meeting had been about. Another person was in danger because there connection to him. Another person could die because of him. Hermione smiled at him and it was comforting to see. He would make sure that he would always be able to see that smile when he needed to. He wouldn't let anything happen to her. They both knew that he wouldn't be able to go on if something did.

****

**_Please please review guys! _**


	3. Chapter Two: Holding Back

**_A/N: I've had a couple of people asking/mentioning about the ships for this story and I wanted to give everyone warning before you read this chapter. Hint Hint! This isn't a Hermione/Harry story, though it's very much about the two of them, it's about their friendship. Unless things change drastically there won't be a romance between the two. ducks Please don't hurt me if that's what you were hoping for. Though there will be plenty of hints at feelings and relationships (one starting in the chapter) between the different characters, that's not really what the story's about. _**

**_Chapter Two: Holding Back_**

"_**Ride along the road with friends  
And the road trip ends  
When the weather changes moods  
Tried to keep my jaw from dropping  
When I found out things  
I wish I'd never knew." **_

**- Invisible by Third Eye Blind**

**0 **

"I can't believe they won't let me go." Ginny said flopping down on to her bed.

"Its not like they're doing it to be mean." Hermione said sending Ginny a smile. "They're just worried about you. They think that you'd be safer here. It's just what parents do; they try to shield you from the world no matter how much of it you've already seen."

"I know" Ginny said setting up, "It's just hard being the youngest, but I guess you don't have that problem, do you? I mean _your_ parents let you go."

"I'm not entirely sure that it was up to them." She said pausing from her packing, "Professor Dumbledore talked to them alone, and I'm not really sure what he said…"

"Are you done packing?" Harry asked coming into there room pulling his own trunk behind him.

"Almost." Hermione said stuffing another shirt into her trunk, "It's just hard to shrink two trunks into one."

"We'll only be there for a few weeks Hermione" Ron said coming in, "There's no need to take everything you own."

"This from the boy who packed his whole wardrobe" George said coming in, Fred following him.

"Are you done packing yet?" Fred asked, "I think we're ready to leave."

"Arghh" Ginny said flopping down back on her bed.

"Don't be upset Ginny." George said setting down next to her, "I'm sure they'll let you go next time."

"Next time! _Next time_!" she said shooting an angry look at him, "When's the next time mum and dad going to take us to the beach?"

"Technically there not taking us." Fred pointed out, "Dumbledore is."

"I don't think they had much choice in the matter." George said.

"That's what Hermione was saying." Ginny said.

"Well great minds do think alike." He said with a smile.

"There we go." Hermione said putting her last book into the trunk. "That's everything." She said struggling to close the top.

"How much stuff do you have in there?" Ron asked.

"I'm not sure." She said, "But it doesn't seem to want to shut."

"Allow me." George said taking out his wand. With a swish of his wand and a muttered phrase the trunk closed and locked itself.

"There," he said with a satisfied smile, "that wasn't so difficult."

"No, not when you can do it with magic." Hermione said blowing hair out of her face.

"Well it won't be long before you can do it yourself." George said, "Even when you're not in Hogwarts."

"What are you talking about?" Ron asked.

"Her birthday, idiot." George said, "She'll be seventeen in September and she'll be of age. Do you have anything special planned for it yet?"

"It's still a while away." Hermione said shaking her head blushing, "I haven't thought of anything yet."

"Well Fred and I will be there to help you celebrate." He told her.

"What are you talking about?" Ron asked.

"Mum wants us to get are N.E.W.T.s." Fred explained. "She said we needed something to fall back on."

"And we figured with everything going on we should be nice and do it for her." George said.

"Besides it's only for another semester." Fred said, "Dumbledore made special arrangements so that we could take the tests at the end of this term."

"So you're coming back with us?" Ginny practically squealed.

"Looks like you'll have to put up with us for another year." George told Ginny but his eyes were on Hermione the whole time. Hermione felt her cheeks flare at the implication in his words and quickly looked away. She hadn't expected that from George.

"Looks like it." Ron said looking back and forth between the two.

"Hurry up!" Mrs. Weasley voice called from downstairs, "Everyone's waiting!"

"Coming!" Fred called back. "We probably shouldn't keep her waiting very long," He said quieter, "she might blow a gasket."

"I don't think she's very happy with all of you going." Ginny said.

"I think she made that pretty clear last night when she was shouting at Dad." Ron said.

"I don't think Dumbledore consulted them before he told us." Harry told them.

"Maybe we should just go down there." Hermione suggested grabbing her trunk's handle. She didn't want to make Mrs. Weasley any more upset then she was by making her wait.

"Here I can get that for you." George said taking it from her.

"But don't you have to get your own?" she asked.

"It's already downstairs." He said with a smile heading towards the door.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Bill? Charlie? What are you doing here?" Ron asked coming into the living room.

"We're going with you." Charlie said rolling his eyes.

"Wait_ you're_ the members of the Order that are going with us?" Harry asked.

"Lupin and us." Bill said with a smile, "What are you guys disappointed?"

"Well no, we just…" Ron stuttered, "I mean…"

"We're just surprised." Hermione said, "We expected…Well I don't know who we expected really."

"I halfway expected it to be Snape." Harry said.

"That would be rather unpleasant." Bill said, as the rest of the group agreed. "We volunteered to come with you actually. Several weeks spent at the beach sounded pretty good to us."

"Better then some of the other missions they've sent us on anyways." Charlie said.

"So now the two of you are going too?" Ginny asked, an annoyed look on her face. It seemed as if she was always being left out of something. She really should have been more used to it by now, but it still hurt. She knew it was silly but she always felt as if she just wasn't special enough to be a part of the group. She knew she could never be a part of the golden trio, but she had accepted it. It just hurt not to feel like part of the family.

"Sorry Gin" Bill said ruffling her hair, "Will all be back soon and maybe you'll finally see what its like to be an only child. You'll have all of mum and dad's attention for a change."

"You mean _all _of it?" she asked slowly. That didn't sound that appealing to her.

"Sorry Ginny" He said with a smile, "Just try not to draw to much attention to yourself and you'll be fine."

"In other words, if Fred and George would do it, don't do it." Charlie added.

"Is everyone ready to go?" Mr. Weasley said coming into the room.

"I think so." Bill said looking around to confirm it with the others.

"What about Remus?" Harry asked, "Isn't he coming?"

"He went up early to make sure that everything was secured," Charlie explained, "He's waiting for us there now. Now Fred and George you can obviously get there on your own. But the rest of you will have to go with one of us. Normally we'd go by the Floo network but the cabin doesn't have a fireplace."

"Harry and Ron you can come with me." Bill said, "And Hermione you can go with Charlie."

"We can take someone." George offered.

"Have you ever done that before?" Hermione asked.

"Well, no." Fred said. "But it can't be that difficult." George said.

"Let's just keep it as we planned." Bill said, "We don't want any limbs left here when they're supposed to be over there."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bill, Ron, and Harry were the firsts to arrive, shortly followed by Fred, and then George, and then finally Charlie and Hermione. "It doesn't matter how many times I do that." Hermione said quickly finding her way to the couch, "It doesn't get any better."

"You'll like it better when you can do it yourself." Charlie said setting down beside her, "It's much nicer when you have more control."

"Well if it's anything like flying, I'll never learn to like it." She said giving them all a weak smile.

"Never say never, Hermione" Remus said walking in from another room, "You might have to eat those words later."

"I'm glad to see that you all made it here in one piece." He said with a smile.

"Where exactly is here?" Harry asked looking around the cottage. The living room was large and there were several doorways off to the right, he imagined that's where the bedrooms were, and there was a doorway in front of them that led to the kitchen. It wasn't overly large, but wasn't small. In fact Harry couldn't have asked for anything better. It had a warm feeling about it and it had an aura of magic. It made him feel safe and protected something that he hadn't felt in a long time.

"It's a friend of Dumbledore's summer house." Lupin explained.

"No, I mean, where are we?" he asked, "Are we even still in England?"

"I think its best if we don't answer that." Lupin said, "Too much information can be a bad thing."

"And not enough can be just as bad." Harry countered. He didn't like not knowing where he was.

"Maybe we should discuss this later?" Hermione suggested falling back into her normal role as mediator.

"Yes I think that's a good idea." Bill said standing up, "Remus why don't you show us where we're going to be sleeping."

"Actually I was hoping to get your opinions on that." He said, "We have eight people and three rooms. I think that one adult should be in each room."

"I agree." Bill said standing up.

"But we still have a slight problem." Charlie said, "Hermione is the only girl here."

"She is isn't she?" Bill said just realizing it himself, "Well who's going to sleep with her?"

"And before you ask" Charlie said before Fred and George could respond, "It won't be either of you."

"Well we can't give her her own room." Charlie continued, "Someone should definitely be in there."

"I know" Bill said, "But mum will have a fit if she finds out that Hermione was alone in a room with a man all night. She would call it improper and yell at us all."

"Honestly," Hermione said finally joining in on the conversation, "I _can_ sleep in a room where there are members of the opposite sex without anything happening. It's not like I haven't done it before."

"What do you mean you've done it before?" Ron asked.

"Maybe we could just not tell mum." Charlie suggest ignoring Ron, "I mean its not like she's going to find out."

"That could work." Bill said nodding his head in agreement. Harry noticed Remus shaking his head at the younger men, and distinctly heard Hermione mutter 'boys' under her breath like she had done so many times before.

"I'm going to go find a room." She said. "Make sure whoever sleeps in my room doesn't snore." She said heading towards the room on the far right, "Because I'm telling you now, if you do, you will be kicked out."

"Bill I reckon you should sleep in our room." Fred said.

"We all know you snore and you wouldn't want to end up sleeping on the couch." George said.

"How about you Lupin?" Fred asked, "Do you snore?"

"Not that anyone's ever told me." He said, "But I'm not really sure."

"You probably shouldn't risk it." Charlie said grabbing his bag, "I'll go. No one's ever told me that I snore."

"And we all know plenty of people would have had the opportunity." Fred called after him.

-------------------------------------

"Come on Hermione." Ron said banging on the door, "How long does it take to change into a bathing suit?"

"All that pounding isn't helping anything." She called back, "And if you don't stop soon I'll go even slower."

"Come on Ron" Harry said guiding him away from the door, "You know Hermione she won't do anything unless she wants too."

"Yeah I guess so." Ron said slinging his towel over his shoulder.

"Where's Hermione?" Bill asked as they came back into the kitchen, "She is coming isn't she?"

"She's still getting ready." Ron said, "You know how girls are."

"No but why don't you enlighten us Ron?" Hermione asked from behind them.

"I always have the worst timing." He said slowly turning around. When he saw Hermione his jaw dropped. She was standing there dressed in a brown bikini with a towel wrapped around her waist. This wasn't the Hermione he knew. She was always covered up, dressed in baggy robes and loose sweaters. He had seen her dressed up at the Yule ball but this was another thing completely. He had always considered her pretty, but he had never seen her like this.

As Harry looked at her he couldn't help but stare like Ron. He hadn't noticed it before but she had changed over the summer. It wasn't a huge different, it wasn't as if she looked like someone else completely, but her hair had tamed down so that it now hung in thick loose curls, she had grown several inches, and she seemed more confident now. He had always considered Hermione pretty but now, now she seemed so much more like an adult. None of them had been children for a long time, but Hermione was the only one that seemed to look like the adult they all claimed to be.

Hermione shifted uncomfortably, as she tried not to make eye contact with any of the boys, all who seemed to be staring at her. Her mother had bought the suit for her before she left with Dumbledore and she really hadn't had any say in it. She hadn't even known that it was a two-piece until her and Viktor had decided to go swimming when she was staying with him. She had received the same response from Viktor, and it was making her just as uncomfortable now as it did then.

"Before everyone goes outside" Lupin said clearing his throat causing everyone to look at him, "I think we need to discuss a few of the house rules."

"No one and I mean no one" He said looking at Fred and George, "Is to wander off by themselves and if you are leaving you are to inform a member of the Order. Also we see no need for any of you to go any further then the beach so don't go too far even if you do tell us. We can't save you if we don't know where you are."

-----------------------------------------

"It's so beautiful here." Hermione said setting her towel down on the sand.

"Where ever here is" Harry muttered putting his towel down next to hers.

"Give it a rest, Harry." Ron said setting down beside him, "There never going to tell us where we are."

"It's probably for the best." Hermione said, "I mean they never told me where I was when I was staying with Viktor. I think it's so we don't accidentally let something slip."

"Its not like we're going to go shouting it out for everyone to hear" Harry said annoyed, "I mean we're not complete idiots."

"If you're including Ron in that then I'd have to disagree." Fred said dropping his towel onto the sand.

"Your one to talk." Ron muttered darkly under his breath.

"What's that you're playing with Hermione?" George asked.

"Oh it's a necklace my father got for me." She said letting her hand drop, "It was sort of a welcome home present." "He said that he saw it and thought of me." She said with a shy smile picking it up again, "Because of the blue sapphires, my birthstone, and the moon because he's always saying that I'm such a night owl."

"That was nice of him." Bill said with a smile, "It reminds me of some sort of amulet."

"That's what I told him." Hermione said, "But I don't think he was thrilled with that. He and my mum are beginning to get a little weary of the wizarding world."

"Can't really blame them though" Harry said, "I mean with everything happening."

"No I guess not." She admitted quietly.

"So who wants to go for a swim?" she asked trying to change the subject.

"Um…not right now" Harry said not wanting to tell her that she couldn't swim, "But maybe later."

"Yeah I think I'm going to get something to eat." Ron said heading towards the picnic basket by Charlie with Fred following him.

"Well how about you George" she said turning towards him, "Care for a swim?"

"Umm…yeah, sure." He said with a huge smile.

"Well come on." She said grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the water, "It'll be fun."

"Has anyone else noticed George acting funny?" Bill asked watching as Hermione dragged him into the water laughing.

"I think funny is a bit of an understatement." Harry said with a smile.

"Yeah if I didn't know better…well I'd say that he fancied Hermione." Ron said setting down beside him, "But I mean that would never happen, would it?"

"Never say never" Fred said mimicking Lupin's voice, "Or I'll force you to eat those words myself."

"You don't think he _does_ fancy Hermione?" Harry asked, watching the two of them splash water at each other.

"Oh come on this is Hermione and George we're talking about." Ron said rolling his eyes, "I mean George is…well George and Hermione's still Hermione no matter what she's wearing."

-------------------------------------------

Things continued like this, going to the beach and spending the day there just having fun with each other. Swimming in the ocean, eating, and playing games. George and Fred pulling pranks on everyone, well everyone except Hermione they seemed to have forgotten about her. And the nights were filled with dinners that Bill usually cooked, seeing as he was the best at it.

Hermione had tried once but it had turned out really bad as everything was either black and burned or undercooked and pink. No one had the heart to tell her what it really tasted like so they had forced smiles and told her that they liked it. She believed them until she tried it herself and wound up spitting it back out. She helped Remus to make sandwich's to replace her ruined meal but hadn't offered to help make anything since.

Harry could tell that she was embarrassed as she was normally good at whatever she was doing and it was hard for her not to be able to do something that she considered to be a simple task. She later confided in Harry that George had distracted her while she was cooking and she had left the food in the oven for too long but she hadn't realize what she had done until she tried them. Harry just smiled telling her that he was sure she's do better the next time and tried to forget the reason for her distraction.

At night Harry and Ron usually played wizarding chest while Fred and George worked on there latest creations for the joke shop often asking if they could try them out on Harry and Ron. Sometimes they didn't ask.

Hermione was usually buried in a book but occasionally she would join in on the conversation that Remus, Bill, and Charlie were having. Ron and Harry had originally tried to join in too but most of the time they had no idea what they were talking about, so they usually didn't have much to add.

Tonight was no different. Ron was, as usual, beating Harry at Chess and Hermione was trying to read, but she couldn't seem to concentrate. She had read the same sentence eight times now and she still didn't know what it said. "Oh I give up." She sighed slamming her book shut causing everyone to jump, "Its hopeless I just can't concentrate."

"What's the matter?" Ron asked his eyes never moving off the chess board.

"Nothing I just tired I guess," She told them, "but I think I'm going to head on to bed."

"I think I'll join you." Charlie said with a yawn, "I think all that swimming tired me out."

"Oh, really?" she asked surprised, "Umm…well okay then." Charlie and Hermione slowly made there way to their bedroom telling everyone goodnight.

"Has anyone else noticed her acting strangely lately?" Ron asked once he was sure that she was gone.

"What do you mean?" Lupin questioned, a worry written all over his face.

"Well I don't know." He said, "She's just seems distracted a lot and this isn't the first time she's gone to bed earlier then the rest of us."

"And she's always the first one up." Harry added, "And well she's never really been a morning person, it's kind of odd for that to change now."

"I'm sure she's fine." Bill told them although his body language said differently, "The stress of everything that's happening is probably just getting to her." Lupin and Bill briefly exchanged concerned glances clearly saying that they would discuss it further when Harry and Ron weren't around and then went back to sipping there coffee.

--------------------------------------

It had been raining the last two days and it was frustrating everyone in the house. They couldn't go outside, they couldn't fly their brooms, and the fact that they couldn't leave the cottage, never seemed to leave anyone's mind. Hermione had attempted to read for awhile but she couldn't seem to focus and ended up at the kitchen table drinking tea and staring out the window instead.

"Hermione you seem quiet." Remus said from across the table.

"I'm just a little tired." She said turning to look at him, "I haven't been sleeping very well."

"Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" he asked.

"No, I'm…I'm just adjusting to the new room and bed. Once I get used to it I should be fine." She told him. She didn't like lying to him but she couldn't bring herself to tell him either.

"Are you sure?" he asked, "Because I'm here if you need to talk."

"I know Remus." She said she said with a soft smile, "And I'm glad you are."

She turned back to the window as Remus continued to watch her. She could feel his eyes on her back but acted as normal as possible, hoping him to think she was oblivious of his concern and worry. She heard him get up a few minutes later and listened for his footsteps to make sure he was out of the room. When she was sure he was gone she let her shoulder sag and her mask fell. She had had more then just a few nights of bad sleep. It was much more then that. Now if only she could figure out what that was.

----------------------------

"Harry, Harry wake up." Hermione said softly shaking his sleeping form. Harry rolled over to his other side blinking, trying to make out the shape of Hermione and Ron leaning over him.

"Here's your glasses mate." Ron said handing them to him.

"Thanks." He said putting them on, "Mind telling me why the two of you woke me up in the middle of the night. I had just gotten to sleep."

"Happy Birthday Harry!" Hermione and Ron said in unison. It was quiet because they were trying not to wake Remus but the intent and happiness was quite clear. He finally noticed the chocolate cupcake in Hermione's hands, a candle burning brightly.

Hermione held the cupcake out towards him, "Come on Harry, make a wish." Ron said. Harry gave them a goofy smile, before closing his eyes to make his wish. Hermione watched him in that brief moment transform from a happy boy celebrating to his birthday to a man, wishing that everything was different. Hermione was pretty sure she knew what he wished for when he blew out his candle.

"Happy Birthday Harry." She said as he opened his eyes. He smiled back, but you could tell his heart wasn't as in it.

"Thanks Hermione." He said.

"Well hurry up and eat your cupcake." She said gesturing towards it, "Otherwise Ron will eat it first."

"Who…I mean who would of—"

"Don't worry Harry, I didn't make it." She told him. Ron and Harry shared a grin as Hermione pulled out a few gifts from his side. "Here you go Harry." She said.

"Open it up." Ron said his mouth full of the cupcake that Harry had shared with him.

The first present was wrapped in dark red shiny paper, with a gold bow. It was rather obvious that Hermione had wrapped it, normally whenever Ron wrapped something you could see part of your present before you opened it. Not that Harry was much better at it himself.

"Go on Harry, open it." Hermione encouraged him quietly.

Harry tore into the paper, hoping that Hermione wouldn't mind that all of her work had been ruined, pulling out a large book. "Thanks…" he said uncertainly.

"Open it up Harry." Hermione said with an encouraging smile. What had appeared to be a book he found was actually a photo album. It had photos ranging from when his parents and Sirius had gone to school to the three of them in their Hogwarts years. There were pictures in here he had never known existed.

"Thanks you guys." He said his hand running over the picture of his parents. He had never seen this one before.

"It was mostly Hermione." Ron said, "She was the one who came up with the idea."

"It was easy either." Hermione told him, "Colin thought I was crazy when I showed up on his doorstep…well that wasn't his initial thought, but that doesn't matter. Remus helped a lot too, with some of the older photographs and so did Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Dumbledore even let us go to Grimmauld Place to look for pictures there. That's where a lot of the ones from when your parents were in school. I hope you don't mind that we—"

"Hermione, it's great." He interrupted her, "I couldn't ask for a better birthday present."

"Guess we don't have to give you the rest then." Ron said with a smile.

--------------------------------

Harry was setting in the kitchen staring out the window. Everybody but him and Remus had gone outside awhile ago. He could see Charlie and Ron playing the muggle game Frisbee that Hermione had introduced to them. Ron had found it fascinating how something so simple could keep muggles interested for so long, Harry never mentioned that the same thing had kept him busy the last three days. Bill was on one of the beach chairs asleep with Hermione in the chair next to him reading what looked to be a very thick book. Fred and George were setting on the blanket eating the last of the lunch that Remus had packed for them and talking about something. But if you looked closely, like Harry was, it seemed as if George wasn't fully interested in the conversation, not like he normally was. If you followed his gaze it looked like he might be looking at….

"How you doing Harry?" Remus asked coming up beside him.

"Okay." Harry said with a nod in Remus' direction.

"Happy to finally be sixteen?" He asked.

"So far, so good." Harry said.

"It's been nice to get away, don't you think." Remus said gesturing to the beach. "Before I came to stay at the Burrow, I had been staying at Headquarters." He said glancing at Harry to see his reaction. "I'm glad I won't have to go back there for awhile."

"Yeah…" Harry said. Remus hadn't expected him to open up to him but he had to try.

"Dumbledore took me there, before I came to the Burrow." Harry said, "Something about closure…I don't know. I'm glad I don't have to stay there either."

"You know Harry—"

"I appreciate the offer Remus, but I really don't want to talk about it. Not right now."

"I understand Harry but just know that if you ever want to, I'm here. So are Hermione and Ron."

"I know, thanks Remus." He said.

"Though I might actually recommend talking to Hermione, unless you don't want to be hugged of course…."

"She does tend to hug."

"She's an emotional person."

"There's nothing wrong with that…" Harry said, "Except the hair. It tends to make it harder to breath." Remus gave a hearty laugh next to him.

"I don't think that you'll have that problem now." He said gesturing to Hermione who you could still see you the window.

"Yeah, just another thing that's changed." He said softly.

----------------------------

Hermione awoke gasping for breath. Her chest ached as she struggled to breathe evenly. She hated it when this happened. She hated it when she couldn't get the images out of her head. She wanted nothing more then for this to just stop happening.

She stumbled out of bed to the other side of the room, stopping in front of Charlie's bed. She took a shaky breath before leaning down and shaking Charlie's arm. "Charlie," she whispered "Charlie please wake up."

"'ermione?" he mumbled.

"Hermione what's wrong?" he asked seeing the unshed tears in her eyes.

"Nothing, I just…and…Can I sleep over here tonight?"

"Hermione are you sure that that's –"

"Please Charlie?"

"Alright." He said unable to say no. She looked to distraught, more upset then he had ever seen her despite all the things she had already seen in her life. He couldn't have said no if he wanted too.

He moved over so she would have enough room, pulling the quilt down, a silent invitation to lie down. She got into bed silently, putting her head down on his chest.

"Thank you Charlie." She said quietly. They both pretended not to notice the tears that fell onto his chest.

----------------------------

When Remus awoke he found Hermione in the kitchen making coffee. She looked tired. He noticed she looked tired a lot lately. He had asked Charlie about it but he had said that she was asleep each night when he went to bed. He hadn't said anything about nightmares or fitful sleep but that didn't mean that it didn't happen.

"Oh, hello Remus." She said with a smile, "Would you like some coffee?"

"Yes thank you." He said. He noticed that when she smiled she didn't seem so tired anymore.

"I'd make breakfast but I don't think any of us want that." She said with a laugh.

"Then maybe I should make it." He said, "Anything in particular that you want?"

"Oh I'm not hungry. I already fixed myself some toast and jam." She said pointing towards the plate in the sink.

"How long have you been awake?" he asked.

"Not that long." She said.

"How long is not long?"

"I got to see the sunrise." She said with a sheepish smile, "It was pretty."

"Hermione…."

"It was nothing Remus…I just couldn't get back to sleep." She told him.

"Was it another nightmare?"

"What do you mean _another_?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well…Charlie sort of told me about the one you had the other night." He said.

"He did, did he?" she asked.

"He was just worried Hermione." He told her, "He said that you seemed really shaken up but you wouldn't tell him what it was about."

"It did upset me Remus." She said looking up at him, "It was a nightmare and it was unsettling. But I'm fine, I promise."

"Hermione…"

"Remus, has he mentioned anything since then?" she interrupted him.

"Well, no…" he said.

"Exactly." Hermione said, "I had a nightmare and did frighten me, but one nightmare doesn't mean anything Remus."

"If you're sure." He said.

"I'm sure, Remus." She said her eyes full of conviction, "You need to stop worrying so much." She flashed him a smile that he couldn't help but share. As far as he knew, he had no reason not to believe her.

-----------------------------------

They were just finishing breakfast when Harry spotted the three owls coming towards the window. He was pretty sure he knew why they were there. Harry felt Hermione tense next to him as the owls landed on the window ledge. Remus went to retrive them and Harry patted Hermione's hand comfortingly. "You don't have anything to worry about Hermione." He told her, "Trust me, your not the one who fell asleep during one of your exams."

"Or called you instructor ugly." Ron said, "That can't have helped my Divination grade."

"Here you three go." Remus said setting the letters down in front of them, "I'm sure you'll all do fine."

Hermione tentatively reached for hers, as Ron made a grab for his and Harry took his own. All of them were anxious to see there grades but all of them were dreading what they might actually be.

"Well this isn't too bad." Ron said looking over his results. He had failed Divination, which he always knew he would, and had barely scraped by in History of Magic but other then that he had done better then he thought. "I managed to get seven O.W.L.s. How about the two of you?"

"Seven here too." Harry said looking up from his own lists, "Even managed an O in Defense."

"Great job guys." Remus said giving them a thump on the back.

"Mum will certainly be proud." Bill said looking over Ron's shoulder to see his scores.

"How'd you do Hermione?" Harry asked, she still hadn't said anything.

"Oh, quite well." She said folding up her letter. In fact she had done extremely well; she just didn't want to flaunt it in front of them. Ron and her had gotten into enough fights over the years because of that.

"Oh come on Hermione." Ron said, "We all know you did better then that, what did you get?"

"Ten O's and one E." she said quietly.

"Wow!" Bill said.

"I always knew you'd do great." Harry said patting her hand.

"Yeah, Mione never expected anything less." Ron said with a smile of his own.

-------------------------------------

"Have you thought about what classes you want to take next year?" Hermione asked setting down on the couch next to Harry.

"Umm…the ones I always take?" he said unsure of what she meant.

"After you take your O.W.L.s you're allowed to drop some of the classes that you had to take before." Hermione reminded him.

"Oh yeah, forgot about that." Harry said.

"I'm having a terrible time deciding." Hermione said, "I don't know what I want to do yet, so that means that I don't know what classes I should take."

"You should try to become an Auror like me and Harry." Ron said coming back into the living room.

"I don't know…" Hermione said. She didn't think that she wanted to become an Auror. She had always been the brains behind the bronze, with Harry and Ron she had almost never had to been both. She didn't know if she had it in her to be both. "Aren't you supposed to take Potions to become an Auror?" she asked trying to change the subject.

"That's what McGonagall said last year." Harry said.

"But doesn't Professor Snape only accept O students in his N.E.W.T. classes?" Hermione asked.

"Well, he likes it that way but McGonagall said that he could be persuaded if necessary." Ron said. "Hopefully if we talk to Dumbledore he'll be able to get us in."

"And if he can't?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know." He said, "Let's just hope he can."

---------------------------------

"Can I ask your opinion Bill?" Hermione asked coming up next to him. They were at the beach again and everyone else was off playing.

"Of course Hermione." He said with a smile.

"I was just wondering…See I'm trying to decide what classes to take this year." She said, "And well, I tried to talk to Ron and Harry but they were no help…"

"So you were wondering what I thought." He finished for her.

"Yeah." She said, "I mean I know there are certain classes I want to take. Like Defense and Transfiguration and Charms but it's the other classes that I need to decide upon."

"Well personally I've found Arithmancy and Ancient Runes to be extremely helpful." He said, "But then again I'm a curse breaker, so my job consists of something's that others won't."

"True." She said.

"And if you ask Charlie, I'm sure he'll try to get you to take Care of Magical Creature." He said, "I know he already convinced Ron to take it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think he finally convinced him last night." Bill said, "You know in case he can't get into Potions class, Charlie told him that they were always looking for more people to work with the Dragons. He seemed to like the idea."

"At least one of us has plans for the future." Hermione said with a small smile. She only wished that that person was her.

----------------------------------

Harry was awoken by the sound of someone walking around outside their room. He quickly grabbed for his glasses and began searching for his wand. He felt a wave of relief pass over him as he heard the footsteps fade in the other direction before he realized that there was still someone out there whether they came in the room or not.

He quickly moved over to Ron and shook him awake quickly putting his hand over his mouth so that he wouldn't alert the person that they knew they were there, as he motioned for him to listen. Ron's eyes widened as he heard the footsteps and heard the squeak of a floor board from the living room. He followed Harry's lead and grabbed his wand from the bedside table and slowly followed Harry out of the room.

They heard the door lightly shut and saw someone moving outside. Harry raised his wand and headed towards the door when Ron suddenly stopped him.

"What are you doing?" Harry whispered.

"Look" he said pointing outside. Harry looked again, this time his vision was not obscured by thoughts of Deatheaters or someone coming to attack them, and he saw what Ron was looking at. It was Hermione standing outside on the porch still in her nightgown.

"What's she doing out there?" Harry asked.

"Dunno" Ron said, "Should we go outside and check on her or something?"

"Probably." Harry said heading towards the door.

"What are you doing out here?" Harry asked, approaching her. Hermione quickly spun around her wand raised ready to hex anyone with in her sight.

"What are you two doing out here?" she hissed, lowering her wand once she realized that it was them, "You almost gave me a heart attack."

"We heard footsteps and came to check it out." Harry said, "What made you come out here?"

"I…I couldn't sleep." She stammered, "I wanted a bit of fresh air and I thought out here would be a good place for some…so I came out…"

"Without telling anyone?!" Harry asked, "You do know how dangerous that is, don't you?"

"I didn't want to have to wake anyone up." She said defensively, "I only planned on being out here for a minute. You know just to clear my head."

"You _should_ have woken up Charlie." He continued.

"I couldn't have woken up Charlie if I wanted to." She said.

"She's got a point, Harry." Ron said, "Once Charlie's asleep, he's asleep and there isn't much you can do to wake him."

"You still should have woken someone up." Harry continued.

"This from the two boys that heard someone outside and went to handle it themselves instead of waking up Remus," Hermione countered. Harry didn't have a response for that. To be honest he hadn't thought about waking him up, he had forgotten he was even in there room.

"Look I'm tired and I don't want to get into this anymore." She said with a sad smile, "Can we please just drop it?"

"Yeah I guess." Harry mumbled realizing he had done the same thing that he had gotten upset at her for, "Sorry."

"You were just worried." She said, "Don't apologize for that."

---------------------

None of them brought it up the next day and they didn't mention it again. Harry still heard her go out every night but he didn't go after her. He figured it was something that she had to do and that following her wouldn't make her stop. Harry decided that he would only worry if she didn't come back in after an hour but like clockwork she always did.

He never told her that he knew what she did each night but somehow he thought she knew. Whenever someone would ask her how she slept or ask her why she seemed so tired she would always cast an anxious look towards Harry before answering.

------------------------------

Harry heard her footsteps outside the door and then the sound of the door opening and then closing again. He turned on his side burying his head in the pillow, he was enjoying the peaceful silence when he heard a quiet crash from outside followed by someone loudly swearing and a female voice giggling. He quickly made his way over to Ron waking him up.

"Wuzzgoinon?" he asked before he too heard the commotion. "What the…" he asked reaching for his wand.

"Come on." Harry said heading towards the door. Harry practically sprinted for the door when he saw that there were to figures outside and somehow he managed to go even faster when he saw the figures getting closer. He skidded to a halt in front of Hermione and…George.

George had his hands wrapped around Hermione's waist and her hands were around his neck, both looking like deer caught in the headlights, although George looked like a rather cocky one.

"What are you two doing?" Ron asked though it was obvious what they had been doing.

"We were…were…" she said looking at around for help. "Well I think you know what we were doing." She said untangling herself from George.

"Yes we know _what _you were doing." Ron exclaimed, "But that doesn't explain _why_ you were doing it."

"Ron please." she said not meeting his eyes, "You're going to wake up the whole house."

"I think what Ron meant to say" Harry said still very confused himself. "Is well…when did _this _happen?" he said gesturing to the two of them.

"A couple of nights ago" George grinned.

"So you're…you're dating?" Harry said still unable to believe it.

"More or less so." Hermione said quietly. She hadn't meant for them to find out like this. She had meant to set them down and hopefully have a calm talk with them. She didn't want this to happen.

"I'm sorry" Harry said, "But can you repeat that."

"We were going to tell you." Hermione said, "I just wasn't sure how to."

"I told her to just come out and say it" George said, "But she kept babbling on about timing."

"Is this why you've been coming out here every night?" Harry asked suddenly understanding it.

"Yes." She replied quickly before George could disagree, she just hoped he wouldn't say anything about it.

"Ron" Hermione said turning towards him with a worried expression on her face, "Ron, are you okay? You haven't said much. We didn't mean to have you…find us."

"I think the word's catch." George told her quietly.

"I'm fine." Ron finally said a funny expression on his face. "A bit surprised." He said, "But fine."

"You mean your okay with this?" Harry asked astonished. He was more upset then Ron and everyone knew that Ron and Hermione had more then sibling-type feelings for each other.

"That's great." George said, "I was afraid you'd try to hex me."

"I was afraid you'd hit him." Hermione said relief written on her face.

"Well it'll take some getting used to." Ron said, "But I can't very well stop it now, can I?"

"Oh I'm so happy." Hermione said hugging each of them.

-------------------------------------------

"So you're really okay with this?" Harry asked Ron quietly once they were all back in there own rooms.

"Of course" Ron said, "How many times are you going to ask me that question?"

"I'm going to keep asking until you give an answer I'd expect." Harry said, "I mean I would have thought you would have gone off on George for doing something like this, especially without telling you." "Although looking back there were a few clues…" he trailed off, beginning to curse himself for not noticing what was right in front of his face. All those times he had noticed George staring at Hermione, all those times Hermione had giggled at his jokes.

"I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this." Ron asked, "I mean come on, it's not like there serious or anything."

"What?" Harry questioned.

"Think about it Harry." Ron said, "George has never had a serious relationship in his life. Remember Samantha, Isabella, Katie…Hermione isn't going to be any different."

"Do you really believe that?" Harry asked skeptical.

"Well, yeah." Ron said.

"Then shouldn't we tell Hermione?" he asked, "You know, warn her of what may happen."

"And have her go off on us?" Ron asked, "No thank you. I think its better if we just let her believe we're okay with it now and that we be there for her later, when they split up."

"Are you sure that's what's going to happen?" Harry asked.

"Of course, Harry." He said he said climbing into bed. "You'll see. It'll be over before you know it. Don't worry." He said it to convince Harry but it seemed to him as if he was trying to convince himself.

"Well if you say so." Harry said pulling up the covers around him, "I mean I guess you do know him better then I do…"

"Trust me Harry." He said stifling a yawn, "He'll get bored after a little while and move on to someone else."

"When do you think it happened?" Harry asked breaking the sudden silence in the room.

"They said a couple of nights ago." Ron said in a bored voice.

"I know but how does something like that just happen?" Harry asked, "I mean _do_ things like that just happen?"

"Well I don't know." Ron said propping his head up on his hand and looking at Harry, "Normally I'd ask Hermione but I guess we can't really do that this time, can we?"

"No I guess not." Harry said, "But at least we found out why she's been acting so strange lately."

--------------------------------------------

"So what was all that commotion we heard last night?" Remus asked causing Hermione to choke on her coffee. She had been trying not to think about that. She felt incredibly guilty that she hadn't told Harry and Ron when it happened but she just wasn't sure what Ron was going to say or do, and she really didn't want fight with him. Not now, she couldn't deal with that right now. He had taken it surprisingly well right now.

"If I hadn't recognized your voices then I would have gone rushing out myself." Bill said setting a plate of food on the table.

"What are you talking about?" Charlie asked, "I didn't hear anything."

"I'm not surprised." Harry said with a smile giving Hermione a very pointed look, "From what I hear you can sleep through anything."

"I mean how else could have Hermione snuck out the last couple of nights?" Ron asked causing Hermione to kick his leg underneath the table. He wasn't supposed to say that.

"You snuck out?" Fred asked impressed, "Why didn't I think to do that?"

"I didn't go anywhere." Hermione said quickly before anyone could question her. She was sending a death glare towards Ron and Harry, and Harry was pretty sure that if looks really could kill then he would have died several slow and painful deaths by now.

"Yeah we just didn't want to bother anyone." George said taking a large bite of his breakfast.

"_We_?" Bill and Charlie asked in unison.

"What do you mean 'we'?" Bill asked suspiciously.

"We" George said grabbing Hermione's hand in his own, "As in Hermione and me." Hermione blushed deeply and didn't meet there eyes instead looking at Harry for help.

"Well this is an interesting turn of events." Remus said seeming just a stunned as Harry and Ron had been.

"Can't say I expected that." Charlie said looking between Hermione and George.

"Why didn't you tell all of us about this?" Bill asked looking at Hermione concerned, "I mean by the looks on Harry and Ron's faces they knew."

"Well we didn't exactly tell them." Hermione said, "They kind of…well they caught us."

"_They caught you_?" Fred repeated with a laugh, "George forgot to mention that."

"Well just don't go sneaking into each others room at night." Bill said a smile replacing his previous worried demeanor, "Don't want mum finding out and taking off all are heads."

---------------------------

Hermione and George's relationship, or whatever it was, wasn't brought up much after that. There was the occasional comment by Fred or by Charlie when they saw them holding hands or setting close to each other but not much more then that. Harry noticed that they didn't kiss or anything else too romantic in front of Ron; he figured Hermione had something to do with that.

Ron actually seemed to be dealing with it better then Harry. He occasionally poked fun at them and managed to only look slight appalled when he saw them saying goodnight before they went to bed.

"Does the two of them together confuse anyone else?" Harry asked once he was sure that they were gone and couldn't hear them.

"I think they even confuse themselves." Bill said with a smile.

"Its just…I mean, for a long time I was under the impression that Hermione was a big fan of George and well you Fred. No offence."

"None taken, I don't think she was particularly fond of us either." He said, "But I don't know. George ran into her last year in the kitchens. Said they spent the whole time talking. I don't know what they talked about but for the next couple of days she was _all_ he talked about. A bit annoying actually, just ask Lee, we both felt the pain. I didn't quite understand it but it made more sense when I caught them talking in the common room and once even in the library…didn't expect to find George there. I was only there cause someone told me he was. Never really thought anything would come out of it though…he stopped talking about her after we left school."

Harry looked over to Ron to see his reaction to the news that Hermione and George might be a little bit more serious then he thought. But Ron didn't seem effected by the news; he just shrugged his shoulders and went back to his card house. Harry knew that eventually it was going to hit Ron and he was going to be angry. Harry was just waiting for when that day came.

-----------------------------

The last days at the beach were a blur. Filled with as much fun as they could pack in before they had to return to the Burrow and then back to school. The days were filled with swimming and water fights with quidditch games at night. Bill had cleared an area big enough for them to play but wouldn't be seen by any muggles. They would play, three on each team, until Remus and Hermione were done making dinner. Actually Hermione didn't do that much but she said that she would rather watch Remus make dinner every night then she would spending night after night watching them all play quidditch. Ron and Charlie played Keepers, while everyone else played chasers.

The last day came quicker then any of them would have wished for and Hermione was once again trying to shove everything she brought back into her trunk. It was harder this time as everything had been taken out at some point and was no longer folded neatly. "Aren't you done yet?" Ron asked poking his head into her and Charlie's room.

"Don't push me." She snapped back still trying to close her trunk.

"Now I can see why Charlie sent me to come and see how you were doing instead of coming himself."

"Sorry Ron." She said with a small smile. "It's just this stupid trunk." She said kicking it, "It doesn't seem to want to close."

"Let me help." He said moving her out of the way so he could get to the trunk.

"I don't see how you can…" she began before she realized he had already closed it, "How did you do that?"

"It wasn't hard." He said with a laugh. "Now come on." He said grabbing the trunk from her, "Everyone's waiting on you."

"Why am I always the last one?" she asked following Ron into the living-room.

"Good question." George said moving next to her, "You are always the first to start packing. What_ does_ take you so long?"

"Don't we need to be leaving?" she asked turning to Remus and Harry purposefully ignoring George.

"Right you are." He said with a smile, "Will be travelling back the same way. Harry with me, Ron with Bill and Hermione with-"

"Can she go back with me?" George asked.

"I think you should wait until you're a little more experienced to do that." Bill said, "You wouldn't want any of Hermione to get left behind."

"Yeah it might be the good parts." Fred said earning a smack from George, Harry, and Hermione.

"It was just a joke." He said rubbing the back of his head.

"We should be going." Charlie said taking Hermione's hand in his own, "See you all back at the house." A second later they were gone with only the sound of Hermione's quiet yelp from when they had taken off left.

**_

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**_A/N 2: Hey guys! I hoped you liked the chapter, it didn't come out exactly like I wanted, despite the massive rewrites I did in a few places but I didn't know what to do to make it better, so this is what you get. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, I tend to miss those. _****_ In case anyone's interested I have two trailers for the story posted at Youtube, there's a link in my profile if you are. I should have the next chapter up soon but I'm not sure when._**

**_Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I love getting reviews (Nice one's anyways), so please please keep them coming! _**


	4. Chapter Three: Little Lies

**_Chapter Three: Little Lies _**

_**"How many times do you get to lie before you are a liar?" — Michael Josephson **_

Hermione stumbled as her feet hit the Burrow's floor. She felt hands wrap around her waist, to steady her, and saw a flash of red hair as the figure pulled her down onto the couch with him. "George…" she said unable to hide a grin, "George your mother's going to come in here and find us."

"So?"

"George…" she repeated.

"She's right George; trust me I've been there." Charlie said with a smile.

The other apparated in as George reluctantly loosened his grip on Hermione, allowing her to stand up. Ron and Harry didn't look to pleased finding them like that but didn't say anything. Bill and Remus just shook their heads at the happy couple, as Bill warned them not to let Mr. or Mrs. Weasley catch them.

"Hello?" they heard Ginny call from the hallway, "Is that you guys? Are you home?"

"Well that really depends on who you're talking about." Fred called back.

"Thank god it is you." She said coming into the room, "I couldn't stand being the only one here for another day."

"Ginny? Ginny who are you talking to?" Mrs. Weasley voice carried down the hall before she herself entered the room.

"Oh your back!" she exclaimed quickly enveloping the nearest people, Fred and Charlie, into a hug.

"How was your trip?" Ginny asked coming over to Hermione, "Did you all have loads of fun? Or was there nothing to do? Were you bored being the only girl there? Oh you have to tell me everything!"

"Calm down." Hermione said with a sympathizing smile, she knew what it was like to be an only child, "I can only answer one question at a time."

"You all must be hungry!" Mrs. Weasley's voice could be heard over all the commotion, "Why doesn't everyone put there things upstairs and then we can all go and eat."

Hermione took her trunk upstairs to her and Ginny's room while Ginny explained to her what had been happening there. "Mum and dad have been acting really weird and people keep popping in and out. It's like we've become the new headquarters or something."

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know," Ginny said, "but have you ever gotten the feeling that something's happening, you just don't know what."

"Yeah." Hermione said quietly. "I have."

-------------------------

When Hermione and Ginny finally made their way to the kitchen everyone was already there and Mrs. Weasley was setting food on the table. Hermione took the seat George had saved next to him and began filling her plate.

"So" Ginny said as she and Tonks sat down across from them, "Did anything exciting happen while you were there?"

"Not that much." Ron answered shrugging his shoulders, "We swam in the ocean, played some quidditch, Hermione tried making dinner once, that was pretty funny, but I don't know it wasn't that eventful."

"No one tried to kill us anyways." Harry added with a small smile.

"I think you two might be forgetting something." Charlie said nodding his head towards Hermione and George who were talking quietly, ignoring the rest of the table. Hearing the sudden silence Hermione turned her head and saw everyone's eyes on her and George.

"What?" George asked looking around.

"Oh." Hermione said suddenly realizing what they were all looking at. She and George were holding hands, it was such a normal thing now that she hadn't even noticed it but she was pretty sure that everyone else had.

"Wait a minute you two aren't…" Mrs. Weasley trailed off. "I mean when did…you two...I mean…Oh my." She said setting down.

"So you're dating?" Ginny asked surprised, "The two you?"

"Why does everyone react like that?" George snapped, "I mean you all look as if we told you that we were getting married or that she was pregnant or something."

"Don't worry Mrs. Weasley, I'm not." Hermione said after seeing her reaction to the word pregnant.

The rest of the meal there was a somewhat awkward tension throughout the table. It reminded Hermione of the night a few weeks ago when she had blown up at Mrs. Weasley and Remus. Only this time it was George that was sending Mrs. Weasley the dirty looks not her.

She and George both had expected Mrs. Weasley to be more open and accepting of the idea of their relationship and it hurt George that she wasn't. He hadn't eaten much all night and she knew he had been saying that he couldn't wait for his mothers cooking for the last few weeks. When dinner was finally over Hermione offered to help clear the table and with the dishes but Mrs. Weasley quickly told her no, sending an unpleasant look her way before asking a grumbling Ginny to help her.

"Come on." George mumbled pulling her out of the kitchen. He led her into Ginny's bedroom silently and sat down next to her on the bed. "I'm sorry about my mum." He said with a sad smile, "I didn't think she'd react like that." Hermione had never seen him look this serious before. He almost always had a smile on his face even in the most serious situations. That was part of the reason she liked him.

"She was just surprised George." She said, "That's all. I'm sure once the news sets in she'll-"

"Stop looking like I stole Ron's girlfriend." He said sharply. She wasn't sure what to say to that.

"Is that what this is about?" she asked, "Ron's okay with this. I've asked him, you've asked him, Harry's asked him and he's always had the same answer, it's a bit of a surprise but he's fine with it."

"I just don't get it." he said, "Ron was freaked out at first but within five minutes he was fine with it. He doesn't understand it but he's fine with it. So why isn't she?"

"She'll get used to it." Hermione said, "It might just take her longer then five minutes."

"Now come on." She said with a smile, "Cheer up!"

"I know what will make you feel better." She said moving closer to him.

"Oh really," He said. "And what would that b-"he was cut off by Hermione's lips on his own.

"Can't you wait until later to do that?" she Ginny asked from the doorway. "Or at least pick a different room. Some of us have to sleep in here." She was still surprised about the news but George and Hermione both seemed happy and after the way their mum had reacted, she wasn't going to make a big deal about it.

"So" Hermione said blushing at being caught. "Are things any better downstairs?"

"Not really." Harry said coming further into the room and setting down on the bed across from her. "Right now she's yelling at Bill and Charlie for letting it happen."

"Letting it happen?" George repeated angrily, "What do you mean _letting it happen_? They didn't**_ let_** anything happen. It wasn't up to them to stop me or anyone else."

"Don't yell at me." Harry said, "You asked, don't blame me for telling you the truth."

"I don't think she's upset about you two dating." Ginny interrupted, "I think she's just worried."

"Worried about what?" George asked confused.

"I'm not sure." Ginny said, "But while you were all gone Dumbledore and Snape stopped by again. I'm not sure everything that was said but from what I heard they're all really worried, especially about Hermione."

"I don't see what that has to do with anything." George said.

"You're already a target, George." Hermione said quietly, "She's probably just afraid that you being involved with me will make you an even bigger one."

"That's ridiculous." George said, "Why would she think that? You don't think that do you Hermione?" Hermione quickly looked away unwilling to meet his eyes.

"Hermione" Harry said, "George is right. He's in no more danger then he was before. The only reason you're a target is because your friends with me."

"Are you sure about that?" she asked.

"Of course I am." He said, "What are you getting at?"

"They don't know what he wants with me." She said, "It could be just to get to you or it could be something else. But by the way Remus explained it to me…The way he explained it to me it seems like it was something entirely different."

---------------------------------------------

Over the next few days Mrs. Weasley came around to the idea of George and Hermione's relationship and things were better in the house. She was nicer to Hermione and in return George was nicer to her. The last few days at the Burrow flew by sooner then any of them would have liked and the time to go back to Hogwarts was there. Mrs. Weasley had made them all a nice goodbye dinner, with several of the Order Members in attendance along with the whole Weasley family, something that hadn't happened in a long time.

Knowing that they would all have to wake up early the next morning Mrs. Weasley had sent them up to bed as soon as they were done with dinner.

"I'm glad we're going back." Ginny said her head on her hand.

"Yeah me too" Hermione said with a small smile, "But I'll be sad to see the summer end."

"This is a first" Ginny said with a laugh, "I want to go back to school and you want the summer holidays to last longer. What's wrong with this picture?"

"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked.

"Nothing," Ginny said with a smile, "I just think George may have had more of an effect on you then we all thought."

"That isn't a good is it?" Hermione laughed.

"That really depends on who you ask." Ginny said with a yawn. "Well I'm tired." she said rolling over, "Goodnight."

"Night" Hermione said lying back in bed. She had hoped that Ginny would want to stay up and talk, like she normally did. It used to annoy her because she always wanted to talk when Hermione wanted to sleep, and a majority of it had been about Harry or something that Hermione thought could have waited until the morning but ever since the dreams had started she had come to welcome the distraction.

She hated the dreams. They had started a few days after she had come for the summer holidays; her parents had found her thrashing around her bed screaming. She had tried brushing them off, saying that they were just because of what had happened in the Department of Mysteries, but she knew that wasn't true. It was just easier to believe that it was. The dreams were filled with masked men and dark flowing robes and a coldness that just couldn't be explained. There was never any happiness or hope, just the harsh truth that if anything happened to her, no one would be there to save her.

The dreams drained a lot out of her and sometimes it was as if she didn't get any sleep at all. Viktor's mother had given her some dreamless sleep potion when she had found her screaming in her sleep, but she couldn't bring herself to explain to Mrs. Weasley or anyone else why she needed it. It was just easier to pretend that they didn't happen. Easier to lie when Ginny asked her about them the next morning. Easier to pretend they didn't affect her. And that's what scared her, just how easy the lying and the pretending was.

---------------------------------

No one noticed that she was tired the next day, as they all were. The car ride to the Station was filled with the sounds of Ron and Fred's snores and even Ginny was asleep on Hermione's shoulder. But the car ride was over long before either Harry or Hermione would have liked it to be.

Usually returning to Hogwarts was like returning home for Harry but this time all he could think about was what had happened over the years. Cedric dying, Sirius dying, Voldemort returning…what if he came after Hermione too? He wouldn't be able to live with himself if that happened.

He had had a hard time after Sirius died but Hermione had been there for him. Ron had been there too, but he had been there in a different way. He had been there to play Quidditch when he needed a distraction, he had allowed Harry to blow up at him when he didn't deserve it, he had changed the subject when he noticed the ones around him upsetting Harry. He had been the friend that Harry had needed but he couldn't help like Hermione did. He didn't know how. Hermione had been there to tell him that everything would be okay. She was the one that wrote to him every week, despite her own situation. She was the one who told him that it was okay to be upset, to cry, over Sirius' death. Who would be there for him if she was taken away too? He knew that he wouldn't be able to handle it if she was taken away from him too. Too many people had been taken away because of Voldemort's vendetta against him. How could he allow this to happen to someone else?

"Harry," Hermione said, her voice bringing him out of his thoughts, "Harry we're here."

"Oh, yeah…Sorry." He said, quickly climbing out of the car to allow the rest of the kids out. The people passing watched in fascination as nine people came out of a car that would normally only sit five or six, if pushed. Harry suspected it looked something like a clown car.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley hurried them through the barrier and Mr. Weasley helped them get there things on the train as Mrs. Weasley told them goodbye. She focused more on Hermione then she normally did and Harry couldn't help but notice. She told them all to be careful and not get into trouble, as she always did, but she looked different when she was warning Hermione. He had seen that look in her eyes before; it was the look that she normally reserved for him. It was a mixture of pity and worry about things to come. Harry couldn't forget the look as they made their way onto the train.

----------------------------

"Ron and I have to go to the Prefects compartment." Hermione said turning to Harry, "Could you please take Crookshanks with you to the compartment."

"Sure." He said as she pushed Crookshanks basket into his hands.

"Thanks Harry." She said flashing him a smile causing Harry to smile back. Hermione didn't seem worried upset or worried about Mrs. Weasley's actions, maybe he shouldn't be. It wouldn't be the first time that he read into something when there was nothing there.

Harry followed Ginny in the opposite direction as Hermione and Ron, she stopped a little while ahead of him in a compartment that Neville was saving for them. Fred and George followed him in saying that everyone that they normally sat with had graduated the year before but it was pretty obvious to Harry that it was because Hermione would be setting in here when she was done with her prefect duties.

George and Fred talked quietly planning something for after the Welcoming Feast, as Ginny and Neville talked in the opposite corner about something involving Herbology and Harry watched the scenery pass by. Maybe going back to Hogwarts wouldn't be as bad as he had worried it would be.

-----------------------

Ron stumbled into the compartment mumbling something about 'bloody first years' and taking the sear next to Harry.

"Where's Hermione?" George asked quickly, noticing that he was alone.

"McGonagall had her stay after, saying she needed a word with her." He said flopping down on the seat next to Harry, "I thought she would have been back by now though. I had to patrol all by myself! Stupid first years were running all over the place. I'm making Hermione deal with them the next time." Then as if on cue Hermione's voice could be heard from the hallway.

"Thank you for walking with me Cormac." She said with a very forced smile, "But this is my compartment. I should be going in."

"It looks like there are a lot of people in there." he said looking around her, "Are you sure you don't want to come and sit in mine?"

"No." she said her voice just as strained as her smile, "I think I'll be just fine."

"Well if you change your mind-" he said.

"If she changes her mind then she'll let you know." George said suddenly appearing in the doorway. "Now if you'll excuse us, I'd like to talk to her." He said guiding her into the compartment before either of them could argue.

"Why didn't you just tell him to bugger off?" George asked closing the compartment door.

"I was trying to be polite." She said rolling her eyes, "Unlike some people."

"Well I don't like the way he was looking at you." He said.

"He isn't the only one." Ron mumbled under his breath.

"What do you mean he's not the only one?" George asked.

"Ron, I told you that was nothing." Hermione said.

"Malfoy staring at you like that isn't nothing." Ron said. Harry choked on his chocolate frog.

"Staring at her how?" Harry asked cautiously.

"He was looking at her a lot closer then he should have been, that's for sure." Ron said.

"He didn't do anything." Hermione said defensively.

"But isn't that the strange part?" Ginny asked quietly, "I mean normally he takes every opportunity to call you a…well you know what he calls you."

"Professor McGonagall was there the whole time." She said shooting Ron an angry look for bringing the subject up. "He didn't have a opportunity to say anything, once he had the chance I'm sure he'll think of some foul name to call me. We can all look forward to it." She sent them all a glare, instantly shutting them all up before grabbing George's hand and leading him back to seat.

"Hi Neville." She said setting down to next to George, "How was your summer?"

"My summer was pretty good I guess…" Neville said. He went into details describing his stay with his cousins and his trips he took with them. Hermione did her best to pay attention but her thoughts kept wandering back to the dream she had had the night before. It had been different then all the rest. One of the death-eaters' faces had stuck with her. He had hard intense eyes that held a mixture of hate and lust in them directed towards her.

Hate should be expected. She was one of Harry Potter's best friends and a Muggleborn to top it off; it wasn't surprising that they hated her. It was the lust that surprised her. Death-Eaters', the real ones or the dreams ones, shouldn't look at her like that.

"Hermione," Harry said waving a hand across her face snapping her out of her thoughts, "Hermione are you still with us?"

"Oh yes." She said her cheeks reddening in embarrassment, "I was just thinking."

"About what?" Ron asked.

"Umm…school really…I'm just happy that it's starting again."

"But I thought you said--" Ginny began only to be cut off by Hermione's glare. "So what were you saying about your cousin Neville?" Ginny asked quickly changing the subject. She didn't know what Hermione was thinking about but it was obvious she didn't want to talk about it. She just hoped her friend was okay.

------------------------------------

The train pulled into the station and Hermione and Ron hurried off the train with the rest of the prefects to help Hagrid with the first years, while Harry and the other went to save them seats in the carriages. Harry saved a place in his carriage, with Ginny and Neville, for Ron to sit while George and Fred promised to save one for Hermione.

When the carriages pulled in front of the castle a little while later, Harry quickly climbed out, looking around for Hermione to make sure she had made it in time. He spotted her laughing and smiling with George.

Harry had never had romantic feelings for Hermione, partially because he knew Ron would kill him, but when he looked over he wished that things could be like that between them. Neither of them having to worry about being the cause of the other's death, because as much as Hermione may disagree he knew that she worried that if something happened to her he would try to save her even if it meant getting killed in the process. He tried to be reassuring about it with her but he knew that he could never make that promise to her because he knew he could never keep it. He would rush to her aid just as he knew she would.

They filled into the great hall and Hermione walked away from George as he and Fred sat down next to some seventh years he couldn't remember the names of. Harry saw her glance at the staff table and then quickened her pace to get to them. "Do you see who's up there?" she said a huge smile on her face as she sat down across from them.

"I would guess the teachers." Harry said with a smile.

"_It's Remus_!" she exclaimed, "Or I guess will have to get used to calling him _Professor _Lupin again."

"I wonder why he's here," Ron said, "I mean when he left he said it was because everyone had found out about…_him_ and that information hasn't exactly been forgotten yet, has it?"

"Well it makes sense." She told them quietly, "I mean it's probably for the best to have as many members of the Order as possible and the position of the Defense against the Dark Arts teacher _is_ the hardest one to fill."

"Well I don't care why he's here." Harry said with a large smile, "I'm just glad that he is."

The sorting didn't seem to take as long as it usually did, and when Harry mentioned it Ron was the one who brought up the fact that parents were probably just being overprotective of there children since it was now known that Voldemort was on the loose. Harry hadn't thought about that before.

The feast was as huge as ever but Harry noticed that Hermione was just picking at her meal, not really eating it. "What's wrong Hermione?" he asked, "Don't you like it?"

"I'm just a little tired." She said, "Its nothing. Don't worry." She took a large bite, forcing herself to eat despite the fact she didn't feel hungry at all. She didn't want Harry to worry because she had had a bad dream.

"Now you have to deal with the first years yourself." Hermione told Ron once the feast was over.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I have to go talk with Professor Dumbledore," She explained, "Didn't I tell you?"

"No." Harry and Ron said together.

"Oh must have been George." She said with a shrug, "Well that's what Professor McGonagall was telling me on the train. I'm supposed to meet with him right after dinner."

"So I have to take care of them by myself?" he asked, "But I don't know what to do. Last year you did all the talking."

"Well I don't know. Get Ginny to help or something. Bye!" she called over her shoulder before getting lost in the crowd trying to get out of the Great Hall.

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The knowledge that Hermione and George were dating was all over the school by the next day. Hermione had made the mistake of mentioning it in front of Lavender and Parvati and they had managed to tell the whole school by this morning. "Its not like George or I have never dated anyone before." Hermione said slamming her books down next to Ron. Parvarti and Lavender hadn't given her a moment of peace this morning. They had question after question about George and her relationship, none of which she wanted to answer. "I don't know what the big deal is." She said.

"Well the guys are jealous and the girls…well there just doing what they normally do." Ron said searching his bag for his quill.

"Where were you this morning?" Harry asked, "You weren't at breakfast."

"I over slept." Hermione said quickly. "I grabbed something in the kitchens before I came here. Why would the guys be jealous?" she asked looking at Ron.

"Because you're taken." He explained, "Do either of you have a spare quill? I can't find mine."

"Here" Harry said handing Ron one of his, "It's not like you to oversleep Hermione."

"I just didn't get to bed until late." Hermione said.

"Why?" Ron and Harry asked in unison.

"Well my meeting with Dumbledore ran a little longer then I thought it would." She said absentminded, "And then I had to patrol the corridors for a little while and makes sure all of the Gryffindor girls were in there dormitories, which was harder then usual because I had to make sure that I didn't wake anyone up while I was counting them…"

"What happened with Dumbledore?" Ron asked.

"Did it have to do with the Order?" Harry asked quietly.

"No it was nothing like that." Hermione said, "Professor McGonagall's coming, I'll explain later." She said quickly grabbing her quill, ready to take notes.

"You are here because you have chosen Transfiguration." Professor McGonagall said walking to the front of the class. "This year will be much harder then the previous years and I will expect you to work much harder. We will be transfiguring harder subjects this term including each others and ourselves…"

---------------------------------------

"I didn't understand half the stuff he was talking about in there." Ron said as they walked out of Charms class.

"That's why you're supposed to read the book before you come to class." Hermione said rolling her eyes.

"Or at least skim through it." Fred said coming up next to them.

"This from the guy that hasn't cracked open a book since fifth year." George said coming up next to Hermione.

"So long time no see." George said grabbing Hermione's hand and pulling her to the other side of the hallway while the others continued.

"We did see each other at lunch." She said leaning closer to him.

"But it's hard to snog with food in your mouth." He said his face inches away from hers.

"That it is." She said kissing him quickly on the lips. He wrapped his hands around her waist pulling her closer and deepening the kiss. "But Harry and Ron…" she mumbled against his mouth.

"Will get to class fine on there own." He said before kissing her again.

Hearing someone clearing there throat they quickly broke apart. Turning Hermione could see Professor McGonagall standing there. "Professor McGonagall!" Hermione said her cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"You two should be in class." She said forcefully.

"We were just heading there Professor." George said with a smile, "Just got a bit distracted on the way."

"There is a time and a place for doing what you were doing but this is neither." She continued.

"I'm sorry Professor" Hermione said, "It won't happen again."

"I should hope not." She said, "As older students you set an example to the others on what is and isn't acceptable. As a prefect you should know this Miss Granger. Now the both you get to class before I'm forced to take unnecessary points from my own house."

Grabbing her backpack from the floor, where she had at some point dropped it, she quickly headed in the opposite direction of McGonagall heading towards her next class, Defense against the Dark Arts, with George following close behind her. "Your next class is in the other direction." She told him quietly suppressing a laugh.

"Oh" he said blushing, "Forgot about that." "See you later." He said giving her a quick peck and then heading in the opposite direction.

"Miss Granger how nice of you to join us" Lupin said as Hermione tried to come silently through the door.

"Sorry Professor." She said quickly heading towards her seat next to Harry, "I got confused to which class I had next and went to the wrong one."

"It's quite alright" he said with a small smile, "You haven't missed anything. We were just discussing the workload this class will hold this year."

"You always know what are next class is." Harry hissed at her while Professor Lupin continued talking, "Where were you really?"

"Like I said I got confused about classes." She told him through clenched teeth her eyes never leaving Lupin.

"You were with George weren't you?" Ron asked.

"Never thought I'd see the day when Hermione blew off class for a guy." Harry said with a smile.

"I didn't blow off class for some guy!" Hermione said quietly but still loud enough to get her point across, and gaining attention from those around them. "As you can see I'm_ here_!" she glared at him, "Now can we please drop the subject?"

"Professor Lupin! Professor Lupin!" a young girl, who looked to be a first year, called running into the classroom. "Peeves did something in the east corridor." She explained, "There's this weird silver gas. No one can get through."

"Well that isn't good is it?" Lupin said with a small smile. "I will be back in a few minutes." He told the class, "I will allow you to talk but are not permitted to leave or make too much noise."

"Come along" he said directing the small girl out the door, "Let's see if we can take care of this." Only seconds had passed since he had left before the class broke out talking.

"So you never did tell us what Dumbledore wanted last night." Harry said.

"Oh yeah I guess I didn't." she said, "He asked me to be a teacher's aid."

"A what?" Ron asked.

"It's like a teacher's assistant." She explained, "Only it will be for all of the professors, not just one. It's a new idea they came up with this year. They chose one sixth year and one seventh year. He's in Ravenclaw…I think Dumbledore said his name was Ted or Ed or Michael…something like that."

"So are you going to be teaching classes?" Harry asked.

"No, or at least I don't think so." She said, "It's more like I help them grade papers, clean up around the classrooms, and prepare for there classes. They divided up the teachers so that I'll have five and he'll have six, seeing as he's not a prefect. And I'll go to one of there classrooms every week night and help them with whatever they need."

"So what professors do you have?" Harry asked.

"Professor McGonagall, Professor Lupin, Hagrid… which I'm not sure how much I'm looking forward to that, Professor Vector, and Professor Snape." She said finishing quickly.

"Snape!" they both said in surprise.

"Well I didn't exactly get to choose the teacher's I'd be helping." She said rolling her eyes, "And I'm sure he needs as much help as everyone else."

"I still wouldn't want that job." Harry said shaking his head, "He'll probably have you cleaning out the caldrons every night."

"I don't think he's allowed to do that." Hermione pointed out.

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean he won't." Ron mumbled.

"If it was Harry that was going I would agree with you that that's what he would do." Hermione admitted, "But seeing as he does hate me slightly less then him, I think he'll only have me cleaning the caldrons occasionally."

"Slightly?" Ron said angrily, "If you had seen the way that he was looking at you then you'd know it was more then slightly."

"How many times do I need to tell you to just drop it?" Hermione hissed. "I did see the way he looked at me and it was no worse then anyone else in the room, including the two of you." She said causing them both to blush at being caught, "Your making trouble where you want to see it, not where it actually is. So get over it already."

Hermione didn't talk to Harry or Ron for the rest of the day, and the only reason she said across form them at dinner was because George was setting there. Halfway through the meal George finally got tired of all the silence and the nervous looks that Harry and Ron were sharing. "Okay, what's the matter with the three of you?" he asked setting his silverware down.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Hermione said taking a sip of her pumpkin juice.

"Yes you do." He said, "Why aren't the three of you talking? Do I need to hit one of them for you?"

"Ask them." She said.

"Okay…" George said realizing he wasn't going to get anything from his girlfriend.

"What did you two do?" he asked them.

"We might have…made her angry." Ron said reluctantly.

"I got that much." George said, "Do you mind explaining how you got her angry."

"The idiots brought up Snape again." Hermione said angrily.

"And you did this because…" George asked turning back them.

"We're idiots?" Harry suggested causing Hermione to give a small laugh.

"We're sorry." Harry continued, taking her laughter as a good sign and hoping that she wouldn't hex him for talking to her.

"We won't bring it up again." Ron added.

"Thank you." She said with a small smile. "Now, Ron will you please hand me the biscuits? I've been wanting one for a while I just didn't want to ask you."

"You are hopelessly stubborn." George said watching her eat the biscuit hungrily.

"But that's why you love me." She said with a smile, causing Ron to choke on his own biscuit.

"So, seeing as you weren't talking to us before, we didn't get to ask you about your other classes." Harry said trying to change the subject for Ron's sake. Dating was one thing. Love was completely different, even if it was just a flippant comment not the real thing. "Do you have a lot of homework?"

"Well I have the transfiguration essay like you guys and I want to get a head start on that essay that Rem-_Professor_ Lupin" she corrected herself, "was hinting about. And I have to translate several pages worth of runes for Ancient Runes."

"And let me guess, your going to the library after dinner to get started on it." Ron said rolling his eyes.

"Actually, I have to go around and schedule the days for my teacher's aid."

"I thought you already knew who your teachers were." George said.

"I do" Hermione explained, "But they get to choose what day they would like the best. I already talked to Hagrid and he chose Wednesday's. He has the first years the next day and he said that way he could run his lesson plans by me first, just to make sure there okay. Umbridge definitely didn't do anything to boost Hagrid's confidence in his teaching skills. I feel guilty that I'm not taking his class this year."

"At least Ron's still going." Harry said. "Right?"

"Yeah" Ron said, "It'll be a bit weird going by myself though." Ron said.

"When is your first class?" Hermione asked.

"Tomorrow afternoon I think." Ron said.

"I have Herbology then." Harry said.

"And I have Ancient Runes." Hermione said. For a minute they just looked at each other. Over the past five years they had each gone to class on their own, Hermione even going to several classes Harry and Ron weren't in, but this was different. They all knew that their schedules were different but it was as it was if there was a sudden realization that they couldn't do everything together. That they were growing up and the days of each other just being a few rooms apart were fading fast.

"We should probably visit Hagrid more this year then." Harry said, "Just so he knows we haven't forgotten about him."

"Sounds like a good idea." Hermione said standing up.

"Where are you going?" Ron asked her.

"To find Professor Vector. I'll meet you guys in the common room later." She said leaning down to give George a quick kiss.

"Must you do that now?" Ron asked, "Some of us are trying to eat."

"Would you like to see it again?" George asked grabbing Hermione's hand so she couldn't leave.

"My brother and my best friend making out, no not really." He said.

"Then I'd recommend not saying things like that to him." Hermione said cutting off whatever George was about to say, "It only encourages him." Hermione leaned down and gave George a quick peck on the cheek, then waved goodbye to Harry and Ron and was gone before anyone could tell her that Professor Vector was still at the high table.

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Hermione was able to find Professor McGonagall and Professor Vector and now, if she was lucky, she just had to find Professor Lupin. If she could find him, then she wouldn't have to go find Professor Snape, something she was not looking forward to. She knocked on the door to her classroom several times but received no response. She went to knock on the door again when she heard someone talking quietly. She hesitated before deciding to go in but decided she had already knocked several times and he obviously hadn't heard.

She followed the voice upstairs to his office where she glanced in, only to find that she couldn't see anyone. She went further into the room and realized that the voices that she had heard before were coming from the record player. She recognized what it was saying and realized that it was a book on tape. _The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts_ to be exact.

"Professor Lupin." she called again.

"Professor Lupin?" she repeated turning around only to find him asleep on the couch. It looked like he had fallen asleep while grading the summer work. There were papers scattered around him and a red quill was still in his hand. Thinking he'd probably prefer not to be woken up, Hermione decided to leave as quietly as possible. She paused at the door, unsure if she should turn off the record player. She didn't want his record to get scratched.

Startled by the sudden silence of the room, from when Hermione turned off the record player, Remus sat up, his eyes darting around the room before they landed on her. "Umm…I'm sorry…I was just going to turn it off so it didn't scratch. I probably should have just left it alone."

"No, no it's quite alright." He said running his hand through his hair.

"So I guess this explains why you weren't at dinner." Hermione said with a smile.

"Yes, well…Is it past dinner?" he asked looking at the clock.

"Yes." She said with a small laugh.

"Well then I'm glad you woke me up." He said.

"Actually I have my own reasons for that." She said holding up a piece of parchment. "I'm supposed to talk to the teachers that I'll be working with and find out what day they want me to come and help." She said setting down in one of the chairs. "I've already talked to most of the other teachers, so you really only have Monday and Friday to choose from. But the only other teacher I have left is Professor Snape, and if you pick a day he'll automatically get the other one, so I won't have to go find him." she finished with a sheepish smile.

"Understandable." He said with a laugh. "So you said Monday or Friday?" He said taking the parchment from her.

"Yeah, the other teacher's took the midweek slots." She said.

"How does Friday sound to you?" he asked signing his name next to the appropriate space.

"Sounds good." She said standing up. The floor swayed beneath her and she stumbled as everything begun to spin.

"Hermione!" Remus said, rushing over and catching her before she had a chance to fall. "Hermione, are you okay?" he asked helping her into the chair.

"Yeah…Yes I'm fine." She said shaking her head, "I just got a little dizzy that all. Nothing to worry about."

"Well it's not exactly normal." He said, "Is it?"

"No, of course not." she said quickly shaking her head. "I just skipped breakfast this morning and I didn't eat very much at lunch or dinner. I probably just need to eat something." She lied.

"I should take you to the hospital wing." He told her.

"I'm fine really" she persisted, "I really don't like going to the hospital wing and if I do go to Madame Pomfry will just tell you the same thing."

"I won't take you this time." He said skeptically. "But only if you stay and let me get you something, so I can make sure that eat something. And if I see you have another dizzy spell I will make sure you go to the hospital wing." He added, "Even if I have to do so at wand point."

"Sounds like a deal." She said with a smile.

-----------------------------------------

"Have you thought about what you want to do when you leave Hogwarts?" he asked reaching for another biscuit. They had already finished there dinner and had moved to dessert as they continued to discuss anything and everything.

"I've given it a lot of thought." Hermione told him with a smile, "I just haven't come to a decision quite yet."

"Well what have you thought about doing?" He asked with a sympathetic smile. He knew what it was like to have to choose a career. Sirius and James had known what they wanted to do by the time they were fourteen. Remus hadn't been that lucky.

"I think a better question is what _haven't _I thought of doing?" she said with a small laugh. "Harry and Ron plan on being Aurors and they keep telling me that I should do that. But I don't know…we get into enough dangerous situations as it is, it doesn't really seem like a good idea to get into a career where that's what you do all the time."

"It seems like a good enough reason not to." He agreed.

"Then I thought about becoming a Medi-witch at St. Mungo's, which I think would be a worthwhile career but I don't know, I think I'm better with books and research then I am with people."

"I have to disagree with that Hermione." He told her, "You charmed quite a few people at this school. I'm sure you'd do the same at St. Mungo's."

"While I highly doubt your speaking the truth, I'm never one to turn down a compliment, so thank you." She told him with a shy smile.

"I also considered working at the Ministry." She continued, "Professor McGonagall said that I'm everything that's usually required for an Unspeakable. However, there's not much information out there on Unspeakables, so I don't know quite what I'd be getting myself into if I chose that. Though I do have to admit the mystery is part of the appeal. That and, well finally finding out what some of the stuff we saw in there was. You know me; I never like not knowing something."

"Understandably." He said taking her hand in his own and giving it a gentle squeeze. He could tell that he was thinking about what had happened at the end of last term.

"Yeah, but I probably shouldn't choose a career just for that." She said with a embarrassed smile removing her hand from his. "I also thought of joining the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. You know maybe do some good from the inside. And well…"

"What?"

"I've also thought about becoming a professor" she said not quite meeting his eyes. She had never mentioned this to anyone before. "When I was younger, before I knew I was a witch, I always wanted to be a teacher. I thought that there was no better job. I guess the feelings have lingered."

"I think you would make a wonderful teacher." He told her. "I mean you're the reason that Neville made it as far as he did in Potions. And who knows where Harry and Ron would be if it wasn't for you? And speaking as a teacher, I don't think there is a better job."

"Good to know." She said with a smile. It was nice to know that her career ideas weren't quite as ridiculous as she sometimes thought they were. Harry and Ron were no help. Harry would tell her not to worry that she'd figure it out in the end, but not give her any advice to tell her what she should choose. And Ron would just tell her that she should become an Auror like him and Harry and not even consider doing anything else.

"Looks like we should be getting you back." Remus said glancing at the clock. He hadn't realized how late it had gotten, it was already past curfew. "I'll walk you back."

"You don't have to" she told him quickly, "I'm a prefect and the teachers usually forget to check and see who's on duty what night and just think it's me."

"Actually, I do." He said ushering her out the door, "I've kept you in here after curfew and if you run into another teacher then you'll probably end up with detention, prefect or not. But I'll have to look into that whole what prefect should be where."

"I'll have to warn the other prefects then." She told him with a smile. She liked talking to him; he actually listened to everything she said, not just parts of it.

"Did you read that book a recommended to you over the summer?" he asked as they made there way down the hallway.

"Yes, I just finished reading it actually. It answered several of the questions I had about the Dark Arts."

"Good." He said with a smile, "I was thinking of using a few things from that book for a discussion in class. You don't think it would be over the seventh years heads, do you?"

"Well I read it and understood it and I'm in Sixth year, so I think it would be fine." She told him.

"Well to be fair, you're a bit more advanced then the average seventh year." He said, "That's why I recommended the book to you. Most other students wouldn't have bothered to read it."

"Looks like were here." He said stopping in front of the Fat Lady. "Now we are going to remember not to skip anymore meals, am I correct?"

"Yes, Professor." She told him, inwardly cringing at all the lying she had been doing lately,

"Good" he said, "We don't need anymore dizzy spells."

"Goodnight Professor." She said before muttering the password and entering the Gryffindor common room. She quickly made her way over to Harry and Ron who were by the fire playing chess as Ginny watched. George and Fred were nearby, with there heads together obviously planning something. She hoped that George would remember their pact that she wanted to remain completely oblivious to all of there plans. As long as she was in the dark, she wouldn't have to feel guilty about not stopping them.

"Hey Hermione" George said giving her a kiss on the cheek, "Where have you been?"

"Uhh...I was just helping Professor Lupin. He needed some extra help with a few things for class." She lied. She didn't want them to know about the dizzy spell. She knew that she couldn't lie to them about not eating. They had been there and had seen her eat at least two full meals. But there was also a part of her that didn't want to tell them about talking to Remus. She had really enjoyed talking to him tonight, he was intelligent and witty, and he was easier to talk to then Harry or Ron, or even George. In fact she couldn't remember the last time that she had had a serious conversation with Harry or Ron that didn't have something to with Voldemort or the looming threat of war. And that kind of scared her. How far away had she drifted away from her friends, if she felt more comfortable talking to her professor then her own best friends? How far had she drifted away if the lies came much easier then the truth?

**_

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_****_A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. I love getting reviews and you all made me really happy. I'm really glad that you all like the story so far. I know there wasn't too much excitement in this chapter but things are going to get more exciting soon. I promise. It just takes a little time to get to the excitement. I'll try to get the next chapter up soon but life's kinda crazy right now so I don't really know when I'll be able too._**

**_Please Please Review! It makes me happy! _**


	5. Chapter Four: When the Sandman Comes

_**Chapter Four: When the Sandman Comes**_

_**Something's wrong, shut the light**_

_**Heavy thoughts tonight**_

_**And they aren't of Snow White**_

_**Dreams of war, dreams of liars**_

_**Dreams of dragon's fire**_

_**And of things that will bite…**_

**-Enter Sandman by Metallica**

* * *

"Hermione!" Ginny called. "Hermione, wake up!" she said shoving the curtains back. Hermione awoke to someone shaking her, gasping for breath as she came out of her dream. Ginny didn't seem to notice as she opened the curtains even further. 

"Come on Hermione, you can't sleep your birthday away." She said with a grin. "Come on, its dinner time now."

"I'll be down in a minute." Hermione said swinging her legs over the side of her bed. "I promise." She said seeing the skeptical look on Ginny's face. "I just want to change first." She said gesturing to her wrinkled uniform. "I'll meet you downstairs."

"Okay." Ginny said, "Just make sure you don't go back to sleep." She flashed Ginny a smile before turning towards her wardrobe to find something else to wear. She found her favorite sweater and a pair of jeans and threw them onto the bed. She took a deep breath as she leaned against the bed post, she hadn't slept at all last night but she still had drug herself to classes, cursing herself for not having the courage to go to Madame Pomfrey and ask for a sleeping potion. When she was finally done with her classes she had immediately come upstairs for a nap. Even she couldn't make it without sleep for two days.

Over the last month her dreams had gotten much worse. What had started out as unidentified images and darkness had slowly become more realistic. It was as if she when she slept she was transported to a different place, and never really got any sleep at all. Sometimes she was just too scared to sleep.

She quickly changed out of her wrinkled uniform and into her jeans and sweater, going downstairs to find Ginny. Instead she found an empty common room, without even the normal group of first years that were normally there. "Thanks for waiting Gin." She muttered to herself.

"SURPRISE!" The dark common-room instantly transformed. There were streamers and balloons in her favorite colors. And it seemed like all of Gryffindor was standing there smiling at her, Harry and Ron right in front.

"I can't believe you did this." She said looking around.

"Well you only turn seventeen once." Harry said coming closer to her, "We just wanted to make sure it was a good birthday."

"Or at least a memorable one." Ron said.

"Thank you." Hermione said wrapping her arms around Harry. She had missed them recently, with her full schedule and their own busy ones she felt like she had barely seen them. And for them to do this, such a sweet thing, surprised her to no end.

"Well you were so nice to me for my birthday I had to do something special for yours." Harry said as he pulled away. He was smiling down at her and she couldn't have felt happier. She had helped make him happy and that seemed like a much better gift then a party.

"And thank you Ron." She said moving over to give him a hug; he too had a big goofy grin on his face.

"No problem, Mione." He said his ears red as he pulled away. She went down along the line of friends and stopped before Fred who gave her a quick hug and a peck on the cheek, and then on to George, who was grinning down at her.

"And what's got you so happy?" she asked.

"Nothing." He said sweeping her up in a hug. "I have a surprise for you later." He whispered in her ear.

"What kind of surprise?" she asked as she pulled away.

"You'll see." He told her.

"Come on." Ginny said grabbing her arm, "The two of you will have plenty of time for that later. Right now its time for presents."

-----------------------------------

The next hour was spent as Hermione opened presents as the other Gryffindors ooed

and ahhed over everything that she got. Harry and Ron had gone in together and bought her a set of rare books on magical creatures, while Ginny had gotten her a small music box that was charmed to play whatever song she was thinking about when she opened it.

Charlie and Bill had sent her a beautiful photo-album with pictures from the beach already secured inside. Luna had given her some homemade earrings and necklace, which Hermione smiled at but mentally decided to never wear. Seamus and Dean, who said they weren't sure what to get her, gave her a large bag of sugar quills and Neville had shyly given her a beautiful red flower that was enchanted so that it never died. He had carefully avoided looking at George as he handed it to her, but she just laughed and gave him a hug knowing that George wasn't the jealous type, or at least that was what she thought until she opened her next present.

"Oh Hermione, that's beautiful." Parvarti said as she pulled the delicate charm bracelet out of the box. "Who's it from?"

"I'm not sure." She said quietly as she looked it over. It really was beautiful, it was gold with only three charms on it, a quill, a book and owl. There really weren't any charms more perfect for her.

"It really is quite lovely." Ginny said softly from over Hermione's shoulder. "George did you get it for her?"

"No." He said through clenched teeth. It was obvious he was not as fond of the present as the girls around them.

"It was probably my parents." Hermione said quickly, noticing George's abrupt change in moods. She had originally thought that it came from him. "I'll just check the card to be sure….oh."

"Oh what?" Harry asked.

"It's not from my parents."

"Well who's it from?" Ron asked.

"Viktor." She said quietly.

"Viktor? As in Viktor Krum?" Lavender asked, her voice rising at the prospect of gossip.

"I thought you two broke up ages ago." Parvarti said.

"We did." Hermione said quickly, looking at George carefully. He had a forced smile on his face and was trying his best not to look angry or upset. She hadn't expected Viktor to get her anything. They had grown a lot closer over the summer but she had imagined that once they went there separate ways things would go back to how they were the year before. Just the occasional letter, nothing more.

She carefully put it back in the box, knowing that she probably wouldn't wear it, before reaching for her next gift. She sent George a smile, noticing that he seem happier now that she had put the bracelet away.

---------------------------

"Having fun?" George asked wrapping his arms around Hermione's waist. She had been watching the crowd as the talked and laughed together. Ron was laughing with Fred and Angelina and even Harry was in the corner talking with Neville and Seamus. Everyone was having fun and she was content just to stand there watching them.

"Very much so." Hermione said leaning back, so her head was on his chest. "It's a lot of people though…"

"Yeah, it is." He said, "Everyone wanted to celebrate your birthday."

"I think it might have something to do with the fact that you and Fred smuggled in two cases of butterbeer." She told him with a laugh.

"Well then no one will mind when we sneak away."

"What are you talking about?" she asked turning around in his arms.

"You remember that surprise I was talking about?" he asked.

"Yes…" she said cautiously.

"Do you want to go see what it is?" he asked her. She smile and nodded up at him, knowing that she wouldn't be able to fight her curiosity if she had him wait until later.

"Then come on." He said taking her hand and leading her towards the portrait hole.

--------------------------

"Where are we going?" she asked as he continued to lead her down the hallways. She could have sworn that she had seen that portrait before.

"You'll see." He said from in front of her.

"Well are we almost there?" she asked, "Because if we're not I'm going to need to take a break in few minutes."

"We're almost there." He said, "I promise." A few moments later he stopped in front of a door. "Here we are." He said.

"Here?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, here." He said.

"George this is nothing more then an old classroom that no one uses anymore." She said raising an eyebrow at him.

"No, no. This is much more then any empty classroom." He said, "You'll see. Now close your eyes."

"Do I have too?" she asked reluctantly closing her eyes.

"Yes." He said coming behind her to help lead her. "Now come along…a couple more steps, just a couple more. Okay stay there while I close the door. Don't open your eyes yet…"

"Okay." He said moving so he was in front of her, "Open your eyes."

"What did you do?" Hermione said breathlessly as she looked around. He had cleared the room, vanishing the desks and in there place was a deep red picnic blanket. There were candles and a large cake and other food spread out.

"I just thought that it would be nice to have a quiet place to eat." George said, "After all you never did get that dinner that Ginny woke you up for."

"This is amazing." She said setting down across from him, "I couldn't have asked for a better gift."

"Actually, this is only part of your gift." He told her.

"Really?" she asked her smile widening. "Then what's the other part?"

"This." He said taking a small box out from behind him.

"Oh it's beautiful." She said as she pulled the small silver bracelet from the box.

"It matches your necklace." He told her quietly, "The one that your father bought for you."

"It's wonderful, thank you." She said giving him a quick kiss before trying to put it on.

"It's not as expensive as Viktor's and its not real silver…

"I love it," She told him. "Really. And like you said it matches my necklace, which I love. Really this couldn't be better."

"Your sure you like it?" he asked her. He hadn't expected Viktor to send a present and he had been even more surprised when he saw that it was so close to his own gift.

"Of course I'm sure." She said with a small laugh, "Trust me, you'd know if I didn't like it. I'm not that good of a liar."

--------------------------------

"Hermione you have a bit of icing there." George said.

"Where?" Hermione asked wiping her mouth.

"Right here." He said putting a bit of icing on the tip of her nose.

"George!"

"What?" he asked trying to appear innocent. "Oh look you still have a bit of icing there." he said.

"Really, I wonder how it got there?" she asked him.

"Well I think I can help you get rid of it." He said moving closer to her, a large smile on his face, perfectly content to remove the icing with his lips. He was only a few inches away from her when she moved her hand suddenly distracting him. The next thing he knew his face was covered chocolate frosting.

"There, much better." She said licking the frosting off her fingers, "Now we match."

"Match?" he asked, "I don't think we match." He said gesturing to the small amount of frosting still on her nose. "However I can fix that." He said quickly swiping his hand over the cake, coating it in frosting.

"George….Now you don't really want to do that, now do you?" Hermione asked slowly backing away from him.

"Oh, that's where you're wrong, I most certainly do." He said continuing to back her into the stone wall. He almost had her trapped in a corner when she ducked under his arm and ran to the other side of the room, laughing loudly.

"So it's like that is it?" he asked turning around. He found her with cake in her hand ready to attack if necessary.

"That's exactly how it is." She said with a smile. George came towards her, moving quickly. Hermione let out a small squeak of surprise before trying to run to the right. But George was faster; he put an arm around her waist pulling him towards him. She let out a giggle as he turned her around.

"You look absolutely beautiful." He told her, running the hand covered in frosting down the side of her face. "And tasty too." He said.

She blushed under the frosting but moved closer to him instead of farther away. "Is that so?" she asked.

"Yes, it most certainly is." He said before his lips captured hers. He tasted of chocolate cake and butterbeer. She pulled back grabbing his hand and leading him over to the blanket, pulling him down to the ground with her.

"What are you doing?" he asked her.

"Having fun." She said brushing her lips against her own, "Would you like me to stop?" she asked pulling away, a smile on her lips.

"No." he said quickly, "I mean not in less—"

"I don't know about you, but I don't want to stop." She said pulling him down for another kiss.

"But—"

"George, aren't I suppose to be the one to over analyze everything?" she asked with a smile.

"Well usually…" he agreed.

"Then stop worrying." She told him. She brushed her lips against his, gentle and loving. She pulled back, staring into his bright eyes. "I won't do anything I don't want. You know that." He smiled back at her before pulling her in for a kiss, this one much harder then before. She pulled herself closer to him, as close as she could without breaking the kiss. She hadn't felt this happy in a long time. She had felt this much emotion in a long time. She didn't want to think about it, she just knew that she didn't want it to end. She just wanted to be with him for as long as she could. She didn't want to go back to an empty dorm room, to an empty bed. She just wanted someone there, someone who could make her feel just a little less alone.

-------------------------------------------

"Hello Harry." Remus said as he came into his office.

"Professor Lupin." He said.

"I think it's alright if you call me Remus when we're not in class." He told him.

"Well then, hello Remus." Harry said with a small smile.

"What can I do for you today?" Remus asked as Harry took the seat across from him.

"I was just hoping we could…you know, talk." Harry said.

"Of course Harry." Remus said, "Would you like some tea? Or maybe some biscuits?"

"No thanks." Harry said looking down at his hands. He wanted to talk; he just wasn't sure what to say.

"Anything particular that you wanted to talk about?" Remus asked him, "Or did you just come for the company?"

"Both I guess…" Harry said, "I just…Has Hermione been acting odd to you?"

"You came here to talk about Hermione?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well no…and yes." He said standing up and going over to the window. He didn't know where to even start. "I still have nightmares." He blurted out. "Not like last year, not like that. But about what happened…Sometimes there about Sirius, sometimes there about Hermione or Ron, or even Ginny. They could have died Remus and it would have been all my fault. Sirius did die…"

"Sirius' death was not your fault." Remus told him. "Bellatrix killed him, not you. She's the one that has to live with that, you have nothing to feel guilty for."

"But if I just listened to Hermione then none of it would have happened. If I had just done what she had said, if I had worked harder on my Occlumency training, if I had went to someone else instead of trying to handle it myself…"

"What happened there was not your fault Harry, and neither is this thing with Hermione." Remus told him. Harry looked up at him, the guilt obvious in his eyes. It was what he had been thinking; he just didn't think Remus would have been able to pick up on it.

"Harry people choose to be with you because they love you. Sirius died the way he would have wanted to, in battle trying to protect you. He loved you, Hermione loves you."

"I know that." Harry said, "I just don't want Hermione to end up where Sirius did."

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After going upstairs and trying unsuccessfully to sleep for hours, Hermione had finally just given up. Walking around seemed like a much better idea then just laying there, staring at the ceiling. She hoped that it would tire her out, so when she returned she could sleep, and it would give her some time to think by herself. It seemed like lately there was always someone around her. Harry and Ron, George, Neville wanting help with homework, Parvarti and Lavender always asking questions about George…there was always someone there and there was always something to do. She had made sure that there was _always_ something to do.

If she got caught she could just claim that she was on the way to the hospital wing because she didn't feel well. It wouldn't be that big of a lie. She might not feel sick but she didn't feel right exactly either. She didn't think that she felt completely right since last term. She wasn't so sure she had felt alright then.

She turned another corner only to realize she wasn't anywhere near she had intended to be, in fact she didn't recognize this part of the castle at all. The hallway was completely dark, as the moon went under a cloud and the only light was coming from the bottom of a closed door further down the hall. She almost turned around, but she couldn't bring herself to break her gaze. There was something important in that room, she was sure of it.

Suddenly there was a chill and Hermione quickly made her way over to the door. She could sense the danger without having to look behind her. If she could just make it to the room she was sure that everything would be okay. That _she_ would be okay. She wasn't sure why and she wasn't sure how, she just knew that it would be.

She was suddenly scared as she placed her hand on the doorknob. What would happen if she couldn't open it? What if it was locked? She had to find out what was in there. Whatever it was, it was important and she had to see what it was.

As if on command the door suddenly opened and she cautiously made her way in the room, looking around. It appeared to be completely empty except for one thing. She instantly recognized it as the Mirror of Erised. After Harry had told her about it in first year she had read as much about it as possible. The mirror was to reflect your heart's deepest desire. Harry's desire had been to been to have his parents here with him. Ron's desire had been to be equal to his brothers. She had often wondered what her desire would be. She slowly walked over to the mirror with her eyes closed bracing herself for whatever she was about to see. Whatever it was it wasn't real, she reminded herself. Or at least it wasn't yet.

She slowly opened her eyes to see herself face to face with herself and no one else. She looked exactly the same, from the confused expression on her face right down to the school robes that she was still wearing. This can't be right, she told herself, maybe she was wrong and this wasn't the mirror of Erised. Maybe it was just a mirror. Suddenly the girl in the mirror moved, watching Hermione closely, as if summing her up. She saw herself raise her right arm, smiling condescendingly at Hermione, and began to roll up the sleeve.

Hermione stumbled back as she saw what was on her arm. She had only seen it a few times before, but she had never been able to forget it. No one could forget something like that, something that represented so much evil. But this was wrong, so wrong. This wasn't supposed to be what she saw. She was supposed to be seeing herself being the top of her class or getting the highest N.E.W.T scores ever rewarded. Not this. Not her with the Dark Mark on her arm. Not her standing there, looking like Christmas had come early because she had joined the ranks of a mad man. This wasn't what she wanted. It couldn't be.

"Oh but it is." Her reflection said with a laugh all too familiar to her ears. "You can't deny what's right in front of your face."

"No…no, this isn't right. Something must be wrong." She said, shaking her head. "This must not be the Mirror of Erised; it must be some other mirror…"

"This is what you really want." Her reflection repeated, "This is what you have always wanted, you just never realized it. This is your deepest desire."

Suddenly Hermione was jerked back in the common room. Her head was spinning as she focused on Harry and Ron looking down at her concerned, George still shaking her, making sure she was fully awake.

"What…what's going on?" she asked.

"You fell asleep." George told her. "You were having some sort of a nightmare."

"You kept mumbling about how somebody was wrong. That everything was wrong." Harry said, "What were you dreaming about?"

"Oh, umm…To be honest," she started but then stopped. Could she tell them the truth? What would they think about her if they told her about it? She wasn't even sure what to think about it. "To be honest I really don't remember. Um, I think it was something about heights or something." She smiled up at them, seeing Harry and Ron's relieved faces and George's skeptical one. He had talked to Charlie and Ginny; he knew this wasn't just some bad dream. He had seen the haunted looks in the morning. Something was eating away at her and it was about time she let someone help.

-------------------------------------

"George I told you, it was nothing!" Both Harry and Ron's head snapped up as Hermione's voice rang through the common-room.

"Its not nothing and you know that." George's voice came. Harry looked around and noticed they weren't the only ones listening in. You could hear Hermione and George arguing throughout the entire common-room.

"What do you think their yelling about?" Ron asked. It looked to Harry as if he was trying to suppress a smile.

"Not sure." Harry said as Ginny came up next to them, moving closer so she could hear what was going on.

"I can handle this myself George." Hermione's voice came again, "I don't need you thinking that you need to play knight in shining armor. I was dealing perfectly fine with it before we started dating and I'll continue to now, _without_ your help."

A moment later Hermione stalked into the common-room, glaring at everyone who looked in her direction.

"Hermione, this isn't some essay you need to work out, this is your life." George said following her into the room.

"Do you not know how to take a hint?" Hermione said spinning back around.

"I know how to take a hint." He said, "You however don't know how to accept help."

"That's because I don't need it." She yelled back, "If you could just get that through that thick head of yours, then we wouldn't be having this problem."

"Oh I have a thick head do I?" he asked, "Well I guess that's better then having yours. Is fun being the teachers pet in all your classes? Having _all_ the teachers like you so much?"

It was unclear to the rest of the room but Harry and Ron knew what he was talking about. _Who_ he was talking about. It was a low blow; one they both knew would upset Hermione.

"At least I can pass all of my classes." Hermione said, "I got eleven O.W.L.'s. How many did you get?"

"That's what I thought." She continued when all she received was a dirty look.

"The amount of O.W.L.s you got doesn't make you smarter then me." He told her.

"No there are plenty of other things that do." She said defensively. She instantly wanted to take it back at the look of hurt on his face but it was almost instantly replaced with a look of anger.

"There are more important things the how intelligent you are." He said, "Like friends and family."

"Don't throw your family in my face George." Hermione said.

"Why? We all know how fond of it you are." He said looking towards Ron.

"Just grow up, George." She said fighting back the sudden onset of tears. He was throwing everything that she had trusted him with right back into her face. She turned and headed out of the common-room. Not knowing where she was going, but knowing that she didn't want to go back.

Ginny quickly followed after her, telling Harry and Ron to wait there. "Hermione probably won't want to see you guys right now." She told them.

George quickly made his way back to the boy's dormitory, Fred following slowly after. He didn't look forward to what would happen when he got up there. "I wonder what they were arguing about." Ron said, "I mean its takes a lot for Hermione to get that angry."

"I know." Harry said, "I can't believe she called him out on his O.W.L. scores."

"I can believe he mentioned Snape." Ron said quietly. He could hear the people around him discussing the fight around them. "I mean I know he didn't actually mention him by name but—"

"It was pretty clear who he was talking about." Harry said. "He never has liked her going to Professor Snape's classroom alone for her teacher's aid duties. He always walks her down or makes sure that one of us does."

"You can't really blame him for that." Ron said. "I'm not happy with her going down there either."

"I know, but Hermione's already told us all to stop bringing it up." He said.

"True. I certainly wouldn't want to be to be in George's shoes right now." Ron said, this time he wasn't able to suppress his smile. "I told you that they wouldn't last very long."

"They didn't break up Ron." He told him, "They just got into a fight."

"Like Hermione's going to get back together with him now." Ron said, "They may not have said the actual words, but I think we both know what's going to happen."

Harry was still skeptical, but decided not to push it. He didn't think that they were breaking up, but he didn't want Ron angry with him right now. "I guess will just see what happens." he said.

The portrait hole opened up and Harry and Ron turned to see Ginny coming back in alone. She made her way over to them, ignoring the curious looks of the others in the room who had seen her go after Hermione.

"Where's Hermione?" Ron asked as she sat down beside him.

"She said she was going to take a walk and try to calm down." Ginny said.

"Did she tell you what happened?" Harry asked.

"Not really." She said, "She just said he was being stupid and making a big deal out of nothing. She didn't really give me a lot of details but…"

"But?" Harry asked.

"I don't think that it was just about George." Ginny said, "I think she was more upset over what they were arguing about."

--------------------------------

Hermione was unusually quiet the next day. She sat as far away from George at the table as possible and buried herself in the library whenever she didn't have a class. And even in class she didn't raise her hand or answer a question unless she was called upon. She barely even seemed phased when Snape took ten points for not paying attention and she stayed quiet, instead of reminding Harry and Ron when to put in their ingredients. Harry had intended to ask her about what had happened after class but Professor Snape kept her after class and he didn't see her again until dinner. She was unusually quiet then too.

"I need to get to Hagrid's." Hermione said quietly standing up from the table. "I'm supposed to help him with his lesson plans for tomorrow."

"I'll come with you." Harry said standing up quickly. This would give him the chance to talk to her that he had been waiting for her.

"You don't have to." Hermione told him quickly.

"I want to." He said, "I haven't seen Hagrid for a while. I'm sure he wouldn't mind me stopping from for a couple of minutes."

"Alright…" she said. "You coming too Ron?"

"No, you two go." He said, "I have to finish my essay for Potions. I forgot to do it." He had actually done it earlier that day but Harry and he had both agreed that they should talk to Hermione alone when one of them got the chance. It was probably better that it was Harry anyway. He wouldn't be sure what to do if she started crying and Harry had already made him promise that he wouldn't gloat in front of her about the fight. No matter how much he wanted too.

"I need to stop by my room first." Hermione said, "I forgot to get the books that I'll need."

"No problem." Harry said following her out of the hall. He could feel George's eyes on them as they left.

They made their way silently through the halls as Harry tried to find away to broach the subject of Hermione's fight with George without her blowing up at him.

"So, Hermione…" he started.

"I'm fine." She said sending him a tired smile. "It was just a stupid fight."

"It wasn't stupid if it got you this upset Hermione." Harry said.

"It was my fault." She said shaking her head. "I pushed him and I knew I shouldn't have. He has a temper just like Ron's…I was just upset and he wouldn't leave it alone and the next thing I knew, we were hurling insults at each other...I guess its better then hexing each other though."

"Hermione, what did he mean when he said that something's were more important, like family?"

"It's nothing."

"It got you even more upset." He said, "I could tell."

"I mentioned once that I was jealous of him having such a large family. Of him having a magical family….I just didn't expect him to throw back in my face." She told him. "But its not like I didn't deserve it, I practically called him stupid in a room full of people. We both said things we didn't mean."

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Harry asked as they stopped in front of the Fat Lady.

"I'm fine Harry." She told him. "I promise." She said quickly turning to face the portrait. She didn't want to lie to his face, and truth was she wasn't fine. She was far from fine. Everything was crashing down on her and the fight with George was just making it worse. She kept telling herself that she could handle this herself, but she only managed to believe it half the time. She didn't know how she could make anyone else believe it.

"I'll be right back." She said muttering the password. She came back a few minutes later, her backpack slung on her shoulder and two more books in her hands.

"Here I'll take those." He said taking them out of her hands before she could protest. They made there way down the halls talking about nothing in particular, nothing of importance but Harry didn't mind. He felt like he was getting his friend back. Hermione felt the drain in every word she said. She felt the hurt in every thing that she didn't say.

"Everyone should be in the Great Hall or their dormitories." A voice came from behind them. The spun around to see Cho Chang standing there, her Head Girl badge glimmering in the light.

"Oh, hi Cho." Harry said awkwardly. He had only seen her from a distance so far this year, but each time had felt incredibly uncomfortable. He wasn't sure how to handle this type of a situation, he never was.

"Harry, Hermione." She said Hermione's name with such venom that Hermione felt the urge to step back.

"Hello Cho." Hermione said in her friendliest tone, "Congratulations on making Head Girl. You've been doing a great job, meetings haven't lasted half as long as they did last year, which is appreciated by everyone."

"Thanks…I guess." Cho told her. "So where are you going Harry?" she asked turning towards him, "Your really not supposed to be out here right now. The Headmaster says we're supposed to be stricter about students wandering the halls."

"I was just walking Hermione down to Hagrid's." He explained, "She's supposed to help him with tomorrow's lessons."

"Oh but I thought…well I guess it doesn't surprise me." She said her tone changing as she looked Hermione over.

"What doesn't surprise you?" Hermione asked. She had been acting civil until Harry had said that.

"That you're dating George and Harry at the same time." She told her, "I mean you did it with Harry and Krum in your fourth year."

"Hermione would never—" Harry began angrily.

"Don't worry about it Harry." Hermione said putting a hand on his elbow, "She's going to believe what she wants too."

"I don't hear you denying it." Cho told her.

"And here I was thinking Ravenclaws were supposed to be smart." Hermione told her.

"I am smart!"

"Then use that pretty little brain of yours to figure out that there isn't now nor has there ever been anything going on between me and Harry." Hermione said.

"She's right Cho." Harry told her, "Come on Hermione, we don't want to be late." As he turned back, he didn't miss the look on Cho's face.

-------------------------------

"Miss Granger, please stay after class." Remus said as she stood up collecting her books.

"Yes Professor." She said as she continued to pack her bag.

"Do you want us to wait for you?" Ron asked.

"No, you guys have Quidditch Practice." She said, "I'll be fine. It's just Remus."

"You sure?" Harry asked.

"Of course Harry." She said with a smile. She didn't know what had gotten into him lately, but he seemed like he felt the need to walk her everywhere. She figured that he was just being protective because of the fight. It was sweet, but incredibly annoying at the same time.

She finished packing her bag, as Ron and Harry left and made her way up to Remus' desk. "You wanted to see me, Professor."

"Yes, I did." He said, "Let's go upstairs to my office. I for one would like some tea."

"George didn't tell you to talk to me, did he?" she asked as she sat down across from him.

"No." he said pouring them each a cup of conjured tea.

"And Harry didn't either?"

"No." he said, "Should they have?"

"No, I just thought they might have told you about the…" she said not quite meeting his eyes.

"Fight?"

"You know about that?"

"Harry mentioned it." He said, "He said both of you said some not so nice things."

"Yes, well the Weasley's have never been known for their mild tempers and neither have the Grangers. We're more the take the defensive and worry about the repercussions later type in my family. But I doubt you asked me in here to talk about my relationship with George, or lack of one at the moment."

"Your right." He said, "I was hoping to speak with you about Harry."

"Harry?" she asked, "Has he done something wrong?"

"No, not that I know of." He said with a laugh, "Anything you'd like to confess to?"

"No." she said smiling.

"Good." He said setting his cup down, "I did want to talk about Harry though. I was wondering if you had noticed anything…different about him lately."

"You mean since Sirius…died?" It was still hard to bring herself to say it.

"Yes." He said.

"Different is a way to put it I guess." She said, "He's much quieter then he usually is, much more withdrawn. He spends most of his time with Ron, and sometimes Neville but he doesn't hang around with the other boys as much as he used to. Only at Quidditch really….And, and he's dealing with it differently too."

"What do you mean?"

"After Cedric died, he didn't like to talk about but he still dealt with it. He let his emotions out other ways. They weren't always healthy ways, especially for me and Ron who normally received the grunt of it, but he still was working through it. He had accepted it. It seems like now…he's just avoiding it completely."

"I see." Remus said.

"And I've tried to help." She continued, "And so has Ron. I've told him I'm here. I told him its okay to be upset, that it's okay to be angry but he just nods his head and it doesn't change anything. He gets this horribly blank look in his eyes, like he doesn't even care…"

Hermione didn't even realize that she was crying until Remus handed her his handkerchief. "I'm sorry." She said wiping at her eyes, "You wanted to talk about Harry, not hear me blubbering."

"It's quite alright Hermione." He told her, "You have every right to be worried about Harry. Just keep doing what your doing, be his friend, let him know your there for him. That's all we can do. Eventually everything will be okay, I promise."

"Okay." She said.

------------------------------

Hermione stayed in Remus' office a little while longer, just talking and trying to calm herself down. She didn't want to go back to the common room looking like she had just cried. The last thing she needed was anymore rumors going around then there already were.

"I should get going." She said looking at the clock, "I wanted to stop at the library to work on an essay before dinner and I have to be at Professor McGonagall's office by seven."

"Are you sure you'll have time for all that?" He asked, "That seems like a lot."

"Oh, yes." Hermione said, "I like to keep busy, and the essay's not due for two weeks, I just want to get a head start on it."

"Just make sure you don't over work yourself." He told her, "I know you have a lot going on this year."

"Don't worry, I won't." she said with a smile. She grabbed her bag off the floor and gave a little wave before hurrying out of his office and down the stairs. She had stayed longer then she should have to get as much of a head start as she had wanted on her essay, but she wasn't going to tell him that. In fact it was nice to just set and talk. She would have to make some time in her schedule so that she and Harry and Ron could just to talk and have fun. It seemed like forever since she had just sat and played a game of chess with Ron. She would have to try to make more time from them, even if sometimes it hurt to be around them. She hated lying to them, and that's how she felt every time she remembered that she was keeping things from them, even if she was doing it for their own good.

She walked out of the door to see George leaning against the stone wall, his backpack on the floor beside him. "Hey." He said stepping forward.

"Hi." She said quietly.

"Stayed behind to talk to Professor Lupin again?" he asked.

"Yeah, he had a couple questions for me." She said, "And you know me, as resident teacher's pet I couldn't really tell him no."

"Hermione…"

"I'm sorry." She said quickly, "I didn't mean to bring that up." She hadn't meant to be so defensive, but what he had said had really upset her. She knew that a lot of people thought of her that way, thinking that she was nothing more then a suck-up, but she was always confident that the people she cared about knew that she worked hard for her grades, that she deserved them. For him to say that, made her question how everyone looked at her.

"Yeah, well that's what I came to talk to you about." He said, "I shouldn't have done what I did and I'm sorry Hermione. I finally got you trust me, to tell me about your dreams, about everything and then I go and ruin it. And to top it all of I insulted you in front of the entire common-room—"

"I did my fair share of insulting too." Hermione said. "There were two of us fighting George; I wasn't just standing there letting you yell at me. I was egging you on."

"Still, I was the one who started the argument. I was the one who wouldn't just let you go when you tried to leave the first time." He said, "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too." She told him.

"So…does this mean you'll go down to dinner with me?" he asked a hopeful look upon his face.

"Yeah, I think I can manage that." She said.

"That's an answer a man always likes to hear." He said with a grin.

--------------------------

Harry and Ron followed the rest of the Gryffindor quidditch team into the Great Hall. Practice had taken longer then Harry had thought it would and they were all tired and hungry. But there first match was with Slytherin and Harry wanted to make sure that nothing stood in there way to victory. He had even enlisted Fred and George to help train the new beaters. Only Fred had shown up this time though, he had said that George had something to take care of and nothing more. Ron figured that they were working on some sort of a prank but Harry had his own ideas of to what he was doing. They were confirmed when he saw him setting next to Hermione, his arm around her waist.

"Hey guys." Ginny said setting down across from them.

"Hello." Hermione said, "How was practice?"

"Brilliant." Fred said setting down on the other side of George, "Ginny here is a beater to be proud of. Takes after us this one does, George."

"Well she couldn't have chosen a better role model." George said causing Hermione to giggle into her drink, "I mean she could be taking after Percy."

"I shutter at the thought." Ginny said with a smile.

"How's the rest of the team shaping up?" George asked.

"Pretty good." Harry said, "We still need to work a few things out. The new Chaser still need a little work but Angelina and Katie promised to help her out and we're scheduled to practice again Friday. I think we'll have a pretty good chance of winning the game."

"I'm sure you guys will win." Hermione said with an encouraging smile. Quidditch really wasn't important to her, but she had learned a long time ago not to complain about it in front of this many fans, it only ended with them trying to convert her. So far it hadn't worked.

"So where were you, George?" Ron asked finally speaking up. Harry didn't like the look on his face. "Weren't you supposed to be with Fred, helping with Ginny and the other beater?"

"The other beater has a name you know." Ginny interjected. Just because she was dating him, didn't mean that he could completely ignore him. Ron had actually liked him before she had started dating him; of course he had liked a lot of guys before she had started dating them.

"Yeah, whatever." Ron said, "He still wasn't there."

"I was going to." George said, "But finding Hermione took longer then I thought it would. It was a half in hour before I found someone who told me more then to look in the library…really, as if I hadn't already looked there."

"So you two are back together?" Ginny asked.

"I'd like to think we just had a temporary disagreement." Hermione said.

"Sounds right to me." George said with a smile. Harry and Hermione both tried not to notice the upset look on Ron's face.

**

* * *

****A\N: Hey everyone! I'm not particularly fond of this chapter and I think I ended it at a kind of weird place, but I'm going out of town and I wanted to get it posted before I left, so hopefully you all like it. And hopefully it gives you all a better understanding about the dreams and what's going on in Hermione and a little bit of Harry's minds. I'm not great at the whole fluff and romance thing, so I don't know how well I did that, so I'm sorry if that part was horrible. I'll work on it and try to get better. **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed! You're all so nice and I always love getting them. I'll try to post the next chapter soon but I don't know when I'll have the chance between school ending and vacation. The same goes for my other two stories. **

**Please Please Review!!!**


	6. Chapter Five: Masquerade

_**Chapter Five: **__**Masquerade**_

"_So here we are_

_Fighting and trying to hide the scars_

_I'll be home tonight_

_Take a breath and softly say goodbye_

_A lonely road_

_The one that I should try to walk alone_

_I'll be home tonight_

_Take a breath and softly say goodbye"_

_**--Here We Are**_

_----_

As September turned to October each house awoke to find a bulletin posted announcing a Halloween Ball. The buzz was immediate throughout the school; girls chattering about what to wear, third years complaining about not being able to go, some excited about the first ball since the Tri-wizard tournament and some wondering if it wasn't just some big joke.

"I for one hope it's a joke." Ron said. "Padma just started looking at me again after what happened at the last ball, I really don't need another ball to screw up."

"I'm sure you'll be fine if there's another one." Hermione told him as she sat down across from him.

"I'm just hoping that I don't need to dance." Harry said as he began piling food on his plate.

"Yeah, no one needs to see that again." Ron said with a laugh.

"At least he tried." Hermione said, "It's more then you can say. And you really weren't that bad at it Harry. It was just a difficult dance."

"You didn't have such a hard time with it." Harry told her.

"Yes, well…I didn't have to lead." Hermione said blushing

The Great Hall quieted in anticipation as Dumbledore stood. Everyone was waiting to hear what Dumbledore said about the prospect of a Halloween Ball.

"Good morning everyone." He said, "As I'm sure all of you have heard by now, bulletins have been posted in each of the houses announcing a Halloween Ball. This is not a joke. The Head Boy and Girl approached me a few weeks ago about the idea of another Ball this year and I thought that it was an excellent idea."

"So this Halloween, along with the annual Halloween Feast, we will be holding a masquerade ball." Dumbledore continued.

The silence was broken at the announcement that this would be a masquerade. It made it that much more exciting.

"Everyone should have adequate time to reach Hogsmeade to get a costume before then, but if you are unable to both Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick have volunteered to help students transfigure their own. Just make an appointment to see them. Any other question should be able to be answered by your Head boy and Girl, thank you."

---------------------------------

The next two weeks before the Hogsmeade weekend were filled with talks about costumes and discussions about who was going with who. Lavender Brown was going with Seamus Finnegan. Padma Patil was going with Michael Corner. Neville was going with Luna Lovegood.

"Still don't know how that one happened." Ron said as they trekked towards Hogsmeade, "I mean Neville and Luna? That makes about as much sense as me and Lavender."

"Luna's a nice girl." Hermione said, "She's a bit…_odd_ sometimes….well most of the time, but she's a nice girl and that's good for Neville. He deserves someone nice."

"I guess its better then him going with Ginny again." Ron said.

"Especially considering she has a boyfriend." Harry told Hermione with a grin. Ron still seemed to be in denial over that.

"So where are we going first?" Harry asked as they reached the entrance to the town, "The Three Broomsticks?"

"Actually…" Hermione said causing them to look at her, "I was thinking we could go to Madame Malkin's, she's supposed to be carrying a whole bunch of costumes for the Ball."

"Oh come on Hermione." Ron groaned, "I don't want to spend my whole trip looking for some stupid costume."

"It won't be your whole trip I promise." She said as she started towards the shop.

"Oh come on, you didn't drag us along with you the last time we had a ball and you looked great." Ron exclaimed as he followed her, "Why do we have to this time?" Hermione blushed at the compliment and glanced at Harry who was shaking his head at his friends. Something's never changed.

"Ginny came with me last time." She told him, "And I would have asked her, but we barely see each other lately. Please, it'll just take a few minutes and while I'm changing you guys can look around for your own costumes. You still need to find yours."

"She's right." Harry said, "I for one don't want to have to ask Professor McGonagall for help."

"I guess." Ron said as he followed them through the door.

"Go ahead Hermione." Harry told her. "Will be out here waiting to tell you what we think. But remember, we _are _guys and as you tend to point out we can be _insensitive warts._" He said mimicking Hermione.

"Thanks Harry." She said with a large smile before walking over to the woman behind the counter who shortly handed her a bag over the counter.

"Come on Ron." He said, "I'm sure there's something in here that we can get."

"You know that Hermione impression is kind of scary mate." Ron said, "The last thing we need is two of her..."

Harry and Ron searched for costumes fifteen minutes and there was still no sign of Hermione. "Do you think she got lost or something?" Harry asked scanning the large store.

"No, I just think she has a different definition of short amount of time then the rest of the world." Ron said, "I'm going to go look for her, can you hold my costume?"

"Sure." Harry said.

Five minutes later Harry got tired of waiting by himself and went searching for whoever he could find first. He heard Ron before he saw him. "Come on Hermione!" Ron called through the dressing-room door, "We don't have all day!"

"Okay…just be nice but honest." She said nervously back.

"We promise Hermione, just come out here." Harry said coming up next to Ron.

"Okay…" The door slowly opened revealing a nervous looking Hermione wearing a long black gown with dark wings magically attached to the back.

"I'm not quite sure about it." She said stepping in front of the mirror, "The idea is that George would go as the devil, which is…well perfect for him, and I would go as his dark angel."

"But I don't know…Do you think it looks alright?" She asked turning to look at them.

Harry wasn't quite sure what to say as he looked at her. She looked beautiful as she stood there in her ball gown, somehow managing to look confident despite how nervous she was. There was something different about her he realized. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it was as if…if she had grown up while him and Ron had stayed the same.

------------------------------

"Are you sure it looked alright?" Hermione asked as they exited the store.

"For the millionth time, yes Hermione." Harry said.

"I'm sorry, I just want to be sure." Hermione said.

"How about we head over to the Three Broomsticks now?" Ron suggested.

"Actually I need to stop by the bookstore." Hermione said.

"_Hermione_" Ron groaned, "I thought you said we were done."

"You and Harry are." She said with a smile, "I'll go by myself and meet you guys there."

"You sure?" Ron asked, though he sounded as though he would be greatly disappointed if she said otherwise.

"Yes, I'm sure." She said with a laugh. "I shouldn't be too long, just save me a seat."

"Should we save George a seat too?" Harry asked.

"No, he and Fred went to check on there shop. They should be gone all day." She said, "It's just the three of us unless you guys invited someone."

"No." Ron said quickly. He seemed to perk up after hearing that George wasn't going to be there all day. "It's just the three of us. You sure you don't want us to come with you?"

"No, I'll meet you guys there in about fifteen minutes…maybe a little more." She said as she turned and began walking towards the bookstore.

"Knowing her that means she'll meet us there in two hours." Ron muttered as he followed Harry in the opposite direction.

----------------------------

Hermione sighed as she sniffed the air of the bookstore; it always smelled of fresh parchment despite the age of many of the books. She always loved that smell, it made her feel welcomed and content and all she had to do was walk in the door.

"May I help you Miss?" the man behind the counter asked.

"Oh no, I know what I'm looking for." She said before heading towards the potion section. Recently Professor Snape had been having her help brew potions, it wasn't much just usually her handing him ingredients or stirring for him while he was grading papers, but it was something. She was hoping if that she learned more about the subject he would let her help more like the other teachers did. Professor McGonagall already had her helping grade first year essays and Hagrid and Remus were both always asking her opinions on their lessons and future plans. She didn't think that Professor Snape would ever trust her or like her that much, but he at least might let her brew a potion by herself if she showed the aptitude for it.

"Healing potions…Healing Potions…" she muttered as she scanned the shelf. "Healing Potions!" she exclaimed as she found it on the top shelf. She quickly grabbed for it, opening it almost immediately, before she began walking down the aisle and straight into one of the other customers, knocking them both over.

"Oh I'm so sorry." She said setting up. She had sent all of his books and him sprawling across the floor. "I wasn't paying any attention and I didn't see you at all." She rambled as she began restacking his books, "I always do this. Ron's been warning me for ages that I'm going to run into a wall while reading a book someday…not that you're a wall, I just mean—"

"It's quite alright Miss" The man said putting his hand over hers; stopping her from collecting any more books. "I wasn't looking where I was going myself."

"I really am sorry." She said finally looking at him. He seemed to be in his mid-thirties, with dark brown hair pulled back into a pony-tail and pale eyes that seemed vaguely familiar to her, though she couldn't figure out why.

"I got that." He told her standing up and offering his own hand, "I accept your apology and offer one of my own."

"Thanks." She said as he helped her up.

"Well isn't that something." He said pulling her wrist towards him slightly. He seemed to be examining her bracelet.

"My brother and I are looking for an anniversary present for his wife, poor bloke's horrible at it, and she would love something like this." He said examining the bracelet more closely.

"Oy, Rod! Rod!" he said calling over another man from the other side of the store. "Don't you think that Belle would love something like this?" he asked holding up Hermione's wrist.

"She'd be absolutely mad over it." The other man said walking over. He too looked eerily familiar, though Hermione didn't know where she would have met them before. Maybe they were just locals or they did there shopping a lot at Hogsmeade. "Where did you get this, Miss…"

"Hermione. My name's Hermione, but I'm sorry, it was a birthday present from my boyfriend." Hermione told him, "I don't know where he got it."

"Well is your boyfriend here?" he asked looking around, "I hate to be a bother, but Bella is a pain to shop for."

"No, George is checking in on his shop in Diagon Alley." She said, "He won't be back all day."

"Diagon Alley, you say?" Rod asked.

"Yes..." she said.

"There you are Hermione." Remus said coming up beside her; she hadn't even realized that he was in the shop as well. "I was looking all over for you."

"Well she's been in here for awhile." The first man said, Hermione noticed he didn't seem so friendly when he was talking with Remus as he did with her. "Perhaps you weren't looking in the right places."

"Perhaps." Remus said. He looked as if he was trying to control himself, though Hermione couldn't figure out why. "Hermione I was wondering if you'd be willing to help me out with something at the castle." He said. Hermione noticed there was an almost pleading look in his eyes.

"Surely you don't want to deprive the dear girl of her Hogsmeade Weekend, do you?" Rod asked. "Must be her first one this year."

"Oh I don't mind." Hermione said with an unsteady smile. "I'm sure Rem--Professor Lupin wouldn't ask me if it wasn't important. It was nice meeting the two of you...I hope you find something that your wife will like."

"Come along Hermione." Remus said taking her elbow and guiding her towards the exit.

"Goodbye Hermione, it was a _pleasure_ meeting you." He called after her. When Hermione glanced back she noticed them both staring at her almost hungrily, much different then when they had first met her. Gone were the friendly smiles and the kind men asking her polite questions, and in their place were maniac smiles and a look she had only seen one place before, her dreams.

---------------------------------------

"Professor, Professor Lupin!" Hermione said as he continued to lead her through the town. His grip had not loosened on her elbow and Hermione was beginning to wonder where they were going. He hadn't mentioned once why he wanted her to go back to the castle. "Remus!" she said when he continued to ignore her, "Remus where are we going?"

"Somewhere far away from them as we can." he told her.

"Why? Remus what's going on? Who—"

"They were Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange." He said whipping around to look at her. His face instantly softened at the look of fright and bewilderment on her face. She obviously hadn't had any idea.

"But their…They, they couldn't be…Why didn't someone recognize them?" Hermione asked.

"It's been a long time since the last war Hermione," He said softly, "We've all changed since then."

"Now let's get you out of here." He said as he resumed walking, "It wasn't just a coincidence that they ran into you."

Hermione remained silent as Remus continued to lead her towards the castle. Past Honeydukes, past the Three Broomsticks where a part of her realized that Harry and Ron were still waiting for her, past Zonko's where she knew George would be if he was there.

"George!" she breathed in realization. "Remus! Remus stop!" she said pulling at his arm.

"Hermione—"

"I told him where George was." Hermione said, "They kept asking questions about the bracelet and my boyfriend and I…I can't believe I told them but I didn't think anything of it…."

"What did you tell them Hermione?" Remus asked.

"I told them that George was in Diagon Alley. Alone."

------------------------------

Remus watched Hermione worriedly as they hurried up the path to Hogwarts. She had remained silent after her announcement that George could be in danger. She hadn't so much as cried. She just continued following him, occasionally looking behind her, as if hoping to see George looking coming up the path behind them.

"Everything will be okay." He promised. She couldn't bring herself to believe him.

Remus never removed his hand from Hermione's elbow as they came into the Entrance Hall. He noticed a lot of students staring at them, Hermione especially but he was past caring about what others thought. Not after what he had just seen.

Rodolphus and Rabastan should never have been able to get that close to her. Someone should have noticed something. If he hadn't seen her, if he hadn't recognized them from his school days…Merlin knows what might have happened.

He spotted Severus in the Hall talking with Filch and nodded for him to follow him. They might not get along but Hermione was as much Severus' responsibility as he was his, even if they had different feelings towards her. A few moments later he heard Snape's quiet steps behind him and he knew he was following. They should both be there for this meeting.

He spoke the password quietly ("sour sugar quills") and helped Hermione onto the winding stairs. Severus was looking at him questioningly but he ignored him. He would find out soon enough.

Remus wrapped loudly on the door and the Headmaster called for them to come in. That alone seemed to snap Hermione out of whatever daze she was in. Suddenly she was alert and attentive, and Remus knew that she was willing to do anything to help.

"Well this is certainly a surprise." Dumbledore said as he watched the odd trio enter the room. "I hope that Miss Granger didn't do anything that would require punishment from all three of us." He said with a small chuckle.

"No Headmaster." Hermione said quietly.

"Remus?" he asked.

"I found Hermione in Hogsmeade unknowingly talking with Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange." Remus said as Hermione sat down.

"You what?" Severus snapped looking away from Hermione and sending a sharp look at Remus.

"I ran into them at the bookstore, literally." Hermione said quietly, "I didn't realize….they seemed nice. A little strange maybe, but perfectly nice. They didn't change until Remus, uhh…Professor Lupin appeared, but then they were different…."

"Hermione was talking with them several minutes before I realized what was going on." Remus said, "She's…Hermione's afraid that she might have let something slip about George and Fred Weasley's whereabouts."

"I'll send Alastor to check on them." Dumbledore said. "Does anyone know where Mr. Potter and the youngest Mr. Weasley are?"

"They should still be at the Three Broomsticks." Hermione told them, "I'm supposed to—I was going to meet them there after I was done at the bookstore. I never did get that book on healing potions like I want to…"

"I'll go get them." Remus volunteered. "They'll be wondering where Hermione is by now anyways."

"Make sure not to tell them anything while their still in Hogsmeade." Dumbledore said, "No need to upset the entire town if someone overhears."

"Of course." He said nodding at the Headmaster. "Everything will be fine Hermione." He said putting a hand on her shoulder, "You're safe now."

Hermione nodded and smiled, but they could both tell that it was forced. Deatheaters had just penetrated one of the few places that they still thought was safe.

---------------------------------

Hermione was vaguely aware of the Headmaster talking into the fire as Professor Snape moved in front of her, leaning against the desk as he watched her.

"Yes professor?" she asked, cursing as her voice shook slightly. The incident had shaken her up more then she cared to admit.

"I would like you to tell me exactly what happened." He said still watching her closely. "Something important might have happened that you didn't realize at the time."

"Of course." She said, though her mind was still on other things. She would never forgive herself if something happened to George or Fred because of something she said. "I walked into one of them, literally. I proceeded to apologize profusely, thinking that it was my fault. Though looking back at it now, it was probably planned."

"Most often the best way to ensure you talk to someone is to give them a reason to talk to you." He told her. His eyes were locked with hers and she was sure that he was using Legilimency to find out what happened himself.

"He asked about my bracelet claiming he and his brother were looking for a present for his brother's wife. They continued to question me about where I got it and when I couldn't answer them, they asked me about George who I had mistakenly told them was the one who had gotten it for me. After that Re—Professor Lupin showed up and—"

"Did you call him Remus or Professor Lupin?" He asked her.

"I was going to call him Remus but I quickly corrected myself and called him Professor Lupin." She said surprised by the question. "I've been doing it all year." She explained "As hard as it was to call him anything other then professor originally, it's hard to change back after I had gotten used to calling him by his first name."

"Have I said something wrong?" she asked him.

"You have inadvertently given information about two personal relationships to two Deatheaters, who I'm sure will immediately tell the Dark Lord what happened Miss Granger." He said, "So yes, however accidental it may have been, you did say something wrong."

Hermione lowered her eyes and remained silent until the Headmaster came back over. He and Professor Snape talked briefly and Hermione continued to look at the floor. She had far worse things to worry about then what Professor Snape thought of her, even if he was right.

"Miss Granger? Miss Granger?" Dumbledore asked, "Would you like some tea or maybe some biscuits while we wait for your friends? Perhaps a lemon drop?"

"No thank you Headmaster." She said, "I'm not very hungry."

---------------------------------

Hermione was staring out the window when she heard the door open behind her. She quickly looked around to see Remus coming back into the room but there was no Harry or Ron behind him like she had hoped. She tried not to sigh as he closed the door behind him.

"Harry and Ron are back in the Gryffindor Tower." He said, "They said that they hadn't noticed anything suspicious when they were in the town and I kept an eye out but I didn't see anything either. I told Minerva to keep a close watch when I saw her in town but I don't think anything will happen."

"I agree." Dumbledore said. He looked as if he was going to say something more but the fire roared to life and Mad-eye Moody's head appeared in the fireplace.

"Everything's fine over here." She heard him tell Dumbledore, "I've had a look over everything and they said they haven't seen anything. Their keeping the shop open a little while longer and I'll stay with them until then and then escort them to Hogwarts. We should be there before sundown."

"Thank you Alastor." He said.

"Wait, why is the shop open?" Hermione asked, "George said that they were just going to check on it, he didn't say anything about opening it."

"Apparently there were some kids beggin' them to open," He explained, "Or something like that, you'd have to ask him."

"Thank you Alastor, we'll see you when you get here." The Headmaster told him.

"Everything's fine Hermione." Remus told her, "There's no reason to worry."

"Of course not, why would there be reason to worry?" she asked him, the sarcasm evident in her voice.

"Hermione…"

"I think that I'll go back to my room unless there's anything else." Hermione said turning towards the Headmaster.

"Not at the moment no." He told her, "But if there's anything else that you remember later or you would just like to talk about what happened, you can come to speak with any of us."

Hermione sent a fleeting look at Snape, where she was sure that she had seen him roll his eyes, before looking back at the Headmaster. "Thank you Professor." She said, "I'll make sure that I do."

She left the room trying to ignore the looks that the three men were giving her, one concerned and two unreadable.

----------------------------

Hermione made her way back to the Gryffindor Tower in daze. She kept replaying the conversations she had with the two men over and over in her head. There were clues; they weren't even trying to be subtle. They had mentioned Bellatrix at least twice, even if they hadn't used her full name, and she hadn't even picked up on it. She was naïve and trusting, despite how cautious she was when she knew she was around people she could depend on.

She had been too open; she had risked all of their live without her even knowing it and she had to make sure that that didn't happen again.

Hermione had barely been able to make it into the common-room before Harry and Ron were on her. Each one had grabbed an arm and started leading her towards the boys' dormitories. They passed a few first years, who looked at them oddly, but saw no one else as most of the older students were still at Hogsmeade.

When they entered the sixth year dormitories Harry dropped his hold on her arm as he turned and closed the door. Hermione heard him muttering a locking charm and a silencing charm as Ron continued to lead her over to the beds.

"You know this would look quite suspicious to anyone who saw it." She said as Ron stopped in front of his bed. His hand quickly moved away from hers.

"Yes, well…that's what the spells are for." He said as she sat down, "We didn't think you'd want everyone to know what had happened."

"No." she said quietly, "No, I don't."

"What exactly did happen?" Harry asked as he and Ron sat down on his bed across from her. "Remus told us a little but he said that he couldn't explain very much where others could hear."

"Yeah, that's what Dumbledore said. No reason to worry the locals or any students who might overhear."

"Is there reason to worry?" Harry asked.

"When I was at the bookstore I ran into two men, we talked for a little while before Remus came over and had me leave." She said quietly, not looking at either of them. She had never found someone's quilt quite so interesting. "I wasn't sure why at first but then he explained that they were Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange."

She heard Ron make some sort of strangled sound and she was sure that he had gone white. She heard no definite sound from Harry but she thought that she heard him shifting on the bed. Most likely he was trying to think of something to say.

"They were…I mean…and you were…." Ron didn't seem to be able to come up with anything to say either.

"I'm fine." She said finally looking up at them. "They didn't do anything. They didn't even really try. It was just…it was really unnerving." She said, "To have them there, so close…if Remus hadn't recognized them…Well I know I certainly wouldn't have."

"You would have realized something was wrong eventually." Harry told her, "I know you. You would have picked up on something they said."

"But when? What else would I have told them before I realized that something wasn't right?" she asked.

"Hermione…"

"I told Professor Snape what happened." She said quietly, "In the little I talked to them I gave them information. I told them where George was. I told them that he was alone...What if they had asked about the two of you? What if I told them that you were at the Three Broomsticks? What would have happened then?"

"Hermione none of that matters," Harry told her, "All that matters is that you're okay."

"I don't care about what happen to me!" she said suddenly standing. Harry and Ron were both looking at her questioningly, wondering what she meant by that. She took a deep breath before continuing, "I know that came out harsh but I spent a very long walk back from Hogsmeade worrying that I had done something that could hurt the two of you, hurt George and Fred…"

"We understand Hermione." He told her. And he did. He was constantly worrying about the repercussions of his actions would be for his friends. He had learned that the hard way in the Department of Mysteries. "Maybe…maybe you should lay down for awhile." He said trying to stop his thoughts from traveling to what had happened last June. "That's what everyone tells me to do when something like this happens."

"No, no. I want to be awake when George gets back." Hermione said, "But I do think that I'm going to go take a bath. That should calm me down."

"Are you sure your okay Hermione?" Harry asked as she reached the doorway.

"I'm fine." Hermione said turning back around. "Don't worry about me Harry, I'll be fine. I always am." She added quietly.

----------------------------------

Hermione stared transfixed as the water filled the tub. She hadn't bothered with exquisite smells or with different kinds of bubbles. All she wanted was nice hot relaxing bath to wash away everything that had happened today. She didn't have the patience to wait for bubbles nor did she need them to do that.

She doubled checked that the door was locked before stepping out of her robe and into the tub, tensing at the hot water. She had come to love hot baths, they helped relax her, helped her to forget her problems and focus on practically nothing. But not today.

Today the bath didn't help. Instead it seemed to make her more tense and more nervous. She had managed to remain calm since she had found out who they were, she had remained as collected as possible but she could only take it so far. Here in the quiet she allowed herself to break down. She finally let the tears fall. She allowed herself to feel everything that she had been suppressing while talking with Remus, with Professor Snape, with Harry and Ron… She allowed herself to think about what could have happened, all of the what ifs.

She cried for everything that she, Harry and Ron had had to face over the years. She cried for everything that Harry had to endure. She cried for Cedric and Sirius, who died never having been able to experience the full potential of life. She cried for everyone who had lost someone in the war. She cried for everyone who lost a part of themselves. She cried, not for the first time since the dreams began, berating herself for not being strong enough to tell someone about them. For not being strong enough to face them and lying awake at night instead.

And she continued to cry, never noticing the figure outside her door listening to every heart wrenching sob.

----------------------------------

"Harry. Harry wake up." A voice said. Whoever it was was shaking him lightly, not enough to scare him but enough to keep him awake. "Harry wake up."

"What, what is it?" He asked opening his eyes. Hermione was perched on the edge of his bed. She was wearing the short muggle nightgown he had seen her in over the summer. He hoped she didn't notice him blushing. "Hermione what are you doing in here? Somebody's going to get the wrong impression you sneaking in here like this. It _is_ the wrong impression, right?"

"Don't worry." She said with a giggle, "They won't be able to see me."

"What do you mean they won't be able to see you? Hermione what are you talk—" Hermione interrupted, placing a finger on his lips.

"They can't see me Harry, only you can." she told him, "I had to see you. I had to tell you something."

"What you mean they can't see you? Hermione—"

"I need you to know its okay." She said moving closer to him. "I need you to know that."

"I need to know what's okay?" he asked her setting up.

"That you couldn't save me." She said smiling softly at him. She leaned down slowly, almost as if in slow-motion, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. "Remember that Harry." And then she was gone, disappearing as if she had never been there in the first place. The only reminder was the feeling on his lips.

"Hermione no!" Harry yelled. He awoke with a jolt, setting up in bed and gasping for air. It took him a minute to realize that there were four boys all standing around him.

"You okay Harry?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, yeah." Harry said shaking his head. "It was just a dream….that's all."

"You sure?" Neville asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Harry said forcing a weak smile.

"So, do dream about Hermione often?" Seamus asked with a grin.

"Yeah, all the time." Harry muttered sarcastically, he grabbed his covers and rolled over before anyone else could ask anymore questions. He didn't care what they thought his dreams were about; all he cared was what they meant. He didn't know what Hermione had meant when she said he couldn't save her but he was going to make sure that didn't happen. He would make sure that she was safe. No matter what the cost.

-----------------------------

"Hermione hold still." Ginny said as she pulled at her hair.

"Well stop doing that and I will." Hermione said.

"You know you asked me to help with your hair, not the other way around." Ginny told her.

"I know, but that was before I realized that you were doing it to get back at me for all the times I made you study when you didn't want to." Hermione said. "Ow! _Ginny._"

"Sorry." Ginny said. "I'll try something else. Better yet, how about we just try it down in waves." She said waving her wand. Instantly Hermione's tangled locks turned soft and silky, flowing down her back. "Nothing beats a nice hair charm." Ginny said, "Makes things much simpler too."

"Yes, now if only we had thought of that before we started." Hermione muttered. "Do you want me to help with yours?"

"No, I already know what I want to do." She said taking Hermione's place in front of the mirror.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ginny asked as she watched her friend set down on the bed. She had been noticing something different about her for awhile now.

"For the last time, I'm fine Ginny." Hermione said.

"I know I know." Ginny said, "It's just, you know Ron told me what happened in Hogsmeade and I'm just worried."

"Ron told you that so you'd know better then to talk to strangers. Trust me, I learned that lesson. You don't need to worry about me." Hermione said as she looked over her costume. She was still a little nervous about it.

"I know, I just…"

"Ginny I'm fine. I promise—"

"I heard you crying." Ginny interrupted. "In the bathroom, after it happened. I came home early from Hogsmeade and one of the first years said that you came up here. I wasn't trying to spy or anything, I just heard you crying and I couldn't bring myself to knock."

"I'm not mad Ginny." Hermione said. "It explains why you've been hovering over me so much these last couple of weeks."

"I just wanted you to know that I'm here if you weren't okay." Ginny said. "Harry and Ron may not be the best shoulders to cry on, but I'm here too."

"I appreciate that Gin," Hermione said, "Really I do. But I don't need a shoulder. When I say I'm fine I mean it."

"You're sure?" Ginny asked.

"Yes." Hermione said with a big smile. She knew she was lying, but sometimes it was necessary. "Now come on and let's get dressed. No need to keep the boys waiting too long. If we do, they'll just complain about it all night."

--------------------------------------

"This is great!" Ron said as he and Harry had entered the Ball.

"Yeah!" Harry called back over the loud music. The Great Hall resembled little of what it normally did, decked out it blacks, grays and reds. There was mist swirling without and candles and other decorations floating magically about the room. People were off dancing to the right and there were tables set up to the left, much like at the Yule Ball. But with everyone in costume and the music that was playing, it made it seem much less formal and more fun. Harry even expected to enjoy the night.

"I wonder where Hermione is." Ron said scanning the crowd. "I haven't seen much of her lately."

"Yeah, neither have I." Harry said quietly. The truth was that it was mainly his fault. He had been trying to separate himself from her. He figured if he was around her, then there was no reason for anyone to come after her. However distancing himself wasn't an easy thing to do alone, at least not inconspicuously, so he had taken to flying with Ron a lot. It took up a lot of their free time and it gave a reasonable excuse for them not be there. He just hoped neither Ron nor Hermione caught on.

"Hey guys." Ginny came up beside them. She was dressed as a princess, or at least that was what Harry assumed from the tiara on her head. The dress she was wearing was also white, so he guessed she could be a bride.

"Hey Ginny." He said.

"What exactly are you supposed to be?" Ron asked looking her up and down.

"Frankenstein's bride." Ginny said with a laugh, "Dean's here as Frankenstein."

"What's a Frankenstein?" Ron asked, "And why does he need a bride?"

"Apparently it's a muggle thing." Ginny said, "Dean told me about it but I don't really know how to explain. It might be better if you ask him.

"Yeah, maybe…" Ron said as scanned the crowd again. "Have you seen Hermione?"

"I saw her before I left, I was helping her get ready, but I haven't seen her since then." Ginny said. "She's probably around here somewhere though. You'll find her eventually."

-------------------------------

Ron continued his search for Hermione, Harry following close behind him secretly hoping that he wouldn't find her. This distancing thing was harder then he thought it would be as Ron seemed rather focused on finding her. So far he had ignored several comments on his costume, two girls asking him if he wanted to dance, and a barb about his family from Malfoy and they had yet to find her.

"Maybe their not here yet." Ron said stopping in front of the punch bowl.

"Yeah, maybe." Harry said though he didn't quite believe it. He was sure she was here, somewhere. He just didn't know if Ron would be happy when he found her, especially if she was in George's arms.

"There she is." Ron said pointing across the room. Hermione was standing next to George, a smile playing on her face as they talked with Angelina, Katie and Fred. Angelina and Katie seemed to be watching her closely and Harry noticed Hermione move closer to George as she scanned the crowd, apparently having no interest in the conversation. Knowing the group of people she was with and the hand movements Fred was making, it was probably about quidditch.

Harry noticed her spot them and saw her smile. She whispered something to George before hurrying over to them.

"I've been looking for you two everywhere." She said, "I'm glad I finally found you. You two look nice."

"So do you and George." Harry said.

"Thanks." Hermione said blushing, "But I don't think we'll be winning the best costume award like George had hoped. Angelina and Fred's costumes are pretty good and so are Luna's and Cho's."

"Speaking of Angelina…you two wouldn't mind if I hung out over here for awhile, would you?"

"No" Ron said quickly.

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Well Fred's always nice to me. Probably something to do with the fact I'm dating his twin and in the beginning occasionally got them mixed up…but so are the other seventh year boys. But Angelina and Katie…I don't know, they just always seem to act like I shouldn't be there. That I'm doing something wrong."

"You don't have much luck with girl friends do you?" Ron asked.

"Ginny is all I need." Hermione told them, "Other then that I'm happy with you guys. I find you much less annoying."

"Gee thanks." Harry said.

Hermione stayed with them for awhile, convincing each of them to take a turn with her on the dance floor, claiming that they never did dance with her at the Yule Ball and who knows when they'd have the chance again. Ron seemed more eager to dance then Harry thought he would. But it was long before George had turned up again. Harry had noticed that he was around a lot more since what had happened in Hogsmeade. Apparently Harry wasn't the only one feeling guilty about having left her alone.

"May I have this dance?" George asked offering Hermione his arm.

"Certainly." She said handing her punch glass to Ginny who was grinning at her.

"There cute together." Ginny said as she watched them dance.

"_Ginny_." Ron groaned.

"Well they are." Ginny said, "And she's good for him. Mum would be happy."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

"Well if you haven't noticed, he hasn't pulled any pranks tonight. When have you known George to give up an opportunity as good as this?" she asked, "And if that's not enough, he hasn't been able to keep his eyes off of her all night. Even when she was over here, he was watching her. Giving the two of you some right proper dirty looks when you were dancing with her as well."

Harry noticed Ron watching Hermione and George closer as Ginny explained everything to them. Harry hadn't noticed either but they were become more serious then he thought they ever would.

As the song ended George took Hermione's hand and led her to the doors leading to the gardens. Ron didn't wait to see if they left before he stormed off, Harry quickly following him.

--------------------------

"This is much better." Hermione said coming outside. All the people and noise had been getting to her. She had been more jumpy lately and the large crowd was making her nervous. She couldn't help but think that with everyone in costumes it could be anyone behind those masks. She couldn't help but shiver every time someone bumped into her or came too close.

"I agree." George said guiding her down the path. "There are far too many people in there."

"It is a ball." Hermione said, "There's supposed to be a lot of people."

"True…" George said, "But Angelina's been acting strange, which is making Fred act strange—"

"Fred always acts strange." Hermione told him with a smile.

"Okay _stranger_ then normal." He corrected himself, "And some alone time with my girlfriend sounded like a good idea."

"Alone time?" Hermione asked. "Just what _exactly_ do you think is going to happen out here George Weasley?"

"I have absolutely no expectations." George said with a large smile of his own.

"Is that so?" Hermione asked turning to look at him. But as she turned the ground swayed beneath her. Everything started to spin as her eyes rolled back in her head.

"Hermione. Hermione!" George called. Hermione felt him wrap his hands around her waist as the world continued to sway.

------------------------------

"Ron!" Harry called following him through the common room. "Ron, will you stop?!"

Either Ron didn't hear him or he wasn't listening to him, as he continued up the stairs to the dormitories. When Harry finally caught up to him he was already throwing off his robes.

"You knew they were dating Ron." Harry said. "It's been over three months now."

"But they were just supposed to be dating." Ron said as he threw his bow hat across the room. "They weren't supposed to be like that. He wasn't supposed to take her away from me…"

"Ron…" The truth was Harry didn't know what to say to him. He knew that Ron had been denial about Hermione and George; he knew that it was going to hit him eventually but he had never thought of something to say when it did. This was when he needed Hermione.

"She wasn't supposed to fall for him." Ron said miserably as he sunk down onto his bed. "She was supposed to realize how bad he was for her. She was supposed to realize that she had the wrong _Weasley_…I don't think that's going to happen."

"Things could happen." Harry said trying to be encouraging, "It's only October and Fred and George will be out of here after December. Anything could happen."

"Yeah, anything _could_ happen." Ron snorted disdainfully, "But it won't."

------------------------------

"Hermione, are you sure your okay?" George asked crouching in front of her. She was as white as a ghost and shivering.

"I'm fine." Hermione said with what she hoped was a comforting smile, "I just got a little dizzy."

"That wasn't a little dizzy, Hermione." He told her, "I should go get a teacher."

"No!" she said quickly. "Don't do that. I'm fine, really I am."

"Hermione I know you don't want my opinion on this. I know you think you can handle this on your own but I don't think you can." he said, "This is the third time I've been with you and you've had a spell like that and who knows how many times you've had them and conveniently not mention anything about it." Hermione did her best not to look guilty. "And you've said so yourself that these dreams aren't going away. Maybe this is more then just a few nightmares."

Hermione's eyes met his, the tears shining in the moonlight. He was right. She knew he was. She had been in denial about it for awhile now but whatever was going on was too big for her to handle on her own. She had wanted to protect Harry. She hadn't wanted to distract the Order because of her own troubles. But in trying to protect everyone else, she had never thought about what she was doing to herself.

---------------------------------

Hermione stared at the opposing door in front of her. She had never been to Dumbledore's office alone. She had been there plenty of times before, but with Harry and Ron, or with Remus or Professor McGonagall. Never had she gone alone. Never had she had a reason to.

George had offered to go with her. He would have happily came with her, help her explain when she had difficulties. But she had told him no, thinking that it would be easier if she did it by herself. She would have hit herself for her stupidity but she didn't need a bigger headache then she already had.

Just as she was about to knock, the door swung open before her. "I wasn't sure how long it would take you, so I decided to help you along." Dumbledore told her. He was setting behind his desk, a small smile on his lips and his hands clasped in front of him.

"I'm sorry Headmaster." Hermione said coming farther into the room. "I'm just a little…"

"Nervous?" he supplied for her.

"Among other things." Hermione said.

"I'm sure there's no reason to be nervous child." He said, "Now, I believe you have something that you'd like to tell me. May I ask what it is?"

"Yes, of course." Hermione said, suddenly remembering why she was there. "I…I don't think your going to like this very much."

"I'm sure everything will be fine." He reassured her.

"I've been having dreams." Hermione said quietly.

"There's nothing unusual about that." He told her.

"There is about these." Hermione said. "I…They've been happening since the beginning of the summer. At first I just thought that they were nothing. That it was just because of what happened in the Department of Mysteries, anyone would have nightmares after that….But they didn't go away. They just kept getting worse. Every night I have one. Every night there different but equally real. And there horrible, nothing I could have ever imagined on my own….They've become so bad that I can't sleep. That I'm afraid of sleeping…."

"I know this must sound ridiculous." Hermione said wiping at the tears that had fallen as she had explained. "But there so incredibly real, sometimes its as if I never even fell asleep at all….And I know that there different, but I keep remembering everything that happened with Harry last year and I just don't want the same thing to happen."

"Not that I'm comparing myself to Harry!" Hermione said quickly, "I just—"

"I understand Miss Granger." Dumbledore interrupted. Hermione noticed that he looked much more serious then when she had begun explaining her dreams. "I think this conversation requires Professor Snape as well." He said moving over to the fire. "I'll return in a few moments." He told her before throwing Floo powder into the fire, calling out 'Severus Snape's quarters', leaving Hermione alone in his office.

It was a good ten minutes before he came back, Professor Snape coming through the fire behind him.

"I'm sorry that took so long." Dumbledore said moving back behind his desk, "I had a little trouble finding Professor Snape."

"It's no problem." Hermione said glancing over at Professor Snape. She didn't think that she would like the reason he was here.

"Professor Snape would like to ask you a few questions, if that is alright." He told her.

"Of course." Hermione said turning her attention to Snape.

"These…_dreams_ that you told the Headmaster about" he said, "Are they reoccurring?"

"No, no I don't think so." Hermione said, "In the beginning maybe. But then, when they first started they were different. They were more indistinguishable, just images and darkness. They're much different now, always realistic, most of the time I don't realize that I'm dreaming until I wake up."

"Do you have more then one dream a night?" he asked watching her carefully.

"I don't know what you mean." Hermione said.

"Have you ever woken up from one, to fall back asleep and have another or perhaps fall back into the same one?"

"No." Hermione said, "No, normally I sleep through the night and am just…upset or I wake up and can't fall back to sleep."

"So you can't bring yourself out of them?" Snape asked, though it seemed like it was more to himself.

"I—I don't know." Hermione said, "I've never really tried, like I said I don't realize I'm asleep. George has woken me up a few times I guess, so have Ginny and Viktor, but I've never really been able to snap myself out. Is that important?"

"It's good to know Miss Granger." Dumbledore told her. "Anymore questions Severus?"

"No, not at the time." He said, "I think you were right in your suspicions Albus."

"I had hoped that I was wrong." He said.

"What are you talking about Headmaster?" Hermione asked.

"I do not know the cause of these dreams." He told her. "But I do not think that you have any control over them. We need to change that."

"Every night you are to go to the Hospital Wing and Madame Pomfrey will supply you with a vial of dreamless sleep potion. You will return to your quarters and take it there. If you the potion doesn't work or you show any effects from it, I want you to come to me immediately."

"Yes sir." Hermione said quietly.

"You will also begin Occlumency lessons with Professor Snape." He said.

"Yes sir—Wait, what?" Hermione asked. "That's what you had Harry do when—"

"Don't misunderstand Miss Granger; this is a very different situation then Mr. Potter's." Dumbledore told her. "However we do not know the cause of the dreams and I think it is important that we do. Occlumency should help Professor Snape gain insight on what exactly is going on."

"I understand." She said. "When will I have my lessons?"

"No one would believe that you were taking remedial potions. You still have your teacher's aid duties with me every week" Professor Snape said, "We will do it then."

"Yes sir." She said not quite meeting his eyes. She didn't like the idea of him probing her thoughts. Harry hadn't told her a lot but he had told her enough that she knew it was not a fun process. It was a hard skill to master and the memories that you were trying to repress always seemed to be the ones that came to the surface. She knew there were a lot of things that she didn't want Professor Snape to see.

"Professor Snape has been kind enough to supply you with a vial of dreamless sleep potion for tonight." Dumbledore said lifting a potion vial out of his robes and onto the table. "I was inform Poppy of the situation tomorrow and you can report to her tomorrow night. She should be expecting you around nine."

"Yes sir." Hermione said standing and taking the vile off of his desk, "Thank you."

"Now, I believe it is much past curfew." He said, "Professor Snape will walk you back to your quarters."

"Before I go." Hermione said as Dumbledore stood, as if to leave himself. "Is there anyway that we can keep this between the three of us?"

"What do you mean?"

"I just…I understand if you have to tell the Order or the other professors but….I don't want Harry to know about this. He _doesn't_ know about this. Any of it. And I'd really like to keep it that way. If he finds out he's only going to blame himself, and that's not good for anyone but especially him."

"I can find no reason for Mr. Potter to know." He told her. "Don't worry Miss Granger; your secret is safe with us."

---------------------------------

Hermione felt uncomfortable still in her costume as she walked beside Professor Snape. She had long since vanished her wings but she still felt like something heavy was on her shoulders. She had thought that confessing to Dumbledore would make her feel better, that it would make everything better but it had left her just as confused. He didn't know what was going on, and if he did he wasn't going to tell her.

"You're shivering Miss Granger." Professor Snape's baritone voice came from beside her.

"Yes, well this costume is made for effect, not for warmth or comfort." Hermione said as she rubbed her arms. The castle had gotten much colder then usual tonight. It must be the beginning of November; everyone was still pretending that it was summer. She heard Professor Snape shuffling beside her but continued walking, he wouldn't have stopped for her and she knew he would have considered it foolish if she did so for him. A minute later she felt his outer robes wrapped around her shoulders.

"Thank you Professor Snape." She said pulling them closer, unable to suppress a confused smile. She would never have expected that from him. It was entirely too human of thing to do.

"Next time you should wear more clothing." He told her. She knew there was a sneer in his voice but this time she didn't mind. The robes had been a comforting gesture. They made her feel safe and secure as she held them around her. She hadn't felt completely safe in a long time.

"I find it _odd_ that you do not want your friends to know of this." Professor Snape said as they neared Gryffindor Tower.

"I find no need for them to know." Hermione said stiffly. She had wondered if anyone would question her motives for not wanting them to know anything.

"Really?" he asked. She couldn't see it in the dark but she was sure that he had raised an eyebrow at her.

"They're already shaken up about what happened in Hogsmeade." She said, "I don't think it's necessary to worry them any more. Professor Dumbledore knows, you know. That's all that really matters right now."

"I think your friends would have a different opinion." He said as they stopped in front of the Fat Lady. She was looking at them both reproachfully.

"Yes, well they often disagree with what's best for them." Hermione said. He noticed she was smiling, but it was a sad smile.

"You should be ashamed of yourself" The Fat Lady said interrupting them, "Keeping a student out this late. It is hardly proper. As a Professor you should know better."

Hermione rolled her eyes but otherwise ignored the portrait. She was always butting in where she didn't belong, assuming she knew what was going on when most of the time she didn't. "Thank you Professor Snape." She said carefully sliding his robes off her shoulders. She could already feel the coldness setting in. "I'll see you Monday for lessons."

"Make sure to be on time. Miss Granger." He said nodding his head in acknowledgement. He sneered at the Fat Lady, who seemed appalled at his actions, before striding away.

"You should know better missy." She said turning on Hermione, "There's to be no close contact between staff members and students, and this is the second staff member I have seen escort you back after curfew."

"I can assure you there's nothing go on." Hermione said blushing at the implications. If she was to choose a teacher to be involved with it certainly wouldn't be Professor Snape. "Pickleberries," she told the portrait, "Will you please let me in now?"

The Fat Lady sent her another reproachful look but the portrait swung open and Hermione climbed quickly inside. The common room was dark and there wasn't even a fire in the fireplace. All that was left was a few scattered pieces of parchment and a red-headed boy asleep on the couch.

Hermione smiled at George sleeping serenely on the couch, he almost looked as if he was smiling in his sleep. She would give anything to be able to sleep like that. Hopefully the vile in her pocket would allow her too.

"George. George!" she said shaking his shoulder gently.

"Hermione?" he mumbled his eyes opening slightly.

"Yeah, it's me." She said.

"What did Dumbledore say?" he asked quickly setting up.

"He said that he'd look into it but that it's probably me working myself up over nothing." She lied. She had thought long and hard on the trip back to the common room. Until they knew what was going on she was going to keep this as secret. "But he said that I could use dreamless sleep until I was comfortable trying to sleep without it."

"If everything's fine why'd he keep you so late?" he asked her.

"Well I spent a good twenty minutes just staring at his door before I had the nerve to go in." she told him with a small smile. "And after that he asked me to drop something off at the hospital wing when I picked up my dreamless sleep. And Madame Pomfrey was still awake when I got there….and well you know how she can be. I talked longer with her then I did Dumbledore."

"But he said everything's fine?" he asked her, "There just dreams?"

"Trust me, as far as anyone knows, they're just dreams." She told him.

* * *

_**Please review!!!**_


	7. Chapter Six: Stripped

_**Chapter Six: Stripped **_

_**SWEET CHILDHOOD**_

_**Why can't we pretend that**_

_**We're children who are**_

_**Playing with each other,**_

_**Not really understanding**_

_**What we're doing but it's fun**_

_**It feels good and there is**_

_**An urgent curiosity to study**_

_**Each other's parts. Sweet childhood,**_

_**Happy time of innocence, come back**_

_**For us, bring back an hour**_

_**When everything was gentle and new.**_

_**-James Laughlin**_

---

Harry yawned as he and Ron entered the Great Hall. He had tried to calm down Ron the night before, but he knew that he had still gone to bed upset. It had been bad enough in forth year when Ron had seen Hermione with Viktor, but to feel like he was loosing Hermione to his own brother...Harry knew that had to hurt.

Harry heard Ron tossing and turning for hours before he actually fell asleep. Harry knew because he had been awake as well. The time spent with Hermione the night before had made him realize just how much he missed her. Between her own busy schedule since the school year began and his recent decision to try to separate himself from her, he had begun to miss his best friend.

He missed her constant nagging about doing his schoolwork. He missed her laugh when he made a muggle reference that confused everyone but her. He missed her reassurance that everything was going to be okay. And thinking about it, he really just wanted his best friend back.

As Harry and Ron took their seats at the table Harry began to notice the groups of students spread around the Great Hall, whispering and laughing loudly. Just down the table Lavender and Parvarti had their heads bent together giggling quite loudly, occasionally glancing up at himself or Ron. "Do you know what all the whispering is about?" Harry asked.

"No clue." Ron said looking around. It seemed as if everyone was in on it but them. Even the first years seemed to know what was going on.

"Maybe something happened after we left the ball." Harry suggested looking up at the high table; it seemed as if they didn't know what was going on either. But then again, when did the professors know _everything_ that was going on with their students.

The doors to the Great Hall opened and slowly the whispering began to stop as the couple in the doorway made their way further into the room. It was rather obvious to Harry that practically the entire hall was staring at the two. Hermione's pace picked up as she noticed all the attention as well. She took her normal seat across from Harry, George next to her still holding her hand, and looked uncomfortably around. The whispering was starting again, this time much louder.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked quietly leaning across the table.

"We don't know." Harry said.

"We were hoping you could tell us." Ron said, blushing as he glanced between Hermione and Harry. He knew Harry wouldn't say anything, but it was different now that he knew. Somehow it made it more real.

"We just figured something happened at the Ball after we left." Harry said.

"No…Not that I know of." Hermione said glancing around again. A couple of second year boys setting at the Hufflepuff table were watching her. When they noticed her looking, they quickly turned away, busying themselves with their plates. Whatever was being said it had obviously traveled through all the houses and classes hadn't even started yet. This couldn't be good.

--------------------------------

"Guess we should get to potions." Harry said grudgingly. Ron groaned beside him.

"Oh, sound so enthused." Hermione said with a laugh standing up from the table. Something's never changed and she was glad for that.

"It's double potions, Hermione." Ron said, "Do you expect us to sound happy?"

"Well, no" Hermione said, "But you sound as if your walking towards your death."

"You never know what could happen." George told her. "Caldrons are known to blown up unexpectedly."

"Don't encourage them." Hermione said giving him a quick kiss. When she looked up she noticed everyone at the table watching the two of them. The whispers had eventually worn down as everyone ate breakfast, but that didn't mean the looks had.

"Come on Hermione." Harry said nodding his head towards the door, "Let's get to class." He didn't really want to go to potions, but it had to be better then this. At least Snape told you what he was thinking, even when you didn't want him too.

"Are you sure you don't know what's going on?" Hermione asked as they walked towards the dungeons; the students they passed in the hallway seemed just as interested as those eating breakfast. "You're not trying to spare my feelings or anything?"

"Trust me we don't know anything." Ron said. "We're just as confused as you are."

"There's a scary thought." Hermione said with a small smile.

"Hey!" Ron said.

"I didn't mean it like that." Hermione said as they turned the corner. "I just meant that I know how confused I am. I mean they were staring at me right? That wasn't all in my mind?"

"No, they were staring at you." Ron said earning a punch in the arm from Harry. "Ow!"

"I don't think that was the answer she was looking for." Harry told him.

"Its okay Harry, I already knew the answer." Hermione said looking purposefully ahead. She just wished she knew why. She had secrets, she knew she did, but none that would have the whole school talking about her like this.

As the trio neared the door to the potions lab, Hermione noticed that there was already a group of people waiting for Professor Snape to arrive. She also noticed that they were all watching her, some more subtly then others but still staring just the same. Most of them were Slytherins and Hermione kept herself close to the wall, subconsciously moving closer to Harry and Ron, knowing that Slytherins more then anyone else would be likely to say something. She was right.

"Well look who it is." Malfoy said pushing off from the wall. She felt his smirk before she even turned around. "After everything I heard, I thought you would still be in bed." He said looking Hermione up and down. "After all you've had a _busy_ night."

"Shove off Malfoy." Ron said stepping in front of Hermione.

"Oooh…Come to defend her honor, Weasel?" Malfoy asked, "Too bad your brother's the one who took it." Ron's face was instantly red and Hermione could hear the other Slytherins snickering.

"What are you talking about Malfoy?" Hermione asked stepping out from behind Ron. She did not like the way this conversation was going.

"Oh don't even try to deny it, Granger." Malfoy said with a smug smile. "Everyone saw you two at the ball. All close and snugly." He sneered. "And then you and your little boyfriend wandered off into the gardens not to be seen again for hours. Tell me Granger, what exactly _were_ you doing?"

Hermione's face had lost some of its color as she stared Malfoy down. She could hear the other Slytherins snickering. Was that really what the whole school thought had happened? Was that really what they were all talking about?

"Shut your mouth Malfoy." Harry said.

"What's wrong Potter? Upset that she wasn't with you?" he asked, "At least the truths out now, no more hiding behind your books Granger, the whole school knows just how much of whore you are."

Both Harry and Ron made a move to lung at him but Hermione held them back. "Ignore him." Hermione said her voice quivering slightly. "He obviously doesn't know what he's talking about. Not that he ever does." she said turning around.

"Not so fast Granger." Malfoy said grabbing her wrist and pulling her to his chest. Hermione couldn't stop the gasp from escaping her lips at the contact. In the past Malfoy had recoiled at just the thought of her touch, or anyone like hers; he didn't seem to have that problem now. And that scared her. Malfoy had always been predictable in the past, he would insult her, he looked down upon her because of her friends and her family, but she had never considered him threatening before. But he had grown over the summer, making him almost as tall as Ron, and he had gotten stronger as well. She could feel it as his grip tightened on her wrist as he leered down at her.

"Malfoy what are you doing?" she asked, trying to wrench her wrist out of his grasp. His grip didn't loosen no matter how much she struggled.

"Just what I was wondering Miss Granger." Professor Snape's deep voice came from behind Malfoy. He grabbed the back of Malfoy's robes, pulling him away from her. Hermione quickly took a step back, closer to Harry and Ron who she could tell were fuming. "Care to explain Mr. Malfoy?" he asked sneering down at him.

"I was just…talking with Granger." Malfoy said quickly. He obviously hadn't expected his head of house to show up.

"It didn't seem like Miss Granger was all that interested in what you had to say." Professor Snape said looking over at Hermione. She was still holding her wrist and trying to process everything that was happening. If it wasn't bad enough that Malfoy was the one to explain why everyone was whispering about her but for him to grab her, in front of everyone, so unexpectedly…The day had barely started and already she wanted to do nothing more then go back to Gryffindor Tower.

"Ten points from Slytherin for your actions Mr. Malfoy," Professor Snape said releasing Draco's robes as he turned. "Now everyone, into class."

"You okay?" Harry asked as they made their way into the classroom.

"I'm fine." Hermione said finally releasing her own grip on her wrist. "I just…I didn't expect him to do that."

"Yeah, I can't believe Snape took points from his own house." Ron said as they took their seats.

"I think she was talking about Malfoy." Harry said looking up at her. She looked okay, but she was staring off into space, as if she was trying to figure something out. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." Hermione said as she began to take things out of her backpack. "Everything's fine."

--------------------------

"Miss Granger, stay behind." Professor Snape said as the class began to file out of the room.

"Yes, sir." She said setting her backpack back down on her desk.

"We'll be outside." Ron said nodding towards the open door.

"Its okay, you can go ahead to Transfiguration." Hermione said.

"We'd rather wait." Harry said shooting a suspicious look towards Professor Snape. Hermione knew that he didn't like her working with him, even if it was only one night a week and mostly in silence. She knew that he would like it even less if he found out that he was to start teaching her Occlumency and she would have to spend even more time with him.

"Yes Professor?" Hermione asked after the last students left the classroom.

"I have spoken with the Headmaster and he has agreed to change the day of your teacher aid duties." He said glancing at the open door. It was clear that he couldn't say too much when others might overhear. "Because of our…_activities_, you will have less energy and will need more time to recover in the beginning. Friday's will make this seem less suspicious. We hope this will mean that the other students will be less aware of your late arrival."

"That would be appreciated." Hermione said. "But what about Professor Lupin?" she asked, making sure that she didn't call him by his first name, "I normally help him on Friday's."

"You will continue working with him, just now on a different day." He said.

"Yes, sir." She said, "Is that all?"

"Yes, you may go." Professor Snape said.

Hermione turned, going back to her workstation to get her things. She had never considered people questioning her whereabouts. Where she was or who she was with, it was no one's business but her own. Of course that hadn't stopped people from gossiping about her whereabouts from the night before. Her hand had unconsciously gone back to her wrist.

"Miss Granger." Professor Snape said snapping her out of her thoughts.

"Yes Professor?" she asked looking up.

"Is your wrist hurt?" he asked.

"What? Oh, no." she said quickly releasing her wrist. "I just…I'm fine. At the most there will just be a bruise and that will fade." She turned and made her way out of the classroom, Professor Snape watching her as she went.

-------------------------------

Harry and Ron hung back, close to the door as Hermione talked with Snape. They weren't sure how long she was going to be, but they didn't want her to have to deal with the Slytherins alone. They were still lingering about and Harry could tell from the malicious look on Malfoy's face that he was waiting around for Hermione.

"You know the dungeons can be very dangerous for Gryffindors." Malfoy said with a smirk. Goyle and Crabbe were on either side of him as he walked closer to where Harry and Ron were standing. "What are you both still doing here? Waiting to walk Granger back? Hoping that you'll both have some _alone_ time with her as well?"

"You prat! Don't talk about her like that." Ron said. He lunged forward, completely forgetting that he had the ability to use a wand, but Harry held him back. Snape's door was still open and if he saw Ron attack Malfoy Harry knew he wouldn't hesitate to deduct points and assign them detention, even if it was provoked. Just because Snape had been unusually nice to Hermione earlier, didn't mean that they would get the same treatment.

"Or maybe even Granger, as low as her standards obviously are, won't have a go at you." Draco said with a laugh.

"I think that's quite enough." A loud voice rang out from behind Malfoy, making him jump.

Harry looked around him to see Remus standing there with a stern look upon his face; he had obviously heard everything that Malfoy had said.

"Five points from Slytherin" Remus said, "Now get to class, before I give you a detention." His tone indicated that there was no choice in the matter and Malfoy and his cronies left.

"Boys." He said nodding at Harry and Ron.

"Thanks professor." Harry said.

"No problem." Remus said with a small smile. "If I was still in school, I would have done much worse, but as a teacher I can get in trouble for that."

"So you've heard too?" Ron asked.

"Heard what?" Hermione asked coming out of the potion's classroom.

"Uhh…" Ron wasn't sure what to say and neither was Harry. They didn't want to have to explain there conversation with Malfoy, and even Remus seemed unsure of what to say to her.

"And why are you down in the dungeons?" Hermione asked Remus. "Shouldn't you be preparing for class?"

"Well I had some free time and just wanted to come and see how you were doing." Remus said. Twenty years her senior and he still felt as young as Harry and Ron when she gave him that look.

"See how I was do….Even the professors know?" she asked taking a step back. The entire student body was talking about her; she didn't know how to deal with that but somehow it was worse that the teachers had heard the talk too. She had been fighting for respect ever since she got here. To think she might loose it over something so trivial, a misunderstanding…it hurt. More then she wanted anyone to know. "That's great…just bloody great."

"Not well then." Remus said.

"I'm fine." She sighed.

"Really?" Harry asked skeptically.

"I'll _be_ fine." Eventually. "I just want to talk to George." She said quietly. "I don't know if he even knows about it yet…"

"But actually it's a god thing that I found you, or you found me really." Hermione said turning to Remus. "Professor Snape wanted to switch teacher's aid nights with you. He's already spoken with the Headmaster, so I'll be helping you out Monday nights now."

"I guess I'll be seeing you tonight then." He said with a smile.

"Yes." She said, still not quite meeting his eyes. She didn't want to see what might be there.

"Well at least now you'll start your week off better." Ron said as they started to make their way out of the dungeons. "Of course you'll have to end it with Snape, which probably isn't much better…."

Harry shook his head at his friend, but he was happy to see that he had made Hermione smile. Even if it was just a small smile.

-----------------------------

Hermione was very glad when classes were over. It was probably the first time that she wanted to get out of classes more then anyone else in the room. But the stares and the whispers were getting to her and no matter how many times she told herself that it didn't matter what anyone else thought or said, it still hurt when someone she had considered a friend laughed at her behind her back.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ron asked as they climbed the stairs to the Gryffindor common room. He had been asking that all day now.

"I told you I'm fine." She said quietly. It was nice that he cared, but she didn't want to talk about it and she knew that was part of the reason he was asking. She knew that both he and Harry wanted to know what happened, if what being said was true. She didn't want to have to lie to them and explain where she had really been. She had already lied enough about last night.

"Pickleberries." Hermione said as they reached the Fat Lady. She was still looking accusingly at Hermione, reminding her of when Mrs. Weasley was angry at George and Fred, but the portrait swung open anyways.

It seemed as if the half the noise had disappeared as soon as Hermione had stepped into the common room. Fred made a show of talking louder, and Ginny followed his example as she talked with Neville. Others in the common room took the hint and looked away, but some of the others continued to look. Hermione shot a glare at Lavender and Parvarti as George quickly made his way over to her, pulling her to a secluded corner of the common room. Harry and Ron had joined Ginny and Neville, talking slightly louder then normal and trying to block them from the others view.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly.

"George you don't have anything to apologize for." Hermione said. "I was the one who was out late. It's my own fault."

"Yeah, but if I had just gone to bed then no one would have thought anything."

"That's not true." Hermione said putting a hand on his arm. "I doubt it was your roommates who would told anyone anything." She said shooting a nasty glare towards Lavender and Parvarti. There previously loud giggles stopped abruptly and they instantly looked away. They may as well have told Hermione that they were guilty of starting the rumor.

"How'd you find out?" George asked, "I mean, about what everyone was saying."

"Malfoy." She said quietly, "Before potions." She had no desire to tell him just how he had revealed it to her. "What about you?"

"I was on my way to Herbology." He explained. "Some Ravenclaw guy asked…" He looked uncomfortable. "Well, he asked how you were, if you know what I mean…. And well he got black eye and I found out what all the whispers were about."

"You hit him?" she asked her eyes wide.

"If you had heard him you would have hit him too." George defended himself. "Besides maybe it'll make people stop talking about us. They'll be too afraid I'll hit them."

"It'll blow over eventually." She told him, trying to sound positive. "We'll just have to wait it out until it does."

------------------------

When Hermione arrived at dinner people were much less subtle about what they were saying about her. Even surrounded with people on her side, she still couldn't help but feel upset. They all could overhear conversations all around them.

"I heard that she spent part of the summer with Viktor Krum. _Alone_." One of the Slytherin seventh year girls said, as she and her friends walked across the Great Hall. She hadn't even bothered to lower her voice as she passed near their table. "I mean, we can only imagine what they might have been doing. Maybe George wasn't her first. Maybe he wasn't even her second." She said shooting a look towards Harry and Ron.

"How could she possibly know that?" she asked wide-eyed.

"Probably because their parents are the ones who sent the owls to watch you." Ron said crossly.

"Everything's going to be fine." George said moving his hand on her back.

"Easy for you to say." She said angrily, "You get thumps on the back and congratulations. I get called a slut."

"Hermione…" George said slowly.

"I'm sorry." And she was. This wasn't his fault, she knew that. She just wanted someone to blame. And she was tired of being angry with herself. "I'm just tired and…upset. But your right, I shouldn't be taking it out on you." She said forcing a small smile. "I need to go to Professor Lupin's." she said standing up.

"I thought Monday's were your night with Snape?" George asked.

"They switched nights." Hermione said, "Which is probably a good thing, I don't think I'm up for that right now."

"I don't think anyone's ever up to it when it comes to Snape." Ron said getting a laugh from George and Fred.

"I'll see you guys later." Hermione said standing up.

"Wait," Harry said quickly standing up, grabbing Ron's arm. "We'll walk with you."

"Okay…" Hermione said unsure of why they were volunteering. "I'll see _you guys_ later." She said placing a quick kiss on George's cheek. She deliberately ignored everyone's looks as the three of them left the Great Hall.

"You know I can walk by myself." Hermione said, "I mean, not that I mind you coming or anything but…You know you don't have to right? I can take care of myself."

"We know." Harry said.

"Then why the sudden urge to come with me?" Hermione asked. "I'd understand if it was Professor Snape, but this is Remus."

"That's not really why we wanted to come." Harry said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, we were…I mean we were wondering….about…" Harry wasn't quite sure how to word the question.

"About where you were last night." Ron finished for him. "I mean we believe you about George. That nothing happened…we just wondered…"

"If you weren't with George, where were you?" Harry asked. Hermione had been prepared for this. She had spent most of her time in the library when she should have been at lunch thinking of an answer to this question.

"Look I don't know for sure why George wasn't in his bed," Hermione explained, "But after the ball I went last minute to the library to research something for Professor Snape that I had forgotten about. If I had realized that I didn't have to see him tonight then I wouldn't have bothered, but I did. And I didn't realize just how tired I was and I feel asleep before I even finished. When I woke up I went straight back to the common room. George was asleep on the couch; I think he had tried to wait up for me. I woke him up and he went to his room and then I went up to my own. That was it. I promise."

"It's not like you to fall asleep in the library." Ron pointed out.

"I was just tired." She told him defensively. "It was after the ball. I had gotten up early and I was tired and I fell asleep. It's not that unusual really."

"You're tired a lot lately." Harry pointed out.

"What are you talking about?" she asked suddenly angry, "I'm fine."

"Oh come off it, Hermione." Harry said, "You're always guzzling down the coffee lately. We keep catching you staring out the windows and zoning out in class, something you never did before. If something's wrong you should tell us. You can trust us, you know that right?"

"Of course I do." Hermione said quietly. She was glad that Remus's classroom was so close now; it hurt to lie to them when they were trying so hard to be understanding. "But I don't know what to tell you. I admit I've had a few bad nights of sleep lately, but that's it. Don't make more of it then it is."

She gave them what she hoped wasn't a shaky smile and walked into Remus's classroom, quickly shutting the door behind her. She leaned against it for a moment, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, fighting the urge to go back and tell Harry everything. He had looked her so caringly and she had lied straight to his face, barely batting an eyelash. That hurt more then any rumor ever had.

"Are you alright?" she heard Remus ask. She opened her eyes to see him watching her from across the room.

"I'm fine." She said forcing a smile. "Just a little tired."

"If you're tired, you don't have to say." Remus told her, stepping a little closer. "I'd understand."

"No, I'm fine." She said shaking her head. "Besides I'd much rather be here then in the common room right now."

"Unfortunately Hogwarts isn't known for its lack of gossip." He said.

"I always knew that." Hermione said with a small smile, "I guess I just never thought that I would be worthy of their discussion."

"I'm sure things will get better soon." Remus said putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I hope so too." Hermione said. She wasn't talking about the rumors.

------------------------------

"Don't you think that it was just a little bit suspicious?" Harry asked as he pulled off his shirt. Neville was already in bed so they had to speak quietly but because of his snores they knew that they wouldn't be overheard. And even if he did hear anything, Harry knew Neville wouldn't tell anyone.

"What exactly was suspicious Harry?" Ron asked as he buttoned up his own pajamas. "The part where she said she trusted us or the part where she said that she had been having trouble sleeping?"

"Neither, that's not what I'm saying—"

"Harry she was being honest with us. I don't know why you're making such a big deal. Do you want her to have been with George?"

"No! I just—"

"Then why are you trying to make something out of nothing?" Ron asked with a huff. He saw no reason not to trust Hermione. She had never lied to him before. And her falling asleep in the library was certainly better then her being off alone with George. It certainly seemed more like her. "Can we just drop it?" Ron asked him. "It's bad enough that the whole schools attacking her. Do you really think that she needs us questioning her too?"

"No, I guess not." Harry said setting down on his bed. But Harry knew something was off. He had seen it in her eyes when she told him that he didn't need to worry. There was a flicker of guilt when she realized how much he had been paying attention to her.

If only knew what it was she was hiding. Had she really been with George and she was just too embarrassed to tell them? Or was it something else? Was it just another thing to add to the list of things being kept from him?

He suddenly felt the urge to shout at Hermione. To yell at her until she told him whatever it was she was keeping from him. To make her see that keeping secrets only led to bad things. To remind her that it was keeping secrets that had led to Sirius's death.

But there was another part of him that just wanted to hug her. To keep her near him so that he knew that she was safe. He didn't want his nightmares to come true just as much as Hermione was scared hers would.

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Hermione made her way quietly thought the corridors as she walked towards Gryffindor Tower. Madame Pomfrey had been surprisingly quiet as she received her dreamless sleep potion. She had made sure that Hermione knew the risks of taking large amounts of the potion and that she wasn't to take it before she was back in her room, ready for bed. She had said little else, just watching her with pity-filled eyes as she left the hospital wing. However, Hermione was unsure if she was looking at her like that because of her need for the potion or because of the rumors. She wasn't sure that she wanted to know.

She stopped in front of the Fat Lady who was giggling with the woman in the portrait next to her. Whatever she was about to say died on the portraits lips as soon as she spotted Hermione. She had a sinking feeling that it was about her. "Finally decided to show up before curfew, have we." She said looking down at Hermione.

"Pickleberries." Hermione said ignoring her. She was tired of people talking her. She was tired of people acting like it didn't hurt her when then did. She was tired and now with the vial in her robe pocket she could finally get some peace.

The portrait swung open and Hermione climbed through into the common-room. Several people were still awake, but seemed kind enough not to say anything to her. She figured that it had something to do with the fact that Ginny was one of them. She had heard that Ginny had threatened to hex anyone she had heard talking about Hermione and her brother. And she knew for a fact that both George and Fred had already hexed several students who had questioned them both, not being able to tell the two apart. She herself had to hold Ron and Harry back several times and fight off the urge to get even herself.

She gave Ginny a quick wave, sending her a grateful smile and made her way up to the sixth year girl dorms. Lavender and Parvarti were still awake and she stifled a groan at the sight of them.

"Hi Hermione, been out late again?" Lavender asked causing Parvarti to giggle.

"I was just helping Professor Lupin." Hermione said pulling her nightgown out of her trunk.

"And George wasn't jealous?" Parvarti asked.

"No, not that I know of." Hermione said through her teeth. Lavender and Parvarti were hard to deal with at times when she was in her best of moods. She really didn't want to have to deal with them right now. "But it's not as if I was there for fun." She said, "I was helping him grade papers and plan lessons."

"Still…if I was in your position, I think I'd want to spend all my free time with George." Lavender said.

"He is awfully cute." Parvarti said.

"I'll be sure to tell him you think so." Hermione said as she piled her dirty clothes for the house-elves to take away. She never left it scattered around the room like Lavender did, she didn't want to have to make the house-elves work to find it.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to go to bed." She said pulling the curtains around her bed. She could no longer hear what they were saying, as she had placed a silencing spell on the curtains a long time ago, but she knew that they were talking about her. They wouldn't care that she could hear them, they never did.

But at the moment Hermione didn't care. She looked down at the vial in her hands and felt relief. She was finally able to be at peace at night and even Lavender and Parvarti couldn't bring her down from that high. Hermione drank down the vial, ignoring the taste, and laid back down. She was asleep within minutes and for the second time in months, she wasn't awoken by nightmares.

------------------------

Over the next few days Harry watched Hermione carefully, trying to figure out for himself what was wrong. But it seemed as if the more he watched her, the more she started acting more like herself. She was less spacey; she paid more attention in class, and seemed happier as she discussed class work with him and Ron. She still cringed when she heard someone talking abut her and George, she had even hexed several Slytherin fourth years when she heard them talking about her, but those times when she wasn't thinking about what people were saying about her, she seemed different. Like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, he just didn't know what.

He tried to discuss it with Ron again, but he hadn't wanted to talk to him about it. Harry could tell that part of the reason was because he thought he was going to bring up his feelings about Hermione. It was harder now that they were out in the open. Harry had always known about them, he was pretty sure he realized Ron liked her long before Ron realized he did, but it had been an unspoken agreement to never mention it before. Ron now feared that that agreement had been broken.

"Hermione you haven't touched your dinner." Ginny said from across from her.

"I'm not really that hungry." Hermione said forcing down a bite of chicken.

"Are you sure your alright?' Harry asked. While she had been calm and happy the last few days, as the day progressed she seemed to get more anxious and jumpy but Harry didn't know why. It was a sudden change that they all had noticed, even Ron had mentioned it.

"I'm fine." Hermione said waving her hand dismissively. "My stomach's just been a little upset today."

"Cramps?" Ginny asked causing Harry, Ron, and George to blush and to look away.

"Something like that." Hermione said sharing a smile with Ginny. If there was one way to get them to shut up it was to mention that. Ron instantly turned red and Harry always went quiet, unsure of what to say.

In truth, Hermione was fine. While her stomach did hurt, it was her nerves behind it, nothing else. Tonight was to be her first lesson with Professor Snape and she was incredibly anxious. Hermione didn't want anyone poking around in her head, especially Professor Snape. She had tried to ask Harry about the lessons he had had with Professor Snape, but she had trouble coming up with a subtle way to ask him and she didn't have the nerve to ask him upfront, afraid of what he might ask. She had read every book that she could find in the library, but that had only added to her nervousness. They had described how brutal it could be to have someone force there way into your head and how hard of a skill it was to master. She feared that she would not be up to the task and that she would fail miserably.

"Can we change the subject please?" Ron asked still looking uncomfortable.

"Fine with me." Hermione said shoving her plate away. "I have to go anyways."

"Isn't it early for your teacher aid duties?" George asked.

"Yeah, but you know it takes longer to get down to the dungeons then it does Remus's." she said standing up, "And I don't want to make Professor Snape angry by being late."

"I'd walk you, but I have detention." George told her.

"What did you do to get detention….No never mind. I don't want to know." Hermione said.

"I'll walk with you." Harry said quickly standing up as well. He had been looking for an opportunity to talk to her alone, but it seemed like George was almost always around her now. He had found out about what happened with Malfoy in the hallway and had barely left her side since. Harry couldn't blame him, he didn't want her left alone either, but it made talking to her much harder.

"Okay." Hermione said. She had resigned to the fact that the boys didn't trust her to walk anywhere alone anymore.

"So what exactly do you do when you're helping Snape?" Harry asked.

"Well normally he has me keeping a running inventory, so he knows when he has to know when he needs to order more ingredients." She explained, choosing her words carefully. Technically she wasn't lying. That was what she had done in the past.

"Is that all?" Harry asked.

"Well, no." Hermione said. "All the teachers have me doing different things. He's let me help him brew potions a few times. That was fun." She glanced over to see Harry looking at her oddly. "What?" she asked.

"It's just….Fun? With Snape?"

"It's not fun because I'm with him." Hermione explained, "I just like what I'm doing. Last month he even let me help him with the Wolfsbane Potion. You wouldn't believe the amount of work that goes into it."

"Can we change the subject?" Harry asked. "Because all this talk about Snape is making my skin craw."

"Professor Snape isn't that bad Harry." She told him, "You just have to get used to his style of teaching. Surely you learned that during occlumency last year." She said glancing over at him quickly. He didn't seem to have noticed her stumble over her words.

"Oh yeah, because that ended so well." Harry said rolling his eyes, trying to squash down the guilt he always felt whenever he remembered his failure to learn occlumency when he had the chance. He only hoped that it didn't come back to haunt him even more then it already was. "Having him force himself into mind and then taunt with what he saw, that's a definite way to improve teacher and student relations."

Hermione remained quiet, quickly looking away. She had hoped to get some insight about what to expect tonight. Instead she had upset Harry, dragging bad memories to the forefront of both of their minds, and in the process only made herself more uneasy about tonight's lessons.

"Sorry Hermione." Harry said quietly. "I didn't mean to snap."

"Not a problem." Hermione said smiling at him. He couldn't help but grin back at his friend.

----------------------------

"Bye Harry." Hermione said entering the classroom. Professor Snape was already waiting at his desk for her as she shut the door from behind her.

"Good evening Professor Snape." Hermione said. She received a nod in response as he continued to grade papers. She sat down in the front row and waited for him to finish quietly. She had learned her lesson about interrupting him.

After a few minutes he put down his papers and looked up at her. "Are you prepared for this evening's lessons?" he asked her.

"Yes sir." She said quietly. Truthfully, she didn't think she was. She didn't think she'd ever be prepared for something like this.

"I'm sure that you have already read all the books in the library pertaining to the subject." Professor Snape said and she hoped that in the dim light of the dungeons he couldn't see her blush. "But you need to understand that Occlumency is an extremely difficult thing to learn and it will take more time and dedication than you normally put into things."

She nodded her head but didn't say anything.

"I'm not sure what Mr. Potter may have told you about our lessons last year but I can assure you that ours will be different. For one thing Potter had a very different connection with the Dark Lord and he had less control over what he did and didn't see. However he had a bad worth ethic and failed miserably at controlling any aspect of it. I should hope that you do better."

"Yes, sir." She said through gritted teeth. She much preferred the silence that they normally worked in then this.

"The purpose of these lessons is not only to prevent others from entering your mind, but to hopefully learn more about your dreams and there cause." He explained. "In these lessons I will attempt to enter your mind and search for connected thoughts. Do not allow me access to those memories by any means necessary, do you understand?"

"Yes, sir." She explained trying to process everything that he had just said.

"For now we will just focus on you breaking the connection. Once I believe that you are at an acceptable place in doing that, we will move on. Do you have any _brief_ questions Miss Granger?"

"No sir, not at the moment." She said.

"Good. There is no way to prepare for this other than to simply clear your mind. It is not easy task, but I promise you that despite what Mr. Potter may have said, it is not that difficult when you actually listen and do what I say."

"Yes sir." She repeated.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be." She mumbled standing up. Professor Snape stood directly across from her his wand arm raised slightly.

"What was that Miss Granger?" he asked.

"I said yes, sir." She lied.

"Good. Clear your mind."

Hermione closed her eyes and tried to push everything out of her mind, concentrating at nothing at all. She opened her eyes for just a moment to see Professor Snape sneering down at her, before he raised his wand. She heard him call out _"Legilimens!" _before she felt him force himself into her mind.

She heard a whisper of a word, though she didn't know what it was, and the room began to spin until she was back in the girl's bathroom in first year. She was crying alone in the stall, wishing for someone to find her and tell her that it was okay. And then she was in the sixth year bath, after everything that happened in Hogsmeade, wanting the exact same thing. But knowing even if she got it, it wouldn't make any difference. She wouldn't believe them.

Then with another swirl the bathroom transformed into Grimmauld Place, as she flinched at the portrait of Sirius's mother called her foul names. The scene changed and she was back in the dungeons, for a brief moment thinking that it was all over, but there were others around her looking between her and Professor Snape. "I don't remember asking you to show off, Miss Granger." She could feel her cheek ignite as the other students snickered around her.

She didn't want him to see this. She didn't want him to know how much simple words could hurt her. But the images kept coming. Ron's many insults over the years, Mrs. Weasley's disappointment at her relationship with George, Remus's not being able to meet her eyes after hearing the rumors about her and George, and then Malfoy leering down at her, and she was angry again. Angry, at all those who had hurt her, and angry with Snape for making her relive them again. She had a brief image of slapping Malfoy in third year and lighting Snape's cloak on fire in first and felt happiness at the thought of hurting them back, however briefly, before she felt Snape leave her mind.

She was on her knees in front of him, clutching her head in pain. She vaguely noticed that he had staggered a few steps back and was watching her carefully. She didn't make a move to get up, as her head was still killing her, but she looked away.

"That was….that was good Miss Granger." Professor Snape said as he looked down at her. "You showed me the images you wanted me to see, not allowing me to choose them on my own. For your first attempt that was…acceptable. Shall we try again?"

"Yes, sir." She said standing back up. She closed her eyes, and tried to clear her mind again. This time it was much harder. Everything that she had seen was still running through her mind. That had hurt, much more then she thought it would.

"_Legilimens_!" he called. And she was twelve years old again and lying to her parents carefully avoiding their gaze. She couldn't tell them what had really happened. They would never let her go back. And then she was hiding her time turner in her robes, telling Ron that she had been there all along…She was in Snape's personal stores trying to find the proper potion ingredients for Polyjuice potion…. She was back at the Summer Cottage, outside with George. He was holding her hand and caressing her face. And then Viktor took his place as the room changed around them. And it was Viktor who kissed her instead of George, and this time she didn't push him away. Then she was falling, the world spinning around her as George called out for her, catching her in his arms. And she was back in her dreams, Deatheaters watching her, grabbing her from all directions as she screamed. There was a cold laugh and then it was all gone. She was staring at the dungeon floor, on her hands and knees. She knew she hadn't been able to force him out of her mind this time. She hadn't even had the chance to try before he had left on his own.

"What was that Miss Granger?" he drawled.

"What do you mean?" she asked looking up at him.

"That last memory, the men in robes."

"You mean the Deatheaters?" Hermione asked pushing herself up off the ground. "It was a dream. But there not like that anymore, they changed…"

"But that's how they were originally?" He asked her.

"Yes." She said.

"I think that is enough for tonight." He told her, still staring at her oddly. "Your first attempts have gone well."

"But I never—"

"Why don't you start on the inventory for this week." He said. "You'll have time."

"Yes sir." She said turning to go towards the cupboard.

"And I will be checking your pockets before you go." He called after her.

---------------------------------

Hermione was thoroughly embarrassed as she walked back from Snape's office. He hadn't been joking before, he had made her turn out her pockets before she could leave and had even cast several spells to make sure she hadn't hidden anything else anywhere on her body. It had been humiliating, especially because she knew that hadn't been the only thing he had seen. She was dreading the day that he moved on from that memory and onto another.

She also couldn't help but wonder what he had seen in her dreams that had made him stop. What was it that had caused that look in his eyes? That look that almost appeared as concern for her.

Somewhere between telling her friends lies, she had began to believe them herself. Without being plagued by dreams every night she had allowed herself to believe that everything was going to be okay, that maybe she really had been making too much over nothing. That look had sent all her hopes shattering to the ground. Because when Severus Snape of all people looked at you like that, you knew something was wrong.

Hermione entered the common room feeling physically and emotionally drained. Her knees throbbed as well from the dungeon floors and she was sure that she would have a bruise tomorrow. Her normal routine had taken more time then normal, her mind being elsewhere, and she had often had to redo her work. Snape hadn't made any comments about it, but even that hadn't been a comforting thought to her because she knew what it meant. Her mind ached from all the possible scenarios going round and round in her head.

Hermione was halfway across the room when she heard a noise behind her. Wand in had, she turned slowly expecting the worst. Instead of the attack she had expected, she saw not one, but two red headed and one dark haired boy. Rolling her eyes at her friends and their over protective behavior she turned back around and went upstairs. As much as she liked knowing that they were there, that they would always look out for her, she wanted them to realize that she didn't always need them to be. That she could look out for herself and didn't need to be protected from everything. A night sleeping on the couch hopefully allow them realize that.

She fell into a restless sleep that night, no dreamless sleep potion to chase the nightmares away. Her nightmares and memories intertwining she screamed out into the night but because of her silencing ward, no one could hear her.

* * *

_**A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out! I kept meaning to work on all my stories, I just never had the time. But here it is. I'm not completely happy with it, it came out a lot different then I thought it would in places, but I wanted to get this out while I can. Hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter out much sooner. **_

_**Sorry about any spelling, grammar, or other errors. I don't have a beta for this story and as I've stated many times before that's just not my thing. Though I did try to go through this chapter several times, so hopefully I caught most of my mistakes. **_

_**Thank you so much to all my reviewers. You're so incredibly nice. I try to respond to everyone but if I miss someone I'm sorry, and I can't respond to anonymous reviewers but I love getting reviews from you as well. Speaking of which (shameless plug)….Please review! I love hearing what you guys think of the story and I love to hear ideas from my readers. I've been known to incorporate things into the story. So please push the little button! **_


	8. Chapter Seven: The Unknown

_**Chapter Seven: **_

_**The Unknown**_

****

_**Come into my world,  
See through my eyes  
Try to understand,  
Don't want to lose what we have  
We've been dreaming  
But who can deny?  
It's the best way of living  
Between the truth and the lies.**_

_**-See Who I Am by Within Temptation**_

****

"George? Where are we?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know." He said gripping her hand a little tighter. "This wasn't supposed to be where we were port-keyed to."

"I think we should leave George." Hermione said quietly. She could barely see anything in the darkness and what little she could make out was unfamiliar and frightening. They shouldn't be there, that much was clear.

"I'll take us back." He said wrapping his arms around her, preparing to apparate them both back to Hogwarts gates.

"George?" Hermione asked when nothing happened.

"I can't apparate." He whispered and Hermione stiffened in his arms. This wasn't good, no, this wasn't good at all.

A twig snapped behind them and they both whipped around. All Hermione could see was darkness.

"Someone of your intelligence should know better." A voice came from behind her.

"Silly girl, don't you know better than to play in the dark?" the voice was to their right now.

"How do you always manage to find yourself in these situations? When are you ever going to learn?" The voice came from the left.

"What's going on? Whose there?" George called stepping in front of Hermione.

"Is it really a good idea to call the unknown out?" The voice was right in front of them now, causing Hermione to take a step back.

"George, quiet." Hermione said putting a hand on his arm, pulling him back. She was beginning to see figures out in the distance, grouped in with the trees. They were getting closer.

"Do you really want to know what we are?"

They were surrounded. Hermione knew they were.

"This is what you get for playing in the darkness."

Hermione spun around but she couldn't tell where the voices were originating from. The voices echoed in the forest around them, becoming louder with each word.

"There's never anything good to find in the dark. You should know that better then anyone Miss Granger."

"_Avada Kedavra." _

A flash of green lit up the sky and Hermione felt George's hand slip from her own. The thud of his now lifeless body echoed in the now silent forest and Hermione couldn't breathe. She wanted to scream, but no sound came.

She fell to her knees, crawling through wet leaves to reach him. He wasn't dead. He couldn't be dead. "Wake up George!" Hermione said shaking him, "Please George, wake up."

He didn't move. He wouldn't open his eyes, no matter how much she begged him too.

"Nothing good ever comes from the dark." The voice came. This time it was much closer.

"Why do you choose to keep us there?"

Hermione looked up from George's body to see someone else there, their dark robes disguising who they were.

"Why do you keep us hidden?" The words were soft but they echoed loudly in Hermione's mind, reminding her, taunting her with the knowledge that this was her fault, that it was her choices that had led them there.

A high pitched scream pierced the air. Behind her Hermione saw Mrs. Weasley on the edge of the forest, she could just make out the shape of Hogwarts in the distance behind her. She was sure that it hadn't been there a moment before.

"How did…" She turned back around, the words dying on Hermione's lips. The hooded figure was gone.

Mrs. Weasley screamed again, falling to her knees beside Hermione. She was crying hysterically, her hand reaching out for George's own. "What…what happened?" she stuttered.

"I don't…I don't know." Hermione whispered. "They just—"

"What did you do?" Mrs. Weasley's head snapped up, her angry tear filled eyes piercing Hermione where she was. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

Footsteps came from behind her and she turned to see Mr. Weasley running towards her, Fred, Ginny and Ron close behind him. "George! George!" he called.

"You've killed him!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed, clutching his hand to her face. "You've killed us all."

"Is that why you keep us hidden?" the voice asked. The figure was standing before her in the woods. Only she could see it there. "Because this will happen?"

"What did you do?" Hermione was forcefully turned around, forced to look into those familiar blue eyes. Eyes that looked so much like his, but they were alive and they were angry. Angry in a way his eyes had never been. "What did you do?" Fred demanded.

"I didn't do anything." Hermione said, her voice quivering. His grip on her arms was so tight.

"Don't lie to me." He said shaking her forcefully.

He looked so much like George. But he wasn't George, she reminded herself. He could never be George. He was gone. Gone because of her.

"You should have stayed hidden in the dark." The voice whispered in her ear.

-------------------------

A scream died on Hermione's lips as she rocketed forward and panting for breath. She could feel tears prickling at her eyes but pushed them away, focusing on the person hovering over her.

"Are you alright Hermione?" Parvarti asked her eyebrows contorting in concern, marring her normally perfect face.

Forcing a small smile, Hermione met the girl's eyes. "I'm fine." Hermione said setting up. She must have looked a right state for Parvarti of all people to notice. "Just a silly dream is all."

"George wanted me to tell you that he's waiting for you downstairs to go to Hogsmeade. So are Harry and Ron." Parvarti told her. "Do you want me to tell them to go on without you?"

"No, I'll be down in a few minutes." Hermione said rubbing at her eyes. "Thanks Parvarti."

Hermione quickly climbed out of bed, grabbing the first thing of clothes she could find. Parvarti had already returned downstairs to pass along the message but Lavender was still in the room, putting the final touches on her make-up, and she didn't want her to see her cry. She would ask too many questions, tell too many people…

Hermione locked the bathroom door behind her, muttering a silencing charm. The first tear drop had already fallen; she knew she wouldn't be able to stop the rest. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have forgotten her sleeping potion?

She slammed her hands down roughly on the porcelain sink, but the stinging in her hands only made the tears fall harder. She had seen him die. She had seen the life drain out of him. He had died right in front of her and she hadn't been able to do anything to stop it. Just like in all her other dreams, no one had been there to save her. To save him.

She felt empty inside, like the dream had taken something away from her. Logically she knew that it had been a dream, that downstairs George was wondering why she was taking so long, but the image of his blank eyes was still engraved in her mind and a voice in the back of her mind was shouting that it would destroy her if she lost him. That it would destroy Mrs. Weasley, his family, Fred; that she alone wouldn't loose him, the world would. She could never live with that if it happened. She would never be able to live down Mrs. Weasley's haunted eyes, Fred's denial. She couldn't do that.

She didn't know how she was going to spend the day with him today. She didn't want to have to lie when he asked her if she was okay. She didn't want to see the images from her dreams every time she looked into his eyes. She didn't want to have to explain why she was crying when he hadn't done anything at all. She couldn't keep doing this.

------------------------------

The moment Hermione stepped off of the stairs and into the common room she was bombarded with questions.

"Where were you?" George asked her.

"We were worried." Harry told her.

"We thought you didn't come back to the common room last night." Ron said.

"I'm fine." Hermione said quietly, though Harry didn't believe her. There were bags under her eyes and she seemed overwhelmed by their presence and want for answers, much different from the girl he had been expecting. The girl who had always been able to handle things herself, who made a point to stand up to anyone she thought was going over the line. And Harry himself thought they might be doing that. It probably wasn't fair to gang up on her, all three of them together.

"Why didn't you wake us up?" George asked, "When we woke up and it was daylight outside I was scared to death."

"It was late George." Hermione told him. She didn't have the energy to lie to them. "I had just come back from a trying night with Professor Snape and I really didn't want to have to deal with the three of you at that moment or any of the rumors that might have been started this time." She said massaging her temples. A part of her wanted to just go back upstairs and crawl into bed. She felt as if she hadn't slept at all.

"So this is about Snape again?" George asked quietly.

"This has nothing to do with Professor Snape!" Hermione said louder than originally intended. "It has to do with the fact that I can make it back from the dungeons without help. It has to do with the fact that despite what everyone thinks I can take care of myself. If you're so worried about saving some, start looking out for yourself!"

The spark was back and while Harry cringed at the angry voice, partially directed towards him, he couldn't help but be thankful that it was.

"Hermione we never—" Ron began.

"Look I get it." Hermione said in a much calmer tone. "What happened at the bookstore was scary. The idea of someone trying to hurt me, to hurt any of us," she said her eyes lingering on George, "It's scary. But you can't protect me from everything. You just can't."

--------------------------

The four walked in silence as they made their way to the Entrance Hall to meet Fred and Ginny. Hermione and George were holding hands but there was a distance between them, Harry could tell and he couldn't help but think it was about more then what happened in the common-room.

"Ah, Miss Granger, there you are." Hermione turned around, dropping George's hand in the process, and saw Madame Pomfrey coming down the hall towards them.

"I didn't see you last night." She said.

"I'm sorry Madam Pomfrey." Hermione said looking around nervously. She didn't want her to say anything to make them suspicious. "Time got away from me while I was helping Professor Snape and it completely slipped my mind. I'll make sure to see you tonight."

"I'm sure you will." Madame Pomfrey said with a knowing smile. "But I was actually wondering if you could pick up a few potion ingredients for me when you're in Hogsmeade, for the sleeping potions."

"Of course." Hermione said quickly taking the list from the woman's hands. "No problem."

"Thank you dear." She said turning back around.

"They have you working all the time now, don't they?" George asked, there was a twinge of guilt in his voice.

"I don't mind." Hermione said quietly looking down at the list of ingredients in her hands.

-------------------------------

When they reached the entrance to Hogsmeade Hermione took immediate notice to the Aurors patrolling the area, watching the students carefully.

"So where's everyone headed too?" Harry asked.

"Well Ron's taking me to the Three Broomsticks to meet up with Dean." Ginny said rolling her eyes, "Apparently he doesn't trust Dean to get me there himself."

"To be fair, none of us have ever trusted you alone with Dean." Fred told her with a grin. "Its time you accept that fact."

"Whatever." Ginny said. "Come on Ron. If you're coming, start walking."

"Don't forget, you guys promised to meet me there in an hour." Ron told them, slowly beginning to follow Ginny. "I don't fancy spending any longer then that watching the two of them making googley eyes at each by myself."

"Don't worry, we'll be there." Harry called back to him.

"We were thinking that we'd head over to Zonko's." George said turning to Hermione. "You know, check out the competition. But I know that you need to go to the apothecary, so…"

"It's fine." Hermione told her, "Harry can take me. That's alright, isn't it Harry?"

"Yeah." Harry said quickly, "Don't worry about it." This would give him the chance to be alone with Hermione that he had been hoping for all week.

"Great." Fred said with a large smile. "Come on George, lets go see if we can sabotage something." He said nodding in the direction of Zonko's.

"Don't let me hear about anything blowing up." Hermione said giving George a peck on the cheek.

"No promises." George told her with a cocky grin.

"Come on Harry." She said grabbing his arm and pulling him along the opposite way.

As she walked with Harry towards the apothecary, Hermione couldn't help but notice that the Aurors weren't the only ones surveying the village. There were more teachers there then normal, she could see three of the four heads just where she was standing, and there seemed to be several Order members spread throughout the village as well. As she passed Dervish and Banges she could see Moody in the window, looking at the merchandise with his magical eye watching the streets. She knew it should have comforted her that there were people there to protect the, but it didn't. It only forced her to remember why they needed protecting.

"You okay Hermione?" Harry asked, his unexpected question causing her to jump.

"I'm fine." Hermione said forcing a laugh.

"Really?" Harry asked raising an eyebrow.

"I...I guess I keep thinking about everything that happened when I was here last time." Hermione said gripping Harry's arm a bit tighter as an unwanted image of the Lestranges came to mind.

"Maybe we shouldn't have come." Harry said shaking. He hadn't thought of the possibility of her not wanting to come because of what had happened the last time that she had been there.

"No, its okay Harry. I'm going to have to face the horrors of Hogsmeade sometime." Hermione said with a smile.

"Besides I already told Madame Pomfrey I would come." She said stopping in front of the apothecary. "Come on, lets go in." she said reaching for the door.

Hermione grabbed a basket from beside the door and took out the list of ingredients that Madame Pomfrey had given her. Harry watched her silently as she weaved her way in and out of the aisles looking for the proper ingredients. It was obvious that she knew her way around, having been there several times before to pick something up for the professors.

"Do you want to say something?" Hermione asked looking over at him.

"Uhh…"

"Because you keep looking at me like you do." She said carefully placing a vile into her basket.

"Well yeah, there is something that I've been meaning to ask you about." Harry said stepping closer to her. He looked around and the only other person in the store was the clerk, and he seemed more interested in whatever magazine he was reading then he did the two of them.

"Well ask away." She told him.

"It's about Monday." He told her, "When we walked you to Remus's classroom."

"What about it?" Hermione asked, turning to look at him.

"You lied." He said meeting her eyes, "I could see the guilt all over your face."

"Harry—"

"Hermione I don't care why you lied, I just want to know what's going on. You said that you trusted me, but you obviously didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth."

He saw a flicker of sadness cross her face before it turned cold and emotionless. "You know, it's hard enough having everyone else not believe me when I say I wasn't with George." She didn't particularly want to do this, but Harry was pressing issues she didn't want him too. "I would have thought that at least my best friend would have believed me." Hermione told him.

Harry watched as Hermione turned away and went up to the clerk to pay. That wasn't the way he had imagined the conversation going. He had been trying to come up with a way to talk to her all week, and he had finally decided that the direct approach was the best way to confront her. Obviously that hadn't worked as well as he thought it would. He hadn't thought that it was going to be easy, but he thought that he would get through to her in the end. That she would realize he was just looking out for her and that she would tearfully confess everything that had been going on. But Hermione had never been much of crier, she had always kept her problems close to herself, he should have realized that it would take much more then accusations to get her to talk to him about anything so important.

"Are you ready?" Hermione asked, her voice bringing him out of his thoughts. She had already purchased what she needed and was more then ready to leave.

"Yeah, let's go." He said nodding towards the door.

"Do you want to stop anywhere else?" he asked once they reached the streets. He noticed her gaze shift to the bookstore, her eyes holding an almost haunted look, before she shook her head no. Harry couldn't really blame her.

They made their way silently to the Three Broomsticks where the rest of the group was already waiting for them; it was a much longer walk to and from the apothecary then it was to Zonko's. Hermione took her normal seat next to George but as Harry sat down next to Ron he couldn't help but notice she sat a little farther away from him than normal. If the troubled look on George's face had anything to do with it, he had noticed as well.

--------------------------

Harry continued to watch Hermione the next couple of weeks and he saw that he hadn't been wrong in thinking that she was pulling away from George. She still sat with him at dinner, but she hardly engaged him in conversation, it was always him trying to get her to talk. She would often give him the excuse of having to study, but when he saw her in the library she was frequently staring out the window having completely forgotten about the open book in front of her.

Despite George's insistence that they needed to spend as much time together as possible before the semester ended, Hermione seemed to go out of her way not too. Harry considered talking to her about it, but she had just gotten over the last time that he had tried to get her to talk to him, he didn't want to push his luck again.

But as she came into the common room he couldn't help but notice that she came directly over to him and Ron, barely sparing a glance towards the other side of the room where George was setting with Angelina and Fred. It hadn't been the first time she had done that recently.

Hermione sat down next to Ron, giving a disapproving look at the game of wizard's chess that they were playing. They had been given tons of homework, and she knew for a fact that neither of them had started on it. She had her teacher's aid duties and occlumency lessons, and she was already half-way done with it. She sighed deeply, knowing that they would wind up waiting until Sunday night to do it, and rubbed her temples.

"You okay?" Harry asked her.

"Yeah, it's just a little headache." She said forcing a smile. "I think I'm just going to go to bed." She had had a long night of being forced to relive bad memories and Professor Snape's taunts. On some level she wanted to believe that he was trying to give her the determination to prove him wrong, to finally succeed in pushing him out of her mind, but right now all it did was make her want to agree in Harry and Ron's assessment that he was greasy git who enjoyed her pain. Truth was it was probably a bit of both.

"You sure?" Ron asked. "I almost done beating Harry. You can play me when were done. We both know you're more of a challenge than Harry."

"Hey! I've been getting better." Harry said.

"But still not good enough." Ron said moving one of his own pieces. "Checkmate." He said causing Hermione to laugh. "So how about it Mione, feel like a game?"

"No, I think I'm gonna head up but thanks for the offer, Ron." She said with a smile, causing him to blush. Harry hoped George wasn't still watching. "I'll see you two tomorrow." She said standing up.

"G'night." Ron called after her.

"Night." Harry said watching her climb the stairs towards the girl's tower. "Have you noticed Hermione acting odd lately?" he asked, his eyes not leaving the stairs where she had been just moments ago.

"You mean like just now?" Ron asked as he began resetting the chess board, "She's always like that when she gets back from helping Snape."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked his eyes narrowing on his friend.

"Well she's always acting funny when she gets back lately." Ron said, "She usually goes straight to bed and if she doesn't she's always real spacey, like she has something else on her mind. Haven't you noticed?"

"I guess…I just never made the connection before." Harry said. "She never really does tell us what she does when she's there, but knowing Snape its no picnic." He hated to think of Snape demeaning her, calling her fowl names and making her do things like scrubbing caldrons until her hands were raw or collecting the eyes of newts for potion making.

"You don't think Snape did something, do you?" Ron asked.

"Well I certainly wouldn't put it past him." Harry said darkly.

"So, what are we going to do about it?" Ron asked.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

"Well I don't know about you, but I don't plan to let Snape keep doing whatever it is he's doing. So what do you think we should do?" Ron asked. "Should we ask her about it?"

"She wouldn't tell us." Harry said shaking his head. "She's been defending him all year, if he did do something to upset her she wouldn't want to have to tell us she had been wrong. We could follow her I guess…"

"I don't think Snape would exactly open the door for us to come in and find out just how horrible he is." Ron said.

"He would if he didn't know we were there." He told him with a grin. Next Friday they would go down the dungeons and find out what really happens every time she goes there.

---------------------

"You need to practice more." Professor Snape said in a stern voice. He offered her his hand and pulled her up of the ground. She was going to have to learn to block him out of her mind soon; someday someone was going to notice the bruises on her knees.

"You said it yourself; you're beginning to have some resistance to the potions. Soon you will become immune to them and they won't be able to stop these nightmares from coming." He told her.

"Yes sir." Hermione said quietly. It wasn't that she wasn't trying; it was just much harder then she thought it was going to be. Every time she believed that she had successfully cleared her mind, unwanted thought and images began to creep their way to the forefront of her mind, making Professor Snape privy to more information about her personal life then she was comfortable with.

"Contrary to what you may believe, I'm not telling you this to demean you." He told her. She noticed that his comment was lacking his usual sneer. "I am simply warning you. If anyone was to gain the knowledge of what I've seen, they could very easily set a trap for you."

Hermione nodded her head in understanding and took a step back in preparation.

"Now let's try again." He said raising his wand. "_Legilimens_!"

"_You should have stayed hidden in the dark."_ The voice was echoing in her mind as she was forced to meet the eyes of a tearful Mrs. Weasley and an angry Fred. It was her fault. It was all her fault…. "You lied. I could see the guilt all over your face." Harry was looking at her with such open and honest eyes, just wanting his friend to open up to him. To trust him. But she couldn't do it, she couldn't tell him. She _wouldn't_ tell him….Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange's haunting faces coming forth front in her mind….Deatheaters robes swirling around her as she screamed…And suddenly it was George standing there, leaning down to kiss her, but she quickly turned her cheek reminding herself that it was better this way. The memory of George's lifeless hand slipping from her own began to replay repeatedly in her mind.

Hermione could feel the tears prickling at her eyes. She didn't want to have to deal with this right now, not with Snape's presence in her mind, not with everything still so confusing. "_Expelliarmus_." She shouted, and Professor Snape's want went flying through the air. Hermione stumbled, grabbing onto the nearest desk to keep from falling. She knew using spells wasn't one of the methods he preferred, but he did say to use whatever means necessary.

"That was better, Miss Granger." He said fixing his robes. Hermione hadn't been the only one to stumble. "We will try again." He said crossing the room to retrieve his wand. He bent over to pick it up but stopped suddenly, his hand hovering over his wand as he looked up.

"Professor?" Hermione asked her voice full of concern.

"It appears we are not as alone as we thought."

Before Hermione realized what he had said he had already jumped into action, grabbing his wand off the floor and shooting a silent spell to the corner of the room. He obviously hit his target because two figures crashed to the ground, parts of them hidden by the invisibility cloak they had been wearing.

The breath caught in Hermione's throat. No, no not even they would do something that stupid, Hermione thought shaking her head in denial.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, I suggest you get up before I hex you with something more powerful then that." Professor Snape said his voice dangerously low.

They both stood quickly, their wide eyes still trying to take in the scene before them.

"May I please be excused, Professor?" Hermione asked fighting back tears. She couldn't believe that they had done this, that they would do something so completely stupid, that after six years they still didn't trust her.

"Come to my office a half in hour early next week to make up the time you will miss." Professor Snape said dismissing her.

"Yes sir." She told him quietly. She sent a fearful yet furious glance at Harry and Ron before turning on her heels and leaving. She didn't want to look at them right now, let alone stay while they gave some pathetic excuse for why they had been there in the first place.

"As for the two of you." Snape said turning around to face Harry and Ron. "You have shown disrespect for a professor and a fellow student, as well as interrupting a private tutoring session. A hundred and fifty points from Gryffindor and two weeks of detention with Filch. I'm sure he'll enjoy the company. I will also make sure to notify Dumbledore and your families about this incident. Don't let me catch you in the classroom uninvited again, or it will be a hundred and fifty points _each. _Am I understood?"

"Yes professor." They said in unison.

"Good, now leave."

"Professor why is Hermione learning—" Harry began.

"I told you to leave Mr. Potter." Snape said, sneering down at him. It was obvious that he did not like this turn of events. "I suggest you do so before I'm forced to take off even more points. Surely you don't want to be responsible for that large of a loss to your house."

They both left quickly before he could follow through with the threat.

---------------------------

Harry and Ron made their way back to the common room in silence. Of all the scenarios they had considered, all the outlandish things that they had worked themselves up about, they had never once stopped to consider that something like was happening. That she had deliberately been keeping things from them. That she had kept something as big as this from them. From him.

Thinking about it, Harry realized there had been clues. Hermione had brought up his lessons several times, claiming she was just curious and he had spotted several different times with books from the library on occlumency. She had told him that she was researching it for a paper, obviously she was lying. And that bit of information made him furious. How could she not trust him? Why didn't she tell him? He wouldn't have liked it, but he would have accepted it. He might have even been able to help. Instead she left him out of it, leaving him and Ron to discover it on their own. He was sure she was furious at their discovery as well.

"Do you reckon that's what they've been doing all year?" Ron asked him quietly from beside him. He had been unusually quiet since he had seen her with Snape.

"I suppose so." Harry said.

"Makes sense now." Ron said, "That she was defending him I mean. He's seen her memories, seen everything she obviously doesn't want us to know. One wrong word about the greasy git of the dungeons and he could spill all her secrets."

"I don't think that's it Ron." Harry told him quietly. Snape had been gentler with Hermione then he had ever been with him. He had helped her off the floor, he had let her go when he knew she was upset; they had formed some sort of a bond, that's why she had been defending him all year. That's why he had taken house points from his own house.

Harry shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He didn't want to think about this right now. He just wanted his best friend to explain to him why she had been lying. He just wanted her to say that everything was okay and that there was nothing to worry about. He just wanted someone to say that everything was going to be fine and that Hermione was not going to be taken away from him. By Snape, or by anyone else.

He heard Ron say something and looked up to see that they were already at the Fat Lady's portrait. He hadn't even realized that they had left the dungeons. He glanced over at Ron and wondered if his own face looked as sad and confused as Ron's did. He felt a pang of guilt at not realizing that this was just as upsetting to Ron as it was him. Hermione had lied to them both, had not trusted them both, it had hurt them both.

Harry spotted Hermione across the room the moment he entered the common-room behind Ron. She was talking to George, her cheeks flushing in anger as George spoke to her quietly. Harry had a sinking feeling that whatever she was talking about involved him and Ron. His fears were confirmed as she glared in their direction having realized they were in the room and turned her back on them both as she continued to talk to George.

"I don't want to talk about it" Hermione sighed rubbing her head. "I just want everyone to realize that I can't share everything with them." She said quietly. It was something she wanted George to realize as well.

"Everything will be okay." George told her placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "They were probably just worried; you can't blame them for that."

Hermione let out an unladylike snort but otherwise kept quiet.

"Okay, maybe you can." George said, "But you guys have fought before, everything will work out in the end."

"I don't know George, I'm sorry isn't going to cut it this time."

"What exactly did they do, Hermione?" George asked.

"I said I didn't want to talk about it." Hermione told him.

"I know I just—"

"I'm going to head up to bed." Hermione said.

"What should I tell Harry and Ron?" George asked looking past her to the two boys who had just come in.

"That I don't want to talk to them." She said dropping his hand and walking towards the girl staircase. She could feel Harry and Ron's eyes following her but she didn't care. They didn't just intrude on her privacy; they had intruded on Professor Snape. She could only imagine the amount of points he had taken pleasure in taking from Gryffindor before they had left. She hoped that they had gotten detention as well, preferably with Snape so they got the worst punishment, right now she felt like they deserved it.

She had kept her occlumency lessons a secret for a reason, a while they might not have agreed with her reason, they should have respected it, respected her. She didn't push them; she didn't try to force Harry to talk about Sirius's death no matter how much she wanted too, she didn't try to figure out why Ron had been acting so weird since the Halloween Ball. She accepted that they had to figure things out on their own, that not everything was meant to be shared with your friends. Now if only they would understand that as well.

Once he was sure that she was gone, George had made his way over to Harry and Ron, who were still standing dumbly by the portrait hole as if waiting for Hermione to come back and say something to them.

"Care sharing what the two of you did?" he asked them.

"I don't think its any of your business." Ron told him.

"When my girlfriend comes back practically in tears, and tells me that it's the two of yours fault, I intend to make it my business." George told him. It was rare to see George so serious, and that made the realization of what they had done finally sink in for Harry. They both had been so worried about what could be happening that they never stopped to consider what would happen once they went, once they found out what had been happening. They hadn't stopped to think about what Hermione would think.

"Now, would one of you care to tell me what's going on, or should I call Fred over here to help me test some new products on you until you do?" George asked.

"You can't threaten us with that stuff." Ron told him. "So just shove off, we haven't had the best of night's either."

"Yeah, and according to Mione that's your own fault."

"_Her_mione is wrong then." Ron snapped at him.

"Hermione's never wrong; you should know that by now." George told him. "But you know what...I don't care what the two of you did. Just apologize to Hermione the next time you see her. I don't care if you have to beg on your knees, I don't want to see her crying over the two of you again."

"She was crying?" Harry asked quietly.

"She was close to it." George said. "Rambling on about the two of you following her into places you were never supposed to go...finding out things...You guys didn't catch her with some other bloke did you?" He asked, suddenly looking nervous.

Harry suddenly felt bad for him, it didn't seem like Hermione was being completely honest with anyone right now. Poor George probably thought that she went and found herself a new guy, someone she had more in common with.

"No, there was no guy." Harry said shaking his head.

"Not unless you count Snape anyway." Ron said quietly so only Harry could hear.

George looked relived, but not entirely happy. Another guy would have at least explained her strange behavior, no matter how much it would have hurt.

"I'm going to bed." Harry said, suddenly feeling very tired. He hadn't realized just how much they had hurt her. He was angry that she hadn't trusted him, but hadn't he just done the same thing. He hadn't believed her when she said that she could handle Snape herself and had followed her.

"Yeah, me too." Ron said.

"Just don't forget to talk to her." George said, "Just apologize and tell her you know what you did was wrong. She'll forgive you, she always does."

"Don't worry we will." Harry told him. But they never had the opportunity.

When they came to breakfast the next day she wasn't in the Great Hall and she didn't make an appearance the entire time they were there. They didn't have class, so they went looking for her at the library but she wasn't' there either. They tried the owlery, the astronomy tower, and the grounds but they couldn't find her. Hermione knew this school almost as well as the twins, and if she didn't want to be found, she wouldn't be.

-----------------------------

Hermione kept her distance the rest of the weekend. She saw Harry and Ron but she never spoke with to them. Never stayed too long in their presence, never being in the same room unless there were enough people they couldn't confront her about what they had seen. They wanted to talk to her, to find out what was going on, but they knew better then to bring up such a sensitive subject out in the open. They hoped that if they gave her some space she would come to them, but as she brushed past them in Defense against the Dark Arts Monday morning, choosing to set with Neville and Hannah Abbott over them, they began to have doubts.

"I guess this means we're gonna have to take are own notes as well." Ron said pulling out his parchment.

"I think we're going to be taking are own notes for a long time." Harry told him. Hermione was nothing if not determined.

"She has to talk to us eventually." Ron said, "We're her best friends."

Harry snorted disdainfully. "Sure we are," He told him, "That's why she told us about her….lessons." he said looking around to make sure that no one was listening.

Ron didn't answer instead he pulled out his quill and ink from his bag silently.

Remus came in a few minutes later, his eyes sweeping over the students. Harry saw him frown as his attention lingered over Hermione setting in an unfamiliar seat before looking at the empty space between Harry and Ron. He hadn't been the first person to notice Hermione avoiding them. Breakfast had been spent awkwardly trying to explain why she was setting so far away from them and why George was constantly glaring in their direction. Most people listened to them when they told them to bugger off, but others, like Lavender and Parvati, didn't leave it at that. "She's been upset all weekend. Are you two the reason she cried herself to sleep?" Parvati had asked them. She had seemed almost angry at them and Harry couldn't blame her. If they had made Hermione cry, then he didn't like them much either.

---------------------------------

"That essay is due, in my hands by next Friday." Remus called to the class as they filled out of the room as quickly as they could. "And I expect you to cover all five principles of rematerialization, not just some of them."

"I'm going to stay and talk to Remus." Harry told Ron. "I'll meet you in the Great Hall."

"Alright." Ron said grabbing his bag and hurrying out the door, ready to get to lunch.

"Hello Harry." Remus said as he walked towards his desk. "Did you want to talk about the essay?"

"I wanted to talk, just not about the essay." Harry told him.

"Then why don't we go up to my office?" Remus suggested. "You can leave your things down here."

"Thanks." Harry said quietly following him up the stairs. He needed someone other then Ron to talk about this too, someone he could trust. Remus would be able to help him find a way to fix what he had done.

"How have you been doing Harry?" Remus asked setting down behind his desk.

"Alright, I guess." Harry said.

"Anything particular that you wanted to talk about?" He asked.

"Hermione."

"That name does seem to come up a lot when we talk." Remus told him with a smile. "Something you'd like to share with me?"

"What?" Harry asked confused noticing Remus's knowing smile.

"Never mind." Remus said shaking his head. "Tell me what's going on."

"We were worried about her, Ron and me. She's been acting odd lately, especially after she's gone to her teacher's aid with Snape each Friday night."

"What do you mean odd?" Remus asked setting straighter in his seat.

"More tired then usual, spacey, more quiet than normal…I don't know she's been acting funny all year if we had thought about it. But on Fridays….we just wanted to find out what had been going on. So we followed her."

"And what did you see?" Remus asked, he appeared outwardly calm but his eyes revealed someone worried.

"She was with Snape; he was giving her occlumency lessons."

"What?"

"We followed her in the invisibility cloak and they caught us. She and Snape both were furious."

"Understandably." Remus said quietly.

"But it's been a week and she still won't talk to us." Harry said.

"I did notice you weren't setting together in class." Remus said, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"You know Hermione, when she makes up her mind to do something, she does." Harry said with a wry grin, "This time she decided to avoid us."

"I just thought that he was treating her badly." Harry continued. "You know making her scrub caldrons repeatedly and yelling at her whenever the slightest opportunity to do so came up. I never thought that it would be her learning Occlumency. Why would she be learning Occlumency?" he asked. It had been something he had been wondering a lot lately.

"Honestly Harry, I'm not sure." Remus told him. "I wasn't aware that she was." Harry could tell from his tone of voice that he was telling the truth and that he was trying to fight back his own anger. He apparently didn't like to be kept in the dark either.

"The worst thing was that we never even realized it." Harry said. "Occlumency lessons aren't fun, especially with Snape. I hate that she had to go through that alone, no matter what the reason. We were so distracted by ourselves that she could keep this from us. She's always asking us if were okay, she's always comforting us, me, not the other way around.

"Some best friends we are." He snorted.

"Harry the best advice I can give you is to apologize." Remus told him, "Tell her what you told me. That you were worried and you did something that you shouldn't have and you realize that now. Hermione knows you and Ron do stupid things sometimes, she'll understand. You may just have to wait a few more days until she's willing too."

---------------------------

"I think you might have spelled Animagus wrong." Hermione told Neville with a smile. "And you might want redo your last paragraph, you repeat a couple things, but other than that it's great."

"You think so?" Neville asked with a grin.

"Of course, Neville." She said handing back the paper to the blushing boy.

"Thanks for helping me with this stuff Hermione." Neville told her. "I understand if you would rather hang out with Harry and Ron, or be with George instead of me. You've been helping me for awhile."

"It's no problem, really." She told him. "George has his own friends and a twin to create mischief with. I'm not really in the mood for that right now. And right now I'd much rather be with you then Harry and Ron."

"You guys are fighting again." It was more of a statement then a question.

"You have to be talking, to be fighting." She said quietly.

"Do you…Do you wanna talk about it?" he stuttered.

"That's sweet Neville, but no. Right now, I'd much rather forget about it." She said. She could see the relief written all over his face. "I will however help you with your transfiguration if you want."

"You're working on the Transfiguration essay?" Hannah Abbott asked shyly coming up to the table.

"Yes." Hermione said.

"Do you think you could help me with mine?" she asked.

"Sure." Neville said standing up, "I mean, if Hermione doesn't mind."

"Not at all." Hermione said smiling at the blushing Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. At least someone was happy.

"I'm just going to go grab a couple of books that will help." She told them standing up. "I'll be right back." She said heading towards the back of the library. She quickly glanced behind her to see the two of them talking quietly together and she couldn't help but smile. She was still grinning like an idiot, skimming the titles of the books in the transfiguration section, when Malfoy stepped in front of her.

"Why the long face?" he asked with a smirk. "Or is it always like that. It's so hard to tell with your kind."

She rolled her eyes but chose to ignore him, not wanting to give him the pleasure of knowing he was upsetting her.

"Seems like the Gryffindor trio has finally broken up." He continued, "What happened, Potty and Weasel cheat on you with each other?"

"Shove off Malfoy." Hermione said turning away from him.

"Seems like I hit a sore spot." He said smirking. "What happened, Granger? Suddenly realize you had higher standards then your friends. Probably not, considering who you're dating. So I guess that means they finally recognized you for the filthy little mudblood that you are."

"Why don't you just slither back to your common-room?" Hermione ground out between her teeth.

"Just speaking the truth, you can't blame a guy for that." He said. The annoying smirk had returned to his face, before he turned around and left. She felt the urge to hex him but knew it was unfair to curse someone with their back turned, besides they were in the library, if the curse when astray it could hit something important.

"He's got a point you know." Ginny said from behind her, causing Hermione to jump and spin around.

"Ginny…" She said shaking her head.

"Everyone's been wondering what happened between you three." Ginny continued. "But none of you are willing to tell."

"That's because it's no one business." Hermione said. "I have enough rumors going on right now without explaining why I'm angry with Harry and Ron."

"You have even more by not explaining." Ginny told her, causing Hermione to look away. "Besides, I'm not talking about telling the entire school. I'm talking about telling your friends, telling your boyfriend."

"George doesn't have anything to do with this. And neither do you." Hermione said.

"I just want to know what's going on, Hermione." Ginny said. "You've been avoiding Ron and Harry for a while now. They keep trying to get you alone so they can apologize, but you never stay long enough in the room to let them."

"They violated my trust, Ginny." Hermione told her quietly. "They pushed issues I repeatedly told them to let go of. They followed me with that damn invisibility cloak…" She trailed off before turning around. "I'm not going to forgive them, just because they say sorry."

"But shouldn't you at least give them a chance?" She heard Ginny ask quietly. When she turned back around, she was gone.

If she was honest with herself she knew Ginny was right, that she was deliberately not giving them the chance to explain themselves. She was angry with them, angry at what they did but that wasn't the only reason she was avoiding them.

Right now she had reason to push them away, a reason to say that she didn't want them there. Once she forgave them, they wouldn't understand why she was trying to distance herself from them.

-------------------------

"Hermione! Hermione slow down!" Harry said hurrying down the hallway after her. She wasn't running but she was still a lot farther down the corridor then him.

"Come on Hermione, we're not going to just go away!" Ron called. Hermione seemed to slow down for a moment, before she continued at her previous pace.

"I have to get to Professor Vector's office." She said, still not looking at them. "I have to be there in ten minutes."

"Then why don't you slow down and talk to us, so you get there on time." Ron said finally catching up to her. He had his hand on her arm, stopping her from moving any farther.

"Come on Mione, _please_ just talk to us. Give us a chance to explain." Harry said. And that please almost got to her, made her want to hug him and tell her everything was forgiven. But she didn't.

"I would have thought by now you would have realized that I don't want to talk to you." She said quickly moving out of his grasp. "Now I'm in a hurry."

"We were worried about you." Harry called after her.

"Then why didn't you just ask me?" Hermione asked whipping back around.

"Because we…" Ron was unsure how to finish.

"We didn't think you would tell us." Harry told her.

"So you didn't trust me again?" Hermione asked her voice getting higher. "Oh, that really makes me want to forgive you." She said beginning her walk again.

"Well we were right weren't we?" Harry asked, following her. "You never told us what was really going on."

Hermione stopped suddenly, making Harry almost run into her and Ron into him. She turned back around, a furious look in her eyes. "I didn't tell you, because it was none of your business." She said. "The sooner you realize that, the sooner I'll consider accepting your apology. I've let you be this year, the both of you. I haven't gotten into your business; I haven't tried to make you talk when I knew you didn't want to, no matter how much I wanted too, I realized that not everything in your lives was my business, even if I was your best friend." She said looking between the two of them. "Was it really too much to ask the same of you?"

Harry and Ron gaped at the angry girl, unsure of how to respond. She was right, he knew that, but he had never realized that before. He had never realized what she had been trying to do for them. She had been a comforting presence since Sirius death, in a wonderfully predictable and dependable kind of a way. She hadn't asked him to cry on her shoulder, she hadn't expected him to talk about how she was feeling. She had realized that he wasn't ready to talk, had distracted him with other things…He just hadn't recognized what she was doing before.

Hermione shook her head at the two boys, they didn't get it and she didn't expect them too. She turned to go and almost ran into a body wearing black robes.

"Professor Snape!" she said stepping back in surprise.

"The headmaster sent me to find the three of you; he 'd like to speak with you." He said. "Luckily your loud voices carried off of the walls making it easier to find you."

Hermione blushed as Professor Snape sneered down at her. If she hadn't been embarrassed after what happened at her last occlumency lesson, she was certainly embarrassed now. They had just given Professor Snape another reason not to like the Gryffindor trio. Hermione couldn't help but feel like this time, they deserved it.

---------------------

Harry, Ron and Hermione silently followed Professor Snape into Dumbledore's office, he and Remus were already there waiting for them. Remus offered them all a comforting smile as they took their seats across from Dumbledore.

"Thank you all for coming." He told them. "Lemon drop?" he asked offering the box.

Harry and Ron both politely refused but Ron took one as well as Dumbledore.

"We asked you to come here to talk about the Christmas holidays." He explained. "After the latest gatherings, it has been confirmed that Hermione is in fact a target. One rather high up on their list in fact."

"Lovely." Hermione said looking down at her hands.

"There's no need to worry, Hermione." Remus said with a reassuring smile, "Hogwarts is safe."

"What about when I go home for Christmas?" Hermione asked. "What about my parents?"

"You will be going back to the Burrow with the Weasley's." Dumbledore explained, "As will Harry. Your parents have already been notified already Mr. Weasley. As a precaution we would like for none of you to mention it to your other classmates. If they ask you where you are going for the holidays just say you're going home."

"You think one of our classmates would do something?" Harry asked.

"I'm sure it would be accidental, but there is a chance that they might let something slip. They might be talking to their family or a friend and someone could overhear that shouldn't. Or maybe they wouldn't say anything at all. We can't know and it's better to take precautions." He explained.

"Don't worry" Dumbledore said noticing the worried expressions on Harry and Ron's faces. "The Burrow is one of the safest places to be right now. There are wards all around the house and there will be several Order members staying there throughout your stay. As you know there are already wards around your parent's house Miss Granger, though it is unlikely they will attack when you are elsewhere."

"What do they want with me?" Hermione asked softly. It had been the question she had been thinking about since the beginning of summer. It was the question that no one ever seemed to want to answer.

"Hermione we've been over this…" Harry said guilt apparent all over his face.

"Harry unless you've recently become a Deatheater, I don't think you can answer that question." She snapped at him. She was still angry at him and he wasn't helping his cause by assuming he knew things he obviously didn't. That was why they were currently fighting in the first place.

"We cannot answer that Miss Granger either, as we do not know."" Dumbledore told her quietly. "We are working hard on finding out more, but right now that is all that we can tell you."

"As soon as we know something we'll tell you." Remus said, earning a sharp look from Professor Snape.

"Thank you, professor." Hermione said softly, she continued to stare at her hands not meeting any of the men's gazes. "If you don't mind, I'd like to go back to my room if that's alright. Can someone please inform Professor Vector that I don't think I'm going to make it to her office tonight?"

"Of course, Miss Granger." The Headmaster said with a smile. "Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley you may go too."

Hermione rose from her seat quickly, hoping to escape the stares of the others in the room. They were watching her as if she was going to burst into tears at any moment. She didn't know what they expected, this wasn't news to her. She knew she wasn't safe. Her dreams never let her forget that. This meeting did nothing more then to remind Harry and Ron of another reason to constantly follow her. They were doing it right now as they followed her down the stairs and into the hallway. She knew that this time it was going to be much harder to escape them.

"Will you talk to us now?" Harry asked coming up next to her.

"Is there really an explanation for what you did?" Hermione asked him.

"Of course there is Hermione." Ron said with a small smile. "We always have a reason, even if it's a bad one."

"There's an empty classroom up ahead." Hermione said shaking her head at Ron, "Let's talk in there."

"Alright." Harry said taking her arm and guiding her forward. He didn't want her getting away.

Harry and Hermione went into the classroom first, followed by Ron who quickly shut the door behind them before muttering a silencing spell.

"I figured we wouldn't want anybody overhearing us." He said at Hermione's raised eyebrows.

"Probably not." Hermione said quietly as she hopped up on one of the desk nearby "Now, I think the two of you promised me an explanation for what you did. I for one would like to hear it, it must be fascinating."

"There's no need for sarcasm." Harry said.

"I think I'll decide that for myself." Hermione said glaring at him. "Now start explaining before I start hexing."

"Look Hermione we…we noticed you acting odd after your meetings with Snape." Harry said looking at her intently. "We thought, well we thought that he was being the bastard that we all know he can be. We thought he was treating you unfairly and that you just were saying anything." He continued, "We were just worried."

"Why didn't you just ask me?" Hermione asked with a sigh.

"Probably for the same reason you didn't tell us in the first place." Harry said.

Hermione's face dropped, guilt settling in the pit of her stomach. "I didn't tell you because…well because I thought you'd think it was stupid." Hermione said quickly.

"Stupid?" Ron asked.

"Look, I wanted to learn occlumency." Hermione lied, "I read a lot about it last year when Harry told us about it and I had been thinking about it over the summer. I asked Professor Dumbledore about it when we came back to school and he permitted me to study it with Professor Snape. It really is a useful skill and I thought that once I learned, I might be able to help Harry learn. I know your experience with Professor Snape wasn't that pleasant, but I thought maybe I could teach you instead."

"But my scar hasn't been hurting this year." Harry said shaking his head. "Dumbledore explained that Voldemort has considered it to be a threat now. He has as much control over it as I do. There's no need for occlumency."

"Right now there isn't, but what happens if he starts sending visions again?" Hermione asked, "You may be able to recognize them for what they are but that doesn't mean they won't hurt. It doesn't mean that it won't hurt to see images of things you can't control…" She shuddered slightly, remembering the endless images that she could still see when she closed her eyes, and hoped the boys didn't notice.

"Hermione?" Harry asked.

"Sorry." She said with a small smile, looking up at him. "I just…I just want to be helpful. This was a way that I could be."

"So you didn't tell us because you thought we'd think it was stupid?" Ron asked slowly. Hermione realized that it sounded a bit ridiculous as well, but it was the best she could think of off hand.

"I know it sounds silly but if the two of you heard the way that you talk about Professor Snape sometimes you'd understand."

"I guess I get it." Harry said hopping up on the desk next to Hermione. "I probably wouldn't have understood if you just told me, I'm still not sure I understand it…"

"You don't have to understand it, you just have to trust me. You just have to trust that I have secrets, that I can't and won't tell you everything just like I don't expect you to do the same. I need you to trust that I know what I'm doing."

"Of course we—" Ron began.

"No you don't." Hermione told him, "Or else neither of you wouldn't have been there. I can't promise either of you one hundred percent disclosure on my life. Honestly, I don't think either of you would want that knowledge. But I would never keep something from you with the purpose of hurting you, you know that right?"

"Of course we do." Harry said slowly. The way she was talking, the look in her eyes, it made him think that there was something that she wasn't saying, that she wasn't talking about her occlumency lessons with Snape.

"Good." Hermione said forcing a big smile.

"Then we're friends again? If we set next to you in Defense, you won't go set with Neville?" Ron asked.

"No," Hermione said, "I won't set next to Neville. But you do still have to take your notes."

Ron groaned loudly and Harry couldn't help but smile, some things never changed and for that he was grateful. Things were back to normal. He had figured out what was causing Hermione to act strangely and she had finally forgiven him for it. She had willingly opened up to him. Things weren't perfect, they were still in danger, but when were things ever perfect?

But if things were back to normal, Harry couldn't help but wonder why things still felt so wrong, why Hermione still had a slightly guarded look as she talked with Ron, her best friend. Why she hadn't spoken with them about this before. Why every time he looked at her, he felt her slipping away.

---------------------------

Hermione climbed in the portrait hole after Harry and Ron, shaking her head at something stupid Ron had said. As much as she hated to admit it, didn't want to admit it, she really had missed her best friends. She had missed how Ron could make her laugh without even trying, she had missed Harry's strong presence and the feeling of being needed whenever they had waited too long to do their homework; she missed talking to the people who knew her the best.

"So you two finally convinced her to forgive you." George said coming to stand in front of them. He was wearing a goofy grin that exceeded his twin as he came up beside him.

"About time." Fred said. "I was beginning to think that she was never going to forgive you and you would fail all your classes. Mum wouldn't have liked that."

"Not at all." George agreed. "So what did it take? Begging? Groveling? "

"Did they have to promise you their first born?" Fred asked.

"Nothing quite so dramatic." Hermione said with a small smile.

"We just apologized." Harry said quietly.

"Well that's disappointing." Fred said, shaking his head and walking away.

"George?" Hermione asked and then paused. "Do you…do you think we could go and talk for a moment?"

"Sure." He said with a smile. "I'm just happy things are back to normal. Our dormitory's open if you want to talk there."

"Okay." Hermione said nodding her head. George took her hand in his own and it took all her willpower not to flinch at the memory of her dream. This was the real George, she reminded herself. He was safe, he would be safe; she would make sure of that.

She followed him up the stairs silently, not being able to concentrate on what he was saying. She thought it was something about her and Harry and Ron but she wasn't sure.

"So what did you have on your mind?" George asked guiding her into the room.

"Nothing you're going to like." Hermione mumbled.

"What?" He asked turning back to look at her.

"Nothing, let's just set down." She said gesturing towards his bed.

"Whatever the lady wishes." He told her.

"George…"

"Hermione…" He mimicked with a smile.

"George I know I haven't…been acting like I should lately. I've had a lot going on and I let it get to me and I'm sorry for that." Hermione told him.

"I understand." He said, "I know I can't be the only thing in your life. Though if I could—"

"Please, don't say whatever your about to say." Hermione interrupted him. "I don't deserve it." She said quietly. She glanced down at the comforter hoping to find the courage to say what she needed. "The end of the semester is just a couple of weeks away" she continued, "And I know you want to spend as much time together as possible before you have to leave, but I think that's only going to make it harder to say goodbye. So maybe we should start saying goodbye now."

"What?" George asked. The hurt was written all over his face and knot that had taken permanent residence in Hermione stomach got tighter.

"George, right now everything is so crazy and complicated and you're going to be gone soon, you're not going to be here anymore."

"But I thought that we had this all figure out." George said.

"I just don't think I can do it." Hermione said, "Not with everything that's happening."

"With what's happening? What do you mean with everything that's happening?" George asked her.

"Nothing." She says quickly. "I'm sorry George, I don't mean to make things awkward for you over the holiday or upset you, that's the last thing I want. I hope you know that. I just can't…"

_I can't watch you die because of me. _The words were on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't bring herself to say them. She knew that he wouldn't understand, that he would try to stay. She couldn't allow that.

"Please, just don't hate me." She said instead.

"I could never hate you." He said pulling her into hug. She melted into the embrace, clinging to him as if she would never see him again, like one of them were dying and he could tell that she wasn't telling him the truth, that there was more to it then she was letting on. This was killing her and he wished he could stop it, for the pain it was causing for the both of them, but she had made up her mind and it was obvious she wasn't changing it. He didn't hate her, but he certainly hated her decision.

* * *

_**A/N: There, finally I got this out. I really am sorry about the length it takes sometime but I can't control when I'll have time for it. And this time I actually have a good excuse. My old computer is no more. It died along with most of the things saved on it. So not only did I have to wait until I got a new computer, I had to wait to find all my files that I had saved different places and redo a bunch of things that never got saved in the first place. I had the first half of this written and then I had to redo the whole thing and I didn't really have the time to do that until I got sick. Which is good for you guys but bad for me. **_

_**This was a hard one to write because so much was happening and changing and I needed it go over a large span of time. Hopefully it all came out smoothly and you guys like it. I know I took some liberties with certain things, like the apothecary in Hogsmeade that I don't think is supposed to be there and that they would be having another Hogsmeade weekend so soon. I know that there only supposed to happen four times a year, but for my purposes I'm going to say that they have one every month. This is a fan fiction, so I figured I can get away with this. **_

_**Thank you so much for the reviews, I always love getting them and everyone is so nice. I can't say thank you enough. The next chapters all lined out, so it should be out sooner then this one, but no promises. **_

_**There's in my opinion, a really big clue about the dreams in the wording choices used in the dream at the beginning. The 150 points that Harry and Ron lost if anyone can find it. That and a cookie, but you have to buy that yourself.**_

_**Please Review!!**_

_**P.S. Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes, I'm horrible at that part, which I'm sure you know by now. Review!!**_


	9. Chapter Eight: Branded

_**Chapter Eight:**_

_**Branded**_

_Precious and fragile things_

_Need special handling  
My God what have we done to you_

_We always tried to share_

_The tenderest of care  
Now look what we have put you through_

– **Precious by Depeche Mode-**

"This compartment's empty." Ron said nodding to the open door in front of him.

Harry made to follow Ron into the compartment, but stopped when he realized Fred and George, who had been just ahead of them, had kept walking. Just another of how things had changed within the last few weeks.

George and Hermione had remained civil, friendly even, but it just wasn't the same when they were both around. They weren't together anymore, they weren't anything. Harry and Ron had both tried their best to cheer Hermione up, and the act she was putting up was pretty good, but Harry could see that she was still hurting, that the break-up had affected her more than she wanted them to know. It was obvious that she wished things could be different but for some reason she didn't think that they could be. Harry just wished he knew why.

"Harry? Are you going to actually go _into_ the compartment?" Hermione asked him, looking at him quizzically. He was still standing in the doorway.

Harry blushed bright red and mumbled an apology before hurrying into the compartment. Hermione smiled before following him in, Ginny and Luna coming behind her. Ginny quickly pushed past Hermione, taking the seat by Ron, Luna setting next to her.

Harry sent her a friendly smile and nodded towards the empty seat next to him. "Thanks." She said quietly, sitting down placing her satchel on the seat beside her. She took Hogwarts a History out of her bag and began flipping though the pages trying to find the place she had stopped at last.

"We've barely left, and you're already reading." Harry said, shaking his head at his friend. "Normally you at least wait till me and Ron start talking about Quidditch."

"Oh, don't you know Harry?" Ginny said before Hermione could respond herself. "Hermione loves her books more than life itself. To her nothing can compare, not her family, not her friends, certainly not her _boyfriend_. In fact, I think I forced to choose between the two, she'd choose her books. Live her days out as a spinster, with nothing but her books and cats to comfort her." Malice laced her words and Hermione flinched at the coldness in her friend's voice.

Ginny hadn't been quite as understanding as Harry and Ron when she had found out that George and Hermione had broken up. In fact she was quite angry about it. And quite vocal.

She didn't understand why they had broken up and Hermione hadn't explained it to her. All Ginny knew was that Hermione had decided, in her opinion, out of the blue, that they could no longer be together, and now her brother was hurting. Hermione couldn't blame her for being angry with her; she just wished she would understand that she was hurting as well.

"Knock it off Ginny." Ron said, glaring at his younger sister. "Or else you're going to have to find another compartment to set in."

Ginny huffed angrily, her angry gaze moving from Hermione to Ron. "Last time I checked, Ronald, it was George that you were related to, not Hermione. Maybe you should start remembering that."

"Yeah and last time I checked there were seats elsewhere on the train." Ron said standing up and opening the compartment door. "Maybe you should go find one."

Ginny looked at her brother in disbelief before getting up and leaving, slamming the door angrily behind her, causing it to rattle loudly.

"You didn't have to do that Ron." Hermione told him quietly.

"Yeah, I did." He told her, "She doesn't have the right to say anything. You broke up with George, not my whole family."

"He's right." Harry said, somewhat surprised by Ron's understanding.

"She's just looking out for her brother." Hermione said sighing sadly. "I can't blame her for that."

She turned to stare out at the landscape, a look of longing in her eyes, and spent the rest of the trip like that, barely talking to anyone else in the compartment, not even to reprimand Ron when he swore and called Snape several names that Harry agreed with full-heartedly, but Hermione never seemed to agree with, or when Luna began describing animals that he knew Hermione didn't believe in.

Harry wanted to say something, wanted to make her feel better, do something, anything, he just didn't know what.

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When they arrived at the station there were several Order members already waiting for them. Tonks sent them all a large smile, wishing them all a happy Christmas, before Ginny quickly pulled her aside, talking and giggling with her quietly.

"Hello everyone, I hope the train ride was pleasant." Mr. Weasley told them.

"Oh yes, Mr. Weasley. We weren't attacked once." Luna said with a broad grin.

"Uh, well yes, that would make for a much more pleasant train ride." He said slowly, "Why don't I help you find your father?"

"Alright," Luna said. "Bye Harry, bye Ron, bye Hermione. Have a fun holiday."

"Bye Luna." They called after her as Mr. Weasley led them away. Hermione turned back to the remaining two Order members and smiled at Charlie. He quickly glanced at George, who was standing as far away from Hermione as he could, before looking back at her with a nervous smile, offering to take her trunk.

"Thanks." Hermione said quietly, placing her hand in his offered one. They would be apparating back.

"Think nothing of it." He said, this time with a real smile. He pulled her a bit closer before apparating.

A moment later the landed in the Burrow's backyard, where it was already beginning to snow. Ginny and Tonks followed shortly after that, beating George and Fred by mere seconds. Ginny shoved past her, knocking purposefully into her shoulder and pushing her into Charlie, before going inside. George sent her an apologetic look before he and Fred followed her into the house.

"This is going to be an interesting Christmas, isn't it?" Charlie asked, looking down at her.

"To say the least." Hermione said quietly, stepping behind Harry and Ron, who had just arrived with Moody and Mr. Weasley.

As soon as Harry entered the room, he was pulled into a bone-crushing hug by Mrs. Weasley. She was mumbling something about how she had been worried that something was going to happen at the station. Ron was pulled into a hug as well, but when it came Hermione's turn she didn't get hug, instead she got a fake smile.

"It's wonderful to see you again too Hermione." Mrs. Weasley said. "I've made up all the bedrooms. You and Tonks will be in Percy's old room."

"Thank you Mrs. Weasley." Hermione told her, smiling as politely as she could. She could see Ginny smiling smugly in the background. Maybe it was for the best, Ginny obviously didn't want to share a room with her right now and she didn't know when she would start talking to her again, she just hoped it was soon. She hoped the way that Mrs. Weasley was looking at her would end soon as well.

Hermione quickly took her trunk from Charlie, not quite meeting his eyes, and hurried up the stairs. She hadn't meant to make things so uncomfortable; she just hadn't known what else to do. Besides, if it was up to her she would have spent the holidays with her parents, eating her mother's horribly baked cookies, setting through her father's endless lectures about anything and everything and being able to see her family again. She would have loved to go home to a place where she was actually wanted; where she didn't feel uncomfortable the minute she walked in the door, to a place where she wasn't reminded of what she couldn't let herself have. But it wasn't up to her. It never seemed to be up to her.

----------------------------------

"Knock, knock."

Hermione paused, stopping her unpacking and looked up to see Harry standing in the doorway.

"Hello Harry." Hermione said with a small smile, "Are you done unpacking already?"

"No, but who really needs to unpack?" He asked with a grin.

"I'll remember that when you want you my help to find your socks that have been pushed down to the bottom of your trunk." Hermione said, standing up to put a few more items into the wardrobe.

"So, do you plan to ever come back downstairs?" Harry asked, plopping himself down on Hermione's bed.

"I haven't decided yet." Hermione said, her voice carrying from the wardrobe. "Mrs. Weasley didn't seem exactly thrilled to see me."

"George told his mum to lay off, he told Ginny as well," Harry told her, "So it should be better now."

"All the same, I think it's better if I give them some time to cool off before I make another appearance." She told him, "Besides, they're George's family he deserves some time with them."

"Makes sense I guess." Harry said with a nod, "I guess we'll just have to figure something to do up here."

"Harry…"

"Come on, I'm not going to leave you up here all by yourself." Harry told her. He wanted her to have an enjoyable time this Christmas. He wanted her to know that he and Ron were her friends no matter what. She had been the one to remind him of that last year and he would make sure that she knew that she remember it now. They were in this together, whether any of them liked it or not.

"That's sweet Harry, but I doubt Ginny or Mrs. Weasley are going to forgive me sooner if you spend a lot of time in my room alone with me."

"Good point." Harry said, "I'll go get Ron."

And when Harry came back into the room, Ron in tow and chessboard in hand, Hermione allowed them to distract her. Choosing to focus on the two boys bickering over who would play first, instead of the sense of foreboding that had been at the forefront of her mind ever since she stepped off of the Hogwarts Express and onto the platform.

-----------------------------------

Death. Surrounding her everywhere. Horrible flashes of her loved one's startling gray faces, as they died in front of her. Cold emerald eyes, mocking her as they cried out for help they would never get. She could hear screaming and she knew that it was her.

Hermione awoke in a cold sweat, her legs tangled almost painfully in her sheets. There was a cold feeling in the pit of her stomach and she longed for the relief the dreamless sleep potions had once brought her. Its effects had begun to diminish, what had once enabled her nights of endless sleep, now only lasted hours and then the dreams would begin again. Terrifying images that stayed with her throughout the day, making it harder to pretend everything was okay, when all she really wanted to do was sleep uninterrupted by anything else.

Not that it mattered much now, she had used the last of her own supplies that night, and the small dose she had saved had only helped her sleep for a few mere hours from the looks of the clock on the wall.

Tonks sighed contently from her own bed and Hermione smiled slightly despite herself. She wished she could trade her own dreams for those Tonks had. They seemed much happier.

Hermione pulled the quilt off of her, swinging her legs over to the side. She didn't want to stay in this room any longer than she had too. She spent enough time up here, unable and unwilling to face too many Weasley's at once. Ginny and Mrs. Weasley were still angry with her and Fred still didn't know what to say around her, torn between defending his twin and not wanting to be like Ginny and his mother. Charlie and Bill were always kind to her, but she could tell they knew more than the rest of the family by the looks they often shared with their father. Instead, Harry and Ron spent endless hours up here with her or she spent time alone, reading or just staring out the window, wondering when things had gotten this complicated.

She stood up slowly, cringing as the floorboards groaned beneath her. Seeing Tonks still fast asleep, Hermione hurried to the door, exiting the room quickly, trying to be as quiet as possible as she hurried past bedrooms and down the stairs. It was dark on the lowest level on the house and Hermione barely escaped bumping into the table before she reached the kitchen cabinet. She had just enclosed the tea cup in her hand when she heard the floor boards groan again. This time it wasn't her.

She stilled, unsure of what to do. She hadn't thought to bring her wand down with her.

"Hermione?"

She jumped and almost dropped the cup in her hand. Quickly turning around, she let out a sigh of relief seeing who was standing in the doorway.

"You shouldn't do that Harry." Hermione said clutching the tea cup close to her chest. "If I had had my wand, I would have stunned you."

"Sorry." Harry said trying to suppress a grin. It was fun sometimes to see the normally cool and composed girl flustered.

"What are you doing down here anyways?" she asked placing the cup down on the counter.

"I couldn't sleep and Ron's snoring was getting to me." He explained with a shrug of his shoulders. "Figured I'd come down here and get some water."

"You'd think you'd be used to his snoring by now." Hermione said with a smile.

"I don't think you ever really get used to it." Harry told her.

"Well, would you like some tea?" Hermione asked, reaching up for another cup from the cupboard.

"That would be nice." He said nodding his head in agreement. He watched as she stood on her tip toes, trying to reach the top shelf where the rest of the tea cups were.

"Let me help." She said coming up beside her. He put his hand on the small of her back, gently pushing her to the right to allow himself enough room.

The small, familiar action, made her blush and think of George. He had done the same thing whenever he would help her into the common-room. "You know, you never asked me." Hermione said quietly.

"Asked you what?" Harry asked looking down at her.

"About what happened with George, you were the only one that didn't." she said quietly.

"Your relationship with George, whatever it is, isn't any of my business." Harry said shaking his head. "And by now I've learned that I shouldn't try to make you tell me anything, it only ends badly.'

"Still" Hermione said, "Thank you. It's…it's nice to know that somebody's on my side."

"I'm always on your side, Hermione." Harry told her, "I thought you knew that."

"I do, its just….its just really nice to hear sometimes." She said fighting back tears.

"Oh, Hermione don't cry." He said glancing around the room frantically. "You know I don't know what to do when people cry."

"Sorry." Hermione said with a small laugh, wiping at her eyes. "Things are just so confusing right now….'

"Things will get better soon." Harry said taking her hands and pulling her towards him. "I _promise_ things will be better soon." He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her even closer, allowing her head to rest on his chest. "Everything's going to be fine." He repeated.

And feeling secure in his embrace, Hermione allowed herself to enjoy his comfort, to break down. She allowed herself for the first time that year to show Harry that she wasn't as strong and confident as she appeared to be. She allowed herself to believe Harry when he said things were going to get better despite her suspicions that they would not.

-----------------------------------

Breakfast in the morning was a rather awkward affair; somehow managing to surpass the first breakfast during the holidays when Mrs. Weasley had deliberately given her the worst food on the table; it hadn't been horrible but Hermione was the only one with even a hint of anything burnt other than toast. Harry was watching Hermione closely, not even trying to appear subtle about, as if expecting her to burst out in tears again at any moment. Ginny was watching her as well, though Hermione doubted it was for such caring reasons.

Mr. Weasley broke the tense silence, asking how everyone had slept the night before. Harry blushed deeply and Hermione was reminded of the time over the summer when the same question had been asked. She had spent the night scared and in Harry's arms that night as well.

"Well I don't know about everyone else, but I slept great." Tonks said and Hermione fought the urge to giggle, sharing a smile with Harry instead.

There was a loud pop from the yard and then a knock on the door. Tonks quickly put down her silverware and stood, reaching for her wand as she walked up to the door, Mr. Weasley and Bill close behind her. "Hello" she called through the door. She did a rather good impression of Mrs. Weasley and most people would not be able to tell that it wasn't her.

The safety measures the Order was taking were just another reminder of how much things had changed and the real reason that Hermione and Harry were both there. It stung a little worse each time she heard Tonks impersonate another member of the Weasley family; guilt over putting them all in danger, worry over what would happen if someday it wasn't an ally on the other side of the door.

"It's Remus." The voice from the other side of the door came.

"Remus who?"

"Remus Lupin, my middle name is John but when I was a child I used to pretend I didn't have one because I thought John to be too plain."

"You were an odd child." Tonks said quickly unwarding the doors to allow him in.

"I never claimed to be anything else." He said with a smile, as he came through the door. Hermione noticed Mr. Weasley shoulders had slumped in relief at seeing the professor and Mrs. Weasley snapped back into action, as if trying to make up for the few moments she had been frozen worrying herself about who was at the door.

"Hello Remus" Mrs. Weasley told him. "Harry, Ron, help the professor with his things." she instructed the boys. They pushed back their chairs and grabbed his bags; Harry taking the larger bag, while Ron took the other smaller one, following his friend up the stairs.

"He'll be staying in Bill's room!" Mrs. Weasley called after them. "Ginny dear," she said turning back to the table, "come help me in the kitchen. You too Tonks, if you don't mind."

"Of course not Molly." Tonks said with a large smile. "Lets just hope I don't blow anything up this time." She told Hermione quietly.

Hermione forced a smile at the older witch as she hurried into the kitchen. It used to be her who Mrs. Weasley asked to help.

"Hello Hermione" Remus said sliding into the seat beside her.

"Hello Remus." She told him with a smile, she was happy to recognize that this one was genuine.

"I'm glad I have a moment with you alone. Well pretty much alone," He said glancing at the remaining members at the Weasley table. Mr. Weasley was reading the paper, while Charlie explained something to Fred and George, though Hermione could tell by the look on George's face that he wasn't really listening. Fred seemed rather interested though. Hermione hoped it wasn't her presence that was upsetting George.

"I was hoping that if you had a moment later, you could stop by my room." Remus told her.

"Of course." Hermione said looking away from George. She hoped he hadn't noticed her watching him. "Any particular reason?"

"Severus, _Professor Snape,_" He said correcting himself, "sent something with me for you. I figured it would be something that you'd prefer to receive it in private." He said glancing over to the stairs where the boys were loudly coming back down.

"Yeah." Hermione said quietly, following his gaze. "I'll make sure that I do."

----------------------------------

Hermione carefully shifted the cups in her hands and knocked gently on Bill's door. She heard quiet shuffling before it was opened and Remus's head popped out. "I come baring hot chocolate and curiosity." Hermione told him with a smile.

"Thank you." Remus said accepting his cup and gesturing her in.

"Where's Bill?" Hermione asked, taking in the empty room.

"He's bunking with Charlie." Remus said setting on the bed across from the one she was on. "He was nice enough to give an old man his room."

"I'd hardly call you old." Hermione said, "_But _if it gets you your own room, I say go with it. I've been rooming with Tonks and she had very interesting dreams and tends to talk in her sleep. A very bad combination."

"I can imagine." Remus said with a laugh.

"So, what exactly did Professor Snape give you?" Hermione asked, carefully placing her half full mug on the dresser. She had been dreading this conversation with Remus since he brought it up; she very much doubted Professor Snape had sent her a Christmas present.

"This." He said carefully picking up a green velvet pouch from beside him.

She took the pouch carefully from him; he had obviously been handling it with care. Looking inside, she saw there were several viles of dreamless sleep potion, more then enough to last her through the Christmas holidays.

"I still remember some things from my potion class days." Remus told her, "And I know what that is. Anything you'd like to share?"

"Occlumency lessons mess with your minds." Hermione said quietly, "This helps."

"That doesn't explain why you're taking it when you don't have the lessons." He said.

Hermione was quiet for a moment before looking up at him, unsure of what to say. He had just called her bluff.

There was a knock on the open door and Hermione turned to see Harry standing there with a smile on his face. "You know, if you don't think Mrs. Weasley would like it if you were alone with me, I doubt she would approve of this." He said his smile growing wider.

"Good point." Hermione said quickly standing up. "Thanks for this Remus." She said gesturing to the bag.

"Of course." He said standing up as well.

Hermione smiled hesitantly back at him before moving towards the door and hurrying past Harry who was looking at the bag questioningly.

"Giving her her Christmas present early?" Harry asked.

"No, just passing along something from Severus." Remus said forcing a small smile. He had hoped that Hermione would tell him what was going on but Harry's unexpected appearance had put an end to that.

"I think I prefer my idea." Harry said quietly. Remus noticed that the smile was gone from his face.

----------------------------

The fire's warmth soothed Hermione greatly as she sat hugging her knees next to the fire. The Burrow had been colder then normal the last few days, but no one other then Hermione seemed to notice. She couldn't help but wonder if that was because everyone else was welcome, and she wasn't. Maybe it was all in her mind.

"It's your turn." Harry's came from her left.

"What?" she asked jerking in surprise.

"It's your turn." He repeated. "You know exploding snap. It was your idea to play."

"Sorry." Hermione said sending him a guilty smile. "I got distracted. One of the logs in the fire looks a little like Dobby."

Ron snorted loudly into his drink and Harry shook his head at her, clearly amused that she could be so easily distracted. If it had been the truth she would have laughed along with them.

The door in the kitchen opened loudly, banging against the wall in the kitchen, and loud laughter and talking could be heard as Charlie and Bill returned with his sister and brother right behind him.

Hermione froze, her arm reaching for a card. George was laughing, enjoying himself, and she knew the moment that he saw her his good time would stop. That's how it always seemed to go lately. He'd come into the room smiling, see her and suddenly he had somewhere else to be. She'd set down at dinner and he would cease speaking unless he was spoken to by someone else first. She felt horribly guilty and she knew the others could tell. Harry had begun to make sure he was seated next to her at every meal, striking up a conversation with her that had nothing to do with the one going on at the table. Allowing her peace at mind knowing George didn't have to worry, and giving her a distraction. She wasn't sure when Harry had gotten so insightful, but she was grateful that he had.

The three stopped in the doorway, taking in the three teenagers playing by the fire who were now all watching them. It was obvious however that Hermione was only staring at one of them.

"No need to worry yourself Hermione, its only Fred." Ginny said narrowing her eyes on Hermione. "George stayed behind at the shop with Lee to work a little longer. Wonder why?"

Hermione felt tears prickling at her eyes, and she quickly turned away so that no one would see. That had stung, it really had. She felt terrible enough without Ginny reminding her constantly the pain she was causing. And that's all she ever seemed to do since they had arrived here. In fact she couldn't remember the last time Ginny had spoken to her in a nice way. She had asked her to pass the potatoes the night before at dinner, maybe it was then.

She had worked so hard to hide her feelings about the danger she was in, so that her friends wouldn't worry, wouldn't do something stupid, but she didn't want them to think that she was completely emotionless. She didn't want them to think that she had never cared about George, because she did. She _still_ did. She didn't want them to be apart, but she knew that they couldn't be together. It was too dangerous for him and too worrisome for her. She couldn't live her life in fear that something was going to happen to him and she couldn't allow herself to make him a target because he loved her, there were more then enough targets already.

"Shut up Ginny." Ron snapped, glaring at his younger sister. She scowled back at him, but remained silent as she turned around and hurried up the stairs, most likely to her bedroom.

"Come on Hermione." Ron said in a much gentler tone. Hermione got the feeling that he had seen the tears in her eyes. "Let's go take a walk. I know you wanted to see the fairies lighting up the fur trees. They should be out soon."

"Okay." Hermione said quietly, "Let me just go get my coat."

She was back within minutes, hurrying down the stairs, wrapping her Gryffindor scarf around her neck, to where Ron was waiting for her.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Yeah." She said with a small smile. He really was trying his hardest to help and be supportive of her decision, though she didn't think that he was very upset about it. "Just the two of us?"

"Yeah, we're all used to it and Harry's…Him and Fred are doing something." It was clear by the way he wasn't meeting her eyes that he wasn't telling her something, but Hermione couldn't bring herself to mind. She kept enough things from him, somehow it seemed fair.

--------------------------------------

"We're all really sorry about Mum and Ginny." Ron said shoving his hands in his pockets.

"It's not your fault, Ron." Hermione told him, shaking her head. "I broke up with George and they have the right to be angry."

"It'll blow over soon." Ron said with a reassuring smile, "George understands and he's fine with it. Well, maybe not fine, but he's taking it pretty well considering. Mum and Ginny are just being stupid. They don't know about everything that's going on."

"No, they don't" Hermione repeated quietly. Maybe it would just be better for everyone if she went back to Hogwarts. She would be safe there, but she wouldn't be imposing in a place where she was causing so much pain.

They continued walking down the path in silence, Hermione rubbing her hands together for warmth. If she looked behind her, she could see the very top of the burrow in the distance. She turned back around, to make sure she didn't run into anything unexpectedly, and heard something snap, breaking the silence. "Did you hear that?" Hermione asked turning to Ron.

"Hear what?" He asked glancing around them.

There was another snap, this time Ron heard it as well. "What was that?" Ron asked. "Whose there?" He called out, reaching for his wand.

"Ron, don't!" Hermione said trying to quiet him. This all seemed too familiar to her. She grabbed for her own wand and spun around trying to figure out where the sound had came from. But it was silent around them and it was hard to see anything that was further then three feet away. When had it gotten so dark? She didn't remember it being this dark a few minutes ago.

"Oh look," A frightening voice said from behind her, "Their scared."

Shadows were coming out of the darkness, large cloaked figures surrounding them where they stood, each with their wands drawn; an intimidating sight for even the most skilled Aurors.

Ron made a move to raise his wand but before he even had the chance to do anything, one of them had already yelled "_Stupefy_" and he was lying unconscious on the ground. Hermione was completely alone.

Hermione screamed, unable to stop herself, and reached out for him but two of the figures stopped her. Her arms were grabbed roughly and she was pushed against the nearest tree. She tried desperately to break free from their grip, twisting and pulling, but they wouldn't let go, instead they pressed harder and she could feel the bruises beginning to form.

She looked up at the cloaked men in front of her and she realized she had never been so scared. Through everything that she had been through before, Harry and Ron were always there. She always felt safe with Harry and Ron beside her, but this time Ron was already in trouble and Harry was no where to be found. She didn't know whether to sigh in relief that at least he was alright or cry in despair because he wasn't going to be there to save her this time.

One of the men made a grab for her wand, releasing his iron clad grip on her arm, and she saw her only chance. She wouldn't go down without a fight, she knew that. Hermione kicked out, her foot connecting with the man's knee causing him to fall to the ground. Startled by the unexpected movement, the other man's grip had loosened and Hermione was able to wrench herself out of his grasp, knocking him into the tree they had pinned her against. She felt a surge of pride in knowing that she had been able to hurt them back and then she ran as quickly as she could towards the trees, hoping to find some protection there.

She heard shouts behinds her and curses flew past her, one skimming her shoulder causing her to slow down slightly. Then one familiar voice seemed to raise itself above the rest, she vaguely heard the word "_Crucio_" before she fell to the ground shaking in pain. A horrible scream of despair came from her lips, before she choked, gasping for breath it seemed impossible for her to get. She felt as though every part of her was on fire, as though there was blood pouring from every pore of her body, and worst she could smell it, feel it as it trickled down from where she had bit down on her lip viciously in pain. She prayed that it was the only place it was coming from.

"This all could have been avoided if you had just stayed put, like a good little girl." A deep male voice came from above her. Slowly she felt the pain began to lighten and while it still felt like hell, the sense that it was never going to end was gone and she could feel her muscles relaxing ever so slightly. She was still shaking, but she wasn't sure if that was from the pain or from the fear of what was going to happen now.

She opened her eyes slowly and jerked shakily at the silver mask staring back at her. She had seen masks like that before in the Department of Mysteries, they had haunted her dreams since.

"The more you fight this, the longer it will take Miss Granger." The familiar silky voice said as the man pulled her roughly up off of the ground. "Now, be a good little girl and do as you're told." He said shoving her into the center of the circle they had formed. There had to be at least eight of them.

"Such a pretty little thing." He continued, backing her further into the circle. She stopped before she got too close to the Deatheater behind her, allowing him to stop right in front of her.

"I can see what the Dark Lord sees in you." He said running his hand down her cheek, causing her to flinch away. "Don't worry." He said leaning closer to her. "I would never hurt something so precious."

His words caused her to shiver and not in the good way. He had somehow managed to make her feel violated with his mere words. He lifted the same hand he had used to touch her, and removed his silver mask, revealing long silver hair and gray cruel eyes.

"Lucius Malfoy?" she whispered in disbelief.

"Good," He said with a smirk. "I was worried you had forgotten me." He stepped closer to her, causing her to take a step back. His gaze was lingering on her a little too long and she felt herself begin to shake harder, this time she knew it was in fear. His face was impassive but she was able to read one emotion in his eyes, but it was not hate or the normal disgust she had expected. It was desire.

And the realization of what was happening came crashing down on her. She had lived in fear of something happening for so long that when the Deatheaters appeared out of the darkness a part of her had been expecting it. It wasn't until now that the reality was catching up with her. Something bad wasn't going to happen, it already was.

Lucius was advancing on her, an evil smirk on his face, and she could feel the surrounding Deatheaters coming in closer. She had no where to go. Ron was unconscious and she couldn't even see him from where she was. No one had known exactly where they were going. Most of the house hadn't even known that they had left. No one was here to save her. And just like in her dreams, no one was coming.

"Potter and Weasley aren't here to save you this time." Lucius said his face inches from her own. Her breath hitched at his close proximity and he smirked down at her before he roughly grabbed her, pulling her towards him. He forcefully pushed his lips against her own, causing her to cry out in pain and in fear. She barely registered him pushing up her jacket and skirt, exposing her stomach to the cold. "Don't worry." He whispered against her lips, "It'll only hurt for a moment."

He had lied. A horrible pain rippled through her body, beginning at her hip where he his wand was digging into her skin, as he murmured something. She screamed out in agony, but Lucius continued. Some part of her brain recognized it to be some sort of spell, but the pain was too intense for her to decipher what he was actually saying. She hadn't realized that there was a curse worse then the Cruciatus. She wished that she hadn't had to find out the hard way. Through tear filled eyes she could see the Deatheaters smiling at her, knowing that they had done well and that they're master would be proud.

She felt Lucius step away and the pain began to dim slightly, but only slightly. Hermione ground her teeth trying to stop herself from yelling out in again, knowing that they would only enjoy it. She barely remained standing.

"Oh it's no fun if she doesn't scream." One of them said walking towards her. She recognized his voice but she couldn't place it.

"Come on." He said grabbing her hair, "Give us a scream." He pulled her head back violently, using her hair, causing her to whimper in pain. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction of a scream. They wanted it too much.

"Well if you won't scream for him." Another voice said, "Then maybe you'll scream for me. Crucio!"

She was hit by sudden pain once again and she had no choice but to scream, there was no way that she couldn't. She hit the ground painfully, her body trembling terribly. She wanted it to stop. She just wanted it to all stop. The curse was worse this time, as if more hate was directed in it.

She could vaguely hear sudden shouts and footsteps around her but everything was hazy and she couldn't make out anything for certain that was going on.

Suddenly the haze over her mind began to lift and Lucius was crouching down in front of her. "So you won't forget us." He said placing his hand on her still burning hip causing her to cry out in pain and then suddenly he was gone. All that remained was the echoing of a pop signifying that he had disapparated out.

She heard someone calling out for her from above her. A smile played on her lips as she realized that someone had finally came to rescue her. To rescue Ron. She was content before everything went black.

---------------------------

"Hermione! Hermione!" Harry called, completely ignoring everything else that was going on around him. Nothing else would matter if she wasn't alright. He could never forgive himself if something had happened. He could never forgive himself if he was too late.

A stray hex flew by his side and he dogged it, crouching down and then froze. From his position he could see her now. She was leaning against a tree a Deatheater hovering over her before apparating away.

"Hermione" he breathed.

Harry was at her side in an instant, leaning closely over her body making sure she was still there. She was unconscious but she was breathing. She was breathing, she was okay. But she looked so still lying there bruised and broken. Her clothing was torn, she had twigs and dirt entangled in her hair, there were bruises on her face and her lips were cut and swollen, a trail of blood traveling down her face from her mouth. He really didn't want to think about how that had happened. Looking over her, he saw just how not okay she was.

"How is she?" Remus asked, crouching beside him. Harry glanced at the older man and saw his own horror and worry reflected in his eyes.

"She's still breathing." Harry told him quickly but it hurt realizing that that was the only reassuring thing he could honestly say.

"Did you see what happened?" Remus asked taking his cloak off and quickly draping it around her.

"When I spotted her there was a Deatheater leaning over her." Harry said softly, "But he Disapparated as soon as I saw him. Is she going to be alright?"

"Unfortunately I don't know, but we need to get her back to the house. Nothing appears broken and I don't smell much blood. She should be okay to be carried." Remus said. He moved closer to her, tucking one hand gently underneath her knees and another behind her back. Harry watched as he lifted her up effortlessly, his face dropping as he got an even closer look at her. "The other member's should be able to handle the rest of them. It looks as if it's dying down anyways." He said turning back towards the burrow.

Harry looked around and saw only a few Deatheater left fighting, most of them had fled the scene but one or two seemed to have been caught. He was amazed he hadn't realized all this was going on around him.

"Come along Harry." Remus said gently. He held Hermione close to himself as he carefully made his way down the path. His senses were alert and he was prepared for anyone who may come up unexpectedly. Moony was going wild inside, angry at the thought of loosing someone as precious and vulnerable as Hermione. Merlin help any man that tried to do her harm again tonight.

"What do you think happened?" Harry asked racing to catch up with Lupin as he walked.

"Nothing good." He said softly looking sadly at Hermione. He too wondered what exactly had happened to her and the ideas floating around his head were not comforting him. Hermione shifted in his arms, her hand latching onto his robes, gripping tightly. She mumbled something, her face contorting in pain, and Remus picked up his pace. He could see the Burrow coming closer. He needed to get her there before he could do anything else to help her.

There was a loud bang and Harry looked away from Hermione and Remus to see Mrs. Weasley standing in the Burrow's doorway looking out at them.

"Remus! Harry! What happened? Where's Ron?" She asked frantically.

"He's fine." Remus told her, "Fred and George are taking care of him." Harry felt horrible as he realized that he hadn't thought of what had happened to Ron. Not since he had heard Hermione's fearful cry.

"Remus what's going on—Oh my." She croaked out. They had gotten close enough for her to see Hermione clearly. "What happened?" she asked.

"We're not sure." Remus said, "Let's just get her into the house. You can take a look at her there. Go collect the medical supplies and get Ginny, we may need her help as well."

"Alright." Mrs. Weasley said nodding her head grimly, "Take her up to mine and Arthur's room. We'll have the most room to work there."

"Of course." Remus said. Mrs. Weasley nodded her head before quickly hurrying back into the house calling for Ginny to follow her.

Remus carefully maneuvered himself through the doorway, banging his own shoulder roughly on the doorframe to insure that she didn't hit her head. He took the stairs slowly, Harry trailing close behind him not wanting to leave her side.

The master bedroom was the first room in the house, and the door was already opened as Remus carried her in. Harry vaguely realized that it was the only room he had never been in before, as Remus gently lowered Hermione onto the bed. She still hadn't woken up. He noticed Remus gently pushing back the hair that had fallen on her face. It was a tender gesture, one that would normally make him feel comforted that his friend was so cared for, but this time it only made the bruises on her faces more visible. He fought the urge to go move it back.

Mrs. Weasley bustled into the room a moment later, Ginny close behind her. She didn't seem to notice his presence but Ginny certainly did.

"You can't be in here." Ginny said pushing him towards the door.

"And you can?" he asked angrily. He wasn't leaving. She of all people couldn't make him.

"I know you want to help Harry, but right now I think you should wait downstairs." Remus told him. "I'll come and get you as soon as I can."

"Once mum cleans her up a bit you can come back in." Ginny told him gently. Still he hesitated. He didn't want to leave her. He didn't want her to wake up thinking that he didn't care enough to stay.

"Do you really think Hermione would want you to see her like this?" Ginny asked him. Her voice had taken on a tone he had never heard her use before. It reminded him greatly of her mother. "You know she wouldn't. If you don't want to go all the way downstairs, then just wait outside the door okay."

Harry didn't like it but he nodded in agreement anyways. It didn't look like they were going to let him stay, no matter what he said. He gave Hermione one last longing look before walking out of the room. He heard Ginny shut the door behind him.

He took up post next to the door, planning to ask anyone who came out what had happened as soon as they came out.

The thought of loosing her terrified him, and unfortunately the possibility was quite high. Tonight had proven that. Hermione was the epitome of everything that Voldemort was against. A muggleborn at the top of every class was hardly an example Voldemort would want known. And she meant so much to Harry, the closest female friend he had ever had. Voldemort knew that having her ripped away from him, after everything that had happened between them, would kill him. And that seemed to be what Voldemort was always after.

-------------------------------

"Do we know what happened?" Mrs. Weasley asked Remus quietly.

"You know as much as I do." Lupin said, "Bill and Charlie were outside when they heard her scream. By the time we got there Ron was unconscious and so was Hermione. But Harry did say that he saw a Deatheater standing over her."

"Is she…Is she okay?" Ginny asked quietly. There was a slight panic underlining her words.

"Maybe you shouldn't be seeing this." Mrs. Weasley told her.

"No! I want to help." Ginny said, "After everything I said….I need to help mum. Besides if there's something worse then cuts and bruises you'll need help, you know that."

Molly still looked uncertain, but nodded her head in acceptance. "Go get one of her nightgowns" She instructed Ginny "Will need to get her out of these clothes."

"Alright." Ginny said hurrying out of the room.

"Remus" She said turning towards him, "Please help me get her undressed."

"Don't you think Ginny should help you with that?" Remus stammered, "I mean surely I shouldn't--she wouldn't want me to--"

"We both know what might have happened." Mrs. Weasley said looking down at Hermione's unconscious form sadly. She had

"I don't want Ginny to see that. Now, help me get her sweater off. We need to see how badly her injuries are."

Remus moved closer as Mrs. Weasley sat on the edge of the bed. She had barely pulled up the hem of the shirt, her hand grazing Hermione's hip, when Hermione shot straight up, gasping in pain.

--------------------------

"Hermione! Hermione you need to calm down." Mrs. Weasley said, placing her hand on Hermione's knee causing her to flinch away. Everything ached, everything stung at the slightest movement and she could feel phantom hands on her still, holding her down, causing her more pain.

"Hermione its okay." Remus said trying to sooth her. "It's over now, your safe."

Hermione choked out a sob and her hands fisted into the material around her as she breathed deeply. It was over; she repeated to herself, they couldn't hurt her anymore.

"Hermione, I know it hurts and I know your still very upset and I understand, but we need you to tell us what happened." Mrs. Weasley said. "Not everything, but we need to know what's wrong so we can fix it."

Hermione choked back another sob and shook her head vehemently. "I'm fine." She said still shaking slightly, "Nothing's broken, or anything like that."

"Nothing might be broken but you are most certainly _not_ _fine_." She continued, "Now I know you don't want to talk about it but we need to know so that we can help you."

"They came out of no where" Hermione said quietly, "We didn't have time to react. All of a sudden Ron was stupefied and there were deatheaters grabbing at me. I tried to run, I tried to fight, but I couldn't…they stopped me. It hurt so bad…"

"They used the Cruciatus?" Remus asked, though it came out more as a statement than a question.

"They used an unforgivable on her?" Ginny gasped from the doorway. Hermione's labored breathing was all the answer they needed.

"Hermione, Hermione" Mrs. Weasley repeated grasping Hermione's hand in her own. Hermione pulled away from her quickly, but she had gotten the girl's attention.

"Hermione," she repeated again, using her most soothing voice. "We had Ginny get you a nightgown to change into. I know you're in a lot of pain right now, but we need to get you out of these dirty and wet clothing. Would you like us to help or would you prefer to do it yourself?"

"I can do it." Hermione said softly, taking the nightgown from her with a shaky hand, "Just give me a minute."

"Alright." Mrs. Weasley said patting the bed gently, it was clear that she was unsure if they should leave her alone, but unwilling to say so. "We'll be right back when your finished."

Hermione waited until they were out of the room before she placed the nightgown on the bed beside her, and carefully tried to get up. Her muscles protested painfully, and she couldn't stop herself from whimpering in pain. Reminding herself that the sooner she changed, the sooner she could be healed, she forced herself to stand up, clinging to the bed frame as she did so. Maybe she should have just let Mrs. Weasley stay and help, but that would have meant her touching her and right now she couldn't stand the thought of anyone doing that. She knew Mrs. Weasley meant her no harm but that didn't stop her from flinching painfully every time she got too close.

Hermione noticed her hands were shaking as she reached up to unbutton her sweater, at some point her coat had been taken off, but she wasn't sure when, she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know.

She fumbled with the buttons, but eventually she got them all undone and was able to slowly shrug the sweater off her shoulders. It hurt terribly, but she was relieved that she had been able to do it without calling for help; she wanted to see for herself how she looked, before she let anyone else see her, what they had done to her.

She turned around slowly, determined to look herself in the eye through the mirror no matter what she saw, and had to stop herself from screaming from what she saw.

Bruises and scars weren't the only reminders that they had left her with. There on her hip, where she had felt such excruciating pain from Lucius Malfoy's wand, was something she had only seen once before; hovering high in the sky the night of the Quidditch World Cup. They had branded her, they had branded her with the Dark Lord's mark making sure she would never forget what they had done to her, never allowing her to forget how easily they could have killed her if they had wanted too; her own reflection, her own body, a mocking reminder of what had happened. It screamed at her, as if trying to tell who she now belonged to.

And it was all too much for her to take. She heard a sob escape from her mouth, unable to hold it in any longer and she swayed where she stood, anger and misery washing over her painfully. Several things happened at once; Hermione grabbed the bedpost to keep standing, as another cry came from her lips, this one much louder than the first, and then the mirror shattered powerfully, glass flying everywhere. Hermione did scream then, sliding to the floor, trying to protect herself as pieces of the glass flew all around her, cutting her and embedding into her skin.

She heard people yelling and footsteps, as the door opened. Someone was yelling her name but she didn't look up until they were crouched right in front of her.

"Hermione! Hermione are you alright?" Harry was right next to her, trying to pull her hands away from her to see what was wrong. There were others in the room as well, though she could see no more then there legs as the circled around her watching and trying to figure out was wrong.

"Hermione, what happened?" Harry asked looking at her face. It was slashed, and more cut up then it had been, in fact most of what he could see was slashed and cut up much worse then before. It was obvious she had received the full front of the blow when the mirror was broken.

He seemed terrified and Hermione wanted to answer him, but she couldn't bring herself to tell him what she had seen, what they had done. "Hermione tell me what happened, how did the mirror get broken?" He asked.

"I…I think I did it." Hermione said quietly.

"What do you mean you did it? Why would you—"

"I didn't mean to." She said shaking her head, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, but I was upset and it was so horrible. It was mocking me Harry, it was."

"Hermione what are you talking…" Harry saw Hermione's hand more traveling down to cover something on her side. He hadn't even realized that she wasn't wearing a shirt.

"Hermione what happened?" he said looking down at her side. Her grip got tighter the more he watched it and he knew that she wasn't telling him something. "Hermione what did they do?"

She shook her head again but didn't say anything. She couldn't bring herself to say it. He reached down to remove the hand covering her side.

"Harry no!" But he had already pulled her hand away. She heard him gasp and looked up to see an expression of anger and surprise on his face and she looked away ashamed.

"Oh Hermione, what did they do to you?" He asked still unable to tear his eyes away from her now blemished skin, where the dark mark stood out vividly.

"He made sure that I wouldn't forget."

_**A/N: Okay, so should I duck flying objects since this took so long to get out. I really am sorry, but I finally have a valid excuse. Or at least I do in my own opinion. My computer died, in a no repairable way and I lost pretty much everything on it. And then I had to wait until I could get a new one, something that takes time. So unfortunately writing really hasn't been possible. Add that to the fact that I lost 75 of what I already had written and plans I had drawn up and I have a memory like a goldfish, it took some time to redo this chapter and prepare for future chapters. But I really am sorry. For anyone reading Forced into Love, its the same reason I haven't updated it as well. I am however almost done with the next chapter and just have to send it to my beta. More apologizes.**_

_**I hope everyone liked this chapter, some big stuff was happening at the end, big stuff that will affect future chapters (hint, hint). I'm not completely happy with it, but hopefully everyone else likes it. **_

_**I know Mrs. Weasley and Ginny might seem a little harsh, but Mrs. Weasley reacted badly when she thought Hermione had been two-timing Harry in fourth year, I think she would certainly act harshly when she found out she had dumped her son. And Ginny, who I've always thought was like her mother, would feel similar. Because they don't know why Hermione broke up with George, they've come up with there own reasons for it, reasons they don't like. **_

_**Sorry for any grammar or spelling errors. I'm just no good at that. **_

_**Big big thanks to everyone who reviewed. I do love you guys and really appreciate everything you have to say. A couple people commented on Hermione's hypocriticalness is the last chapter, because she wanted Harry and Ron to trust her but she wasn't willing to confide in them. I agree to a certain extent, but Hermione thinks what she's doing is for their own good (which to be fair so did Harry and Ron when they followed her to Snape's) and she feels like after everything they've been through, it should be up to her to decide what to tell them and what not too. They tried to force her into telling them something. Hopefully that clears it up. If not, feel free to ask more questions. **_

_**PLEASE!!!!! Review. Comments, questions, and ideas are always welcome.**_


	10. Chapter Nine: Shattered

_**Disclaimer: **_**All credits go to J. K. Rowling. Their her characters, I'm just playing with them. Also, part of this chapter is taken exactly from Order of the Phoenix. I don't claim to own that either. **

**_Okay, so is doing this weird thing so that all the text is centered, so if that's still happening. I'm sorry but I don't know how to fix it. _**

_**Chapter Nine:**_

_**Shattered**_

"_Once Upon a year gone by  
She saw herself give in  
Every time she closed her eyes  
She saw what could have been  
Well nothing hurts and nothing bleeds  
When covers tucked in tight  
Funny how the bottom drops  
How she forgets to fight"_

_**-- **_**Vanessa Carlton, Paradise**

Her mind was in a haze as she felt herself being pulled away from Harry. Strong hands wrapped around her and lifted her off the floor and away from the glass, as Remus gently placed her back onto the bed. She heard Mrs. Weasley step closer, suggesting that she help her change, but she had barely registered that it was her she was speaking to when Remus interrupted saying that Dumbledore would have to see "it" and perhaps something other than a nightgown would more appropriate. She didn't have to ask what "it" was.

She knew that they were talking to her, about her; she knew that there were more people in the room watching her for signs of how she was; she knew that somewhere in the room Harry was standing, waiting for her to tell him that she was fine like she always did, but she couldn't bring herself to. She couldn't bring herself to tell them to stop acting as if she couldn't hear them. Because she couldn't, not really. Her mind was still outside in the woods surrounding the house, replaying what Lucius Malfoy had said, what he had done, what they all had done. She was trapped there as her mind replayed every feeling over and over again.

Hermione saw Mrs. Weasley raise her wand, but she didn't see that it was her that had done it. All she saw were silver masks and black flowing robes surrounding her, cornering her in. She scrambled to the other side of the bed in terror, pressing herself as close to the headboard as she could.

"Hermione, Hermione its okay, just calm down." Remus said stepping forward. He placed a hand on her arm, trying to comfort her, but Hermione just flinched farther away. There were too many people, and it hurt, everything hurt so horribly. She just wanted to be alone, left alone to cry and pull herself together in peace.

"Hermione Molly—Mrs. Weasley," Remus corrected himself, pulling his hand away slowly, so he didn't startle her, "is going to clean and repair your pants with her wand. No one here will hurt you, do you understand?"

Hermione nodded slowly, though she still looked frightened as Mrs. Weasley raised her wand and she drew back closer to the headboard as she felt her jeans tighten around her as the tears were repaired.

"Hermione we also have a shirt for you to change into." Remus said, he tried to make his voice as soothing as possible, but he wasn't sure it was helping. "Molly's going to help you put it on, is that alright?"

"Ye-y-yes." Hermione said stumbling over the word. She wanted to say no. She didn't want anyone to touch her. But she knew she couldn't say no. She knew that the longer she fought it the longer she would be exposed to everyone else, revealing the very thing that she wanted desperately to hide.

Mrs. Weasley came over to the other side of the bed, gently telling Hermione to lift up her arms. She pretended not to notice that Hermione flinched when her hand grazed unscathed skin, and instead pretended that it was because of the pain.

--

The door to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's room opened and Dumbledore came in first. He looked graver than Harry had seen him in awhile, like this hadn't been expected and the shock hadn't completely worn off. It bothered Harry to see him look like that.

Professor McGonagall followed him into the room a minute later, Snape close behind her. Professor McGonagall seemed out of sorts as well, not completely put together proven by the crooked angle of her hat. Snape looked as composed as always, and Harry found himself oddly comforted to see that the situation wasn't severe enough to have affected his composure as well.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Weasley we need to check on Miss Granger's condition. We need you to wait somewhere else for now." Dumbledore said, smiling at them encouragingly. When Harry looked at him now, he could see no trace of the weariness he glimpsed at as Dumbledore entered the room. He hoped that meant that once he had seen Hermione he realized the situation wasn't as bad as he thought.

"I want to stay with Hermione." Harry said.

"You can come back later." Mrs. Weasley said coming forward. "But right now they need to take care of Hermione." She grasped Ginny's arm and his own firmly, she had a much stronger grip than Harry would have expected, and led them to the door. "I think a nice cup of hot chocolate would make us all feel better, don't you dears?"

She had already led them out of the room and down the hallway before Harry even had the chance to protest.

Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape walked further into the room, Snape moving closer so he could place the black bag he had brought with him on the nightstand next to the bed. Hermione flinched when she thought he had gotten too close, but Remus was glad to notice that this time she did not scramble away. Of course, he hadn't touched her yet.

"What's this on the floor?" Professor McGonagall asked looking about the room. Remus noticed that she had only looked at Hermione a moment before looking away. He couldn't blame her. Hermione, even now that she was calmed down, still looked lost and confused, the effects of the attack on her out in the open for everyone to see. She still had dark bruises and cuts on her face as well, making it even harder to look her in the eye. Focusing on the glass around them seemed easier to him as well.

"Oh yes," Remus said looking around. He pulled out his wand, casting a quick "_scourgify_" before answering. "When HermioneThings got a bit emotional when Hermione saw.the extent of the attack." Remus explained.

"What do you mean?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"It hurt." Hermione said and all heads turned to her, though she didn't seem to notice. "It hurt terribly and I was afraid that it would never stop. I never thought about it hurting before. But it makes sense, it's like a brand isn't it, proving who you belong to."

"What is she talking about?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"The Dark Mark" Remus said quietly, "It's on her hip."

McGonagall's gasp was heard loudly in the quiet room and even Snape looked up startled. Dumbledore nodded gravely, before sitting down on the edge of Hermione's bed.

"Miss Granger, I was very sorry to hear what has happened. I am sorry that you weren't better protected." He said taking her hand in his own. Hermione recoiled at the contact, unprepared for it, but his firm grip wouldn't allow her to pull away. "Professor Snape is here to help heal you, is that okay?"

Hermione nodded her head and he made to stand but Hermione stopped him. "Will you be able to remove it?"

Dumbledore smiled gently at her, and patted the hand she had used to stop him. "We'll see Miss Granger, we'll see."

Snape moved forward and Hermione quickly turned her head away, closing her eyes. The way he walked, the confidence he held himself with, it all reminded her of Lucius Malfoy and what he had done to her.

"I will need to know what hurts the worst, Miss Granger." His voice came. "Miss Granger, what hurts?" He repeated when she didn't respond.

Everything. Everything hurt.

--

By the time Professor Snape had finished with the diagnostic spells and the healing spells and the healing potions and salves that caused Hermione to flinch and cry out in pain, Professor McGonagall had to excuse herself from the room and Remus had to fight the urge to follow her.

Never in all the years that they had known her had they seen her so lost, so broken. In the past, she always worked through the pain, smiled through it, buried herself in her school work. It hurt to see her like that. It made them feel guilty for the pain she was in, that they weren't there to stop it, after promising as her teachers to protect her.

"This is for the effects of the Cruciatus." Professor Snape said handing her a potion vial.

"How did you know?" Hermione asked accepting the vial. She had been quiet through his examination, only answering questions when she had too, never telling him everything that had happened. By the end she had fallen into answering with just one word answers because every time she tried to explain what happened she ended up in tears. She didn't want to cry. Not in front of Professor Snape. Not in front of Dumbledore. Not in front of anyone.

"The fact that you haven't stopped shaking since I entered the room was a hint." He drawled. "I would have given it to you sooner, but it would have interacted with the other potions you've already taken. Drink the potion Miss Granger, it will help."

Hermione drank it down before handing the empty bottle back to Professor Snape. She noticed that Professor Dumbledore had come closer, approaching the bed.

"Feeling slightly better?" He asked smiling down at her.

She nodded her head yes, not trusting her voice to convey what she really didn't feel.

"Good." Dumbledore said nodding his head, "I think it best that now we examine your hip."

"Why?" Hermione asked quickly. All three men could see her withdrawing back into herself.

"Its best that we know what it is, Miss Granger." Professor Snape explained, "We need to determine if it might have an ill effect on you."

Hermione still appeared hesitant, but nodded her head in consent. Professor Snape looked around briefly, before sitting beside her on the bed next to her, looking uncomfortable.

"Lift your shirt up around the area of the Mark." He told her.

Hermione shifted her position, uncomfortable with his proximity. Showing him it, having him see it and confirming what it was, that made it real. It confirmed that they owned a part of her now. And she didn't want that.

"Miss Granger, you have allowed me to look in to your mind, something much more intimate than this." He told her. "I need to look at it."

Hermione nodded feeling oddly comforted by him, before pulling up her tank-top enough to show him the mark. It stood out vividly from her pale skin, black with red raised skin all around it. It was as if he had burned it into her. That was what it had felt like as well.

Remus hissed from across the room and Hermione closed her eyes trying to block out his expression of pity. Professor Snape continued to examine it, looking at it closely, as if expecting it to move. Finally he looked up at her, instructing her to open her eyes. "Do you remember anything from when it happened? The spell that was said? The wand movement?"

"No." Hermione said, shaking her head. "I couldn't make out what he was saying; just that it was some sort of a spell. I couldn't see his wand but I felt it, digging into me. I just remember pain. Horrible burning pain."

Professor Snape nodded his head, before turning to look at Professor Dumbledore. "It's a variation of the Dark Mark." He said, "On first glance it appears to be the same but if you look closer you can see that the skull is narrower and the snake longer."

"Is it—is it like yours?" Hermione asked quietly, causing him to turn back to her. "Can he call me to him?"

"No, Miss Granger that would only be possible is the Dark Lord himself had given it to you." He told her quietly. She could have sworn there was a hint of regret in his voice, but she wasn't sure if it was for what had happened to her or his own choice to receive the mark willingly years ago.

"So you can you get rid of it, right?" Hermione asked, looking hopefully between him and Professor Dumbledore.

"Miss Granger—" Dumbledore began.

"I mean if it's not the real thing then it's…its just like a tattoo and wizards can get rid of tattoos with a spell. It leaves some scaring but it can be done. So just do that." Hermione told them.

"Miss Granger it's not that simple." Professor Snape said.

"Of course it's that simple!" She said, her voice rising. "Vanish it. Scourgify it. Just get rid of it, your wizards you can do that. Just make it go away."

Professor Snape looked back at Dumbledore, who nodded for him to proceed, before he raised his wand and pointed it at her. She flinched terribly and it took a minute before she was steady enough for him to cast the spell.

It was horrible. It was as if it was happening all over again. She withered in pain on the bed, calling out in anguish. It hurt. It hurt so bad, but they couldn't stop not until it was gone.

Professor Snape lifted the spell a moment later at Dumbledore's command. The Dark Mark was still there.

Hermione felt tears well up at the sight of it. It was still there. It wasn't supposed to still be there. She glanced over at Remus who was holding onto the bed frame so tightly his knuckles were white. Dumbledore also appeared apprehensive about what had just happened, or maybe he was just worried about her reaction of it still being there.

"Try again." She whispered.

"What?" Remus asked.

"Please try again, professor." She said looking directly at Professor Snape.

"It won't work Miss Granger—"

"We won't know that until you try everything." She persisted.

"Miss Granger—"

"_Please_."

"Miss Granger, Professor Snape has already tried everything." Dumbledore said coming forward. "He tried more than just the vanishing charm just now, that's why it took so long. And until we know more, I fear it will only cause you more pain to try to remove it and I won't allow that. Miss Granger, I'm very sorry, but we may never be able to remove it."

Hermione nodded her head slowly, fighting back the tears that were threatening to escape their confines and quickly pulled down her shirt. Maybe when she looked again, it would be gone.

--

"I…Its all kind of jumbled." Hermione said, wringing her hands together. Professor Dumbledore had asked her to come downstairs and describe what had happened at the emergency Order meeting he had called. He had told her that the details might allow them to figure out how they had gotten to her, how they knew where she was. She hadn't wanted to do it then, but she agreed knowing she really didn't have a choice. She wanted to do it now even less. Everyone was staring at her, some people practically gaping.

"Just tell us what you remember." Remus said, patting her hand lightly from next to her. "No one expects more than that."

"They came out of no where, they were hidden in the trees I guess." Hermione began nervously. "They stupefied Ron and then they grabbed me."

"Did you see how many of them there were?" Bill asked her causing her to look up startled. She hadn't realized they were going to be asking questions as well.

"Eight, ten maybe. I'm not really sure. " She told him. He nodded his head which she took for her cue to continue.

"Two of them…two of them grabbed me, pushed me up against a tree but I, I was able to get away. I ran trying to get away to hide in the woods so they wouldn't be able to find me, but it didn't work. They were firing off all these spells and I couldn't avoid them all. One of them hit me with the Cruciatus and then I…I was on the ground and in pain. So much pain." She whispered.

She didn't want to talk about this. She didn't want to see their looks of pity, there looks of understanding when she knew that they didn't understand, or at least not fully. She just wanted to forget it ever happened. To crawl into bed and just never come out.

She glanced over at Professor Snape and found him watching her, no pity in his eyes, no encouraging smile on his face. Instead he was scowling, looking at her as if she was less important then everyone else in the room. Somehow his sneer was easier to focus on then the overwhelming looks of pity on the faces around him and she found herself able to talk again.

"One of them…Mister—Lucius Malfoy came over and pulled me up off the ground. He kept telling me to be a good little girl, that everything would be fine if I just did what I was told." She felt the tears beginning to form. It hurt to remember. It made her feel like she was still out there, like they could still hurt her. "He…He…" She didn't want to tell them what had happened after that. "That's when he took off his mask. I didn't know it was him until then."

"He revealed his identity to you?" Kingsley asked. He sounded surprised.

"He wanted me to know who he was." Hermione said. She could feel the tears spill down her cheeks but she couldn't make them stop. She just wanted it all to stop. "He came closer and he, I could feel his wand in my side. After that all I felt was pain. When he was done I was barely standing but I was still standing and they, they didn't like that." Hermione said swallowing hard. "They took turns trying to make me scream. I…I don't remember anything after that."

"What did Malfoy do to you?" Tonks asked quietly. "Do you know?"

"Maybe its best you show them." Dumbledore told Hermione causing her to look up at him surprised. She didn't want them to see that. She didn't want them even to know about that.

"Albus, really—" Professor McGonagall began, but Dumbledore ignored her protest.

"Go ahead Miss Granger." He said nodding at her encouragingly.

Hermione stood shakily, grabbing at her chair for support. She closed her eyes not wanting to see the Order members' reactions. She lifted her shirt enough for the room to see the offensive mark and she knew, from the cries of outrage and shock that she heard, that they had. They only made the tears come harder.

"I don't remember anything else." Hermione said, pushing her shirt down so you could no longer see the mark. "Can I _please_ go back to my room?"

"Of course." Professor Dumbledore said. "Remus, could you please?"

Remus nodded, taking Hermione by the elbow and smiling down at her as he began to lead her out of the room. "You did wonderfully." He whispered to her.

"Wait just a minute." Someone asked. Hermione and Remus both turned around but she didn't recognize the man who was talking. "Lucius and the other men, they didn't…Are you sure that they didn't do anything _else_."

"I'm sure." Hermione said quietly. She knew what he was implying and that _didn't_ happen. She wouldn't have let that happen. But she couldn't help but think of the lust in his eyes, the brutal kiss that he had forced upon her. If the Order hadn't found her when they did, could something more of happened. If _they_ found her again, if he did, would it?

"And after they stupefied Mr. Weasley, they left him alone?" The man asked.

"Y-yes." Hermione answered. They had never gone back for Ron, they just left him there. Why didn't they go back for him? And it dawned on her. They weren't interested in him. They only wanted her, just her.

--

Remus carefully guided Hermione up the stairs. He was supporting most of her weight, and he would have carried her if he didn't think it would cause her more distress. She was still crying and he would have been surprised if she could actually see through the tears.

He led her down the hallway, passing Harry, Ron, and Ginny standing in the open doorway to Ron's room. Hermione didn't even notice them, but Remus did. He also noticed the extendable ears hastily shoved in their pockets and the worried looks on their faces. He would have to come and talk to them, find out what they had heard.

He gave them a smile before opening the door for Hermione to Molly and Arthur's room, where he had been told she was to sleep until the effects of the attack had worn off.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked, helping her sit down on the edge of the bed.

"I'm fine." She said trying to wipe the tears off her cheeks. She wasn't, not really, but she didn't want to tell him that.

"Severus left this pain potion for you to take before you want to bed." Remus said handing her the potion vial. "Do you need help getting into bed?"

"No." Hermione said shaking her head slightly. She quickly drank the potion, too tired to be able to taste it. Remus took the vial back from her as she climbed into the large bed. It made her look tiny, or maybe it was the look on her face that did that.

"Do you need anything else before I go back to the meeting?" He asked her.

"No" she said quietly.

"Alright, if you're sure. I'll see you in the morning." He told her before turning to leave.

"Wait!" Hermione said grabbing his hand, making him stop. She looked anxious and scared as he turned back to look at her. "I know you're supposed to go back to the meeting," she told him, "but can you stay here? Please, I don't want be alone again."

"Of course I'll stay." He told her with a smile, unable to refuse her request. He conjured up a chair and pulled it up next to the bed.

"Thank you." She said. She still hadn't let go of his hand.

--

The wind whipped around her as she felt herself pushed harder into the ground. She could see the silver mask hovering above her, as gloved hands held her wrists at her side. Tears were prickling behind her eyes as her vision began to blur. This wasn't happening, not again. They had promised her that she would be safe, promised that they would never be able to hurt her again. But here she was again, locked in the center of a circle of Death Eaters, knowing that this was never going to end well.

The man roughly pushed her hair out of her face, painfully grazing the large bruise on the side of her head from where she had hit her head on the frozen ground before. "Do you think your friends are going to miraculously appear and save you?" he asked chuckling darkly. "Trust me, they won't."

One by one the silver masks of the surrounding deatheaters fell away, revealing what she never wanted to see. Ron, his eyes glinting dangerously. Remus, with his mouth turned up into a snarl and George and Fred snickering at her pain. And Harry, his emerald eyes filled with malice and hate directed all at her. Something in her broke at the sight and she began to sob harder.

The man's grip tightened around her arms, drawing her attention solely back to him. It was Lucius. And she knew she shouldn't be surprised but she couldn't help but gasp. "No one is coming to save you this time." He told her.

She closed her eyes, so not have to see him smirking down at her, but she could still feel him pulling at her, at her clothing, practically shaking her. She was worried about what he would do. He hadn't had a chance to seriously harm her before, but now he had all the time he would need. No one was coming to save her. Everyone was against her.

He continued shaking her, harder now, and she could hear him yelling at her, but she couldn't understand what he was saying.

"Hermione. _Hermione_!"

He was saying her name, calling it out, but it didn't sound like him. It was not his usually silky voice, instead it was panicked and rough. More words were added to what he was saying, but she couldn't make them out, couldn't understand what he was trying to tell her.

Her eyes snapped open and for a moment she was the same silver mask looming over her, before it faded away to reveal Remus's panicked face.

"Its okay Hermione, you were having a nightmare." He told her, "But your fine now, its over. It's all over."

Hermione looked around the room; he was right she was back at the burrow, safe with Remus at her side. She had never even really left. But then why did had it felt so real? Why did she feel like she had been back in the woods again, violated again, and this time from her friends as well.

"Hermione, are you alright?" Remus asked her.

"No." Hermione whispered, before she buried her head in his shoulder. And for the first time in a long time, she answered that question truthfully.

--

Harry and Ron stood nervously outside Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's bedroom door. Remus had told them that Hermione had said it was alright for them to come see her, but neither one knew what to say to her, to make her feel better. After the attack, Ron had been instructed to stay in his room until he recovered from the shock of what happened. He remembered very little but was still quite bothered by the experience. Harry had been let into see him after a little while and told him what was going on with Hermione, that hadn't made him any less bothered.

Harry had been pretty freaked out himself. He hadn't known what had happened out in the woods and no one would or could tell him anything. After Professor Dumbledore had arrived no one would let him back into the room to see Hermione, no matter how hard he tried to make them. They kept telling him that they were healing her and that it would only cause her more distress if he went bursting in there. Part of him knew that they were right, but another part didn't care and wanted to run in there anyways. They had already let Snape in there, it wasn't as if he would cause any more distress then he was.

He had calmed down slightly though, when they let him in to see Ron. Seeing that he was okay, made him think that Hermione would be too. Together the two of them waited, hoping that someone would allow them into see Hermione.

Ginny came in a little bit later to bring Ron some dinner and tell them about the emergency Order meeting that Dumbledore had called downstairs. Apparently the downstairs of the Burrow was crawling with Order members, and they weren't allowed down there unless there was some sort of emergency. She did manage to grab some extendable ears before her mother could stop her though and the three of them sat in Ron's room listening to what had happened below.

Harry half wished that they hadn't of listened. As much as he wanted to hear it, wanted to know what had happened, listening to Hermione tearfully explain what had occurred had hurt, making him sick to his stomach. It was horrible. It was horrible to have to sit there and listen to it, and not be able to rush in there and stop them from making her talk, not to be able to do anything about it.

And now he knew what had happened. All of the horrible things that they had done, everything that scared her, terrified her last night. And he didn't know what to say to her. He knew everything that he hated to hear when people tried to comfort him; that everything would be okay, that it was over now and that's all that mattered, that they understood. He hated it when those things were said but now he understood what made people say them. Sometimes they were the only things to say.

Harry raised his hand and knocked on the door, best to just go in there, she already knew that they were coming. He heard Hermione call for them to come in and he pushed the door open, nodding for Ron to go first before following him in, quietly closing the door behind him.

When he saw Hermione lying in bed, Harry couldn't hide his reaction. He had never seen her like this, so fragile, so broken. Guilt over not being in the forest with them washed over him. He should have been there. He should have stopped this.

"Hi guys." She said quietly. She sounded tired.

"Hey, Hermione." Ron said quietly, slowly approaching the bed, Harry behind him. "How you feelin'?"

"Fine, I'm fine. Are you okay?" She asked him. She seemed to be searching his face, to see if there was anything to show her that he had been hurt worse then let on the night before. He looked alright, but that didn't mean he was.

"Of course I'm okay!" Ron said stepping closer to her. "It's you, you should be worried about. I'm sorry Hermione. I'm really sorry. I was so stupid to take you out alone last night. I should never—"

"It's not your fault Ron." She told him quietly. "None of it was your fault. I'm just so sorry that you got hurt."

"I'm fine." He reiterated, "Trust me I got the better half of the arrangement considering what happened to….you…" He trailed off, hoping his bluntness hadn't upset her.

"What did happen?" Harry asked, finally speaking up. Last night when she had been talking to the Order, it had sounded like she hadn't told them everything. Maybe she would tell them, tell him.

"I'd really rather not talk about it right now." Hermione said looking down at her hands. If it was up to her right now, neither of them would ever find out everything that had happened in the woods last night.

"We—we heard what you told the Order." Ron said.

"Then you know what happened." Hermione said sharply, "You shouldn't need me to explain it again."

"We just want to make sure that your okay." Harry said reaching out for her hand. She flinched away from him, surprised by the sudden contact and looked up at him wide-eyed.

"Hermione."

She could tell that she upset him, that he had taken it personal and not realized the real reason behind her shying away away. "I'm getting kind of tired." She told them. "Would you mind coming back later so I can get some sleep?" She didn't really want to be alone again, when she was alone all she could think about was the attack, but their guilty, worried looks were too much for her to take.

"No, course not." Ron said, "We understand."

"Yeah, we'll come back later." Harry said nodding his head, following Ron to the door. He looked back to see Hermione already lying down, facing the opposite wall. He had thought she looked fragile before, but seeing her in bed, looking so lost, frightened at the slightest touch. It was too much for him. He was almost glad that she's asked him to leave. He didn't know how much more he could have taken.

--

Hermione had cried herself to sleep after Harry and Ron had left. It was all too much to take. She couldn't handle it. Every time she closed her eyes, every time there was nothing to distract her, all she could think about was what had happened in the forest. Seeing Ron, hearing him apologize had just brought it all crashing down on he again. He could have been killed; he could have died because they were after her. And he apologized to her. He blamed himself when he had done absolutely nothing wrong. This wasn't fair, not to him, not to Harry, not to her. She just wanted it to all go away, for them to be kids again, worried about homework and scary professors again, not worried about attacks and deatheaters and being the death of someone they loved so much.

She had no rest from her thoughts, even when she was asleep. In her dreams she kept going back into the forest, horrible things happening to her. Sometimes it was just like what had happened, other times worse things happened, to her, to Ron. This time Harry had been there as well because he had wanted to see the fairies too. Both he and Ron had died and it had been her fault. She had had to watch it but she wasn't able to stop it.

She had woken up not long ago, still crying from her dream.

She heard the door to her room open and Hermione quickly tried to wipe the tears away. She couldn't see who had come in from the angle she was laying at, but she knew that Mrs. Weasley had a tendency to just walk in without knocking whenever she had something for her to eat. She couldn't really blame her though; it was her room after all.

"I'm not hungry Mrs. Weasley." She said hoping her voice was clearer then it sounded to her. "I'm really rather tired right now, and I'd like to be left alone so I can sleep."

"No one's ever called me my mum before. Fred yes, my mum no."

Hermione quickly rolled over to see George coming further into the room, closing the door behind him.

"What are you doing in here?" She asked. Her voice came out even, but more surprised then she would have liked. She hadn't expected him to come and see her. Before last night, they were barely speaking.

"You've been crying." He said stepping forward towards the bed.

"I'm fine." She said quickly.

"You're not fine." He said shaking his head.

"Your right, I'm not." She told him, "I was attacked last night; of course I'm not alright." She was tired of people telling her how she should be feeling. Of assuming they knew what she was feeling.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled. She could tell she had hurt his feelings. Part of her felt guilty, another part just didn't care anymore.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for." She told him in a kinder voice. The guilty part of her had one out, but only slightly.

"If I had—"

"This doesn't have anything to do with you George." Hermione told him sharply.

"There used to be a time we could talk. That was one of the best things about our relationship, we didn't tell each other everything, but we told each other the important things." He looked up at her hopefully, as if expecting her to break down and tell him everything.

"Things change, George." Hermione said quietly. "We broke up, they have to."

His face fell, but he nodded his head in acceptance before turning to leave.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, though she doubted that he heard her. If he had, he hadn't stopped to turn around or look at her. He had just kept walking and she couldn't blame him.

She hated to see that look on his face, to know that she had caused it. But she couldn't deal with this right now, she couldn't be the one to comfort him and make him feel better. She needed to make herself feel better first. And honestly, they did both need to move on; he needed to accept that and so did she. No matter how much it hurt.

--

Harry pulled out his chair at the table and sat down next to Ron for dinner. He glanced around the table to see that most of the house occupants were already there, Tonks and Mrs. Weasley still running around working on dinner and Kingsley and Bill in the living room talking about something quietly. Hermione was still not there again and by the looks of the number of place settings on the table, no one was expecting her.

"Is Hermione coming down to dinner?" Ron asked, voicing Harry's question. Half the table stopped talking at the question, while the other half began talking louder to fill the void. Apparently he and Ron weren't the only one to feel Hermione's absence.

"Hermione's still not feeling very well." Mrs. Weasley explained. "She's not quite up to eating dinner down here quite yet."

"It's been three days." Harry said, "I thought she was supposed to be feeling better."

Harry noticed Mr. and Mrs. Weasley share a look, but it was Remus who answered. "Harry, Hermione was subjected to large amount of the Cruciatus curse. Not enough to leave any long term effects, but long enough to cause some temporary ones." He told him, "It will most likely take some time before she feels completely better. It may take even longer before she feels entirely comfortable around such a large group of people."

Harry nodded his head in understanding, but honestly, he didn't really understand.

--

There was a shout from a room nearby, then a crash and a scream.

"RON?" Harry yelled, turning quickly from the monstrous transformation taking place before them. "GINNY? LUNA?"

"Harry!" Hermione screamed.

The Death Eater had pulled his head out of the bell jar. His appearance was utterly bizarre, his tiny baby's head bawling loudly while his thick arms flailed dangerously in all directions, narrowly missing Harry, who ducked. Harry raised his wand but to his amazement Hermione seized his arm.

"You can't hurt a baby!"

There was no time to argue the point. Harry could hear more footsteps growing louder from the Hall of Prophecy they had just left and knew, too late, that he ought not to have shouted and given away their position.

"Come on!" he said again, and leaving the ugly baby-headed Death Eater staggering behind them, they took off for the door that stood ajar at the other end of the room, leading back into the black hallway.

They had run halfway toward it when Harry saw through the open door two more Death Eaters running across the black room toward them. Veering left he burst instead into a small, dark, cluttered office and slammed the door behind them.

"_Collo—"_ began Hermione, but before she could complete the spell the door had burst open again and the two Death Eaters had come hurtling inside. With a cry of triumph, both yelled, "_IMPEDIMENTA!" _

Harry, Hermione, and Neville were all knocked backward off their feet. Neville was thrown over the desk and disappeared from view, Hermione smashed into a bookcase and was promptly deluged in a cascade of heavy books; the back of Harry's head slammed into the stone wall behind him, tiny lights burst in front of his eyes, and for a moment he was too dizzy and bewildered to react.

"WE'VE GOT HIM!" yelled the Death Eater nearest Harry, "IN AN OFFICE OFF—"

"_Silenco!" _cried Hermione, and the man's voice was extinguished. He continued to mouth through the hole in his mask, but no sound came out; he was thrust aside by his fellow.

"_Petrificus Totalus!" _shouted Harry, as the second Death Eater raised his wand. His arms and legs snapped together and he fell forward, facedown onto the rug at Harry's feet, stiff as a board and unable to move at all.

"Well don Ha—"

But the Death Eater Hermione had just struck dumb made a sudden slashing movement with his wand from which flew a streak of what looked like a purple flame. It passed right across Hermione's chest, she gave a tiny "oh!" as though of surprise and then crumpled onto the floor where she lay motionless.

"HERMIONE!"

Harry fell to his knees beside her as Neville crawled rapidly toward her from under the desk, his wand held up in front of him. The Death Eater kicked out hard at Neville's head as he emerged—his foot broke Neville's wand in two and connected with his face—Neville gave a howl of pain and recoiled, clutching his mouth and nose. Harry twisted around, his own wand held high, and saw that the Death Eater had ripped off his mask and was pointing is wand directly at Harry, who recognized the long, pale, twisted face from the _Daily Prophet_: Antonin Dolohov, the wizard who had murdered the Prewetts.

Dolohov grinned. With his free hand, he pointed from the prophecy still clutched in Harry's hand, to himself, then at Hermione. Though he could no longer speak his meaning could not have been clearer. _Give me the prophecy, or you get the same as her…_

"Like you won't kill us all the moment I hand it over anyway!" said Harry.

A whine of panic inside his head was preventing him thinking properly. He had one hand on Hermione's shoulder, which was still warm, yet did not dare look at her properly. _Don't let her be dead, don't let her be dead, it's my fault if she's dead…_

"Whaddever you do, Harry," said Neville fiercely from under the desk, lowering his hands to show a clearly broken nose and blood pouring down his mouth and chin, "don'd gib it to him!"

Then there was a crash outside the door, and Dolohov looked over his shoulder—the baby headed Death Eater had appeared in the doorway, his head bawling, his great fists still flailing uncontrollably at everything around him.

Harry seized his chance: "_PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" _

The spell hit Dolohov before he could block it, and he toppled forward across his comrade, both of them rigid as boards and unable to move an inch.

"Hermione," said at once, shaking her as the baby-headed Death Eater blundered out of sight again. "Hermione, wake up…."

"Whaddid he do to her?" said Neville, crawling out from under the desk again to kneel at her other side, blood streaming from his rapidly swelling nose.

"I dunno…"

Neville groped for Hermione's wrist.

"I can't finb a pulse." Neville told him looking up panicked. "I can't finb a pulse!"

A powerful wave of distress swept over Harry and he felt light-headed. She couldn't be dead. She couldn't be.

"No, she's alive." Harry told him. "She has to be. You must be looking in the wrong place." He pulled Hermione's wrist out of Neville's hand and frantically searched for a pulse himself. He couldn't find it.

"No, no, no. You can't be dead. You can't be. Hermione wake up." He said. "Wake up Hermione!"

He lowered himself so his ear was above her mouth so he could hear her breathing, feel it. But he couldn't hear it, couldn't feel it. Harry's heart sank in his chest. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to be fine, they were supposed to carry her out of there and the Order would come and lots of bad things were going to happen, but she was supposed to be okay, she was supposed to be _alive_.

"Come on Hermione, wake up." He said shaking her. She felt limp in his arms and he felt himself begin to cry. "You have to wake up." He yelled at her, "This can't be real. This can't be happening. Just wake up. _Please,_ wake up!"

Harry bolted up in bed, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. It took him a moment to recognize that he was at the Burrow, sleeping in the bed across from Ron and not back in the Department of Mysteries again. It didn't calm him though. The feelings of loss were still there, everything had been so real and he felt like he had just watched his best friend die.

This wasn't the first time he had dreamt about that night, dreamt about watching her crumple onto the floor, about the fear of her dying in front of him, because of him. But this was first time that the dream had changed, that his imagination had created something scarier than the reality of what did happen that night. Before tonight it hadn't had to, it had been scary enough.

He had to fight the urge to jump out of bed and go to Hermione, just to make sure she was alright, that she really was safe and alive. But it was the middle of the night and if he went charging in there, it would only scare her and he didn't want to do that, so he stayed where he was. But he didn't fall asleep again that night. Instead the image of himself desperately shaking Hermione's limp body as he yelled for her to wake up kept replaying in his head keeping him awake.

--

Hermione sat in the middle of the bed, tracing the Dark Mark on her hip with her finger. She had grown to hate it in a very short time. Professor Dumbledore had told her that there was no way to remove it, that it may always be there. Professor Snape had tried to vanish it, and it had been incredibly painful and done no good, but that hadn't stopped her from trying to get rid of it herself. But it was still there. No matter what she did, no matter how many times she tried, it was still there. A reminder of what they did to her, to how close they had gotten, to the fact that they could have killed her if they really had wanted too.

"Knock, knock," came Remus's voice from the open doorway.

She looked up and smiled briefly before telling him to come in. She hoped he couldn't tell the smile was forced.

"I hope you don't mind me coming up here," he told her pulling the chair up to her bed. "I just wanted to see if you felt like coming downstairs for dinner."

"I don't think so Remus…" She told him. "I'd rather stay up here for now."

"Well then maybe Harry and Ron and I could eat up here with tonight." He suggested.

"No, it's alright. I don't want to put anyone out." She told him shaking her head. "Besides I'm not very hungry right now."

"I understand." Remus said nodding his head gravely. And he did understand. He knew what it felt like to be attacked, he had seen the after effects of attacks on others, felt them himself. He understood where she was coming from; he just wished that there was something more he could do. That he could convince her that she could come out of this room and everything would be alright, that she didn't need to hide. That she was safe. He had promised her once before that she would be safe and he hadn't been able to keep that promise, this time he would. He would make sure that she was safe. Now, if only he could convince her of that.

"Molly or I will come back with your dinner a little bit later." He told her standing up, "I hope feel better."

He smiled at her before turning and walking back to the door, when her quiet, almost child like, voice stopped him.

"It's never coming off is it?" she asked causing him to turn back around. "How am I going to explain it to people? My parents? My roommates who know what it means? Will they even believe me when I tell them what happened?"

"Hermione, I know it must be hard." He said perching himself on the edge of the bed. She looked so sad, so scared of what it meant, he couldn't help but want to comfort her. "But that symbol doesn't define you; it is nothing like who you are. You have to remember that."

She nodded her head, but he could tell that she didn't believe it, or at least not fully. "We'll figure it out, Hermione, I promise you we will." He told her. "Until then, you can use glamour charms; no one will ever be able to see it."

"But it'll still be there." She said looking up at him. His heart broke at the look in her eyes.

"Yes, it'll still be there." He told her.

--

Remus left a few minutes later, passing Harry and Ron on the stairs on the way. Harry immediately took notice of the upset look on his face and where he had just come from. He tapped Ron on the shoulder and motioned for him to quietly follow him up to his room.

"What's going on?" Ron asked quietly as Harry began rooting around in his trunk.

"Something's up." Harry told him. "Remus took Ginny's extendable ears when he caught us listening, but I know I have some in here somewhere."

"Here they are!" Harry said victoriously a few minutes later. He passed one to Ron and stuck one in his own ear, before quietly creeping out into the hallway and down onto the staircase where they were able to hear into the kitchen. It took a moment, but soon they could hear Mrs. Weasley's voice.

"I wish she would let someone in, talk to someone." She said. "She won't talk to me, she won't talk to youGeorge tried to get her to talk to him but she didn't tell him anything. She'll let Harry and Ron into the room, but that's not very often and from what I can tell she doesn't tell them anything."

"The Burrow was supposed to be safe;" Remus's voice came. "The Death Eaters destroyed that for her. I fear they took the last of her innocence as well."

"Remus—"

"She hasn't been a child for years, Molly, none of them have." Mr. Weasley said. "They've seen far too much for them still to be."

"It's the Dark Mark that's really affecting her." Remus said. "I think she's afraid of what it means."

"It doesn't mean anything." Molly said shaking her head, "The Death Eaters are just trying to intimidate her, scare her."

"Yes and unfortunately it's working." Tonks voice came.

"The Dark Mark?!" Ron exclaimed, pulling the extendable ear out. "What are they talking about?"

Harry had forgotten, Ron hadn't seen the mark, he had still been recovering himself and Harry had never gotten around to telling him. He was still in shock over it himself. "The Death Eaters….You remember in the Order meeting when Dumbledore told Hermione to show everyone something. Well that's what it was." He explained. He watched the color drain out of Ron's face.

"I can't believe they did that." Ron whispered.

"Neither could she." He said before putting the extendable ear back in. A moment later, still white-faced, Ron did the same.

"The amount of power it would take to destroy that mirror—" Remus's voice came.

"She shattered a mirror she didn't blow up the entire house." Tonks said the sarcasm clear in her voice.

"You don't understand, you didn't see it." Remus told her. "She didn't just shatter it, she destroyed it. The largest pieces of glass were centimeters in size, blasted across the room with the wooden frame completely intact, not a scratch on it. The fact is she looked in the mirror and hated what she saw, so she made it so she didn't have to look at it. The power it would take to do that without a wand, is much more then that of a sixth year. The type of power _he's_ looking for."

"I know Dumbledore said he believed it to be her, but surely you don't think it's _her_." Mrs. Weasley said.

"I think that _he_ has good reason to think it's her." Remus told her.

"And what exactly do the two of you think your doing?" Bill's deep voice came from above them. Harry looked up startled, straining to see Bill standing at the top of the steps looking down at them.

"We were…umm…" Ron began, standing up.

"George and Fred asked us to test some new extendable ears." Harry said, trying his best to come up with a believable lie. To bad his best wasn't better.

"Sure they did." Bill said rolling his eyes at them both. He caught sight of Ron's pale face and stopped, realizing that the situation had been harder on them then he realized. He knew that Hermione had barely been out of her room and it was bound to affect them, he knew the hold that she had over the boys. There was probably no one closer to them, but each other; they were the only ones that even begun to know what the each other had gone through over the years.

"You know what, I think I'll pull the cool older brother card now and if you guys leave and give me the extendable ears, I won't tell anyone or ask you what you heard."

--

Harry dreamt about the Department of Mysteries again that night, only this time it had been Hermione who had fallen behind the veil instead of Sirius. Her eyes had locked onto his own as she fell, as if asking him why he had done this to her, why he hadn't saved her. It was an expression he hoped never to see again. He could still feel the hollowness from that night, the emptiness and sorrow had faded but it was still there. And it felt like it had just happened again. Only this time, it felt like he had lost not only Sirius but Hermione as well.

Slowly, and as quietly as he could, Harry made his way down the stairs and towards the kitchen with the excuse of wanting a drink, but if he was honest with himself than he would admit that a part of him, a very large part, hoped that Hermione would be downstairs making herself a cup of tea, just like she had been days ago. She had barely been out of her room since the attack, only leaving when forced or to use the bathroom. She hadn't talked to him, hadn't come to him for help. He just wanted to fix it, to fix her, but he didn't know how.

She wasn't in the kitchen when he got there. And she didn't arrive in the thirty minutes he spent drinking water waiting to see if she came. He pushed away the feeling of disappointment and made his way back upstairs. He was just passing Hermione's room, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's normally, when he heard her inside. She sounded like she was crying, whimpering as if she was in pain or terrified. He couldn't not go in, couldn't leave her alone.

He slowly opened the door poking his head inside the room. Hermione was lying in the middle of bed, tangled up in the sheets, obviously still asleep and having a nightmare. Apparently this was not the night for anyone to sleep well at the Burrow, even those who deserved it.

"Hermione." He said sitting down on the bed. "Hermione wake up."

She moaned, as if in pain, but that was her only answer.

"Hermione, its okay. Wake up." Harry said gently shaking her shoulder.

Hermione instantly flinched at the contact, going from quiet pain to full out thrashing around. Harry tried to calm her down, putting his hands on both her shoulders but she continued fighting him, slapping and hitting whatever she could reach. She was still asleep, fighting her nightmares.

"Hermione! Hermione wake up!" Harry said loudly, loud enough for her eyes to snap open in horror. She continued fighting him, this time harder, struggling to free herself from his grip on her shoulders. She didn't know who he was; she didn't know why he was there. "Hermione it's me! It's Harry!" He told her, trying to avoiding her fists. "I'm not going to hurt you Hermione. No one's going to hurt you!"

Hermione's look of horror quickly transformed into a look of surprise, her hands still up in the air prepared to hit Harry again. Her look of surprise quickly changed into a look of fear and sadness as tears began to well up in her eyes and stream down her face. Harry hated to see her look like that. "Hermione it's okay, it was just a nightmare." He told her.

"No it wasn't," Hermione whispered quietly, "No it wasn't." And she moved herself closer to him, putting her head on his shoulder and lowering her arms and wrapping them around him, fisting his t-shirt in her hands as if to make sure he couldn't leave.

"Hermione…"

"I keep dreaming of that night in the forest. It's not always the same, sometimes it's different, sometimes its worse, but it's always terrifying." Her voice was barely a whisper and if he wasn't sitting so close to her he wouldn't have been able to make out what she was saying.

"Hermione…I know it's scary, trust me I know, but…" He didn't know what to tell her. His own dreams had haunted him long enough to know that there wasn't a way to stop them from bothering him. She could tell herself that they weren't real; she could tell herself that dreams can't come true, but that wouldn't make the feelings go away, it wouldn't take the images away. He looked down at her to see that the tears streaming down her face, a lost look in her eyes. He didn't know what to do to help her, so he shifted his position so he was sitting up on the bed right next to her, pulling her closer as he wrapped his arms tighter around her. "It's okay Hermione." He told her, awkwardly patting her shoulders. "I'm here now…and you don't have to be alone anymore."

She nodded and then moved her head down so it was resting on his chest as she began to relax in his presence. It wasn't a lot but at least it was something. It was more than he had gotten from her before. She was still crying, she was still scared and she never did go back to sleep that night, but he was there and this time when she cried, she wasn't alone.

--

Harry didn't leave Hermione's room for a very long time. Though she didn't say much, she had attached herself to him and every time she thought he was going to leave her grip on him tightened. Harry didn't mind. Being with her, knowing that his presence was somehow comforting, despite him not knowing what to do, let him feel like he was doing something, as miniscule as it may be.

Remus had found them in there that morning and he was surprised but he did his best not to show it. Harry could tell that he was just happy that Hermione was opening up to someone. But that was the problem; she wasn't opening up to him. She didn't talk much, not like she normally did, and when she did, it wasn't of any importance. She didn't talk about what happened, she didn't talk about her dreams, she didn't tell him why she was still so scared. She would talk about school, she talked about Christmas and what they had both bought the others. And he was glad, glad that she was talking, glad that she trusted him enough to let him stay in the room with her. But he just wished that he could do something more. That he could fix whatever was wrong.

He stayed with her the whole day, eating with her, sitting with her. He only left when he had to use the bathroom and once to change his clothes. He stayed with her until he was tired to stay awake, when Hermione noticed she sent him off to his own room, apologizing profusely for keeping him there with her when he had better things to do. He told her that he wasn't tired, that he _wanted_ to stay, but she ignored his words, a guilty look on her face, and in the end he left, no matter how much he didn't want to.

Harry hadn't slept well after he left. No matter how tired he was, he couldn't turn his thoughts off as they repeatedly reminded him of the girl down the hall and how much she was hurting. Hours later he fell into a troubled slumber, but his mind was never off of Hermione.

When he woke up the next morning he dressed quickly, hurrying downstairs to grab some breakfast for himself and Hermione, but when he got there Mrs. Weasley had just shook her head. "I already took her breakfast." She explained, "And she said that she'd like to be alone right now and for no one to bother her for a little while."

"But I'm allowed to go in, right?" Harry asked her. "She said I could?"

"No, sweetheart, she said no one." Mrs. Weasley said gently.

Harry felt like the air had been kicked out of him. And suddenly he wasn't very hungry. He grabbed a piece of toast off the table before returning upstairs to Ron's room. He left the door and sat down on the far end of the bed, the side of the bed where he could see right into the hallway, the side of the bed that looked directly down the hall where he knew Hermione was.

--

Ron came back up after breakfast and asked him what had happened the day before and Harry had explained, keeping some things to himself that he thought Hermione might not want people to know, even Ron. Some things he kept to himself because he didn't want to worry Ron. He was upset having to see Hermione's pale lost face, Ron didn't have to be.

Together Harry and Ron spent the day in his room, playing chess, talking about Quidditch, building card houses out of exploding snap cards; all in a place where Harry could see if Hermione's door opened. It never did.

Later that night, after most of the family and Order members had gathered downstairs to celebrate Christmas Eve, Harry and Ron were still upstairs, playing chess. They had been playing this game for over an hour and Harry knew that Ron had had the opportunity to win several times, but had chosen not to so the game would last longer so they would have an excuse to stay upstairs. They had promised Mrs. Weasley that they would join the festivities when they were done with that game, they had just never promised that it would end soon.

"Hey guys." Remus said stepping into the doorway. "Still playing that same game?"

"Yeah, this one seems to being taking awhile." Ron said looking at the board thoughtfully.

"I think I'm getting better at it." Harry said looking up at Remus.

"It was bound to happen after awhile." Ron said with a grin.

"Well it's good to see you having fun." Remus told them. "But Ron, Molly would like you to come down stairs and join the family if that's alright."

Ron nodded his head in acceptance and stood up. They had both been waiting for someone to come and tell them to come downstairs.

"And Harry, Professor Dumbledore is here. He was hoping that the two of you could speak privately." Remus said. "Ron, you don't mind if they talk in here do you?"

"No, no I don't care." Ron said shaking his head.

"Good." Remus said, "Then come along with me and Harry, the Headmaster will be here in just a moment."

"Okay." Harry said as he watched the two men leave, Ron turning around enough to give Harry a questioning look that Harry answered with a shrug. He didn't know what Dumbledore wanted to talk to him about either.

"Hello Harry." Dumbledore said a few minutes later as he walked in the door. Harry noticed that he closed it behind them.

"Professor Dumbledore." Harry said, squirming in his seat as he watched the Headmaster sit down on Ron's bed across from him. It was odd to see him in someplace other then Hogwarts, to see him at the Burrow as if he should be there, when really he shouldn't be. Most headmasters weren't required to go to their students' homes so frequently.

"I hope you don't mind me intruding on your holiday." Dumbledore told him.

"I don't mind." Harry said.

"I'm glad to hear that Harry." He said with a smile. "I wished to speak to and after talking with Mrs. Weasley I felt it best that I come by now, instead of waiting to talk with you at Hogwarts as I had planned."

"What did Mrs. Weasley say?" Harry asked.

"She's just worried, about you, about Mr. Weasley, about Miss Granger."

"About Hermione?"

"I see you're worried about her as well."

"Of course I'm worried about her!" Harry said standing. "She's in that room all alone. She won't let anyone in. And all because…. Why her? Why did they have to choose her? She doesn't deserve this, not at all. She hasn't done anything."

"Yes Harry, she has."

"What?" Harry asked looking up at the man in disbelief. How could he blame Hermione for this? She had done nothing wrong; she didn't deserve what had happened to her. No one deserved that, but especially not Hermione.

"She stood up to him Harry." Dumbledore explained calmly. "She has declared to the world that she believes Voldemort to be evil; she's even able to say his name. She is strong and she is dedicated and willing to do anything for what and who she believes in. Is it any wonder why he chose her?"

"It's just not fair." Harry said sinking down onto the bed, ignoring Dumbledore's intense gaze. "She hasn't left her room, she doesn't talk. She's scared, I know she is, but I can't fix it. She won't tell me how to fix it. I just want my friend back, but I'm scared that I won't be able too."

--

Hermione sat alone in her room on the window ledge, a blanket wrapped around her as she stared at the snow falling down outside. She could no longer see that path that had led her and Ron away from the Burrow and into the hands of the enemy. It was almost as if someone was trying to cover up what happened there, make it disappear. She wished it was that simple, that a blanket of snow could truly cover up what happened, make the bruises disappear, cover up the aches in her bones and the chilling nightmares of that night that never seemed to stop.

She could still feel their hands on her, his lips on her own. She felt violated, no matter how many baths she took or how hard she had scrubbed. Their masks were still engraved in her mind, as was Ron's frozen body. She felt lost, inadequate at not being able to stop them, at needing saved _again_. She felt weak and tired and she hated that feeling but didn't know what to do to make it go away.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by a knock on her door. She closed her eyes and hoped that they would go away. She didn't want to see anyone; she wasn't ready to see anyone. Something no one seemed to understand. She needed time to process what had happened, to accept what happened. She needed time to compose herself to deal with the emotions she was feeling and she couldn't do that with someone constantly asking her if she was okay, with everyone staring at her, walking on egg-shells around her constantly reminding her of what she was trying to forget. She couldn't convince everyone else was okay, if she couldn't convince herself.

Another knock came this time louder; they obviously weren't going to let her ignore them. She swung her feet over the window seat ledge and stood up. She hoped it wasn't George again, she couldn't stand to see his lost hurt face again. One time had made her feel guilty enough. She would make it up to him someday, if they all lived through this war. They just had to do that first.

She opened the door to see Dumbledore standing there, his bright red robes contrasting deeply with the dark hallway, preparing to knock once again. Professor Snape was standing behind him, less noticeable in his traditional teaching robes. She felt her heart sink at the sight of them. If they were here something else had happened. If they were here then that meant that they would ask questions, that they would expect something of her and right now she couldn't take that.

"Ah, good, I was afraid that we might have caught you sleeping, Miss Granger." Dumbledore said his normal twinkle in his eyes.

"No." Hermione said quietly, pulling her blanket closer around her. At that moment she did want someone there with her. She wanted Harry back. She wanted him there to tell her that everything was going to be okay, to hold her and make sure she knew that she wasn't alone no matter how she felt. She wanted him there to chase Professor Snape away, to answer Professor Dumbledore's questions for her.

"I hope you don't mind us surprising you, but I thought that it would be best if Severus checked up on you, make sure everything is healing correctly."

"Oh...Al—Alright." Hermione stuttered, pulling the door open the rest of the way.

Dumbledore made his way over to the chair Remus had drawn up to the side of the bed, Professor Snape close behind him, placing his black bag on the bed and standing beside it. "Sit, Miss Granger." he instructed her, gesturing to the far end of the bed. Hermione did as she was told, knowing it was best not to argue with him, as she would only lose. Weeks of occulemency lessons had taught her that, if nothing else.

"It appears that most of the scratches and cuts are gone." Professor Snape said observing her closely.

Hermione shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, but nodded in agreement. "Yes." she said quietly. "All of the small ones from the glass have completely disappeared, only a few of the larger ones from the...from the attack are still there."

"Yes, I thought that might be the case." he said, pulling a vial out of his bag. "This will help them heal quicker and the scars fade, when rubbed into the skin. Its much stronger then the last, it should only take one application."

"I...ummm..." Hermione shook her head, recoiling at the thought of him, or anyone else for that matter, touching her long enough for that to work.

"You may do yourself, once we have left." He told, a smirk playing on his lips. He had obviously sensed her discomfort.

"Thank you." she said quietly.

"The bruises?" He asked.

"Only the most severe are left." She told him.

"I can supply you with a salve to apply to those as well." Professor Snape told her.

"It's alright." She said shaking her head. "They aren't that bad."

The bruises left were mainly on her back from withering on the ground, hitting her back as the Cruciatus curse caused her to convulse on the frozen ground. She didn't have a way to reach them and she certainly wasn't going to ask anyone for help. She didn't want them to have to see. She didn't need told how bad they looked.

His eyes narrowed in on her, particularly on her forehead where there was still a remainder of a bruise where she had struck her head against the cold, frozen ground. "I'll leave it, incase you change your mind." he drawled, placing it on the nightstand. "There's no reason to have to make another trip here, just because you haven't looked in a mirror."

Hermione cringed at the insult and looked away. She could see Professor Dumbledore watching the interaction but he seemed distracted and appeared older then she had seen him in a long time. His cheery, holiday robes did nothing to hide the sadness now displayed in his face. That certainly didn't make her feel any better.

"Have you been experiencing any pain? Any unexpected shaking?" Professor Snape asked, making her look back at him.

"No shaking," Hermione said shaking her head, "I've been a little sore, but—"

"Most likely from the Cruciatus." Professor Snape said, nodding his head. "Repeated exposure will affect you for longer periods of time."

Hermione closed her eyes at the reminder. She wondered if they had done it for that reason. To constantly remind her of what they had done, the combined power that they hold over her. As if she could forget it.

"Miss Granger? Are you alright?" Dumbledore asked her.

She opened her eyes to see him, and even Professor Snape, watching her closely a worried expression on their faces. "I'm fine" she assured them.

"Good." He told her. "Professor Snape will be leaving you something for that as well, but be sure not to take too much."

"This vial should contain twelve doses," Professor Snape said holding up a small vial. "One small swallow every twelve hours. You shouldn't need to use it all, but it will help until the pain passes entirely."

"Thank you." Hermione said as he placed that vial next to the other two. More reminders, she didn't know whether to be thankful of the relief they would bring or resentful of the need for them.

"Now, about the dark mark—" Professor Snape began.

"What about it?" Hermione asked quickly.

"Have you experienced any pain from the area around it?" He asked.

"No." Hermione said, her eyes growing worried.

"It hasn't changed colors, or caused any flare ups of pains?" He asked her.

"No."

"That's good," He said, though it seemed to be directed more towards Dumbledore then her.

"Why is that good?" Hermione asked.

"Other then the obvious," Professor Snape said, "It means that it is most likely just symbol, a message, and that it cannot be used like the dark mark."

"Oh." Hermione said, her shoulders sagging from relief. She hadn't been aware of how much she had worried that it was the real thing, that somehow Professor Snape had been wrong. At least now she knew that they couldn't get to her, or at least not through that.

"Well that is a relief." Dumbledore said. His eyes had begun twinkling again as he directed his attention to her. She found comfort in that twinkle. "It seems as if you'll be in tip-top shape in no time, ready to get out of this room."

"Yeah." Hermione said, forcing herself to nod along with him.

"I know this has been difficult for you Miss Granger." Dumbledore continued. "None of us foresaw this attack, not here, and I only wish that we could have done something more to prevent it."

"If only we could prevent all terrible things." He said, his eyes locking on her own. From the corner of her eye, she saw Professor Snape's head snap up as he looked back and forth between them.

"I wish the same thing." Hermione agreed quietly.

"I'm glad to hear you say that Miss Granger." Dumbledore said, "Because there is something I would like to speak to you about, something that may prevent something else terrible from happening."

"Of course." Hermione said. She didn't know what she could do, but if it could prevent anyone else from being hurt like herself, like Ron, then she would do it.

"I understand that we all deal with things in our own ways. When one student gets a bad grade it may lead them to working harder for the next test, another it may discourage and they will get a worse grade on the next test. It all depends on the person."

Hermione nodded in agreement, her gaze shifting to Professor Snape whose expression was now blank, but was continuing to watch the Headmaster closely.

"What happened to you was a horrible thing, Miss Granger." Dumbledore said regaining Hermione's full attention. "But I fear...I fear that in the way you are handling it, that seeing you withdraw into yourself, seeing how much the attack has affected you, will lead Mr. Potter into doing something impulsive and dangerous, in order to fix it."

"What?" Hermione asked.

"You already displayed that you have had similar thoughts when you asked to keep your dreams between us."

"I know but..."

Hermione felt as if the air had been kicked out of her. Had he really just asked her to put her own feelings aside, her own emotional health, to help Harry?

"I would not ask you this if I didn't feel it necessary." He said, sensing her hesitation. "But after speaking with Mr. Potter—"

"You talked to him about it?" Hermione asked, surprised.

"He fears that he's to blame for the attack and he fears that his friend will never return to him. And _I_ fear that he is going to do something foolish and this time there will be no one there to save him." He told her. "I know it is a lot to ask of you Miss Granger, but I think it is best if Mr. Potter sees that you are beginning to move on. Don't you?"

She didn't see how she really had a choice. She couldn't do that to Harry. She couldn't knowingly hurt him and do nothing about it; she would never forgive herself if he put himself in danger for her. The death of Sirius had been so hard on him because he blamed himself as if it had been him that had fired the spell and not Bellatrix. She knew that he had to be blaming himself now as well, for not going with her and Ron, for not getting there sooner, for things he had no control over but always seemed to think he did. And Dumbledore knew that, she knew he did when he asked her that. He was asking her to put Harry ahead of herself and she couldn't say no to it.

Hermione nodded in agreement, unable to look Dumbledore in the eyes. She could see Professor Snape still watching him, as if he too was questioning what he had just done. He appeared unsettled by his request of her and she felt oddly comforted that at least one of the two men in the room with her might have considered her own feelings, even if it wasn't the one she would have thought it to be. She glanced back at Dumbledore to see him smiling softly at her, his eyes twinkling as they watched her. That she no longer felt comforted by.

--

Hermione awoke the next morning to a bed full of presents. She didn't much care at the moment what anyone had gotten her, but she forced herself to open them and be happy with whatever it was she got, Dumbledore's words still ringing in her ears. If Harry believing she was happy, that she was okay, would keep her safe, then she would wear the biggest grin she could without breaking into tears from the pain.

After the last present was opened, a sweater from Mrs. Weasley, Hermione stood slowly before making her way downstairs, where she could already hear voices. She stopped at the bottom of the steps, where she could clearly see the kitchen but no one should notice her. Everyone else was down there already. She could hear Harry and Ron laughing loudly, Mrs. Weasley scolding George and Fred over something that they had done. She was sure, though she couldn't seen them, that Mr. Weasley, and most likely Remus as well, was trying to hide his own amusement over whatever it was they had done.

She felt so disconnected from it all, like she didn't deserve to go into the kitchen because the moment that she did, they would stop laughing and looks of amusement would change into looks of pity and sorrow and she would be reminded of how much she stood out from them now.

She was about to turn around, to go back upstairs and spend the rest of the day there and just try again tomorrow when the holiday spirit had hopefully worn off, when Harry looked up and saw her standing there. A huge smile broke out across his face, reminding her of when he was eleven and had won his first quidditch game, and she couldn't bring herself to turn back.

"Hermione!" He called, pushing his chair back and making his way over to her. "What are you doing down here?"

"Well it is Christmas." Hermione said shrugging her shoulders. "I just thought I should come down, join in the celebration. But I can always go back upstairs if you—"

"No!" Harry said quickly. "I was just surprised. Come on," he said taking her hand to lead her into the kitchen. Hermione took a deep breathe, fighting to urge to run away. "You can sit between me and Ron."

Hermione smiled at him and sat down in the chair that he directed her towards. Ron smiled at her as well and she could see that he too was happy to see her again. Guilt crashed over her at knowing that she had hurt her friends these last few days, that she had caused them to worry about her. But everything just felt so wrong, it still felt wrong. The loud voices hurt her ears, and the laughter seemed almost foreign to her ears after so many days of not hearing it. Every time Ron reached for another piece of bacon, she had to force herself not to react. It was hard. It was so hard.

And everyone tried to act as if this was normal, as if nothing had happened and she hadn't just spent the last week cooped up in her room unwilling to see almost everyone. But when they thought she wasn't looking, when they thought that Harry and Ron really had distracted her with talks of what they had both gotten for Christmas, she noticed them watching her worried, noticed them sharing looks with one another.

George didn't seem to be looking at her at all. Perhaps she had been too harsh with him, but maybe it was better this way. Maybe it was what they needed to put some distance between them. But it still hurt that he wouldn't look at her, even if she didn't deserve it.

"You okay?" Harry asked leaning over, causing her to jump in surprise. She forced herself to smile back at him.

"Better than I've been in days." She told him. He smiled back at her seemingly happy with her answer. And it made her feel a tiny bit better that at least someone was benefiting from her charade because it certainly wasn't her.

_**A/N: So, I'm back and with the longest chapter I've ever written. Hopefully that makes up for lack of update for a while. This chapter was incredibly hard to write because I was trying to make sure I was realistic with Hermione's feelings. Being attacked, especially in the way that she was isn't something that you get over quickly and I wanted to make sure that I expressed her feelings in a true manner. It would be unfair to you guys and to the character if I didn't. **_

**_As always, I'm sorry for the grammatical and spelling errors. Still no beta, just me. But if someone would like to volunteer to beta for this story, I might just take you up on it. You'd get advanced copies of the chapter, if anyone's interested. _**

_**Please Review!! I always love to hear from you guys and you have such wonderful things to say and ideas that I would never have thought of. I try really hard to reply to everyone, but if I do miss you, sorry but I always appreciate what you guys have to say. **_


	11. Chapter Ten: Descending Darkness

_**Chapter Ten:**_

_**Descending Darkness**_

"_I can feel the night beginning_

_Separate me from the living_

_Understand me_

_After all I've seen_

_Piecing every thought together_

_Find the words to make me better_

_If I only knew_

_How to pull myself apart"_

**--All that I'm Living For by Evanescence**

Hermione smiled softly at Harry and Ron as she watched them playing chess across from her. She had spent the entire morning with them and she was sure that she had them convinced that she was feeling better. And she did feel a little better. When it was just the three of them, when she could convince herself that nothing had changed, when things seemed normal, everything was better. It felt right to be out of Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's room. It felt right to be with Harry and Ron. But it felt wrong to lie to them. It felt wrong to start pretending again.

After the attack, everything had been terrible, everything had felt wrong. She couldn't stand to be around anyone but she hated to be alone. Everything was confusing and she had just felt very lost. Like the Death Eaters had taken something from her in the forest. But she had also felt a weight lifted from her. Alone in the Weasley's bedroom, she didn't have to pretend that she was okay. She didn't have to lie or force herself to be happy. And while she knew that wallowing in self-pitying and replaying what happened in the forest was not the way to get better, to start feeling like herself again, it gave her an excuse to finally let all of her feelings out. It gave her an outlet. It allowed her to cling to Harry, to hold onto Remus, without them questioning her. It had been nice to be held. It had been nice to be comforted.

She had pushed them away when she realized how much she had been depending on them. She knew what she was doing wasn't going to help anyone, so she tried to give herself time to become herself again. As sad and hurt as she was, she had been trying to pick up the pieces and fix herself. It just wasn't going as well as she had hoped. Every time that she had started to feel better, she was reminded of the attack, she reminded of everything that could happen. Her dreams had haunted her, had forced her to acknowledge the what-ifs and left her fearing what could happen if she went outside again. And as much as she wanted to get better, as much as she wanted to leave that room, she had been too scared to. She hadn't been able to make herself.

Now she was back to pretending again. And while she knew it was necessary and she knew that she was doing it for Harry, she wished that there wasn't a reason to keep pretending, that Dumbledore hadn't asked her to fall back into that role. Because as much as she wanted to be strong for Harry, she wanted the time she should have had to become strong again, instead of just pretending to be.

Grabbing a piece of stationary from her trunk, Hermione shoved those thoughts aside as she settled down on her own bed. She had told Mrs. Weasley that she thought she would be alright to move back to her room with Tonks now. Everyone seemed quite pleased with her progress. While everyone was surprised, they had all told her how good they thought she was doing and how glad they were to see her downstairs. She hadn't realized how much she had worried everyone. It made her feel even guiltier.

Dipping her quill into ink, Hermione began writing to her parents. They weren't aware of what had happened, Dumbledore thought it was best that they remain worry free and unaware of the situation and Hermione had agreed. She had very rarely told them everything that had happened at Hogwarts over the years. They had been notified last year after everything that had happened in the Department of Mysteries and Hermione had seen how much it had shaken them. It had taken her days to convince them that she was okay and that she was safe. And when they had finally started to believe her the Headmaster had shown up to tell them that Hermione needed to leave again. She didn't want them to worry anymore then they had too. So, she wrote to them saying that everything at the Burrow was wonderful and that she had really enjoyed Christmas and that she loved the presents that they had sent her. She explained that she had been sick but she was feeling better now, and that she was sorry that she hadn't written to them more over the holidays.

"You're lying to them." Harry's voice came.

Hermione's head snapped up and she turned to see Harry standing next to her looking over her letter. He and Ron had obviously finished their game. Looking at him, he seemed almost disappointed in her because of what she was writing. She hated to see that look in his eyes.

"They don't know about everything that happened, Harry." Hermione said quietly. "I don't want to worry them."

"But their your parents." Harry said.

"If I told them everything that happened over the last five years, they would have never let me go back to Hogwarts." Hermione told him. "Trust me, its better this way. Dumbledore agrees."

"Hermione"

"Harry, this isn't your decision to make." Hermione said. "I understand what you're saying and maybe one day I will tell them everything that has happened, but not today. They deserve to have a life without constant worry. We all do. But in this case, they can actually have it."

"I guess I understand." Harry said nodding his head. He knew where she was coming from. He had told many people that he was fine, when he wasn't because he didn't want them to worry. He had told Hermione that nothing was wrong because he knew what the truth would do to her. But lying to her parents, not telling them about something so horrible that had happened to their own daughter, it seemed wrong to him. No matter what the reason.

Signing her name to her parents' letter, Hermione set it to the side and picked up another piece of stationary. It had been a Christmas gift from Viktor; she thought that it might have been a hint to write more to him. They had grown closer over the summer, spending so much time together because she hadn't been able to leave the house. But with school and George and her friends, she hadn't had much time to write to him. She also knew that George didn't like her talking about him or to him, so she let the letters become less frequent. Now she wouldn't have that problem. It was nice though, that as she wrote to him she didn't have to lie. She didn't tell him everything that had happened; she barely even mentioned the attack. But she did tell him that she didn't quite feel like herself anymore, that she felt different somehow. She didn't have to protect him. She didn't have to prove to him how strong she could be. It was somehow easier to allow Viktor, who was hundreds of miles away playing quidditch, who had his own problems that did not involve Voldemort, to worry about her.

--

As the holiday continued, Hermione spent more and more time with Harry and Ron and the rest of the family. Mrs. Weasley had started asking her to help with dinner again, she spent all day with Harry and Ron and she was spending more time with the entire family.

Harry seemed genuinely happy to be doing things with her and Hermione forced herself to be happy for him. And when she was around him, she was happy. The nightmares still came, the fears were still there, as were the memories, but when she was with Harry she could remember the comfort she felt in his arms as she had cried, she remembered him telling her that he was there for her. She wasn't better, but in certain ways she was happier.

She still flinched whenever someone surprised her, when they touched her. She still felt nervous whenever she went outside or when she thought there were too many people in one room. But with Harry and Ron, things seemed different. They could make her smile real smiles. They made her laugh real laughs. She hadn't realized how much she had missed her friends, how much she depended on them. And depending on someone that much, feeling that way, it scared her but it also comforted her.

She had felt very alone in Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's bedroom. But when Harry had come in and just stayed with her, she hadn't felt alone. And now, as she spent so much time with Harry and Ron, the loneliness that always settled in at night wasn't so strong.

--

Harry had agreed to play exploding snap with Ron, but his head wasn't really in it. His thoughts kept straying to Hermione. He was glad that she was out of her room and that she had finally overcome whatever it was that kept her in there. She was getting better, he could tell. She seemed happier and she seemed to enjoy spending time with them again. She still read too much and still pestered them about completing their schoolwork before the break was over. And when it was just him and Ron, she seemed to let her guard down. She was almost the same Hermione.

But he had noticed that her smile was different and she still wasn't comfortable with anyone touching her unexpectedly. The other day he had poked his head into her room without knocking and she flinched so violently that she had run into her night stand. He could tell that she was pushing herself forward, but it seemed like for every step she took she was nowhere near where she wanted to be.

"Harry? Ron?" Remus said knocking on the door to their room, causing both boys to look up at him. "Is it okay if we talk to you?"

Harry saw Hermione peek into the room behind Remus. At least this explained where Hermione had wandered off too.

"'course Remus." Harry said glad to have a reason to stop the game.

Remus and Hermione came into the room, sitting down on the bed across from Harry and Ron. Hermione looked at Remus hoping he'd take the hint to start the conversation. He smiled encouragingly at her, before looking back at the boys.

"I wanted to talk to you about when you get back to Hogwarts." He told them. "I spoke with Hermione before and she agrees with the Order's decision."

"The Order's decision about what?" Ron asked.

"When we get back to school, they don't want us to talk about what happened." Hermione explained. "About the attack."

"Voldemort will want to know about how your reactions to the attack, about how well everyone is handling it." Remus said, "The Order believes that it's best to give him as few clues as possible. We know that the attack was very hard on everyone, it frightened all of us, myself included. We know that you aren't going to be able to just forget it, but we ask that you just try not to talk about it where others can hear. Even around people you trust."

"I already agreed." Hermione said quietly. "I don't want them or anyone else to know how much they scared me."

"I won't say anything." Ron quickly agreed. Hermione smiled gratefully at him and he couldn't help but smile back. He was just happy to be getting Hermione back, right now he do just about anything for her.

Harry took a little longer to answer but agreed as well. Sometimes it felt like the adults were trying to pretend that the attack hadn't happened. As though if they all pretended hard enough, then maybe it really wouldn't have happened. As much as Harry wished that it never happened, as terrible as it was to think about, Harry knew that it had happened. And sometimes he felt like the only one willing to acknowledge it. Just like sometimes he felt like him and Ron were the only ones that could tell the difference between how Hermione was now and who she used to be.

"More than likely, some of the Slytherins will make some unkind comments. Especially Draco Malfoy, since we know that his father was involved." Remus continued. Harry couldn't help but notice Hermione stiffen at the mention of Malfoy's name. He knew that dealing with Malfoy would be even harder for her now.

"They will more than likely try to provoke you." Remus said. "I know it will be difficult for all of you but we need you to be prepared for it and try your best to ignore it."

"Why do we have to ignore it?" Harry asked. "How do we know that they won't just tell everyone what happened themselves?

"Yeah, maybe a good hex or two will convince them to keep their mouths shut." Ron said.

"I can deal with the Slytherins knowing." Hermione said, "I don't like it but I can deal with because I know I don't have a choice. But I don't want the whole school to know. I don't want to have to deal with that too."

Harry could see how important this was to Hermione; he could hear it in her voice. After everything that had happened, he wanted her to know that he was on her side. He wanted her to know that whatever she needed, he would give her. "Alright" Harry said, "I can't promise not to react if Malfoy says something horrible, sometimes I hex before I think, but I promise to try not to."

"Same here." Ron agreed.

Hermione smiled at the two boys, glad that they had agreed. It made her feel better about going back to Hogwarts. It made her feel like there was a chance of everything going back to normal when the returned to Hogwarts. She knew things were far from perfect, but she was glad that her friends were willing to do this for her. It was one thing that she wouldn't have to worry about.

--

"You almost ready?" Hermione asked coming into Ron's room. Harry was still shoving last minute items into his trunk and Ron was running around downstairs collecting things as well.

"Almost." Harry said shoving the sweater Mrs. Weasley had knitted him for Christmas into the trunk. He always forgot to leave room for presents when he packed his trunk before the Christmas holiday. There never seemed to be enough room.

"I can help you shrink some things if you need me to." Hermione said smiling at him.

"I think I got it." Harry said pushing down on all his clothes. Good thing he didn't have anything breakable in there. "You packed already?" he asked her.

"I was packed last night." Hermione told him sitting down on Ron's bed.

"I always mean to do that but Ron and I always get distracted." Harry said, shaking his head.

"You mean you and Ron always find better things to do." Hermione said smiling at him. Harry shrugged his shoulders, a smile tugging at his lips as well, as he continued to pack.

"So, are you happy to be going back to Hogwarts?" she asked him.

"Well, I'm not exactly looking forward to the loads of homework there always seems to be, but yeah I guess I am." He told her, shoving his last present into his trunk. "What about you?"

"Well I'm certainly looking forward to not being stared at all the time." Hermione said rolling her eyes.

"Hermione…"

"Don't worry I'm not talking about you Harry. Or surprisingly Ron either." She said, "I just…I don't know, sometimes I feel like Mrs. Weasley is watching my every move. Tonks too, and I know that that's what she's here for, Tonks I mean, but it's just disconcerting. You know what I'm saying, right?"

"Trust me, Hermione, if anyone knows what it's like to have people watching you all the time, it's me." Harry said, sitting down beside her.

"I'm glad you get it." Hermione said. "I've been feeling kind of guilty about finding their concern annoying. I know that they mean well, I just…sometimes it would be nice to be able to forget. And knowing why everyone is staring at me, makes it really hard to be able to….I'm sorry, I probably sound ridiculous." Hermione said shaking her head. She hadn't meant to tell him all that.

"No, you just sound normal." Harry told her. "There's nothing wrong with being normal."

Hermione smiled at him and stood up as Ron entered the room, his arms full of freshly washed clothes. She was glad that Harry didn't think she was being ridiculous, it was nice to know that she wasn't horrible for feeling the way she did. Because she loved Mrs. Weasley, she loved Tonks, and she was happy that they cared enough about her to make sure that she was okay. It was nice though, to know that her feelings were normal, or as close to normal as any of them could get.

But then, she wasn't supposed to be normal. She was supposed to be better now. She was supposed to be happy and not notice things like Mrs. Weasley staring at her with concern. For Harry's sake. For everyone's peace of mind but own. She wished that it was easier to be happy, that you could truly force yourself to be happy, but you couldn't. So she'd just have to keep faking it.

"I'll see you guys downstairs." Hermione told them. "Don't take too long, Ronald, you know how your mum gets."

"Yeah, I do." Ron said dropping his clothes into his trunk. He didn't even try to fold them. "I just have to shove all my stuff in."

Hermione shook her head at him before turning to leave. She was half the way down the hall when she heard his swear. "Bugger, I should have had her shrink them for me before she left." Harry's laughter followed shortly after.

--

As Hermione crossed through the barrier she was suddenly aware of everything around her. It was as though she could hear everyone talking, as though every time someone moved closer to her she could feel them. She felt as though she was surrounded, like there were people closing in on her. It took everything in her power not to run away screaming.

Everywhere she looked she saw malicious glints in people eyes. She saw opportunities for people to get to her, to grab her before anyone else realized what was happening. She saw people's wands and all she could think of was the horrible spells that they could cast if they wanted to. She felt panicked and she knew that she was being unreasonable. She knew that she was not alone. She knew that the Order was here to protect them. But somehow that wasn't comforting. The air was too warm, her pulse was racing and she could practically hear her heart thumping much too fast. And no matter what she told herself, she couldn't calm herself down.

As they neared the train, Hermione moved herself closer to Harry, her hand gripping her wand tightly, preparing herself for anything that might happen.

"I feel like the holiday went by much too fast." Mrs. Weasley said as she hugged Ginny closely.

"I wish that you all could stay longer." She said releasing Ginny and pulling Hermione into a hug. Hermione hated it. She hated it whenever someone touched her since the attack. Every time someone put a hand on her shoulder, she felt the men who had grabbed her. Every time people came into a room unexpectedly she saw cloaked figures coming out from forest. Every time someone got too close, she could hear Lucius Malfoy whispering in her ear, his words echoing in her mind. And she hated it. She hated them for what they did to her, for what they took from her, for making her feel this way. And she hated herself for being so weak, for letting them get to her.

Mrs. Weasley released Hermione from her hug, but moved her arms up to her shoulders, holding her in place. Hermione wanted desperately to push her hands away, but she held still, smiling as much as she could at the woman.

"I just wanted to apologize again, Hermione." Mrs. Weasley told her. "I wasn't very kind to you when you first got to the Burrow. I was just upset for my son, but I know that it wasn't place and I'm sorry."

"Mrs. Weasley, I already told you that it was okay." Hermione said taking a step backwards so that she had to drop her arms. She hoped that no one noticed what she was doing. "You don't need to apologize again." She smiled at her again, before hurrying on to the train and into the first empty compartment she could find.

It was much quieter on the train but she could still hear the other students outside on the platform, laughing and saying goodbye to their families. She wished that they would all just get on the train so that they could leave. She would feel better once they were on their way. At least she hoped.

--

Harry and Ron found her in the compartment a few minutes later. Ron shoved his things into the compartment overhead, before taking the seat across from her. Harry put his things overhead next, brushing his legs up against Hermione's knees. She couldn't help but notice when it was him, it didn't seem to bother her so much. She didn't feel the need to pull away like she had with Mrs. Weasley, like she did with everyone.

"You okay?" Harry asked looking down at her.

"I'm fine." She said smiling at him. While the words were a lie, the smile was genuine. It was nice to not be scared of someone's touch for once.

"Just checking." He said taking the seat next to her.

The train started moving a few minutes later and Hermione watched out the window as the platform slowly started to pass them by. She could see Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's red hair shining brightly as they waved goodbye to them. She could see other parents waving to their children as well and it made her miss her own parents. She couldn't wait until she got to see them again.

The train began to pick up speed and Hermione looked away before she began to get dizzy. From the corner of her eye there was a flash of bright blonde hair and Hermione whipped back around. The train was moving too fast and she couldn't see who the hair belonged to but she knew. She knew who it belonged to. There were only two people with that shade of hair, and one of them was on this train right now, so it had to be him. There was nobody else it could be. She felt her heart began to race again, as her head spun. How could he have been there? He was an escaped convict, he shouldn't be allowed out anywhere in public let alone at the platform where children were. He couldn't have been there. It wasn't possible.

She looked over at Harry and Ron, but they didn't seem to notice what had happened. They were talking about what they should get off the trolley when it came around, as if everything was normal. And for them it was.

"I-I'm going to, I'm going to go use the bathroom." Hermione said standing up. She knew that her voice sounded shaky and she prayed that neither of them chose this time to become attentive to what she was feeling.

"Okay, we'll make sure no one takes your seat." Harry said.

"Yeah, Neville and Luna are supposed to come sit in here when Luna's done with her prefect rounds." Ron said.

"Okay." Hermione said nodding her head. "I'll be back in a couple of minutes." She hurried out of the compartment, quickly closing the door behind her.

There were already people out in the halls, going from one compartment to another. Girls giggled as they passed her and she had to push herself up against the wall to avoid bumping into them. She took a deep breath before continuing on towards the bathrooms. There were more people in this part of the hallway and she couldn't help but feel like they were staring at her, as though they knew what had happened, as though they knew what the glamour charm covered on her hip. Logically she knew that it wasn't true, that there was no reason they would know, that they didn't know, but she could feel their eyes on her and she picked up her pace to get to the bathroom.

Hermione entered the small room quickly locking the door and letting her head rest against it. She was breathing rapidly now and she could almost feel the walls closing in around her. She was so scared and it terrified her even more because she didn't know why she was so scared. This was a safe place. They couldn't reach her here.

She was supposed to be stronger than this. She wasn't supposed to let this get to her. She wasn't supposed to be this scared. A sob broke free from her mouth and like a dam breaking the tears started pouring down her face.

It hurt. It hurt so bad. She could still see them, everywhere she turned she could see their silver mask, she could hear their taunts, she could feel them pulling at her. She could see him, coldness in his eyes as he dug his wand into her hip. And she wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. She wanted to tell someone how horrible it hurt inside. She wanted someone to tell her that everything was going to be okay. She wanted someone to hold her, to comfort her and tell her that no one was going to hurt her ever again. But she couldn't. She had promised Dumbledore. She had promised herself. And she hated him for making her promise, she hated herself for agreeing to it and for keeping up this charade. She hated herself for lying to Harry; she hated herself a little bit more every time she told him she was fine when really she wasn't.

If there was one person to understand how she was feeling, it was him. Harry had gone through horrible things in his life and he had come out stronger for it. He cared about everyone and he tried to protect everyone. He would understand how she felt. And it was his understanding that kept her from telling him. He would understand how she felt, but he would also feel guilty because of it. He would blame himself for her pain; he would blame himself for her broken state instead of the people who really deserved it. His guilt would drive him to do something dangerous. Telling him everything, showing him what she felt, would only hurt him. And he was hurting enough since Sirius death. He blamed himself enough because of that. She would not add to his guilt. She would not hurt him. She would be strong, even if it killed her.

She would get over this. Eventually, she would begin to forget. Soon she would be able to hug Mrs. Weasley and take comfort in it. Soon she would be able to say that she was fine and mean it. She just needed more time to fully accept everything that had happened, time to move on. They say that time heals all wounds; she just needed to give it time. It would get better. It had to get better. She couldn't take it if it got worse.

Pushing herself off the door, Hermione walked to the sink. She could see her reflection in the mirror, she looked terrible. If she went back to the compartment looking like this even Harry and Ron would be able to tell that something was wrong. Splashing the cold water on her face, Hermione felt herself beginning to calm down slightly. Everything was going to be fine she chanted in her head, everything was going to be fine.

She splashed another handful of water on her face but it didn't seem to help. She might be able to convince Ron that she was fine if she avoided direct eye-contact or he had a large quantity of food to distract him, but he would be the only one. And she wasn't convinced that she could really fool him.

A knock came from the door and Hermione jumped, panicking for a moment. "I'll—I'll be out in a minute." Hermione called. It came out shaky and Hermione prayed that it was a first year out there and not someone like Lavender or Parvati. She didn't need a rumor going around that she had taken to falling apart in bathrooms, no matter how true it might be.

"It's Ginny!" The familiar voice came. "Harry and Ron told me that you were in here. I just want to talk if that's alright."

"Uhh…yes, sure that's fine." Hermione said surprised, "I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay." Ginny called quietly through the door.

Trying quickly to compose herself, Hermione grabbed a paper towel drying off her face. Even dry it still looked like she had been sobbing horribly, her eyes puffy, her nose terribly red. Ginny would know she had been crying.

A feeling of guilt gnawing at her, Hermione raised her wand silently casting a glamour charm. She normally didn't like to use the charm on her face, it made her feel vain and phony, but drastic times called for drastic measures. Forcing a small but realistic smile on her face she opened the door and stepped outside. There were a lot less people in the hallway now and she would have sighed in relief if she didn't think Ginny would question her about it.

"Hi." Ginny said quietly.

"Hi." Hermione said. "Where is everyone?"

"McGonagall came by and told everyone to get back to their compartments." Ginny explained. "I only got to stay because I was waiting for you to be done in the bathroom. Obviously she thought that I was waiting for my turn and not you, but I got to stay either way."

Hermione nodded her head, observing the younger girl. She could tell that she was nervous. They hadn't spoken much at the Burrow. Even after the attack, Hermione had slept in her room with Tonks and she spent most of her time with the boys. She had noticed Ginny watching her, they had been around each other, but they hadn't really talked.

"Hermione…"

"It's okay Ginny; you don't have to explain anything." Hermione told her.

"But I do, Hermione, I do." Ginny said shaking her head. "I am so sorry. I was horrible to you. I was mean and catty and everything that we have ever complained about Lavender and Parvati being, but worse because I'm supposed to be your friend and I turned on you. I just…I saw how upset George was and I couldn't fix it. I couldn't comfort him by saying that he could do better because he can't. You're great for him. And I just didn't understand why you did it. You seemed so happy together."

"We were happy together." Hermione said quietly.

Ginny looked at her sadly, before continuing. "I found out from Lavender and Parvati and I was just so upset that you weren't the one who told me. That George hadn't told me. And I took that all out on you, and I am so sorry. I feel like such a horrible person."

"Ginny you aren't a horrible person." Hermione told her. "Trust me, if someone did to Harry or Ron what I did to George…After everything that happened, I didn't like myself much either. I can't blame you for feeling like you did."

"But it was my fault." Ginny said shaking her head. There were tears in her eyes, and Hermione's stomach clinched at the sight. There had been too much crying among her friends already. "You wouldn't have gone outside with Ron if I hadn't been so horrible to you. Ron and you both could have…I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if something worse had happened, if one of you hadn't come back."

"Ginny you were mean, I'm not going to lie you were. You were angry and confused and you never stopped to talk to me about what happened and you should of. But Ginny, you are not responsible for what happened to us. We were attacked by monsters, horrible people who are more than just mean but actually evil, people who would have found a way to get to me no matter what you or anyone else did. At least this way, more people weren't hurt. Nobody blames you." Hermione said patting her friend on her shoulder.

"Your way too nice of a person, Hermione." Ginny said wiping at her eyes. "I deserve to be called a bitch and put in my place and here are comforting me. I don't deserve it."

"Everyone deserves to be comforted, Ginny," Hermione told her, "People who do things they regret, people who lie and hide things….Everyone."

--

Ginny came back with Hermione to their compartment and spent the rest of the trip with them. Harry and Ron both seemed surprised to see her but they didn't say anything since Neville and Luna were in the compartment with them. They knew that Ginny had been trying to find a way to apologize to Hermione for a while now, but they were glad to see that the two were finally speaking again.

The ride passed surprisingly fast for Harry. It seemed as though barely any time had passed since they got onto the train when they were coming off the train and climbing into the carriages. He was still the only one among the three of them who could see the threstals and after everything that had happened over the holidays, he didn't think that he had ever been happier about that.

"Isn't Ginny riding with us?" Ron asked as he settled in across from Hermione.

"She's riding with Dean." Hermione told him, "She wanted to explain why she hadn't sat with him on the train like she had planned."

"Oh." Ron said quietly, letting the subject drop.

The carriage began to move forward and the three of them lapsed into silence for the rest of the journey. Harry was excited to being go back to Hogwarts, but he couldn't help but feeling like something would change once they entered the Great Hall. Things would go back to how they were, just weeks ago, but everything would be different. He would be so much more aware of the danger now. It wouldn't just be the newspaper articles describing Death Eater attacks that upset him; it would be the look in the student's eyes as they read them. It wouldn't just be Malfoy mouthing off to him it would be a reminder of what his father had done, a reminder of how people like him hurt others without the slightest thought. He didn't know if he was ready for that yet.

The carriage pulled to a stop and Ron hopped out first, Harry following after him and Hermione coming out last. She seemed to be relieved to be back at Hogwarts, she looked as though she had come home. Harry had felt like that before. He hoped being back at Hogwarts would help her.

As they entered the Entrance Hall, Harry noticed Professor McGonagall standing off to the side. When she spotted the three of them she quickly waved them over.

"Hello professor" Hermione said quietly, "I hope you had a pleasant holiday."

"I did, Miss Granger." Professor McGonagall said looking her over. Harry could see that she wanted to tell her something, probably something sympathetic or encouraging about how well she looked, but she stopped herself. "I hope you all enjoyed the holiday as well."

"Of course, professor, we all had a splendid time." Hermione told her. Harry forced himself to nod in agreement.

"That's good to hear." She said in a clipped tone. "Professor Dumbledore would like to speak with the three of you. Please follow me." She turned briskly and began climbing the stairs. Hermione quickly followed her, Harry and Ron lagging behind. Harry wasn't sure why the Headmaster wanted to see them and he wasn't sure if he should be hopeful or fearful. More than likely Dumbledore just wanted to see how they were doing, like he had when he had talked to him at the Burrow. But Harry couldn't help but remember other times that he had been in the Headmaster's office when he had been called there for much more significant reasons.

Professor Snape and Remus were in the room along with Dumbledore when they arrived and the presence of so many teachers did nothing to make any of them feel better about the reasons they were there. Dumbledore quickly ushered them into the three remaining seats, offering them each a lemon drop to which everyone refused.

"I hope that you don't mind that I asked you here." The Headmaster said sitting down beside his desk. "I just wanted to make sure that you're all doing okay. Mr. Weasley your still feeling alright, correct? I know last time I spoke with you, you were still having nightmares."

Ron blushed deeply, glancing around at Harry and Hermione before his eyes shifted to Professor Snape. Hermione smiled encouragingly at him, making it easier for him to answer.

"I'm fine, professor." He said. "They've pretty much stopped."

"That's good to hear." Dumbledore said.

Harry was surprised to hear Dumbledore mention the nightmares. Ron hadn't even shared them with him, he didn't think Ron would have told Dumbledore about them. But then Dumbledore always did have a way of knowing everything.

"And you Mr. Potter is there anything that you'd like to share?" He asked.

"No, professor." Harry said shaking his head. "Nothing that I haven't already told you." And even if he had had something to say, he wouldn't tell him now. He would have waited until they were alone or at least Professor Snape had left the room.

"And Miss Granger, how about you? I do hope that you're feeling better than the last time that I spoke with you." Dumbledore said. His eyes twinkled as he looked directly at her.

"Much better." Hermione said evenly. She knew it was the answer he was looking for.

"And the…mark?" He asked, "Still no problems, I assume."

"No, no problems." Hermione said quickly. She didn't like talking about it. Talking about it made it real, it reminded her that despite the fact that she couldn't see it, that no one could, it was still there.

"Professor Dumbledore, why do you think….Why do you think that they did it?" Harry asked unable to stop himself. It had been something that had been bothering him. The Dark Mark was given to people loyal to Voldemort's cause, it was given to people who he felt worthy enough to serve him. Hermione was a Muggleborn witch who defied everything that he believed in. While he knew that the mark had scared Hermione, that she hated it terribly, it didn't seem enough to make Voldemort want to mark her as equal to men who were so different from her.

"It is hard for all of us to understand what goes through the minds of those who do evil, Harry." He said. "I'm afraid that I am at as much of a loss as you are."

Harry nodded his head, but felt frustrated. He had hoped that Dumbledore would have an answer. But now he felt even more confused.

"I am glad to see how well you are all doing." He continued. "Mr. Weasley you are excused to return downstairs for dinner. Mr. Potter I ask that you please wait outside for a moment, we would like to speak to Miss Granger alone. When she is done, you can come back in."

"Alright, professor." Harry said nodding his head. He and Ron stood up, each shooting Hermione sympathetic looks before leaving the room. Hermione wished that she could go with them.

"Miss Granger, Professor Snape has something for you." Dumbledore said nodding to him.

Professor Snape stood, taking a small box from his robe pocket. He handed it to Hermione and she opened it puzzled. Inside was a silver bracelet, rather simple just a silver band. She looked up at Professor Snape confused, glancing around at the other people in the room.

"Umm…thank you?" Hermione said, looking nervously at Professor Snape. This was all a little too strange for her liking.

"This is an enchanted bracelet." Professor Snape said scowling at her. "It will allow us to know where you are and if you are safe."

"It works much like Mrs. Weasley's clock." Remus explained quietly. "It will tell us if you're in peril and allow us to apparate to you."

"You are to wear it at all times." Professor Snape told her.

"I understand." Hermione said nodding. She pushed up her right sleeve and saw the bracelet that George had gotten her for her birthday. She hadn't taken it off since George had given it to her; even after they had broken up she hadn't been able to bring herself to. But there really wasn't any reason to keep wearing it, it would only remind her of what she couldn't have, of what she had pushed away. She unclasped the bracelet, before putting it into the pocket of her robe. Her wrist felt bare without it.

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she lifted the silver band out of the box. It fit her wrist perfectly, almost eerily so but she imagined that magic was behind it. She snapped the bracelet closed and she watched fascinated as runes began to appear. She recognized the symbol for protection and one that she thought meant location before they disappeared. Looking closer at the bracelet Hermione realized that the clasp had disappeared along with them, making it impossible for her to take it off even if she wanted too.

"It's just a precaution Hermione." Remus said, noticing her look. He knew that this must be hard for her, especially with the presence of three of her professors and the Headmaster.

"I would also like to speak with you about something else, Miss Granger."

Dumbledore said.

"Yes Headmaster?" Hermione said rubbing her wrist. It would be a while before she got used wearing this bracelet instead of her old one. She hoped that no one asked about it, she wouldn't exactly be able to tell them that the Headmaster or Professor Snape had given it to her.

"You will be continuing your teacher aid duties of course, along with your occlumency lessons, and you will now start lessons with Professor Lupin." He explained.

"Lessons? What kind of lessons?" Hermione asked.

"Self-defense lessons," Remus told her. "I'll be teaching you how to duel and some more advanced defensive spells then we teach in the school curriculum."

"We feel its best that you know how to defend yourself in case of another attack." Professor Dumbledore said.

"Another attack?" Hermione repeated. This just wasn't how she imagined this meeting going. She thought that they were going to try to reassure her of how things would start getting better now, that she would be protected here at Hogwarts and that they wouldn't let anyone harm her. She had expected to believe them, she hadn't expected for them to really make her better, but she hadn't expected this either. She hadn't expected to leave this room more uneasy then when she entered it.

"It's just a precaution Hermione," Remus told her, "Nothing to worry yourself over.

"I know…I-I'm just trying to get over the last attack, I really don't want to think about another one." She said quietly.

"We realize this is a lot to take in." Professor Dumbledore said.

"I'm fine." She said forcing a smile at the group. "I'm just umm… I just am kind of tired. It was a long train ride. Are Harry and Ron going to start taking classes too?"

"Not at this time." Dumbledore told her.

"Oh." Hermione said softly. She didn't know what to think about that.

"I don't think we have anything else to discuss, Miss Granger." Dumbledore said. "Professor Lupin can walk you back to your common room if you'd like to get some rest."

"Thank you, professor." Hermione said before quickly getting up. She didn't want to stay in this office any longer then she had too.

"Severus, Minerva perhaps you should return to the Great Hall. Dinner should be starting any moment now." Dumbledore told the two teachers. "Please send Mr. Potter in on your way out."

Hermione passed Harry first, the teachers behind her. He sent her a questioning look and was about to say something when McGonagall interrupted him. "Mr. Potter, Dumbledore's expecting you in his office right away."

"Yes, professor." He said. He gave Hermione a nervous smile before walking past her and up the stairs she had just came down. She wondered what they were going to talk about. If they were in there setting up secret classes like they had done with her. Harry was in more danger then her, he was more important to the war because of the prophecy, so shouldn't he be the one learning self-defense? Shouldn't it be him with the bracelet telling everyone where he was?

"Are you sure you're okay?" Remus asked, coming up beside her.

"I'm fine Remus. I mean Professor Lupin." She corrected herself. The halls were empty as all of the students were in the Great Hall at dinner, but she thought it was still better that she call him by his title. She had learned that the hard way.

"I think its okay to call me Remus when no one else is around." He told her with a smile. "And I just wanted to make sure your okay." He continued. "It really is a lot to take in."

"Being friends with Harry helps" she said with a small smile, "You get used to things like this happening. You kind of have too."

"Still…"

"I'm fine, Remus. I promise not start hiding in my room again." She told him.

"That's not what I meant Hermione." He said looking at her concerned.

"I know." She said as they reached the portrait hole. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow. I feel bad that I won't get to help you anymore."

"I don't mind." Remus told her with a smile. "It'll be fun getting to teach a bit more advanced material."

She tried to force herself to smile back at him, but it was harder than normal. Normally she would have been jumping at the chance to take advance classes in any of her subjects. She would have loved it. But in this context, it was just so much more frightening. She was trying so hard to convince herself that somehow everything was going to be okay. And it seemed like everyone else was trying to convince her otherwise.

"I'll see you then." She said before muttering the password and hurrying inside the common room. It was blissfully empty and she let the smile she was wearing drop. Not even an hour back at Hogwarts and everything seemed different now.

--

"You missed dinner last night." Harry said as Hermione sat down across from him in the Great Hall. "And you weren't in the common-room after."

"I was just tired." Hermione said placing a piece of toast and some eggs on her plate. "I decided to go to bed early."

"Doesn't look like you got much sleep at all." Ginny said sitting down next to Harry.

"Yeah, I had odd dreams last night, they kept waking me up. Probably shouldn't go to bed without dinner anymore." She said taking a large bite of her toast as if to prove her point.

Odd had been a mild word for her dream. Terrifyingly realistic might be more accurate. She had dreamed that she was back on the Hogwarts Express. She had been going back to her compartment, this time alone, and when she opened the door someone came up behind her and pushed her inside. She cried out at what she had seen. They were dead, all of them dead. But their eyes were still open, as though they were looking her pleading for her to help them, to save them.

The man grabbed her, spinning her around to face him. He was wearing one of those horrible silver masks. His voice came out garbled and she couldn't recognize it, but she understood him. "Look what you made me do." He told her. "Look what you made me do."

She had woken up after that. And while she had only been asleep for a few hours she had been very thankful to be awake. She did not want to see where that dream led.

Suddenly she didn't feel very hungry anymore. Hermione forced herself to finish her piece of toast, but then shoved her plate away. She didn't think she could stomach anything more than that.

"Done already?" Harry asked looking at her strangely.

"I just remembered that I wanted to stop by the library before class." She told him. "I wanted to look something up."

"Do you want some company?" Ginny asked.

"No it's fine. Go spend time with Dean, it'll probably be more fun for you." Hermione told her.

"Ughh, don't encourage her Hermione." Ron said rolling his eyes. "She spent all of dinner with him last night. And way too much time with him in the common room after."

"Ron, don't make me hit you." Ginny threatened. Ron rolled his eyes at her, but Hermione noticed him shy away from her a bit more.

"I'll see you guys later." Hermione told them. She grabbed her bag, and hurried out of the Great Hall.

The halls were already packed with students and Hermione did her best to get through them without touching anyone but it was impossible and excruciating. Every little bump felt so much worse then what it was. Every raised voice seemed to be saying something terrible. By the time she was finally able to get away from the crowd, she felt totally disoriented. She hoped terribly that these feelings would go away soon, because she didn't know how she was going to cope if she felt like this every time she had to walk to class.

She knew that the crowd she had just had to pass through was because of the last minute rush there was always to get to breakfast, that it wouldn't be like that every time. But now that they were back at Hogwarts, there would always be people there. She would have to get used it; she didn't have a choice anymore. She couldn't hide up in her room with Harry and Ron, she wouldn't always be able to move to a place where less people were. Somehow she was going to have to deal with this, like it or not.

Making her way further down the hallway, Hermione came to a stop in front of the Transfiguration classroom. It was still another twenty minutes to class but she hadn't really wanted to go to the library anyway, it had just been an excuse to leave the Great Hall.

Dropping her backpack to the ground, Hermione took a seat next to it. She pulled out her Defense book to reread the chapter for today's lesson. A few minutes later she heard footsteps echoing down the hallway, coming towards her. She tried to focus on her reading, but the sound was too distracting. All she could think about was who the footsteps could belong too and whether they were friend or foe.

"Miss Granger."

Hermione jumped, startled by the sudden closeness of the voice. She glanced up to see Professor McGonagall standing in front of her.

"Hello Professor." Hermione said quickly standing up. She felt foolish seeing her head of house standing in front of her. Hogwarts was safe; she didn't know why she kept forgetting that.

"I'm sorry to have startled you." Professor McGonagall told her.

"No, I was just distracted. I heard someone coming I just didn't realize you were so close." Hermione explained hugging her book to her chest.

"You're here early, Miss Granger." Professor McGonagall said.

"I finished breakfast early and the Great Hall was a little…loud." Hermione said. "I just thought I'd come early and get some reading done."

"Sensible decision." Professor McGonagall said. "Why don't you come inside, you can read in the classroom and not have to sit on the cold floor."

"Thank you, professor." Hermione said grabbing her bag off the floor. She followed her McGonagall into the room, taking her normal seat close to the front of the room. Putting her bag on the floor, she pulled out her transfiguration book and a piece of parchment to take notes. She felt odd reading her Defense book with Professor McGonagall right there.

"I'm actually glad that you're here Miss Granger." Professor McGonagall said, coming around to the front of her desk. "I was hoping to get a chance to speak to you and now I won't have to wait until Thursday when you have your teacher's aid duties with me."

"What did you want to speak to me about?" Hermione asked.

"I just wanted to talk to you, make sure that you're doing okay." She explained.

"I already told the Headmaster that I was fine." Hermione said.

"I know, but Professor Dumbledore is very good at getting people to tell him the answers he wants to hear." Professor McGonagall said. "I just want you to know that as you're Head of House, as someone who knows about everything that's been going on I am here if you need to talk about everything that has happened."

"Thank you, professor that's nice to know." Hermione told her.

"Is there anything that you'd like to speak about now?" She asked.

Hermione's mind flashed to last night's dream, to all the dreams that she had been having. She thought of her reaction on the train, and thinking that she saw Malfoy though she knew that she couldn't have. She thought of walking in the hallway and feeling terrified. She thought of all the nights she had spent staring at the ceiling too afraid fall asleep. She wished that Professor McGonagall had some sort of explanation for these things, that she would be able to tell her how to handle everything that was happening. She wished that she knew Professor McGonagall wouldn't tell Dumbledore everything she said.

"No, professor but thank you, I'll keep that in mind." Hermione told her. Her smile didn't quite meet her eyes and she wondered if she knew that. Part of her hoped she didn't, part of her prayed that she did.

Soon other early classmates began to arrive and after them those who were on time. Harry and Ron came in barely making it before the bell rang, hurrying into the seats on either side of her.

"You're late." Hermione pointed out.

"We're not late; we're not just as early as you." Harry said.

"Yeah, you were probably the first one here." Ron said.

Hermione just shrugged her shoulders before dipping her quill into her ink; Professor McGonagall was starting her lesson.

As Professor McGonagall lectured Hermione began to feel at ease again, losing herself in the lesson. As the day continued and Hermione moved on from Transfiguration to Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts, Hermione began to feel more like her old self again. Books and homework, those were things she understood. Every question had an answer. In the classroom there was right and there was wrong, nothing in between.

Whenever her mind began to wander, whenever she felt her mind going back to the forest, back to the train station, she pushed herself harder into her work, concentrated more intently on what her professors were saying. She absorbed herself in the lessons, letting everything else fall away. School was a welcome distraction and she didn't think that even she had ever been so happy for it to begin.

--

Hermione stood outside the closed Defense classroom door, willing herself to go inside. It was just Remus, he would not hurt her, but she was terrified to walk in there. She knew that learning how defend herself could only help things. As much as she wanted this war to just disappear, she knew that that wouldn't, that it couldn't, happen without a fight. And she wanted to be part of that fight. She wanted to stand up for what she believed in, she wanted to show the world that she was a strong capable witch who could defend herself. But she was scared and she had never been this scared before.

In the woods it had been personal; they had made it personal for her. They had made it real. Suddenly she didn't just want to defend herself, she needed to defend herself. And she hadn't. She hadn't been able to protect herself. She hadn't been able to help Ron. And she was afraid that no matter how much training she had, she would never be able to save herself.

Taking a deep breath, Hermione opened the door, knowing that she would be late otherwise.

"Hello Hermione." Remus said, looking up from his desk.

"Hello." Hermione said quietly. She heard the nervousness in her own voice and knew that Remus could tell that she was reluctant to start training.

"You seem worried Hermione." He told her, standing up and walking around his desk.

"Not worried," She said shaking her head. "I know that you wouldn't hurt me. I just…I don't know."

"The attack is still fresh in your mind, it normal for you still to be edgy whenever someone raises there wand towards you, no matter who they are." Remus said.

Hermione nodded, smiling briefly at him. At least he knew that she wasn't scared of him, just scared in general.

"That's what these lessons are for, Hermione." He told her, "These lessons will allow you to have more control if something like this ever happens again. Your powerful witch Hermione, you just need to find a way to use that power to your advantage."

"Remus…I know your trying to be supportive," Hermione told him, "But I don't feel very powerful."

"That's because you feel like they took something from you Hermione." He told her. "You feel like you lost something, but Hermione you didn't. You're still the same person you were. You're still the girl who's at the top of her class. You're still the girl who can do anything she sets her mind to."

"I don't feel like her anymore." Hermione said quietly. "I…When I was alone in the forest with them, I couldn't do anything. For all the spells I know, all the facts that I have spent years memorizing, I couldn't do _anything_. Before I even had the chance they had my wand and Ron was stupefied on the ground. And I tried to fight. I tried so hard, but they were always there to stop me." Hermione said pushing a tear away. She was so tired of crying.

"I'm trying to think positive." Hermione said looking up at him, "Really, I am but when you know that the only reason you aren't dead, is because they let you live it is not a comforting feeling."

"Hermione that's not true." Remus told her. "You are one of the strongest people I know. You fought for your life in those woods. You hit, you kicked–"

"And only ended up injured more because of it." Hermione finished, shaking her head.

"Hermione, you are here right now because you are strong." Remus told her, taking her hands in his own. "Just because you didn't save yourself this time, doesn't mean you're not capable of it."

Hermione nodded her head in understanding. She knew what he was saying was true and she was trying her hardest to believe it but there was still that nagging little voice in her head that left her feeling weak and powerless.

"I'll make sure that you're capable of it." Remus told her, smiling at her.

"Now," he said turning back to teacher mode. "I think you're going to be happy to hear that for tonight's lesson we won't be practicing anything. I just want to see where you are and how much of an understanding you have about defensive magic."

"Okay." Hermione said. He could see her physically relax at his words.

--

Hermione returned to the common room after curfew feeling drained. She and Remus had covered years of Defense class material, including subjects that were well pass sixth and seventh year level. He had been impressed with how much she knew but Hermione still felt unconfident. Defense against the Dark Arts had always been her worst subject, she was never able to master it as well as Harry did. She knew the spells but she froze up under pressure. And now it seemed as though there was even more pressure.

"You're back late." Harry said as Hermione sat down on the couch beside him.

"Yeah, I lost track of time." Hermione lied. "Remus was having me help him grade papers and when we were done he offered me tea and biscuits. I didn't realize what time it was until it was already after curfew."

"That was nice of him." Harry said.

"Yeah, I guess there are some advantages to this teacher's aid thing after all." Ron said.

Hermione rolled her eyes at him, but stayed quiet. If Ron only knew what they had really been doing, he wouldn't say it was an advantage.

"Biscuits actually sound good right now." Ron continued, "Harry feel like sneaking down to the kitchens?"

"I guess." Harry said, shrugging his shoulders pushing the papers in front of him away. "I'd rather be doing that then the Transfiguration essay McGonagall assigned anyways."

"What about you Hermione?" Ron asked, "Want to come too?"

"No, I'm not hungry." Hermione said. "Not all of us have appetites like you, Ron. I think I'll just head up to bed."

"You sure?" Harry asked. "We don't have to go to the kitchens if you want to do something else."

"No, you guys go." She told him. "Have fun."

"Great, I'll go grab the map and the cloak." Ron said. "Be right back, Harry."

"Are you sure, Hermione?" Harry asked once he was gone.

"Yeah, Harry I'm sure." She told him.

"It's just I know it has to be hard on you, adjusting to life at Hogwarts where nobody knows what happened and you have to pretend like nothing _did_ happen." He told her lowering his voice. "I just want to make sure that your okay. I know I'm not good at the talking thing and I tend not to say the right thing but I'm not horrible at listening if you want to talk."

"I appreciate it Harry, really I do." Hermione told him trying to ignore the knot in her stomach. "But I'm fine. I think being back at Hogwarts is making me feel better. I actually enjoy going to class, unlike some people."

Harry smiled at his friend, glad to see her joking around. "Good." Harry said. "That's all that matters."

"Got it." Ron said quietly, coming to stand in front of them. "You ready to go, Harry?"

"Yeah." Harry said standing up.

"Just make sure that you don't get caught." Hermione told them. "That last thing either of you needs is to get detention, though you would both deserve it."

"Hey!" Ron said.

"You're a prefect and you're breaking like ten rules, Ron." Hermione pointed out. "Out after curfew, going to the kitchens, walking in the corridors at night—"

"We get the point, Hermione." Ron said interrupting her.

"We'll see you later." Harry said dragging his friend away from her. No need to start a fight where everyone could hear it.

Hermione rolled her eyes at her friends, watching as they left out the portrait hole. Once they were gone she let her shoulders sag and sighed deeply. She felt so guilty lying to Harry. Every since the attack, and even before then, he had been so understanding. He was really looking out for her and she kept lying to him. She felt like a horrible person. She felt like a horrible best friend. If it had been Harry taking extra lessons, he would have told them, he would have told _her_. She knew that Dumbledore had never asked her to keep her lessons with Remus a secret, but she also knew that he didn't mention them in front of Harry and Ron for a reason as well. Harry wasn't supposed to know.

There was just so many things that she felt she couldn't tell him, that she knew she couldn't tell him, it would just have been nice to not have to lie to him about something.

--

She could hear it coming. In the darkness she could feel it behind her and no matter how hard she ran, no matter mattered how much she tried to get away, it just kept coming. Her breath was coming in pants but she didn't stop, she stumbled forward pushing herself harder. She had to get away. She had to get away from it.

Glancing behind her, Hermione saw nothing but darkness but she knew it was there and it was coming after her. She heard a growl and she hurried forward. Her foot snagged a tree root and she fell to the ground, her head connecting painfully with the bottom of the tree making everything go black for a moment. Dazed, she clutched at her head desperately wanting the pain to stop.

She heard something move but she couldn't see where it was. Everything was spinning and she couldn't tell up from down. But she knew she had to get up, that she had to get away. If it caught her then she was dead. If it caught her, there would be no end to it. Desperate, she crawled on the ground trying to put more ground between her and the beast. But she was too slow.

There was a crack and she looked up to see to yellow eyes barely three feet away from her. A whimper escaping her lips, Hermione pushed herself off the ground and tried to run the other direction but the werewolf was much too fast for her. The creature pounced, forcing Hermione to the ground, its huge claws cutting through her robes and into her skin.

Hermione cried out in pain, trying desperately to get away from the beast on top of her. The werewolf looked down at her, its yellow eyes glinting dangerously as bared its teeth at her. Hermione screamed, unable to stop herself. It was going to kill her, it was going to shred her to pieces and kill her.

And suddenly she was jerked forward and she was no longer staring into the angry eyes of a werewolf but familiar black eyes. She whimpered pitifully, as she frantically looked around trying to find where the werewolf had gone. All she could see were stone walls and torches, like in the dungeons. But she didn't understand. She couldn't be in Hogwarts, she had just been in the forbidden forest, there was no way she could have gotten back to the castle so fast. There was no way she could have gotten away from the werewolf at all.

"Miss Granger!" Her head snapped up at the angry tone and she found herself face to face with Professor Snape. "Miss Granger, what is going on?"

"I-I don't know." She stuttered. She didn't understand what was going on. She didn't know why she was there or how she had gotten there. And she still hurt, she hurt so bad, she could feel where the werewolf's claw had connected with her skin. It was real. She had been there. Tears were beginning to fall and she did not try to stop them. Her head ached from where she had banged it against the tree and she couldn't grasp what was happening.

"Calm yourself, Miss Granger." Professor Snape snapped, shaking her shoulders. He could feel her trembling in fear. "And tell me what is going on."

"I don't know, professor. I don't know." Hermione began to sob harder, losing all control of her emotions. She didn't understand. She just wanted to understand. She felt her legs give out beneath her and Professor Snape caught her under her arms to prevent her from falling. She looked up at him with wide eyes, surprised that he was there and that she could feel him. Surely he was just a figment of her imagination.

He pulled her up, quickly glancing around the hallway before putting his arm around her back as he began to lead her down the corridor to the nearest door.

Murmuring the password to his office, Professor Snape opened the door helping Hermione inside and to a seat. A moment later a potion vial was pressed into her hands. She jumped, startled by the sudden contact.

"It is a calming potion, it will help Miss Granger." Professor Snape told her.

Hermione lifted her trembling hand and brought the vial to her lips, downing the tasteless potion. Sitting the potion vial on the desk in front of her, Hermione took in the room around her. She had never been in here before, but she assumed that she was in his office in the dungeons. She just couldn't find a reasonable explanation to why she was there.

"Now, Miss Granger, would you care to explain yourself?" Professor Snape asked her.

"I was in the forbidden forest…I don't even know how I got there. I can't remember. I hit my head, maybe that's why I don't remember."

"You weren't in the forbidden forest Miss Granger. I found you in the castle in the corridors." Professor Snape said.

"No…I mean, I don't know how I got there. The last thing I remember I was in the forest on the ground a…a werewolf on top of me." Hermione said. She looked up to see Professor Snape eyeing her strangely.

"Miss Granger tonight is not a full moon." He said, nodding his head towards the other side of the room. Hermione followed the movement, and saw through the open window a crescent moon staring back at her.

"But…I saw it…I'm not making this up!" She said quickly standing up. She was right. She had seen it; she had felt it attack her. It was real. It had to be.

"Miss Granger, before the forbidden forest, before you were attacked, what is the last thing you remember?" He asked her. His voice was the gentlest she had ever heard it.

"I don't know…" Hermione said shaking her head. "I-I remember going to dinner and helping Professor McGonagall in her classroom. I came back to the common room—"

"And went to sleep?" He finished for her.

"I…I…"

"Look at what you are wearing Miss Granger," He said. She looked down and saw that she was in her nightgown. "Think about what happened, the impossibility of it all. What you saw were figments of a dream, nothing more."

Hermione felt the air rush out of her as she sank back into her chair. It had felt so real. She had felt the wind whipping her hair around, stinging her eyes. She had felt the dirt underneath her fingers as she had clawed at it, trying to get away from the werewolf. She could still feel where she had hit her head against the trunk of the tree, where the werewolf's claw had dug into her skin. But he was right. If that had really happened, then there would be blood, there would be tears in her clothes. It hadn't been real. It hadn't been real at all.

"But how…how did I get down here?" Her voice sounded small to her own ears.

"You must have been sleepwalking." Professor Snape told her. He had that look again, that look that made her think that he actually pitied her for everything that she had gone through. She hated that look; it confirmed just how terrible the situation was for her.

"I was alerted when I heard someone screaming." He said. "When I found you, you were stumbling down the corridor whimpering. We all should be glad that it was I who found you and not some Filch or a student, especially the students that would be in this area of the castle. "

She nodded her head absentmindedly. This had never happened before. She had never woken up any place other than her bed. How had she gotten out of her dormitory, out of the common room and down seven flights of stairs to get to the dungeons? How had no one seen her?

"Miss Granger. Miss Granger, I asked you a question!" Professor Snape's angry voice came.

"I-I'm sorry." Hermione said quickly. "What did you say?"

"I asked, if you took your dreamless sleep potion this evening." Professor Snape said.

"No." Hermione said quietly, bowing her head.

"And why not?" He asked, his voice taking its normal sharp tone.

"Because it stopped working." Hermione said.

"It stopped working?" He repeated.

"Yes, sir."

"Foolish girl!" he roared standing up. "And to think that for a few brief moments I considered you to be intelligent. What on earth made you think that keeping this to yourself was a good idea?"

Hermione couldn't help but shrink back in her chair as his voice echoed off the walls. She willed herself not to start crying again, but she could feel the tears welling up behind her eyes.

"When did it stop working Miss Granger?" Professor Snape asked. There was still an edge to his voice but it was much more controlled now.

"After the attack." Hermione said, still not looking up at him. "At first I just thought the memories were too fresh for even the potion to stop the nightmares. All the dreams were about the attack but lately, since I've returned to Hogwarts, they've been about other things as well."

"And you felt the need to keep this to yourself _because_?"

"I didn't think there was anything that could be done about it. I was going to tell you when we had our occlumency lesson." She said looking up at him. She hoped that he could see that she was telling the truth. "_Is_ there anything that can be done about it?" Hermione asked.

"I do not know, Miss Granger." He told her, "I will speak with the Headmaster in the morning and see what he has to say."

"Thank you, sir."

"Miss Granger, is this the first time that something like this has happened?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked looking up at him.

"You were sleep walking Miss Granger. Have your dreams caused any other physical manifestations that you've failed to mention?"

"No, professor." Hermione said. "Nothing like this has happened before."

"Good." Professor Snape said, "I will be back in a moment, you are not to go anywhere."

Hermione nodded her head in agreement and watched as he turned and went through the other door in the room. She saw a brief glimpse into a room covered with books before the door was quickly shut behind him. She realized that he must have gone to quarters, a severe reminder of where she was. He had been right when he said that it was a good thing that it was him that had found her and not someone else. Most of the teachers didn't know what had happened and the few that did still wouldn't have known what was going on. But even then, it would have been better for an unknowing teacher to find her and take her to the hospital wing or to Dumbledore instead of any of the students that would have been down in the dungeons. She could only imagine what would have happened if it had been Malfoy who had found her. Suddenly Professor Snape seemed almost welcoming.

The door opened again and Professor Snape came out quickly closing and locking the door behind him.

"Here" He said shoving a black traveling cloak into her hands. "It would be best if no one saw you wandering the halls in that." He said his lips sneering as he looked at her nightgown. Hermione felt heat rising to her cheeks and quickly fastened the cloak around her. She didn't want anyone to see her walking the halls in her nightgown either.

"I will take you to the hospital wing," He told her, "There are wards there that don't allow patients to wander off. You will be safe there if you start sleepwalking again."

"I don't need to go to the hospital wing." Hermione told him quietly, pulling the cloak tighter around her. "I won't go back to sleep."

"Miss Granger it is one in the morning," He told her, "You need to sleep. I will take you to the hospital wing."

"It's not that I don't want to sleep." Hermione said, "It's that I can't. I never can after I wake up from a dream."

"It's still best that you try." Professor Snape told her. She noticed that his voice had lost some of its forcefulness. "Follow me." He said sweeping out of the room. Hermione had to hurry to keep up with him.

--

Hours later found Hermione staring up at the hospital wing ceiling. She wished that Professor Snape had allowed her to go back to her dormitory. At least there she would have had her books and homework to give her something to do. Right now she could be working on her potion's essay or finishing her Arithmancy homework instead of counting the number of tiles that made up the hospital wing's ceiling.

This wasn't the first time that she had tried and failed to go to sleep after the nightmares. She always ended up like this, distressed and all too aware of the world around her while everyone else slept away. It made her feel very alone. It didn't help that there was no one else in the hospital wing and that she could hear nothing but silence. She hated silence almost as much as she hated noise, noise signified that she wasn't alone, silence only served as a reminder that she was.

Turning on her side Hermione looked into Madame Pomfrey's office, from where she was laying she could see her asleep in her chair. She felt guilty having caused her to get up and have to stay in her office because of her. When they had gotten to the hospital wing Professor Snape had instructed her to go set on the nearest bed and had disappeared into the office. It must have been connected to Madame Pomfrey's quarters like his was, as Madame Pomfrey came out with him a few moments later. She had inspected Hermione thoroughly, making sure that there was nothing wrong with her despite Professor Snape's protests that there was nothing wrong and that he just wanted to make sure that he wouldn't find her in the halls again. She ignored Professor Snape and scrutinized Hermione until finally she gave in and admitted that her head hurt from when she had hit it. She had barely stopped herself from admitting that she had hit it against a tree in her dream, but she saw Professor Snape looking at her oddly and she knew that he had known what she was about to say.

The pain potion that she had given her had helped and Hermione had been glad that she had asked for it, but she still didn't feel right. She was tired and achy and she felt like she really had been out in the forest running for her life. Her dreams had always felt real. She had always awoken with a feeling that what she had seen was real, that it had really happened, but this time it was different. She felt as though she had never fallen asleep at all. She was always tired, she didn't remember the last time she had had a decent night's sleep but she had slept. Even if it was only for hours at a time, even if it was disrupted by horrible nightmares, she still got some rest. Tonight it felt as though she hadn't gone any. Now it was if she was too tired to sleep and no matter how much she wanted to fall asleep, she couldn't.

Frustrated, Hermione rolled back to the other side of the bed to watch out the window. Before Madame Pomfrey had fallen asleep she had told Hermione that she would be allowed to leave after sunrise. The wards would permit her leave on her own once the new day had begun. And now Hermione couldn't wait for sunrise.

--

"Where were you this morning?" Ginny asked Hermione at dinner that night. "I was hoping to get your help on my Defense essay, but you weren't in the common-room or at breakfast."

"I woke up early." Hermione explained, "I was one of the first people at breakfast and then I went to the library to work on my own essay."

"We ave a dense say do?" Ron asked through his mash-potatoes.

"Ronald, learn to speak with your mouth closed or just stop talking all together." Hermione snapped at him. The fact that she hadn't slept well in weeks was beginning to get to her and Hermione found her temper getting the best of her a lot more these days. She had gotten used to the dreamless potion and the relief they had given her. Now that she didn't have that, she was depending on large amounts of coffee and tea but they could only do so much.

Ron glared at her, swallowing his food before muttering something about what he'd like to say to her.

Taking pity on her friend, knowing that she had been unfairly harsh, Hermione explained that the essay she had been working on was for Transfiguration and not Defense, so he didn't have to worry.

"Oh, good." Ron said, "Because I haven't started on that one yet and I don't need to worry about doing another one."

"Guess it's a good thing you have all weekend then, isn't it?" Ginny asked smiling smugly at her brother.

"Why don't you go sit somewhere else Ginny?" Ron asked, glaring at his sister.

"Why, when it's so much fun to stay here and torture you instead." She said smiling sweetly at him.

"As much fun as this conversation is to listen too," Hermione said shoving her plate away. "I have to go down to the dungeons; Professor Snape doesn't really like it when I'm late."

Ginny shot Hermione a sympathetic look before going back to eating, oblivious of her brother and Harry sharing a worried look. Hermione caught it though. This was the first time that Hermione had gone to her occlumency lesson since Harry and Ron had discovered them. At the end of the term Professor Snape had canceled her lessons for the last few weeks before the Christmas holidays. He claimed that it was because he had exams to finish, but Hermione was pretty sure that it was something other than that, something to do with the Order that he wasn't able or willing to tell her.

And now Harry and Ron knew what she was doing when she went down there she didn't know what to say to them.

"Do you want us to walk you down there?" Harry asked her.

"No, you guys aren't done eating yet." Hermione said shaking her head. "There's no reason for your guys' dinner to be ruined too."

"I don't mind" Harry told her a little too quickly.

"It fine Harry." Hermione said giving him a small smile. She could tell that Ginny thought Harry was being unusually pushy as well. "I can walk by myself."

Hermione stood up quickly and hurried out of the Great Hall, waving at her worried friends over her shoulder.

Hermione walked quickly down the hallways, weaving in and out of groups of straggling students careful not to run into any of them. Despite the fact that she felt too tired to fight an invasion of her mind Hermione was in a hurry to get down to the dungeons, she wanted to know what Professor Snape and Dumbledore had figured out about her dreams. She didn't care if she had to say a spell or take a more heavy duty potion or wear a bizarre magical hat to keep the nightmares at bay. She would do whatever they said. She just wanted to not be afraid to sleep. She wanted to not be afraid of her own subconscious.

Pulling her robes closer to her body to keep out the chill, Hermione knocked on Professor Snape's classroom door. A moment later he called for her to enter and Hermione hurried inside.

He wasn't grading papers as he normally was instead he was leaning against his desk his arms folded against his chest as he stared in her direction. He was watching her again. It was different from the pitying look that he sometimes gave her. He looked as if he was trying to find something within her, as though he were expecting her to suddenly do something shocking.

Trying to dismiss her thoughts, Hermione walked up to the front of the room. Professor Snape was not an easy man to read, she was probably misunderstanding whatever it was she was seeing. It was probably him wondering why he was bothering to continue teach her occlumency to her. While she was making good progress in her own opinion, she knew she was still progressing too slowly for Professor Snape's liking. She could now repel him from her mind but it took much too long to do it. She found that she was much better at forcing him to see the images that she wanted him to and she used that to give her time to drive him out of her mind. It was a strategy he approved of but he still kept telling her to push herself harder, to practice more, so she would be able to stop him from seeing anything at all.

"Miss Granger" Professor Snape said nodding at her.

"Hello Professor Snape." Hermione said. She wanted to ask him about what they had last talked about, but she bit her tongue knowing that he would tell when he was ready and she couldn't force anything out of him. Occlumency lessons and teacher aid duties had taught her a lot about dealing with him. She had learn when best to remain silent, which was quite often, when to speak up and how to ask him questions in a way that he actually answered them instead of just yelling at her.

"Before we start this week's lesson, I would like to speak to you about last night." He told her.

Hermione quickly nodded her head. This was one of those times when it was best to remain quiet and let him explain things.

"I have spoken with the Headmaster and while we continuing to research these dreams, as of now we have found no solution to stop them." He said.

"No solution?" Hermione repeated, completely thrown off.

"Right now, you need to concentrate on your occlumency lessons," He told her. "You are coming along in your training and once you are able to keep me out, you will most likely be able to block out the dreams as well."

"Most likely?"

"Until we can determine the cause of these dreams, nothing can be for sure Miss Granger." He told her.

Hermione nodded her head again, unable to hide her surprise and confusion. She felt like she needed to sit down. She had spent her whole life believing that people like Professor Snape, people like Dumbledore, had all the answers. That you could go to them with your problems and they could come up with a solution. Now she felt like the rug had been ripped out from underneath her. If they didn't have the answers, if they didn't know what was happening to her, how could she possibly begin to understand it herself?

--

Harry stared at the portrait hole from across the practically empty common-room, willing it to open and Hermione to be on the other side. He had been trying to complete his own Transfiguration essay since he came back after dinner, but now that he knew what Hermione and Snape were doing he couldn't get it off his mind. He couldn't help but wonder what Snape had seen in her mind. Did he know about all the things the three of them had done over the years? Did he know all the things that Hermione had been keeping from him? Did Snape now know more about his own best friend then he did?

Angry at where his thoughts had led, Harry slammed his Transfiguration book closed and shoved it into his book bag. There was no way he was finishing his essay tonight.

"Read something you didn't like?" Ron asked looking at Harry strangely.

"No, just can't concentrate." Harry told him. "I keep thinkin' about Hermione and Snape."

"And their…her teacher aid duties." Ron said looking around to make sure no one was listening. "Yeah, I got to say that's one experience I'm glad not to have shared with you and her. No way I'd ever want that git poking around in my head."

"Yeah, disturbing doesn't even begin to describe it." Harry said. Ron shuddered, closing his own book.

"But its Hermione, she always catches onto stuff faster than the rest of us, she'll get it down soon and then she won't have to go back." Ron said.

"I guess." Harry said.

"Besides, I mean Hermione did ask for the lessons herself. She can stop whenever she wants if it gets horrible." Ron continued. "Hermione's not exactly normal, a normal person would have stopped the lessons as soon as they found out Snape was the teacher, but even Hermione wouldn't stick around forever if it was horrible."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Harry said, "It's just…"

"Just what?" Ron asked.

"What if Hermione didn't ask for the lessons herself?" Harry asked quickly.

"What do you mean? She told us that she did." Ron said.

"Yeah, but Hermione….Hermione's good a keeping secrets when she has to. Remember in third year when she had the time turner, she didn't say anything all year because McGonagall told her not to." Harry said, "What if…What if someone told her to keep the lessons a secret? What if the attack at Christmas, her weird behavior all year, the occlumency lessons, what if there all connected somehow?"

"Connected how?" Ron asked. He looked skeptical, but he knew Harry well enough not to ignore what his friend was thinking.

"I don't know." Harry said shaking his head. "I just…When I was talking with Dumbledore after we got back to school, I kept feeling like he wasn't telling me something. And when I asked Hermione about what they had talked to her about, she got all evasive like she didn't want to talk about it. Eventually I got her to tell me about the bracelet they gave her, but that was it."

"Dumbledore gave her a bracelet?" Ron asked confused.

"To help track her." Harry said. "In case they ever need to find her."

"Well that's good, isn't it?" Ron asked. "If anything happens, then they can find her. Maybe you should get one."

"Yeah, maybe." Harry said turning out the window. Something just felt off to him. Hermione was finally starting to get better, but she seemed different now. More tired, more apprehensive and he didn't know if it was just in his mind or if it was real. When he had talked to her about Dumbledore she had looked guilty, like she had earlier in the year when she had explained that she had fallen asleep after the Halloween Ball. He just didn't know why she felt guilty, what she was lying to him about or even if she was lying at all.

He didn't like secrets. Not ones that mattered, that changed things. Secrets had led to Sirius's death. He would not lose someone else because people chose to withhold information from him. He would not lose Hermione because of it.

"Hey, look whose back." Ron's voice came startling him. Harry glanced back at him and then to where he was looking. Hermione was walking further into the common room. She looked tired.

"Hey guys." Hermione said forcing a small smile at her friends.

"Hey, Hermione how was…your thing?" Harry asked.

"Uhh…fine, I guess." Hermione said shaking her head. Really, it hadn't gone too well. Her head hadn't been in it. She couldn't stop herself from thinking about what he had told her and she couldn't concentrate on keeping him out of her mind. And Professor Snape had not liked that. It took her much longer than normal to block him out and she knew that she hadn't made any progress. And that scared her too, because as of now her weak occlumency skills were all she had to keep the nightmares at bay.

"You don't look fine." Ron pointed out.

"Yeah, I…I'm just tired." Hermione said. "I think I'm going to head up to bed. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Goodnight." Harry said watching her go. He thought that he would feel better once he saw for himself that she was okay. But he didn't feel better. He felt worse.

--

Hermione slowly walked up the staircase, making her way to Gryffindor tower. She had just finished helping Hagrid and she was exhausted. She hadn't gotten any sleep last few nights; she had been too scared to sleep. She had taken to sneaking down to the common room after her roommates had fallen asleep and she would spend the night staring out the window, looking at the stars and watching the sunrise. Alone in the common-room things were bad, but alone in her bed things were much worse.

Sighing deeply, Hermione turned to walk down the corridor. All she wanted was just one decent night sleep, one night without horrible dreams. She really didn't think that was too much to ask.

Hermione heard something creak behind her and jumped. Taking a deep breath, Hermione turned around, looking all around her but saw nothing. She felt ridiculous, there was nothing there. She continued walking again, this time a little quicker. Even if she hadn't seen anything, she still felt uneasy in corridors alone at night.

Then she heard it again and this time it was accompanied by a hand on her shoulder. She let out a whimper before quickly turning around and backing away. She could see a figure hiding in the shadows.

"Y-yes?" she asked, her voice coming out shaky. "Who's there?"

She couldn't make out much in the darkness, but he didn't look like a student and she knew for sure that he wasn't a teacher because he would have said something by now if he was, deducted points, something.

"You mean you don't recognize me?" he asked in a deep familiar voice.

"Sirius?" she whispered unbelievingly as she moved a step closer. But no, it couldn't be Sirius he was…he was gone. He couldn't be there, not anymore.

"Well that's what everyone calls me, though sometimes I think I was given the wrong name." he laughed.

Hermione took a step closer and saw that he spoke the truth. It was Sirius, same long black hair, same gray fathomless eyes, but he looked different too, he looked happier somehow. Like the times she had seen him with Harry or talking about Harry's mother and father.

"Sirius?" She repeated. When she received a nod in response, she flung herself into his arms unable to stop herself. Something good had happened for a change. Something wonderful. Harry was going to be so happy to see him. This would change everything.

"Sirius what are you doing here?" Hermione asked pulling away, "_How_ are you here?"

"Shh!" he said placing a finger to her mouth, "None of that matters right now. I need to show you something. It's important." He took her hand in his own large one and began to lead her down the hall quickly.

"Sirius, slow down." She called to him; she was practically running to keep up with his pace.

"We have to hurry." he told her, "It's just a little ways up here now." He didn't look at her as he talked, just shifted his grasp to her wrist as he continued quickly down the hall.

"Sirius you're hurting me." She said tugging at his hand. His grip on her wrist was painful, and she was sure she was going to have a bruise.

"You need to be moving faster." He snarled turning back to her, but it wasn't Sirius anymore. His face was ugly and contorted as he stood in the moonlight, nothing like Sirius at even the worst of times. She stumbled back, as if she had been struck, falling to the floor. She had been so sure that he had been Sirius. That he had somehow been able to come back to them again. That something good had finally happened. But it had just been another lie.

She scrambled back as he came towards her, his face changing back to Sirius as he came back into the shadows, but he was faster than her. He quickly grabbed her wrists, holding them above her head, pinning her to the floor. She tried to fight him, to kick him, to do anything, but his hold was too tight.

"What's the matter?" he asked, "I thought you were happy to see me."

"You're not Sirius." She choked out between tears.

"Yes, I am." He told her, his tone was just as gentle as she remembered. But she forced herself to remember that this wasn't Sirius. That Sirius wouldn't have hurt her. That Sirius wouldn't have pinned her to the floor. That he _couldn't_ be here. That he was dead. Whoever this was, it was not Sirius.

"No you're not." She said shaking her head.

"Yes, I am" he said through clenched teeth, his hands tightening around her wrists. "This is what you wanted Hermione. This is what you kept asking for when you woke up in the hospital wing and found out what happened to me. You wanted me to come back. _You're_ why I'm here. Don't you still want this? Don't you still want me here with you, with Harry?"

"You aren't Sirius." She repeated.

"How could you just forget about me?" he demanded, "How can you not recognize me?"

"This is what you wanted. Tell me this is what you wanted." He yelled. His hands moved from her wrists to her throat quickly, wrapping them around it. "Tell me!"

She couldn't breathe. She tried to scream but no sound came. His hands tightened around her throat and Hermione tried to push his hands away, pulling at his fingers trying to pry them from around her throat but no matter what she did she couldn't get him to stop. It was as if he didn't even feel her there. As though she couldn't affect him.

Darkness began to creep in and Hermione could feel the oxygen leaving her body as she fought to breathe. She was beginning to feel light-headed and she gasped for air. She tried again to push his hands away but she couldn't do anything. She couldn't stop him.

Hermione gasped again and started to sputtered. Suddenly she could breathe again. The pressure around her neck was gone. Coughing, Hermione brought her hand up to her throat as she sat up in bed. That had been horrible. For one brief moment it had seemed like everything was going to get better, that there was a possibility of everything changing, and then it had all been ripped away. And that happy ending she had been dreaming of was replaced with horrible, terrifying consequences.

She could still feel his hand around her throat, see his face, Sirius's face contorting in anger and madness. She didn't want to remember him like that. He didn't deserve that.

Wiping the tears away from her face, Hermione grabbed her wand from beneath her pillow and cast "Lumos", she didn't want to be alone in the dark anymore. Trying to adjust to the harsh light, Hermione blinked rapidly trying to figure out if what she was seeing was right. Her wrist, both of her wrists, had red circles around them. Right were Sirius had grabbed her in the dream.

Quickly shoving the quilt off of her, Hermione slipped off the bed and hurried into the bathroom. Locking the door and turning on the light, Hermione slowly stepped in front of the full-length mirror. Forcing herself to meet her own eyes, Hermione gingerly raised her shaking hand to her throat, hissing as she made contact. It was red, almost purple in places and as she turned to the side she could see bruises beginning to form in the shape of his hands.

"Oh god." Hermione staggered back, unable to tear her eyes away from the mirror. This couldn't be real. It was just a dream and dreams couldn't hurt you. She had been telling her that for months now and it had to be true. Nightmares weren't real. Imaginary things could not hurt you. This pain wasn't real, it couldn't be.

Hermione's back hit the bathroom wall and Hermione jerked back startled. She began to sob as slid down the wall and onto the floor, pulling her knees to her chest. It was real. No matter how much she denied it, it was. It hurt to speak, to swallow, to breathe. It was all painfully real and there was nothing she could do to change that. There was nothing anyone could do.

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_**Longest chapter yet. Sorry for the wait, personal issues have stopped me from being able to work on any of my stories but hopefully those are all resolved now and it won't be so long for the next update. That's the plan anyways. For anyone reading Forced into Love I'm currently working on the next chapter and will update as soon as I can. **_

_**Please Review! I love to hear what everyone has to say!**_


	12. Chapter Eleven: Wearing Thin

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**Chapter Eleven:**

_**Wearing Thin**_

"_**She never slows down.**_

_**She doesn't know why but she knows**_

_**That when she's all alone,**_

_**Feels like it's all coming down**_

_**She won't turn around**_

_**The shadows are long**_

_**And she fears if she cries that first tear,**_

_**The tears will not stop raining down"**_

**-Stand in the Rain by Superchick**

Hermione snapped the library book shut and pushed it away, sighing deeply. For the last few days she had been spending every available moment she had in the library trying to figure out what had been happening to her. She was so tired and she wanted desperately to sleep, but she couldn't allow that, not until she found out what had happened, what had caused a dream to affect her like it had. Hermione raised a hand to her throat and instantly regretted it; the bruise salve she had gotten from Madame Pomfrey had helped, but it hadn't healed it, not completely. She wished she could go back for more, but the only reason Madame Pomfrey hadn't asked any questions was that she had bruises on her knees from Occlumency lessons to make her story about slipping down the stairs convincing.

Trying to fight back a yawn, Hermione pulled another book towards her. So far she hadn't found anything in the library to help her. She had found books upon books about deciphering the meanings of dreams, about the symbolism of dreams, even books about lucid dreaming, but nothing that helped her. A few books had touched on the subject of dream manipulation but what little she could find on that involved someone one manipulating their own dreams, never someone else's. She had found one book that said that there were rumors that some had found a way to manipulate others dreams using dark magic but there had been no details about what it entailed or where she could find more information about it.

Hermione was beginning to get desperate. She was on her last stack of books that might be helpful and if there was nothing there, then all she had left was to find a way into the restricted section to look there. And if she didn't find something there, she didn't know what she was going to do.

She had always hated the nightmares, hated the images they made her see, hated the feelings they left within her. But now she wasn't just scared about what she would see when she fell asleep, she was scared about what would happen. Professor Snape had found her blindly running down the corridors, what if her dream had really taken her outside, what if she had wandered into the forbidden forest or off of school grounds all together? She had woken up with bruises and pain caused by actions that had taken place in a dream. What if something worse happened, what if she was killed in her dream, would she die in the real world as well? She didn't want to find out the hard way. She hadn't slept at all since her dream about Sirius. She had been staying awake through large amounts of coffee and pepper-up potion that she had pilfered from Madame Pomfrey, but she knew she wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer. Pretty soon she was going to crash and when she did, she was going to dream.

Leaning her head on her hand, Hermione flipped open the book in front of her searching for the index. She vaguely heard someone coming up behind her before she felt hands gently moved across her shoulders. The hands began to move in slow firm circles and Hermione's head fell forward, unconsciously trying to give him better access as she gave into the feelings of ease he was creating. It felt absolutely wonderful, as though he knew exactly where she had built up tension.

"Oh George, that feels wonderful." She said leaning back into his touch.

Her exclamation was met with a deep chuckle, one that didn't belong to George. Hermione's whole body stiffened as realization suddenly came crashing down on her; she had broken up with George and even if she hadn't, he was no longer at Hogwarts to give her backrubs when she had worked too long in the library. Panic began to set in and Hermione felt the sudden urge to run from the library, but the hands held her gently in place.

"_You do not have to fear me." _The deep voice seemed to come from everywhere, washing over her producing a feeling of deep contentment inside her. His hands began to move again, raising themselves higher to tenderly massage the base of her skull. She felt herself leaning back again, a hard chest pressing into her back. Somehow this felt right, as though somehow he could make everything better just by being there.

Suddenly Hermione found herself speaking without realizing it, "I don't fear you." She told him.

She felt him silently laugh, his chest rumbling against her. "_But you do not trust me." _The silky voice came. She could think of no other way to describe it, it caressed her, leaving her feeling breathless and dazed. She had never heard anything like it before. It seemed almost musical, hypnotic even.

"_But not to worry my dear, you will." _

Hermione was jerked awake, as someone began roughly shaking her shoulder. She instantly missed the contentment she had felt, the gentle touch; the table beneath her head now seemed hard and as she opened her eyes she found the library lights much too bright. Groaning, Hermione lifted her head off the table and looked up at the boy who had just woken her.

"Sorry, Hermione," Harry said, shrugging at her. "It's almost time for potions, and Snape will deduct a huge amount of points if he finds out you were sleeping when you should be in class."

"No, no it's fine." Hermione said, "I shouldn't have been asleep. I was asleep…I was asleep."

It was finally dawned on Hermione what this meant, she had been dreaming again. Though this dream was far different than any dream she had had before, she didn't know what to think about it. She was thankful that she hadn't been harmed, but…but she couldn't help but feel worried about what had happened. He had felt so right, he had brought comfort with him that she hadn't felt for a long time, and there was a part of her that ached to feel that way again, no matter what the consequences. After all the terrible dreams she had had, she desperately wanted for there to be nothing wrong with this one. But she couldn't shake the feeling that there was. That man could have been anyone, she had never even seen his face, and yet she had trusted him, she had trusted him completely. That worried her. If her dreams had taught her anything it was that they were never what they seemed, something bad always happened.

"Yeah, asleep." Harry said, "It's that thing you do where you close your eyes and dream, or in Ron's case snore."

"I-I know." Hermione said quickly standing up. "I just didn't mean too, obviously." Hermione said beginning to stack the books she had spread out all over the table.

"What are you working on?" Harry asked, handing her a book.

"Just a project." Hermione said, quickly grabbing the book from him. She didn't want him to see what she was researching; it would only lead to questions she didn't want to answer. "It's extra credit, for Defense." Hermione lied, reaching for another book.

Harry's hand shot out, clasping her hand and maneuvering her around the table until she was right in front of him. "Hermione what happened? Who did this?" Harry asked, running his hand over the remains of the bruise on her wrist.

Hermione quickly pulled her hand away, pushing her robe sleeve down. The glamour charm must have worn off. "It's nothing, Harry." Hermione told him.

"It's not nothing, Hermione." Harry said, shaking his head, "Now, tell me what happened." He told her.

"Harry, it really is nothing." Hermione told him, "Last time I was at my occlumency lessons—"

"Snape did this!" Harry cried loudly.

"Of course not, Harry, don't be ridiculous." She said, glancing around the library to see if anyone was watching them after Harry's exclamation. "You know what occlumency lessons are like, every five minutes you end up crashing to the floor. I landed on my wrist the last time I was there and broke something. Professor Snape certainly didn't cause it; he was the one who healed it."

"Why didn't he get rid of the bruise too?" Harry asked.

"He…He told me that maybe the pain would serve as an incentive to finally master occlumency." Hermione told him rolling her eyes.

"Sounds like Snape." Harry muttered, finally accepting her explanation.

"I'm fine, Harry. I promise." She told him. "I really appreciate you waking me up, but why don't you go ahead without me?" She suggested, "I need to put most of these books back and ask Madame Pince where to find one more."

"I could help." Harry said.

"Oh come on Harry, you don't know your way around the library any more then Ron does. It'll be much faster if I just do it myself. I promise not to be late for Potions. Trust me I don't want Professor Snape to take points from Gryffindor any more then you do."

"Alright, I guess," Harry said, though he looked reluctant to leave. "If you're sure."

"I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't, Harry." Hermione told him with a smile.

"Okay, see you in the dungeons." Harry said, turning and making his way back through the library. She waited until she could no longer see his retreating back before she sunk back into her chair. She didn't know what to think anymore. Everything was just so confusing and complicated. She hadn't slept in days, her throat ached and she had lied to Harry. Again. Sometimes she felt like that was all she ever did when they talked. She was trying so desperately to cover up everything, that she couldn't talk to him without feeling defensive and guilty.

Trying to push her thoughts aside, Hermione raised her wand to her wrist performing another glamour charm, redoing the other wrist and her throat as well. She didn't need them wearing off in the middle of potions.

She glanced up at the large pile of books in front of her; most of them were sorted to the left, all useless to her. There were only three books left in the unread pile. She pulled them across the table, closer to her, deciding just to leave the rest of them where they were. Madame Pince would deal with them eventually. Hermione grabbed her bag off the floor, shoving the books inside. She saw something move inside the bag and she glanced down to see that the vial of pepper-up potion she had nabbed from Madame Pomfrey had been pushed up to the top. She quickly lifted it from the bag, pulling out the cork. If she didn't want to fall asleep again she would need something to help keep her awake.

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"Golpalott's Third Law!" Professor Snape's voice rang out loudly in the quiet classroom. "Can anyone tell me what it is, or has once again as expected, no one bothered to do the assigned reading?"

Hermione's hand rose in the air, alone. Harry watched as Professor Snape scanned the classroom, sneering at the students who obviously had no idea what he was talking about, before he stopped, his gaze settling next to him on Hermione.

"Miss Granger, please enlighten us." He said. There was something unfamiliar in his tone to Harry; it wasn't nice, but he spoke to Hermione as he normally did his Slytherins and it left Harry with an unpleasant feeling in his stomach. It felt as though he didn't know something that he should, something Snape was aware of but not him.

"Golpalott's Third Law states that the antidote for a blended poison will be equal to more than the sum of the antidotes for each of the separate components." Hermione said quickly.

"Correct." Professor Snape said, tilting his head forward in acknowledgement. "Five points to Gryffindor."

Harry had not been aware that it was possible for the classroom to get quieter, but the silence seemed to echo off of the walls as realization of what Professor Snape had just done sunk in. Professor Snape did not give house points to non-Slytherins. He especially did not give house points to Gryffindors.

Professor Snape continued lecturing, but no one was focused on him. Instead every eye in the room was turned on Hermione, as though they were trying to figure out what she could have possibly done to deserve house points from Professor Snape of all people. Hermione fought the urge to sink lower in her seat. She didn't know why Professor Snape had chosen now to award her points when he had never, in six years, done it before and she wished that the other students would stop looking at her as though they expected her to give them an answer. She glanced next to her, Ron was looking at her in astonishment but quickly looked away when he realized that she had noticed and pretended to take notes on Professor Snape's lecture. Harry surprised her, he wasn't watching her like the rest of the class; instead he was glaring at Professor Snape as though he had taken points instead of rewarding them.

Hermione quickly looked away from Harry, trying not to read too much into his look, turning back to listen to Professor Snape. As she did, she noticed Malfoy twisted in his seat staring straight at her. His resemblance to his father was more prominent than ever. He had his father's eyes, gray eyes that mocked you, stripped you of your confidence as he stared you down and Hermione couldn't help but shiver at the sight of them. His eyes were filled with resentment and anger like she had never seen from him before, even directed towards Harry and that scared her far more then she would have ever thought it would. Just months ago he was merely Malfoy, a stuck up, nasty but relatively harmless Slytherin, now he was Lucius Malfoy's son, and that made him anything but harmless.

Hermione quickly tore her eyes from Malfoy, scooting down the bench so she was closer to Harry. She forced herself to listen to Professor Snape, knowing that Golpalott's Third Law was important, but every time she looked up she couldn't help but notice Malfoy glaring at her from across the room.

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As Hermione sat at dinner she could still feel eyes on her. Some curious, some in anger, some insulting; she made sure not to look anywhere near the Slytherin table, she didn't want to see his eyes again, not when they resembled his father's so intensely. As the school day had continued after potions most the looks from the other sixth years had died down, but now that the rest of the school had found out, even more people were staring at her.

It was an uncomfortable reminder of the rumors involving her and George. When she had first noticed everyone staring she had thought about writing to him, telling him what was happening and how it made her wish that he was still there to help her like he had done last time, but then she remembered that she couldn't write him. She remembered that he hated her, that she had made sure that he did in the end. And she wanted to feel some sort of twisted happiness in that. She wanted to take comfort in the fact that he was safer hating her, safer far away from her, but right no she couldn't; not on top of everything else.

"Hermione are you okay?" Ginny asked her from across the table. "You've barely eaten anything."

"I'm fine." Hermione said shaking her head, "I'm just not very hungry."

"You don't seem fine." Harry said from next to her.

"I…I'm just really tired of being stared at." Hermione told them, "I should be used to it by now, but I'm not."

Harry nodded his head in understanding; he knew what it was like to be the center of attention when you wanted nothing more than to fade into the background. He wished there was something he could do to help his friend, but there wasn't. Hogwarts student population wasn't well known for letting things go quickly.

"I don't even understand what the big deal is," Hermione said slapping her fork down on the table. "Professor Snape awarded me points for correctly answering a question; he didn't suddenly profess me his favorite student."

"The big deal is that it's Snape." Ron said with a sneer, "Snape just doesn't do things like that; he favors Slytherins and no one else. That's how it was when all my brothers went here, that's how it is now."

"You have to admit, it is a bit strange." Ginny said tentatively.

"Professors are supposed to award points to the students, that's the entire point of the point system," Hermione said getting fed up with her friends. They were supposed to be on her side, they were supposed to tell her that it wasn't a big deal and there wasn't anything strange about it. Why couldn't they just do that?

"People are just making a big deal out of nothing and I wish they would _stop_ _staring_!" Hermione said loudly, spotting a group of fourth years looking up the table at them. She had enough eyes on her already; she didn't need the entire school watching her to see if anything else would happen.

"It should die down soon, everyone's just curious." Ginny told her with a large smile. It looked forced and untrue and Hermione couldn't blame her. She knew Ginny was just as curious as the rest of the school about what would make Professor Snape give her points but was holding back for the sake of her friend. Hermione understood; the truth was she wanted to know too. She was all too aware of the fact that she never remembered hearing of Professor Snape ever awarding points to a Gryffindor, had barely even heard of him awarding points to Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. Ron was right, that was just the way it was.

A part of Hermione wondered if it was because of the last conversation she had with Professor Snape, was this his way of apologizing for not being able to help her, for not being able to stop her dreams? Was there something more to it then she realized? She wasn't sure she wanted to know if there was.

Hermione shoved her plate away and placed her head in her hand. She was so tired and the tension the situation was causing wasn't doing anything to help her. She wanted to go upstairs and go asleep. She wanted to sleep so badly.

"Hermione are you sure you're okay?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, I'm just a bit tired." Hermione told him. Harry was watching her closely again, and it took all her willpower not to fidget under his gaze. His eyes seemed like they were searching her own, as though he was trying to figure out if everything really was okay or if she just wasn't telling them that it wasn't. She felt as though he could see the bruises she was hiding underneath her glamour charms, that he had somehow figured out just how long it had been since she had really slept.

"I'll be fine once I can get away from everyone and get some sleep." Hermione told him, with a smile. He smiled back at her but she could tell his heart wasn't in it. She could tell there was a part of him that didn't believe her.

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"Tonight we are going to be doing something special." Remus told her. Hermione didn't know whether to be excited over the prospect that they might not be dueling during tonight's lessons or worried about what else they could be learning.

"I think that part of the reason that you've been having difficulties mastering dueling is because of your approach." He told her, "You think about what's going to happen too much."

"You can't ask me not think Remus, that's like asking Ron not to eat." Hermione said.

"That's not exactly what I meant."Remus said with a smile. "What I meant is that you need to think less about what you're doing and rely more on your instincts, on means you already have. That is what we will be working on tonight."

"Every magical being can sense magic whether they realize it or not, it's how wizards can see what Muggles can't. A magical sixth sense if you will." Remus explained. "Everyone is capable of it, though it's more difficult for some than others, and honing this skill will allow you to sense a magical presence even when you can't see it. It will allow you to know when someone or something is sneaking up behind you, I'm sure you can understand how important that could be."

"Yeah," Hermione said quietly as she watched him walk around his desk and ruffle through a drawer. He pulled out a piece of red cloth, before picking his wand off the desk and vanishing the desks throughout the room. The classroom suddenly looked much larger without them and it left Hermione feeling rather small in the center of it all.

"It takes time but you can be trained to sense magic. That is what this is for," He said holding up the red cloth. "You're going to wear this and try to find me."

"Try to find you?" Hermione repeated. "Remus…I'm not sure—"

"I know this may seem a bit silly." He told her, "But like I said before this could prove to be very important for you. If you know if you've just breached wards or if there is someone magical in your presence when there should not b

e, then you will be more prepared and ready to defend yourself."

"And the blindfold helps with that?" Hermione asked, still nervous. She understood what he was saying but she wasn't comfortable with the idea of not being about to see what was going on around her. She had always liked to be in control, but recently the need to be in control stopped being a strong desire and became a necessity.

"Yes." He said smiling at her, oblivious of her worries. "Now, turn around. I'm going to put it on you."

Hermione nodded and did as she was told, though she still felt unsure. Remus knew what he was doing, she reminded herself, he was her professor and her friend and he would never do anything that hurt her. This was better than trying to duel in current state anyways. She was too tired to be able to put up much of a fight and Remus would know that something was wrong if she was forced to try. She had been worrying about it all day and there was a sense of relief that she wouldn't have to try. But that sense of relief suddenly disappeared as the blindfold slid over Hermione's eyes. She forced herself to take a deep breath but it didn't seem to help. She didn't like this. She didn't like this at all.

Remus tied the blindfold securely and then she heard him begin to move. When he spoke again, his voice came from in front of her. "Are you alright?" He asked her.

"Y-Yeah." Hermione said, "I'm okay."

"Good." He said. "Now I want you to find me."

"Find you?" Hermione repeated.

"Yes, I will be in part of the classroom. I want you to try to find me, to sense me. It won't be easy, but there is a part of you that knows how to do it, you just need to tap into it." As he spoke his voice became quieter and suddenly started coming from different directions.

"Count to ten Hermione." His voice came again. This time it was to the left of her. "And then find me."

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.

Silence. All she heard was horrible silence. Hermione didn't know what Remus was talking about. She couldn't sense his presence. She couldn't hear him. She couldn't feel him. She felt alone and that was all she felt.

Hermione took a deep breath, forcing herself to step forward. Remus's voice came from her left the last time he had spoken to her which made her think he would have gone to the right to try to throw her off. She knew he wasn't going to make this easy for her.

Taking another couple of steps forward, Hermione turned to the right. She listened intently, straining to hear something but no sound came. She took another step forward, and then another and then another. She felt ridiculous, ridiculous and anxious.

She took a step further into the room and she felt something, it was the same feeling she got when she knew someone was watching her, she could sense another presence connected with her own. Cocking her head to the side, she listened more intently taking a step farther to the right.

She couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything, but she could feel something there.

She was going the right way, she could tell. She didn't know what had happened, she didn't know where this feeling was coming from, but somehow she knew that she was going in the right direction. Holding her hand out in front of her, she quickened her pace. He was right there, she could feel something different in the air, she could feel him.

"You're right here." She said extending her hand out a little farther. She touched nothing but air. "Am I right?" She asked using her other hand to pull off the blindfold.

Remus was standing right in front of her, his chest inches away from her still extended hand.

"I found you." Hermione said proud of herself. She didn't think she was going to be able to do this.

"Yes, you found me." He sounded as though he hadn't expected her to do it and his tone left Hermione feeling rather confused. She didn't know whether to be happy that she had succeeded in something that was supposed be difficult or worried by the look on his face when she had succeeded. It was more than just surprise, there was an uneasiness to his expression and for a brief moment he looked as though he had never really seen her before.

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Hermione entered the doorway cautiously, looking around in horror at the destruction around her. The Burrow once such a happy, loving place now lay in pieces around her. The walls had crumbled in, no longer able to support themselves, broken furniture and glass was everywhere; it looked as though it had never been a home at all.

"Oh god." She whispered into the air.

"Ron! George! Anyone!" Hermione pushed further into the room, forcing back a sob. This couldn't be happening, not to them. They had never done anything wrong, they didn't deserve this. No one deserved this.

"Ron! George! Mr. Weasley?" She didn't sound like herself, there was a hysterical tone in her voice that she had never heard before.

"Ron!" She called again, "Somebody! Please, somebody answer me!"

She was spinning in circles, trying desperately to see someone, to hear anyone call out to her. No one did. She turned back the way she came from, forcing herself in the opposite direction, to where the kitchen should be. The smoke was heavier there, trapped underneath the barely supported ceiling. It looked unsafe, as though the upstairs could collapse on her at any minute, but Hermione couldn't turn around, she couldn't leave until she knew no one was there.

Hermione carefully stepped over the broken dishes, holding her coat sleeve to her mouth so she could breathe easier. Across the room she could see a collapsed beam, broken pieces of wood, and plaster littering the ground in piles. Between the debris she saw a pale arm lying lifeless on the ground.

"No," She whispered, "No." She rushed forward, tripping over a broken table leg and landing on the floor. She could see all of him now he was facing the opposite direction, his arm twisted in an unnatural way.

"No Ron, no." She said crawling over to him. Part of what used to be the kitchen table was splayed across the lower half of his body and a layer of dust from the plaster had settled on his skin making him appear abnormally pale. She didn't like how it made him look.

"Ron, you're going to be okay." Hermione said, struggling to push the table off of him. "You have to be okay." She whispered.

Tears rained down her face, as Hermione struggled with the table. He couldn't die. She wouldn't let him die. She heard a creak from above her and Hermione froze. She could hear something above her shifting. Plaster rained down on her, sticking to her wet face, causing Hermione to choke on the air around her. She covered her mouth with her sleeve again, looking up towards the ceiling. She could still hear it shifting quietly; it was going to come down, it was going to come down right on top of them. And she couldn't get the table to move, budge even just a little.

She glanced down at Ron's still form, he hadn't moved. His closed eyes mocked her, forcing her to think of what might happen if she couldn't get him out of there, of what might have already happened. But no, no he couldn't be dead. He _wasn't_ dead. She would not let him be dead.

Suddenly Ron's voice from years ago when she panicked under pressure, raised itself to the forefront of her mind. _HAVE YOU GONE MAD? ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT? _Feeling suddenly entirely foolish, Hermione felt around her back pocket, her hand clasping around her wand.

"**__****Wingardium Leviosa****__****" **She called, carefully directing the table to the other side of the room before carefully lowering it to the ground. As soon as it was safely away, she hurried over to Ron's side, taking his good hand in hers. It was cold.

"Ron?" She asked lifting her hand to his face, "Ron please, answer me." His chest wasn't rising. He wasn't breathing. "Ron, no. No, you have to wake up." She said shaking his shoulder. "Come on Ron, just wake up. We can get out of this; you just have to wake up. Please Ron, please just wake up."

She lowered her head to his chest, clinging to him desperately as she chanted for him to please wake up. He never responded. He just lied there, not answering her calls, not hearing her pleas for him to wake up.

"Ron, you can't do this." Hermione said lifting her head to look up at him, "This isn't what's supposed to happen. You can't leave; you can't leave Harry and me here all alone. We can't lose you too." She lifted her hand to his face, rubbing her thumb over his cheek. She thought that maybe if he could feel her, maybe if he could feel that she was there right beside him, he would remember that he had something to fight for, remember that he was needed there, with her. He still didn't move.

"No." Hermione said shaking her head. "No. Wake up Ron! WAKE UP!" She yelled. She began desperately shaking his shoulders, trying to get him to respond. She didn't care that she was agitating his broken arm, if it hurt him, if it caused him pain that would mean that he was alive and that was all that mattered.

Hermione vaguely heard something move behind her, before a jet of red light sailed past her grazing her shoulder. She quickly ducked, covering Ron's body with her own. She would not let them hurt him, not more than they already had. A second jet of red light came, this time connecting with her back, sending her hurling across the room and crashing into a cabinet.

"Stay away from my son!"

Hermione lifted her hand to the back of her head, when she drew it back there was blood on it. She didn't want to know what that meant. She pushed herself up, leaning against the cabinet as the room began to spin around her. In the doorway was Mr. Weasley, his wand still raised.

"It's me, Mr. Weasley, it's just me." Hermione called weakly. She hurt terribly from hitting the cabinet and black seemed to be creeping in and after what she had just discovered; she was tempted to allow it to take her over, to let it take her far away from there.

"I know who you are Hermione." Mr. Weasley's angry voice came. "_Accio_ wand!"

Hermione's wand, which had been lying beside her, flew into his hand.

"Mr. Weasley, I-I didn't do this." Hermione said looking up at him with wide eyes. "I just got here."

"Molly tried to warn me about you." He said stepping farther into the room, "She told me that you would only bring pain to our family, that you would be the death of us all. I told her that couldn't possibly be true. I told her she was wrong because I trusted you. Well I can see what that got us."

"Mr. Weasley, please we have to—"

"Do not speak to me!" He yelled, his normally kind features were contorted in anger and disgust, all directed at her. She had never seen him like this before. He was always such a calm caring man. Such anger from him left her feeling terrified. "You are nothing more than Mudblood whore who manipulated two of my sons into thinking you were better then you are. You will pay for what you did to them; I will make sure of it. You will never hurt another member of my family again."

He raised his wand, a terrible look in his eyes and Hermione heard someone let out a shrill scream and she realized it was her.

"Hermione! Hermione, calm down." Hands were pushing at her shoulders, trying to hold her down. Hermione struggled against them, trying to get away. "Hermione, calm down, it was just a dream. It was just a dream."

Hermione stopped struggling as she recognized the voice. She slowly lifted her head and beautiful blue eyes met her own. "Ron?" She asked.

"Yeah, Hermione it's just me. It's okay, you just fell asleep." He said patting her shoulder awkwardly.

"Fell asleep…" Hermione murmured shaking her head. She glanced around her to see that she was still in the common room. There were a few people scattered about looking at her and Ron oddly, she wondered if they had heard her scream or if that was just in her dream.

"Hermione are you okay?" Ron asked, sitting down beside her.

"Yeah Ron, I'm fine." Hermione said, but it wasn't true. Her head and side ached and had to fight to keep herself calm, to keep breathing evenly. It had just been a dream, it hadn't happened, but looking up at Ron she could still see him lying broken on the ground, still see the pain in his father's eyes as he screamed at her.

"You don't look it." Ron said. "Hermione, is this about…is this about what happened over the holidays?" He said leaning closer to her.

"No," Hermione said quickly shaking her head, "I just…" She didn't know what to tell him. She was far from fine and nothing he could say or do was going to change that.

"It's okay Hermione; I know it was about that attack. I heard you say my name." He said not looking at her, his face turning red. "I—I've had dreams about it too."

"Do you remember much about it?" Hermione asked.

"No," Ron said shaking his head. "I just…Most of my dreams we're about what could have happened."

"Yeah, I've had dreams like that." Hermione said softly. "I'm just—I'm so sorry, Ron. I'm sorry that you were there and that they did that to you. Your mum and dad must ha—"

"Hermione, it's not your fault." Ron said shaking his head. He quickly glanced around the room to make sure that no one was listening in. There were a couple of first years who were gawking at them, but he didn't think they were close enough to hear anything. "And my mum and dad don't hate you. I know mum went mental over the George thing, but mum's always been mental, that's not your fault. And Ginny suggested once that we swap you for Percy and Dad seemed rather fond of the idea."

Hermione forced herself to laugh and smile up at him. "I'm sure that isn't true." She told him,

"But thank you." She tentatively closed the gap between them, putting her arms around him and letting her chin rest on his shoulder. She felt his arms awkwardly wrap around her as well, patting her on the back. His hand grazed her side and she winced in pain but she didn't pull away, instead she found herself sinking farther into the embrace. She could feel his chest rising and falling and it comforted her more than anything he could ever have said.

"Sorry." She said pulling away from him.

"It's—I mean it, its okay." Ron said. He was avoiding her eyes again.

"I think I'm going to head upstairs and change." Hermione told him. "I'll meet you and Harry down here for dinner. Wait, where is Harry?" Hermione asked glancing around the common room.

"Dumbledore wanted to talk to him." Ron said shrugging his shoulders. "He left a little after you fell asleep. Told me to make sure no one woke you up until dinner so you could get some sleep. He thinks you're not sleeping very well cause he found you asleep in the library."

Hermione just nodded her head, trying to keep her uneasiness from showing on her face.

"When he gets back tell him not to worry so much." Hermione said, standing up. "I'll meet you guys down here for dinner, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be here." He told her.

Hermione forced another smile at him, before hurrying past him and up the stairs to her dormitory. Parvati and Lavender were in there, giggling on Lavender's bed. Hermione hurried past them, dropping her bag on her bed and pulling out a pair of jeans and a sweater from her trunk. "Hey guys, I'm going to go take a shower before dinner." Hermione said turning to her roommates, "You don't mind, do you?"

Lavender looked like she wanted to tell her no, she always liked to spend twenty minutes in there before dinner checking her make-up and Hermione being in there would prevent that, but Parvati interrupted her nodding her head in consent. "Yeah Hermione, no problem." She told her.

Hermione smiled in thanks before hurrying into the bathroom. Parvati had been nicer to her in the last few months than ever before and Hermione couldn't help but think that it was because of the nightmares. There had been several nights that it had been Parvati who had woken Hermione up, pulling her out of a terrible nightmare. Hermione had never been so happy to see her before. She had even asked her about them once, and she had looked like she was honestly concerned and not just looking for gossip.

Hermione quickly turned on the shower before hurrying over the mirror to get a better look at herself. She couldn't see anything on her face, no bruises, no cuts, nothing to show that she had been thrown across the room and into a cabinet. And there shouldn't be anything there. She hadn't really been thrown across the room, she had dreamed about it and that shouldn't leave any marks behind. But then why did her head ache, why did her side throb?

Slowly Hermione began to unbutton her shirt before gently shrugging it off her shoulders. It hurt horribly and she had to bite her lip to keep crying out in pain. Her entire left side was already bruising terribly; down her side, the upper part of her arm. She couldn't help but wince at the sight of it.

Hermione laid her shirt down on the counter before stepping out of her plaid skirt. She had bruising up the side of her upper leg as well. She let out a bitter laugh at the sight of it; this wasn't supposed to be happening. Dreams weren't supposed to hurt you. They were just images and thoughts; they could haunt you, they could terrify you, but they couldn't physically harm you. It wasn't possible, or at least it wasn't supposed to be.

She didn't know what to do, there was a part of her crying out, begging her to tell someone, to get some help. But there was another voice that stopped her, that told her no, she shouldn't tell anyone. Professor Snape had already told her that there wasn't a way to stop these dreams. If Dumbledore didn't have the answers now, he wasn't suddenly going to gain them when she told him the extent of the damage the dreams was creating. They already knew that there were physical ramifications, telling them wouldn't change anything it would just lead to more nights being watched in the hospital wing, more pity filled looks from everyone. It would give Harry another thing to blame himself for. No, it was better this way. She believed that.

Hermione quickly stepped out of the rest of her clothes and hurried into the shower. She stepped under the water hoping to feel some release; she wanted to forget her dreams, she wanted her dreams to wash down the drain along with the water. She could still feel Ron's lifeless body beneath her own, she could still see his pale face, his mocking closed eyes. She could still hear the anger in Mr. Weasley voice, still see the pain written all over the face, she could still hear him call her a Mudblood whore. And it hurt, it all hurt as though it had really happened, as though her best friend's father really had attacked her, as though she had really discovered her best friend dead. And she didn't know what to do to make that pain go away. She knew that Ron was fine; she knew that Mr. Weasley would never attack her, but that didn't take the images away, it didn't take the pain away. It didn't make this feeling of total helplessness away, and that was what she wanted. That was what so desperately wanted.

Hermione lifted her hand to the back of her head, running her hand over where she had hit it in the dream. Her hand grazed over the knot the cabinet had made and Hermione quickly pulled her hand away, her eyes welling up with tears. She was going to have to do something about it, though she didn't know what. She couldn't walk around with a head injury, but she didn't know how to heal it and she was afraid of what might happen if she tried.

Raising her hand to wipe away the tears and water stinging her eyes, Hermione stopped mid-motion. There was blood on her hand. Looking down at her feet, she could see a stream of bright red blood circling the drain.

---------------------------------

Harry climbed through the portrait hole, quickly ducking out of the way as Parvati hurried through it not even noticing him. Ron was where he had left him by the fire, still doing his homework, but Hermione was gone no longer asleep on the couch. He had hoped that she would sleep longer, she obviously needed it. When he had found her asleep in the library he hadn't thought much about it, he had fallen asleep in there before himself, but the more he thought about it the more unlike Hermione it sounded. Hermione wouldn't fall asleep in the library; she had yelled at people in the past for sleeping on books. No, it wasn't like her at all.

"Hey, Ron" He said sitting down across from him, "Where's Hermione?"

"She umm….she went up to her dorm a little while ago," Ron said not looking up from his homework, "She said—She said she'd meet us down here for dinner."

"Okay."

"Harry," Ron said, sitting his homework to the side and finally looking directly at him, "I think that you might be right about Hermione. Well, I think you were right when you said that something was up and that she was keeping it from us."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

"Well don't say anything to her, I don't want her to know I told you, but after you left Hermione started talking in her sleep. It was real quiet, I was the only one that heard her, but she kept saying my name and asking for someone to help her. She started really panicking and went up to wake her up and she started to scream and tried to fight me off."

"Yeah, she did that when I woke her up at the Burrow." Harry told him.

"She was dreaming about the….what happened at Christmas again." Ron said, "I think that's what she's been hiding. I don't think she's as over it as she wants us to think she is."

It made sense to Harry, though he did think that there was more to it. Hermione had been having a really hard time and then on Christmas she came down and it was as though everything was different. She wasn't the same, no matter how much he wished she was, but she had seemed happier, she had seemed like she was getting better. But was she? Maybe she wasn't. Maybe she had just been keeping it to herself.

Harry heard the portrait hole slam open behind him and saw Ron look up surprised. Harry turned around and watched as Madame Pomfrey hurried into the common room, followed by Parvati. They were heading up towards the girl dormitory quickly. Panic began to overtake Harry as he of all the possible ways Hermione could be hurt because somehow he knew that she was the reason Madame Pomfrey was there.

"Parvati wait!" Harry said, quickly standing up and hurrying over to the girl. "What's going on?"

"Hermione slipped in the shower." She told him quietly, "She hit her head."

"Is she alright?" Harry asked.

"I think so" Parvati told him, "She was bleeding but she was able to get up and out of the bathroom without any help. Lavender and me didn't even hear her fall. She just came out holding a rag to her head, asking us to go get Madame Pomfrey."

"I'm sure Madame Pomfrey will fix her right up, for sure." Ron told them. But it didn't seem very comforting coming from the obviously troubled boy.

-----------------------------------

"Alright dear, let's see what we've got." Madame Pomfrey said taking the washcloth out of Hermione's hand. Hermione didn't know what to think of the silence that followed. Was it worse than what she had expected? Was it better? Could she somehow tell that she hadn't really gotten it slipping in the shower?

"Well it's not too bad." Madame Pomfrey said, "But it is slightly worse than I had expected. Can you tell me what happened?"

"I'm not really sure," Hermione said quietly, looking at her lap. "I had just stepped into the shower and the next thing I knew I was on the floor. My head hurt terribly, but I thought I was fine, that it was just a bump on the head. I got up and started my shower that was when I noticed the blood. It was bleeding a lot Madame Pomfrey, what does that mean?"

"Just that head wounds bleed a lot, dear. Don't worry Miss Granger, everything will be just fine." Madame Pomfrey told her, "I'm going to heal you now, but first I need to clean the wound. I'm afraid that will sting a bit."

"Okay." Hermione said quietly.

Madame Pomfrey murmured a spell behind her and suddenly her head began to burn and Hermione had to bite her lip from screaming out in pain. Slowly the burning subsided and was replaced by a tingly feeling.

"I am sorry, dear." Madame Pomfrey said, "All of the advances magic has and there's still no painless way to do that."

"It's alright, I understand." Hermione told her quietly.

"Now, the wound itself is healed but it will continue to hurt the rest of the day and probably tomorrow as well. I'll give you a pain potion for that. But you will need to spend the rest of the night in the hospital wing tonight for observation, as well Miss Granger." She told her.

"Madame Pomfrey I'd really rather not." Hermione said, quickly turning to look at the older woman.

"I'm well aware that no one likes to spend the night in the hospital wing, but I must insist. Head injuries often have repercussions that aren't seen right away. I would prefer for Miss Patil not to have to come find me in a panic again." Madame Pomfrey said looking at her sympathetically.

Hermione nodded her head, knowing that she wouldn't be able to talk her way out of this one. It was easy to convince everyone that she was fine when they didn't know about the bruise or the pain, but once they knew about them, there was nothing she could do.

"Now, why don't you grab something to sleep in and a follow me downstairs, it's about dinner time I think." Madame Pomfrey told her with a large smile. It made Hermione feel guilty about lying to her. When she smiled like that, it reminded her of her mother. She, like all other children, had lied to her parents many times before but for Hermione it always came with an extreme amount of guilt, as though she had done something unforgivable. She felt the same way when she lied to Harry and Ron.

"Don't look so glum dear," Madame Pomfrey said, "You're not the first student to slip in the showers at Hogwarts. After tonight everything should go back to normal and it will be as though nothing happened at all."

Hermione desperately wished that was true. Unfortunately there was still a large bruise on her side to remind her that it wasn't.

---------------------------------

"Harry, stop staring at me," Hermione hissed under her breath. "Pay attention or Professor Snape is going to take points."

Harry had the grace to blush and look away as he started taking notes on what Professor Snape was saying. He had been staring at her since she had come down for breakfast that morning; she had told him and Ron both not to worry about her so much and that far worse things had happened to her then bumping her head in the shower. That had only seemed to make it worse. Harry had started staring at her again when he thought she wasn't paying attention; he looked as though he was trying to figure something out. Hermione hoped desperately that he hadn't succeeded. She knew that he could somehow sense that there was something wrong and there was a part of her rejoicing in the fact that her best friend could tell when she wasn't herself, when there was something terribly wrong, but she also knew how bad it could be.

Everything was just getting so confusing and out of control and Hermione wanted desperately to find some sort of solace in it; she wanted a few moments where everything seemed as though it was as it should be. But she couldn't even sleep without dreaming of something terrible. She couldn't sit with her friends without thinking about all the things she was keeping from them. She couldn't see a wand without seeing Lucius Malfoy's face. She couldn't look at Harry without hearing Dumbledore words and fearing what he would do if he found out everything. Last night, as she lay in the hospital bed she found herself crying and when she tried to pinpoint the reason, she just kept coming up with more things to cry about it. She just wanted it all to be over. She wanted to stop remembering. She wanted to stop thinking, stop feeling like this.

Hermione felt a tear trickle down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away, glancing beside her to make sure that Harry or Ron hadn't noticed. It seemed like Harry had finally stopped staring after he had been caught. A part of her was relieved; the other part wished he had kept staring.

"The essay is due next Thursday." Professor Snape said from the front of the room, "Class dismissed."

Hermione looked down at her notes and realized that she hadn't written down anything that Professor Snape had said since she had caught Harry staring at her. She didn't even know what the essay they had been assigned was about.

"You coming, Hermione?" Harry asked from beside her.

She looked over and saw that he and Ron had both already packed up their things and were ready to leave.

"I uhh….actually I need to ask Professor Snape a question about the assignment." Hermione told him, "I'll catch up with you guys later."

"We'll wait for you in the hallway." Harry told her. Ron nodded his head in agreement behind him.

"Don't be silly Harry, you guys have Quidditch Practice." Hermione told him. "Go ahead without me."

"Are you sure?" Harry asked. He didn't look like he wanted to leave her there alone and Hermione wondered if it was concern about leaving her alone or leaving her alone with Professor Snape.

"I'm fine, Harry," Hermione told him, "As I've told you multiple times today. Now go, before Professor Snape takes points for you two not leaving when he told you too."

Once Hermione was sure her friends were gone, and that there was no one else waiting to overhear her interaction with Professor Snape, Hermione quickly stood and made her way to the front of the class. Professor Snape had his back to her, as he used his wand to write on the blackboard for his next class.

"Professor?" Hermione said.

Professor Snape turned around eyeing her with a look of surprise. "Yes, Miss Granger?"

"I…I was wondering if you or Professor Dumbledore had made any progress on figuring out my dreams." Hermione said quickly. "I know you would have told him if you had discovered anything concrete but I…I'd be willing to try anything, sir, even if you're not sure it will work."

"I can't help but wonder why you chose to bring this up now, Miss Granger." Professor Snape said.

When she looked up at him she could see no contempt in his eyes, no anger or resentment for asking such a question, and Hermione found herself wanting to tell him everything. All the things that she had been holding back rushed forward begging for her to tell him, all the images, all the pain both physical and mental the dreams had caused, the real reason she had been in the hospital wing the night before. She wanted to tell him how fruitless her own search for answers had been and how it left her worrying that there was no answer to this problem. She wanted him to be Professor Snape and call her childish for worrying so much. She wanted him to be Professor Snape and somehow make it all seem like it was nothing compared to what it could be. She wanted him to be Professor Snape and fix it, for him to find a way to make it all better.

But when she opened her mouth she found herself unable to speak the words. Saying it out loud made it real. Once she said it out loud she couldn't take it back, she could no longer pretend it wasn't happening. As horrible as she felt, as much as she wanted it to all be over, she couldn't do it. She wasn't ready for that, not yet. She felt no solace in her situation, but she did feel some sense of normality and that was the only thing she had left to cling to. When she said it out loud, when it was suddenly real, then she wouldn't even have that.

"I just…they've always been bad, horrible even, and I always hated them but I accepted them because I knew I couldn't stop them…" Hermione begged herself not to cry. She didn't want to show him how weak she was, she didn't want him to see how much they had broken her. "But lately, they've been…there just so…"

"They've gotten worse." Professor Snape finished for her.

"Yes." Hermione said quietly. Yes, they had. So much worse then she had ever expected.

"I will speak with the Headmaster, Miss Granger and make sure he is aware of your openness." Professor Snape told her. "And if we discover anything, you will be the first to know."

"Thank you, sir."

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Hermione looked up from her essay for Potions as she heard the portrait hole open and Gryffindor Quidditch players began climbing in. They were soaked from the rain and they left a muddy trail as they made their way up the stairs to their dormitories. None of them seemed very happy. Harry and Ron were the last to climb through the portrait hole.

"Hey guys, how was practice?" Hermione asked.

"Horrible." Ron said, before walking past her towards the stairs.

"What happened?" Hermione asked taking out her wand. She quickly cast a cleansing and drying charm on her friend. She needed to talk to him before dinner and she didn't want him hurrying off to take a shower.

"Thanks." Harry said taking the seat next to her. "Practice was going well until Malfoy and the rest of the Slytherin team showed up and started making comments. We chased them off eventually, but not before they made some comments that got to Ron. After that it started to rain and practice just got worse and worse."

"I'm sorry, Harry." Hermione told him.

"It's okay, it's not like it's your fault, Hermione." Harry said, "I'm happy to blame Malfoy."

"You always are." Hermione said forcing a small smile at her friend. He smiled briefly at her before leaning back, resting his head on the back of the couch, and closing his eyes. He looked tired and Hermione felt guilty asking him now, but she really wanted to do this tonight. She needed to do this tonight.

"Harry? Can I ask you a favor?" Hermione asked.

"Sure." Harry said. His eyes were still closed and Hermione wondered if he would just tell her yes to get her to be quiet so he could sleep. She wouldn't mind as long as he said yes.

"Can I borrow your Invisibility cloak tonight?" She asked quietly, so no one would hear.

He's eyes snapped open at her question and he looked over at her confused. "Why do you want to borrow that?"

"I want to look something up in the Restricted Section," Hermione told him. "But it's not like I can just wander in there whenever I want. I have my teacher aid duties with Hagrid tonight and I thought that afterwards I could just slip into the library. I already know the book I want, I just have to get to it. Please Harry, it's just for tonight."

"Well, I guess it's alright." Harry said. He was still looking at her oddly. "I'll bring it down before dinner." He told her standing up.

"Thanks, Harry." Hermione told him with a large smile. He smiled back before hurrying upstairs and out of her view. She let out a sigh of relief when she was sure that he was gone. She had been worried he would ask her a lot of questions about what she needed it for and why when she was usually so against using it, was she willing to do it now all by herself. She wasn't quite sure what she would have told him if he had asked.

When she had left the potions classroom earlier that day, she had felt hopeful that maybe Professor Dumbledore would have some sort of answer for her and she had clung to that hope for as long as she could. But alone in the common-room she realized that there was no one watching her there and the tiredness had began to creep in and she felt herself begin to drift, the lure of sleep almost too strong for her to fight. Hermione found herself unable to wait for Dumbledore to find something; she needed to do something then. So she had searched the last two books she had from the library, reading them from top to bottom, and had found nothing. It was as unhelpful to her as all the others and it had left her feeling even more powerless then before. She couldn't face another dream like the last one she had had. She couldn't endure the pain, she couldn't see another person she loved die, it hurt too much.

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It been much easier to sneak into the library then she had thought it would be, Madam Pince hadn't even glanced in her direction as she had walked past her. Once she entered the Restricted Section she had kept the cloak tight around her as she skimmed the titles, already knowing the exact title she was looking for. In one of the first books that Hermione had read, she had found a reference to a book called _Breaking the Laws of the Unknown_. It had an entire section dedicated to dream manipulation and Hermione prayed that it would have something in it that could help her. She had been looking for it for weeks and had finally discovered that it was in the Restricted Section earlier that day.

Hermione felt rather odd being under the invisibility cloak without Harry or Ron. Usually they went on these adventures together and she had felt a pang of regret at not being able to include them in this one. She couldn't help but wish that one of them was there with her now; she thought their presence might calm her, might make her feel better about the situation. Between the two of them, she always felt safe. She didn't feel safe now.

She had found the book relatively quickly and Hermione had thought that it must be some sort of a sign, proof that this was going to work out, that things were going to get better. But now as she sat under the invisibility cloak, her wand as her only source of light, she felt foolish for jumping to such conclusions. Life had taught her that things could always get worse.

The book described a type of dream blending; it involved projecting images into another's mind and blending them with the victim's own dreams. They could not alter them completely, the victim's consciousness still had some control but the dream could be shaped around that and manipulated into being whatever it was wanted to be. It was powerful dark magic that formed a link to the victim's mind created by a ritual based around a personal item the victim had willingly given and a channeling device willingly accepted. The channeling device was the most important piece of the ritual, it had to be with the victim whenever they slept, without it nothing could be done and if the victim went without it for too long the connection would be severed completely.

When Hermione had started reading, everything had seemed so promising. As terrible as things the book described were, she had felt oddly light because she recognized the things described, they were things that had happened to her. But now she could only look at the book in dismay, a pain settling in her heart that hadn't been there before. She had been so close. She had thought that she had finally discovered something that could help her, that she had discovered what Dumbledore couldn't. But she had been wrong, she had been so terribly wrong.

While it was more than possible for them to have stolen something from her to use in the ritual, she had never willingly given them anything and certainly hadn't accepted anything from them. And even if that had somehow happened, if they had used the imperious curse, if they had Obliviated her, there was nothing always with her when she dreamed. She had had these nightmares in her own home, at Viktor's, the Burrow, at Hogwarts; nothing was ever exactly the same in all of those places. She had been wrong. There were similarities to what was happening to her, but this book couldn't help her. Nothing could. Thinking about it now, she realized how ridiculous she really had been. The Restricted Section was probably the first place that Dumbledore had looked, he had had this information all the time and he had known that it couldn't help her.

Hermione let out a quiet hysterical laugh before slapping her hand over her mouth to keep from being heard. She continued laughing silently, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably, a feeling of helplessness washing over her. It took her a few minutes to realize she was no longer laughing and was sobbing instead. As horrible as everything had been before, she had her research to keep her going. Every time one book didn't have the answer, she consoled herself by saying that there was more. There were no more books now, there was nowhere else to turn to, there was nothing else to do but wait and see if Dumbledore could come up with an answer. The library had never failed Hermione before and she didn't know what to do now, where to go to for comfort.

All she knew was that the library had never seemed so cold before.

-------------------------

Harry sat up in bed, holding his wand over the Marauders' Map for light. He had been staring at Hermione's name for the last hour. He had watched as she had left Hagrid's and made her way up to the castle, meeting no one along the way. He had watched as she made her way through the corridors and into the library, not getting stopped by anyone. She was right where she said she was going to be, she was in the Restricted Section probably pouring over books and taking notes as he watched her name. And he knew that he should be comforted by that, he knew that he should have stopped watching her the moment she had gotten to the library, that he shouldn't have been watching her at all; but he knew that something was wrong. He could feel it.

Something was being kept from him, something important. Maybe Ron was right, she wasn't as over the attack as Hermione wanted him to think she was. Maybe that was true, maybe that was what she was hiding from him, maybe that was what the Headmaster wasn't telling him because he knew that neither one was being completely honest with him. Harry had asked Dumbledore about Hermione when he had been called to his office and he had told him not to worry so much; he had told him that his friend was dealing with the attack very well, much better than even he had thought she would. He had told Harry that Hermione was a very strong girl and that he should remember that. It was exactly what he had wanted him to say, what he had wanted to be true, but he knew that it wasn't. Something was wrong.

There was a feeling in the pit of his stomach that made him think that she hadn't just fallen down in the shower, that made him think that her behavior wasn't just because of the attack, that there was something more to this, that he was missing something important. Hermione kept telling him that she was fine, kept saying that he didn't need to worry about her, but he _was_ worrying because he knew she wasn't fine. Even Ron had noticed that she wasn't alright. He didn't want to push for answers, he knew Hermione would never tell him anything if he did, but he wanted the truth. He wanted to help her; he wanted her to _let_ him help her. She had been there for him ever since he had got to Hogwarts; it was his turn to help her. She just needed to let him.

* * *

**A/N: Here you go guys. It's a way shorter than normal because I was about three fourths of the way done with chapter eleven and it was way too long to just be one chapter, so I split it up. The good news is that you should get the next one much quicker though. Within the week if everything goes to plan. Sorry about all the grammar mistakes, I know I'm horrible with it. **

**I want to explain part of Hermione's character that I think some people are questioning. Often people get confused by what it means to be a strong person, in the story Hermione's one of those people. She believes that to be strong you need to work through things yourself, that you need to not show weakness or pain in front of the people you care about because it will hurt them. On top of that, she has Dumbledore telling her that Harry needs to see her being a happy healthy person, who's moved on from everything that has happened. **

**PLEASE REVIEW!! I love to hear what you guys have to say. I'm always open to suggestions, ideas, and nice criticism. **


	13. Chapter Twelve: Stumbling

_**Chapter Twelve: **_

_**Stumbling**_

"_I hold my breath_

_As this life starts to take its toll_

_I hide behind a smile_

_As this perfect plan unfolds_

_But oh God_

_I feel like I've been lied to_

_Lost all faith in the things I have achieved"_

**Away From Me by Evanescence**

**----**

Hermione tried to focus on the paper in front of her, but the words kept blurring together. She was so tired. All she wanted to do was go upstairs and crawl into her bed and sleep through the next few days. But she couldn't, she wouldn't let herself do that. Hermione glanced around the common-room to see that she was all by herself. She shouldn't be surprised, it was after midnight everyone should be asleep. _She_ should be asleep.

Hermione pulled her book bag closer to the couch and grabbed her bottle of Pepper-up potion. She knew that she shouldn't drink it, that she shouldn't depend on it to keep her awake, but right now she didn't care. She didn't want to sleep; she didn't want to see those images again. It was too much for her to handle right now.

She had barely put the bottle to her lips when it was knocked out of her hand and sent hurling into the fire where it shattered. She looked up wide-eyed to see Harry hovering over her, an angry look on his face.

"It was just a pepper-up potion." Hermione said quickly. She didn't understand why he would do that, why he would take away the thing that was keeping her awake, the one thing that was keeping her sane.

"It wasn't anything bad. I just needed something to help me stay up to finish my essay." Hermione explained, "I just—"

"Liar!" Harry yelled.

"Harry—"

"You're lying, you and I both know why you're taking that potion and it's not because you want to stay up to do an essay." Harry told her. "I shouldn't be surprised though; all you ever do anymore is lie. Lie to me; lie to Ron; to Remus…Is there anyone you _haven't_ lied to?

"Harry…"

"I want to know why you did it, why you lied to me!" Harry continued as though he hadn't heard her at all, "Tell me why I had to find out from Dumbledore that you decided it was best to leave me in the dark about what was happening to you! I tell you everything Hermione, everything! And you told me nothing! Why?"

He looked so angry, so hurt and betrayed and Hermione's heart broke at the sight of him. She had done this; she had made him this way. "Harry…I was trying to protect you." Hermione told him, "Everything was happening so quickly and I was scared, so scared about what it meant. I didn't want you to have to be scared too. I went to Dumbledore and he agreed, after the attack he told me that he was scared of what you would do if you knew and I….After everything that has happened, Harry, I just didn't want you to be more worried then you already are. You have so much on your shoulders; I didn't want to add more."

"So you thought lying to me was best?" Harry asked. His face was contorted in so much anger and disgust that it made Hermione flinch. It reminded her of the dream she had had after she had been attacked, when she had seen the people she had cared about as her attackers. Harry's green eyes had been filled with hate like that then; she had hoped to never have to see it again.

"You just thought that you could keep all your little secrets, your little classes, your dreams, everything that you told Dumbledore and not me, you thought that you could keep it all hidden and I just would never find out. Harry's too much of an idiot to see what's right in front of his face. Well I found out and I know everything that you kept from me!"

"I wanted to tell you about the classes, Harry. I wanted you to be there with me! That was Dumbledore's decision, not mine! Please believe me Harry, I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you so many times, about everything. I just didn't know how." Hermione said. She wanted him to believe her. He could be angry with her, he could yell at her, he could make her work for his forgiveness, but she couldn't lose him. Not now, not ever.

"Miss Granger, you need to stop lying."

Hermione stared past Harry to see Dumbledore standing there, just feet away from them both. She hadn't noticed him before, but he had obviously been there, listening to their argument. And he hadn't said anything, hadn't tried to stop them, tried to convince Harry that he was wrong. Why wasn't he defending her? Why wasn't he helping her?

"Professor Dumbledore, what are you talking about? I'm not lying; you _know_ that I'm not." Hermione told him.

"I'm sorry Miss Granger, but I cannot help you any longer." He said turning away from her and looking at Harry. "It was Miss Granger's decision not to tell you, Harry." Dumbledore said laying his hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry but it was."

Hermione saw a look of total hurt play across Harry's face and then it was gone and suddenly all that was left was anger. Hard, horrible anger that was all directed at her.

"You're still lying!" Harry shouted. He spun around, roughly grabbing her arms, forcing her to look directly at him. "Do you even know how to do anything but lie? When you said that you were taking occlumency lessons for me, was that a lie? When you said you weren't with George on Halloween, was that the truth or just another lie?"

His grip on his arms was painfully tight and with every question he asked of her, he shook her violently as though it would make her answer the way he wanted.

"Harry your hurting me!" Hermione whimpered. He didn't seem to hear her.

"When you tell me that I'm your best friend does that mean anything to you at all?" He yelled.

She couldn't recognize him. This wasn't the Harry she knew. The Harry she knew was brave, comforting and loved her. He would never do this. But he was. Hermione glanced behind him and saw Dumbledore still behind them. His eyes were twinkling and he smiled at her as though nothing was happening, as though Harry wasn't angry with her, as though he wasn't hurting her.

"Harry please—"

"I don't want to hear another lie!" Harry yelled. He raised his hand and it wasn't until it connected with her face that she realized what he had done. She reeled back, losing her balance, and went crashing to the floor with a terrible thud.

Hermione didn't want to open her eyes, she didn't want to see Harry's angry face again, she didn't want to see the pain, she didn't want to know that she deserved it. So she just laid there trying to listen to what was going on around her. She heard nothing, not even the crackling of the fire.

Hesitantly Hermione opened her eyes and found herself on the floor of the sixth girl dormitory. She was next to her bed, her legs entangled in her sheets. It had just been another dream. It had all just been another dream.

She vaguely remembered coming upstairs, exhausted from her day. It had been so long since she had last slept and she had convinced herself that maybe she would have another dream like she had had in the library. She had convinced herself that maybe there had been nothing wrong with that dream at all, that even if there was that she would be able to figure it out and not let it go too far. She had been so tired that she would have been able to convince herself of anything if it meant she could sleep.

Hermione pulled herself up off the ground and onto her bed. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. A part of her was still expecting Harry to be there, for him to strike her again, and she hated herself for feeling that way. Harry was her friend, she trusted him, and she knew that he would do anything to protect her. But it had felt real. It always felt real.

She could always decipher what had really happened from what she had seen in her dreams. She never got confused about that. She knew that Harry was in his dormitory; she knew that he hadn't come down to the common-room to find her that night; she knew that he hadn't found out about anything. Just like she knew that Mr. Weasley would never attack her, that Sirius no longer could. But it didn't take it away; knowing that it hadn't really happened didn't make it all better. Ever since the Death Eaters had attacked her, she had been haunted by it, forced to relive it over and over again in her mind. It wasn't just that attack that haunted her though; it was seeing George die and being blamed for it, it was Sirius trying to choke the life out of her, a werewolf clawing at her, it was Harry's hate filled eyes; it was her screaming for help and no one coming to save her. She knew all too well that those things had never happened, not really, but she had still felt them happen. And to her, they were very real.

That night's dream had been no different. Harry's angry heartbroken face stared back at her as she closed her eyes. She could still feel where he had grabbed her arms, where his hand had connected with her face. And she felt this terrible pain inside her, like something had finally broken when she had been forced to confront such an angry and crushed version of Harry, and had been forced to acknowledge that it was all her fault. She knew that that Harry wasn't real, that he would never hit her, never purposely hurt her, but Harry, the real Harry, he could hate her. There was such a large chance that he would hate her when he realized what she had been keeping from him. And that hate would hurt so much more than any physical wound ever could.

Hermione stood up shakily the room was spinning around her, forcing her to grab the bed to steady herself. The dizziness went away a moment later and she grabbed her robe off the foot of her bed and hurried out of the room and down the stairs making her way towards the boys' dormitory. She needed to see him, she needed to hear him say that he didn't hate her, that he was her best friend. She needed to hear him say it.

----------------------------------

Harry awoke to someone gently shaking him. "Harry," the voice came, "Harry, please wake up."

The shaking became a bit more frantic as Harry blinked awake, looking up at the blurry girl hovering over him. "Hermione?"

"Here are your glasses." Hermione said quickly shoving them into Harry's hands. He quickly put them on and looked up at her. She looked nervous and guilty standing there, as though she thought she was doing something wrong by being there, which by Hogwarts rules she probably was, being in the boys' dormitory so late at night.

"Hermione, what are you doing in here? Is something wrong?" He asked.

"I…I had another nightmare." Hermione told him, "And I…I just didn't want to be alone."

"Do you want to sleep in here then? Like you did over the summer?" Harry asked.

"No, that would just start off a bunch of new rumors, Harry. Neither of us needs that." Hermione said shaking her head. "I just thought…Could you come down to the common room with me?"

"Yeah Hermione, no problem." Harry told her standing up. She smiled at him, a look of relief briefly playing on her face before being replaced with a look of unease. She looked scared and small, like she had at the Burrow after the attack. He had hated to see her look like that then and it made him feel even worse now. He had been right; Hermione was far from okay, he just wished that there was something that he could do about it.

Harry followed Hermione down the stairs and into the common room. She sat down quickly on the couch gesturing to the spot beside her. Harry sat down and Hermione instantly scooted closer, her side brushing up against him.

"Hermione what's going on?" Harry asked, looking at her concerned.

"I told you Harry, I had this horrible dream and…"

"Hermione if there's something wrong I can help. You just have to tell me what's wrong; tell me what I need to do to make it better." Harry told her.

"You are doing it." Hermione said softly. "I just need….I need for you to be here right now, Harry. I need to know that no matter what happens, you're not going anywhere."

She was looking at him with pleading eyes, as though something depended on his answer, as though it meant everything to her.

"Of course I'm not going anywhere Hermione." Harry told her. "Why would you…Hermione, what's wrong?"

"I…" She wanted to tell him, she wanted to tell him everything, but she couldn't form the words, she couldn't say it out loud.

"I can't explain it Harry. I wish I could, but I can't. Everything since the attack has just gotten so much worse and I…" Hermione broke off; wiping away tears she didn't remember falling, trying to compose herself. This wasn't what she had wanted to happen. She had just wanted him to make it feel better, for a few moments she wanted it all to feel better.

"Harry, do you remember that night in the kitchen at the Burrow over the holidays? When I ended up crying?" She asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, of course I do." Harry told her quietly.

"You remember how you promised that everything was going to be okay, that soon everything was going to get better?"

"Hermione…"

"You meant that, right? You believe it?" Hermione asked him. "Because so far everything has just seems to have gotten so much worse and I really want to believe that you're right, that it will get better."

"I believe it, Hermione. I promise I do." Harry said, pulling her into a hug. He felt her stiffen for a moment, as though he had done something unexpected, before she moved herself closer to him, burying her face in his neck. He wrapped his arms around her tighter, not sure what else to do. He still wasn't used to Hermione needing him this way; she had always been so strong, she had never seemed as though she was breakable but this year had taught him how fragile she really was.

"Harry?" Hermione asked pulling back from him. She looked so young as she gazed at him, much like the first year that had locked herself in the girls washroom to cry. "Will you stay down here with me the rest of the night? Please Harry, I don't want to be alone."

"Of course I will." Harry told her. "Let me just get a blanket." he said, moving to stand up. Hermione quickly grabbed his hand stopping him.

"No! I mean, I'll just transfigure something." Hermione said quickly, pulling her wand out and pointing it at a piece of parchment someone had left. A moment later the parchment became a large red quilt that reminded Harry of the one he usually used at the Burrow.

Harry quickly grabbed it off the table, draping it over the both of them as Hermione repositioned herself, leaning against Harry's shoulder. Thinking that it would be uncomfortable for her to sleep that way, Harry moved so his arm was behind her and she was resting her head on his chest like she had done at the Burrow. Hermione looked up at him surprised, before smiling at him gratefully. It was a real smile and Harry was happy to see it.

Harry found himself watching her for a while after that. He didn't think she was asleep, but she looked content. It had been a long time since he had seen her look like that and he couldn't help but feel kind of proud that he had been the one to make her feel that way.

--------------------------------

Hermione walked down the hall, shifting her bag to the other shoulder. She had spent most of her day hiding in the library when she wasn't in classes, trying to avoid Harry. Last night he had been so supportive, he had told her all the things that she had wanted to hear and for a little while she really had felt better. She had felt protected, she had felt like somehow they would be okay, no matter what happened they would always be there for each other, Ron as well, and it wouldn't always fix things but it would help.

She hadn't fallen asleep again that night, but Harry had. She had laid there watching the sun rise through the common room window and listening to him breathe and for a few minutes everything had felt right. And then it hadn't. Every fear that she had been having crashed down on her and sent her thoughts spiraling out of control. Yes, things were fine then, but Harry wasn't going to sleep forever. He was going to wake up and when he did, he was going to have questions; he was going to remember her sobbing in his arms begging him to promise that everything was going to get better. And she didn't know what to tell him. She didn't know what she would say to him when he finally did corner her.

Hermione had stayed in the common room for a while, taking comfort in just being there with him but she was gone before he woke up. She had gone upstairs, changed into her uniform and left Gryffindor tower all together. She had gone to the kitchens and grabbed a quick breakfast from Dobby and waited outside until the library had opened. Madam Pince had looked at her oddly when she had found her sitting there, working on her transfiguration essay, but she hadn't said anything. Hermione had been glad because she really hadn't been up to talking to anyone then. She wasn't even up to talking to anyone now. She had left the library two hours later, but only because she had class. When she took her place in between Harry and Ron, she had felt Harry watching her and she had felt the questions that he wasn't asking because Professor McGonagall was there. And she hadn't said anything; she hadn't looked at him at all and it had killed her, but she didn't know what else to do. When class was over, she was the first out of her seat and the first one through the door. The next class she did the exact same thing.

She had sat across from Harry at lunch and Hermione had felt his eyes on her the whole time. She had never felt guiltier. This wasn't Harry's fault, he hadn't done anything wrong, in fact he done everything right, Hermione just didn't know what to tell him now. She couldn't tell him that she was okay, because he already knew that she wasn't. She just hoped he didn't realize how un-okay she was.

Hermione shifted the bag on her shoulder again as she walked down the corridors towards the dungeons. She wished she had the time to go to Gryffindor tower and drop it off. She wished she had the courage to go to Gryffindor and drop it off. But she didn't, so she would just have to bring it with her to Professor Snape's.

She wasn't looking forward to tonight's lesson. She wasn't getting any better at occlumency; she tried, she tried so hard, but she just couldn't get it. She had never been able to keep him out of her mind, not completely. She had mastered the art of showing him what he didn't want to see, she could gain enough control to fire off a spell to break his concentration, eventually she could force him from her mind, but she wasn't able to deny him access to her mind. He always got in and he always saw something.

He had seen far more then Hermione had ever wanted him to see. It was scary but she had come to the realization that Professor Snape, of all people, probably knew more about her than anyone else. It wasn't like Harry and Ron who knew the important things, he didn't know her favorite color, or that she couldn't eat pumpkin pie without thinking of her mother or how she secretly liked it sometimes when she broke the rules with Harry and Ron. He didn't know that she could repeat Hogwarts a History word for word, he didn't know that she felt safest when she was around Harry, and he didn't know that she somehow found herself trusting him more than she did the Headmaster. But he did know that she looked at the bracelet that George had given her every night, he knew that she had tried to get rid of the dark mark on her hip herself and that she had cried for hours after she had failed. Professor Snape knew that she let Viktor kiss her over the summer; he knew that had lied repeatedly to Harry and Ron this year, he knew so many of things that she held close to her heart, so many of the things that she was scared to tell anyone and he hadn't said anything. There were selective memories that he commented on, that he used to mock her with when they were alone, but they weren't the important ones, they weren't the ones that could really hurt her. And that surprised her and it comforted her somehow, it made her feel like he would protect her. That didn't meant that she enjoyed him sifting through her memories, but it did make her feel better about it.

Lost in her thoughts, Hermione missed the last step on the staircase and tumbled to the ground, her bag landing beside her, spilling out its contents. Hermione groaned loudly, before moving to collect her things. At least not everything had fallen out. She gathered some loose parchment and a couple of books, shoving them back in her bag.

"I think you missed something."

Hermione's head whipped around at the sound of Harry's voice. He was standing at the bottom of the steps; he had a confused look upon his face but he wasn't looking at her, he was looking past her.

"Over there, by the statue. It looks like a potion bottle." He said, squinting to see better.

"Oh, I forgot I had that. It's my pain potion," Hermione said quickly grabbing the bottle and putting it back in her bag. "The one that Madame Pomfrey gave me when I hit my head." Hermione quickly explained. It was a lie but he didn't need to know that.

"Oh." Harry said looking down at the floor.

"Umm…Harry, what are you doing down here?" Hermione asked glancing around at the dungeons. This was Slytherin territory and no Gryffindor came down here unless they had too.

"I was hoping to catch you before your…teacher's aide duties with Snape." Harry told her.

"Oh." Hermione said. She had been afraid of that.

"We haven't talked all day Hermione." Harry said. He sounded hurt and she hated that she had done that to him. Sometimes it felt like that was what she was good at, hurting the people she cared about.

"Did I do something wrong last night?" Harry asked, "I mean I know I fell asleep but I—"

"No…You didn't do anything wrong, Harry." Hermione told him quickly. "I just…I just felt so ridiculous. I had a nightmare and I came running to you like a five year old would to their mother. I'm not supposed to be scared of dreams; I shouldn't need to run to you for protection."

"Hermione, I understand better than anyone how scary dreams can be." Harry said stepping towards her. "Trust me; once you dream your Voldemort, everything else pales in comparison."

"I'm sorry." Hermione told him softly. And she was. She was so sorry, for more then he would ever know.

"I'm not mad at you." Harry said, "I get it, trust me I do, I just…Like I said last night, I just want to help."

"I know Harry." Hermione said smiling up at him, "And I appreciate it, more then I can say."

"You know, you never told me what the dream was about." Harry said, his eyes connecting with her own.

"It…" She didn't know what to tell him, what to say when he was looking at her like that. How could she tell him that she had dreamed of him hating her? How could she tell him that she had dreamed of him hitting her, that she had bruises on her arm that shouldn't be there because he had shaken her horribly in her dream? She couldn't tell him that. She could never tell him that.

"It was about what happened over Christmas, wasn't it?" Harry said, "It was about the attack."

"Ron told you about when I fell asleep in the common room, didn't he?" Hermione asked. She wasn't surprised, Ron used to tell her when it was Harry having nightmares it was only to be expected that they would discuss it when it was her.

"Yeah, he did." Harry said softly. "He's just worried. We both are. You know, you've never really talked to us about what happened." He told her, "We heard what you told the Order and me and Ron talked about what happened, but we've never, the two of us have never talked about what happened."

"That's because I don't really want to talk about Harry." Hermione told him, shaking her head. "I don't know if I really _can_ talk about it. I'm trying to get past it, accept that it happened, I'm just not doing it as quickly as I want to be."

That was the truth; she wished she was over it, she was trying so hard to be over it, but she wasn't. She knew she wasn't.

"I guess I get that." Harry said nodding his head.

"Thank you." Hermione told him, taking a step closer to him. He looked so understanding, he was being so supportive of her, and once again she wasn't being honest with him. Once again, she was bending the truth so she wouldn't be forced to tell him everything.

"For what?" Harry asked.

"For…For coming downstairs last night when you didn't have too, for putting up with my tired, crazy rambling, for not being angry at me for avoiding you all day." Hermione said.

"It's really not that big of a deal." Harry said, looking down at his shoes as his face turning red.

Hermione smiled at his discomfort, he always was bad at accepting praise from her, but decided to put him out of his misery. "I should probably get to Professor Snape's classroom." Hermione told him.

"Oh, yeah, of course." Harry said. "I'll walk you the rest of the way."

-----------------------------------

Hermione picked at her dinner, not really tasting anything that she was eating. She wasn't very hungry and if it wasn't expected of her to be at dinner then she would have just gone back to the common room. Of course being alone probably wasn't for the best either; when there was no one watching her, when she let herself relax, she often found herself drifting and she couldn't fall asleep again. She couldn't risk it. She _wouldn't_ risk it.

Hermione's eyes drifted to Professor Snape at the Head Table. She wondered if he or Dumbledore had found anything to help her. She was trying to remain positive but not too hopeful, so she wouldn't be disappointed when things didn't happen as soon as she liked. She refused to believe that they wouldn't be able to stop the dreams. They would find a way. They had too. She just had to ignore the nagging little voice in the back of her head that told her that maybe they wouldn't. That maybe there wasn't anything to be found. She had to ignore the voice in the back of her head that told her that Professor Snape's indifferent behavior the night before had to do with her dreams.

Hermione scanned the rest of the Head Table; Professor McGonagall wasn't there and neither was the Headmaster. She couldn't help but think that they were in Dumbledore's office discussing something to do with the Order. She glanced at Professor Snape to see if he looked worried about something and noticed that he was no longer eating dinner. He was staring across the room instead; his forehead wrinkled in a way that she normally connected with what he looked like when he had seen one of her memories that he didn't completely understand. She followed his gaze to the other side of the room and steel gray eyes connected with her own.

_"Be a good little girl and do as you're told." _

His voice was ringing in her ears and she could no longer see anything but cold gray eyes staring at her behind a silver mask. She could feel his hands on her; feel the leather of his gloves as he pushed her into the center of the circle. They were all around her, pulling at her, taunting her as she shook in their presence.

_"Such a pretty little thing." _

He ran his hand down her face and she wanted to push it away, she wanted to scream, to run far away from there, far away from him, but she couldn't. She couldn't force herself to move, to do anything but stare at those horrible gray eyes, as he mocked her and made her feel like she was nothing.

"Hermione? Hermione are you alright?" Harry's voice broke through the fog.

Hermione gasped and quickly closed her eyes. It wasn't real, she reminded herself, it wasn't real and it wasn't happening it again. Draco Malfoy was not his father and neither of them could hurt her there. She was safe in Hogwarts; she was safe with Harry sitting beside her. There was nothing to be afraid of.

"Hermione you're breathing heavily, are you al—"

"I'm fine." Hermione said. Her voice sounded loud to her own ears and she cringed at the panicky tone it took. "I just—I just remembered something…that I needed to do." She said, quickly standing up from the table. She had barely eaten anything at dinner and she knew that her friends could tell there was something wrong, but she didn't care. She had to get out of there, she had to leave.

"I'll see you guys later." Hermione mumbled, quickly walking away from the table. She could feel her friends' eyes on her as she left, she could feel his eyes on her, and suddenly the room was too small, there were too many people, and she found herself resisting the urge to scream.

Hermione pushed her way past a few straggling second years and ran through the front doors leading outside. It was freezing and pouring rain outside and she was drenched within minutes, with no coat to protect herself, but Hermione didn't care, she welcomed the rain, she welcomed the cold. It was a reminder that she was there in that moment and no longer trapped in the woods outside the Burrow.

In the Great Hall for a few moments, it had felt like it was all happening again, as though it was real. It felt as though it had just happened and she hated it. She just wanted it to be over. She didn't want to think about it anymore. She wanted it not to be able to affect her like this. She wanted to put it behind her and be herself again, not scared, not terrified, not anything but her normal self.

A sob escaped Hermione lips as she found herself beneath the large tree by the lake. She sunk to the ground, as she began to cry harder. She couldn't help but think that she had changed, that there was something different about her now. The old Hermione had been brave and ready to face whatever came at her; the old Hermione would never have had to run out of the Great Hall because she was scared; the old Hermione would have looked Malfoy in the eye until he had been the one to back down. She wasn't supposed to be the kind of girl in need of saving; she was supposed to be strong. She wasn't supposed to be crying her heart out alone in the rain; she was supposed to be inside laughing with her friends.

She felt broken and she just wanted be fixed. She wanted someone to tell her how to fix herself, how to make herself whole again.

--------------------------------

Hermione walked down the entrance hall, rubbing her arms, trying to warm herself up. She had barely noticed the rain when she was crying, but now she could feel how much it was affecting her; her clothes were soaked and she was shivering violently. She should have brought her coat outside with her; she should have brought her wand. She shouldn't have gone out in a rain storm in the first place.

"Miss Granger!" Professor McGonagall's shrill voice of surprise came from behind her. Hermione cringed and turned around. She had really hoped that no one would notice her coming inside.

"Miss Granger, what in Merlin's name is going on here? Why are you—you're—were you _outside_?" She demanded.

"Ye-yes." Hermione said, her teeth chattering loudly in the quiet hallway.

"Why would you go outside in this kind of weather?" Professor McGonagall asked, "And without a cloak. Miss Granger—" She stopped suddenly, as though something had just dawned on her and she stopped looking at Hermione as though she was a small child in need of scolding and more like one who had been separated from their mother in a shopping mall.

"Miss Granger, are you alright?" She asked.

"I-I'm fine." Hermione said quickly, "Just a little cold." She was soaked and freezing and she just wanted to go upstairs and change. She didn't want to have to explain herself, she hadn't done anything wrong, it was before curfew and the sun was just setting she was allowed to be outside, no matter how bad of an idea it was.

The doors to the Great Hall opened behind Professor McGonagall and Hermione saw the Headmaster emerge, his purple robes standing out in the dark hallway.

"Ah, Minerva, Miss Granger, what a pleasant surprise," He said, walking up to join them. "And apparently a watery one at that. What happened, Miss Granger?"

"I'm fine, I was ju-just…I thought I left a library book outside and I was afraid it would get ruined in the rain, so I went out to look for it." Hermione lied quickly. It was what she had planned to tell Harry and Ron when they inevitably asked her where she had been.

"A library book?" Professor McGonagall repeated, clearly not believing her.

"Yes, but I could-couldn't find it. I must have left it somewhere else." She told them.

"I'm sure you'll find it soon," Dumbledore said with a smile, "But for now I think you should go back to your common room." He waved his wand and Hermione's clothes dried instantly. "And sit in front of the fire perhaps."

"Thank you, Headmaster. That sounds like a good idea." Hermione said, turning to go down the hall.

"Albus you can't just let her go." She heard Professor McGonagall say behind her. "She was outside in a winter rain storm, that isn't—something might be _wrong_."

"Of course, you're right as usual Minerva." She could practically hear his eyes twinkling behind her as he talked to Professor McGonagall. "Miss Granger?" Dumbledore called a moment later.

"Yes, Headmaster?" Hermione said reluctantly turning around.

"If you feel any side effects of your time spent out in the rain, make sure that you see Madame Pomfrey." He told her, "A cold will put you behind in your studies."

"Of course, Professor Dumbledore, I wouldn't want that to happen." She told him. She smiled at her teachers, ignoring the upset look on Professor McGonagall's face, and turned back around.

It was one time that she was happy that he had decided to play oblivious. She didn't want to have to answer any questions. She was having a hard enough time keeping it all together as it was. She had pulled herself together the best she could but she knew if they asked the wrong questions, she would crumble right in front of them.

---------------

"That was a fine effort, Hermione." Remus said handing her back her wand.

"It's alright Remus; you don't have to lie to me." Hermione told him, "I know I'm horrible at this."

"Hermione that's not true—"

"Remus we've been at this for weeks and I've won two duels, one because you let me and the other because Professor McGonagall walked in and you were distracted." Hermione said.

"Hermione you really shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Dueling and defensive magic is very difficult to learn and what I'm teaching you is far beyond the sixth year level, it much more like what they teach in the Auror Academy, which students study at for two years. No one expects you to pick this up over night." Remus explained. "And might I add that dueling isn't the only thing that we've been working on and you're getting very good at sensing magic."

He smiled at her and Hermione forced herself to smile back. She knew learning to defend herself was important, she knew how important it would be the next time Death Eaters decided to show up. But it was just so hard. Everything was coming at her so fast and she didn't have time to think, to react. And she had to pretend that it didn't hurt when a spell hit her in the same place she had been thrown into a cabinet, had to pretend that she didn't feel unsteady on her feet because she hadn't slept in days, that she didn't wish she was anywhere else. With so much of her energy focused on pretending that she was alright, she was having difficulties focusing on dueling, on being able to win.

"Why don't we try something different for the rest of the time?" Remus suggested. "We've already established that you're good at sensing magic, you always been able to find me, so let's take it to the next level."

"The next level?" Hermione repeated slowly. She wasn't sure she liked the idea of a next level or any level beyond that.

"Yes, you will wear the blind fold—"

Hermione stifled a groan, as he held the offensive piece of red material up again. While she had grown used to it, she never liked wearing the blindfold and loss of control it forced upon her. She wished desperately there was another way to do this.

"—and I will fire a spell at you as you try to sense the magic and stop it before it reaches you." Remus continued.

"_What_?"

"Now, Hermione I know how that sounds but I promise this will work. I'll start off with something harmless, like a tickling charm, cast it silently and you will try to deflect it before it hits you. We've talked about sensing magical auras, magical places, magic itself should be much easier to detect because it's in a much purer form."

"Alright." Hermione said. She had been trying to sound hopeful but it came out rather unsure.

"Let's try it without the blindfold first." He suggested, "You can even cast a shielding charm so you know the charm won't hit you. I just want you to pay attention, don't think about what the spell will do if it will hit you, don't think about it coming towards you, just think about the area around you and try to detect a difference as the spell comes closer."

"Alright." Hermione said, taking a deep breath and planting her feet firmly on the ground.

"Ready?" Remus asked taking his place across from her.

"Yes." Hermione said quickly casting a shield charm. She took a deep breath and tried to focus on the area around her like Remus had told her too. She could detect a hint of magic, similar to what she felt whenever she discovered Remus, and she imagined that it was her shield. A moment late Remus raised his wand and Hermione watched as a beam of purple light shot from his wand, directly at her. She closed her eyes at the sight of it, still uncomfortable with spells being thrown at her, but she could still feel it coming. Or at least she thought she could. She could sense something in the air; she could feel it pulsing as it came closer to her. She opened her eyes just in time to watch it connect with her shield and hit the opposite side of the room.

"How'd you do?" Remus asked.

"I think I could sense it." Hermione said. "It was like how I can tell where you are, where I get the feeling I'm being watched by something right in front of me, but it was different, this time it was like I could feel it moving, I could feel it getting closer to me."

"That sounds exactly right, Hermione." Remus said smiling at her. "Now let's try it with the blindfold and without the shield charm."

-------------------------------------

"I think that's enough for right now." Remus told her. "You did really well, Hermione."

"Thanks." Hermione said quickly taking off the blindfold. It had taken her a while to get the timing down, but she had managed to block most of his spells the last few times they had gone. It wasn't easy, but it hadn't been as hard as she thought it would be and it made her feel a little more confident in her skills. She was far from mastering her dueling skills, but this she could do. She could use this skill to help protect her and that gave her comfort that she hadn't been aware she needed.

"Next time we'll work on a different, stronger spell." He told her. "But for tonight that's all we're going to be doing."

"But we still have another half an hour." Hermione said glancing up at the clock. It was unusual for them to finish before the allotted time was over, normally they didn't finish until after and Remus had to escort her back to the common room because it was past curfew.

"I know, but the Headmaster has requested that I end tonight's lesson early and that we meet with him and Professor Snape in his office." Remus said.

"Oh. Did he say what it was about?" Hermione asked.

"He…I believe he has something to request of you. I'm sorry but I don't know much more than that." He told her, quickly opening the door and gesturing for her to come along.

He appeared uncomfortable with her question and Hermione didn't push him. She had an idea what this meeting might be about and she had to fight back the uncharacteristic urge to giggle with excitement. They had finally found something to help her; they had finally found something that might actually work to stop her dreams. She really didn't care what it was at this point. She didn't care if it was risky or dangerous, which seemed rather likely from Remus's behavior, she just wanted it to be over. She wanted to go to bed and not worry about what would happen. She would do whatever she had to in order to do that.

The Headmaster was waiting for them at the gargoyle when they arrived. "Hello Remus, Miss Granger." He said smiling at them both. "I'm sorry to have to cut your lesson off early, tonight."

"It's alright, I don't mind." Hermione told him following him through the passage way and up the stairs, Remus coming behind her.

"How are your defense lessons coming?" Dumbledore asked as they entered his office. Professor Snape was already there, leaning against the fireplace. He didn't look at them as they entered but Hermione could see his posture change when they entered making him look taller.

"Alright, I think." Hermione told him. She and Remus were directed to the two seats in front of the Headmaster's desk and she watched as the Headmaster took his own seat. Professor Snape didn't sit down, but he did move so that he could see them all from his position.

"The lessons are going quite well." Remus agreed, nodding stiffly at the Headmaster.

"That's good to hear." Dumbledore said. A loud silence followed his comment as Hermione waited for one of the men watching her to start talking. She was trying to be patient but she was rather anxious about what they were going to tell her.

"Miss Granger, we need to speak with you about something of grave importance." Professor Dumbledore told her. "I trust that nothing said here tonight will be discussed outside these walls."

"Of course, Headmaster." Hermione said nodding her head solemnly. She was trying very hard not to smile at the thought of her dreams being over. She knew that just because they had found something didn't mean it would work. She knew that even if they had found something, it might take weeks before it would actually be prepared if it was a potion or something of that nature. But the idea of it, the idea that there really was something out there that could help her made her feel so much better. It gave her hope that she hadn't had in weeks.

"Miss Granger you're well aware of Professor Snape's position in the Order, in his position in the Death Eaters Inner Circle." Dumbledore began, "At the beginning of the summer he was called by Voldemort and given a mission."

"A mission?" Hermione repeated.

"Professor Snape was given the task of getting closer to you, Miss Granger, of obtaining your trust and learning more about you." He explained.

She had been wrong. She shouldn't be surprised; this wasn't the first time that she had been wrong. In fact, lately she had been making a habit of it. So it shouldn't surprise her now that she was wrong. She had been presumptuous and hadn't been thinking clearly at all, it was her own fault that she was feeling badly now. She had gotten her hopes up and there was no one to blame but herself.

"We have been able to make sure that Professor Snape has done just that." Dumbledore continued, "I'm sure that if you think about it, you'll realize that you have spent more time with Professor Snape this year, then in years past."

"Yes, I can." Hermione said quietly. Suddenly she felt very small and very foolish. She had never thought Professor Snape liked her, but she had thought…she had thought that after everything that had happened this past year, his feelings about her had changed. That he may not like her, but that he didn't hate her anymore either. She couldn't help but feel like she had been betrayed somehow now that she knew that it was never true, that it had all just been an act. He didn't care what happened to her, he never had, he had just needed her to believe that he did.

"Why are you telling me this now? Why not at the beginning of the year?" Hermione asked. Professor Snape was standing stiffly by the window, not looking at her and he wished that he would stop. The way that he wasn't looking at her was somehow worse than him staring.

"We needed you to behave naturally around Professor Snape, for your actions to be as true as possible." Dumbledore told her, "It was best that you didn't know what was going on, so that you didn't behave strangely around him."

"But something's changed." Hermione said quietly.

"Yes, something has changed." Dumbledore said, his tone turning grave. "Tom is getting impatient. He wants proof that Severus is making progress, something to show him how you feel about him. We need him to believe that you and Professor Snape have formed some sort of a relationship, that you have put your trust in him, that things are going the way he wants. If he believes this then he will be willing to confide more information in Severus, he will hopefully tell him what his plans are for you. This information is very important and very necessary, as I'm sure you can see."

Hermione looked away from Dumbledore and at the portrait on the wall next to her. The man was staring at her too, looking at her as though he was trying to determine what made her so special, what made her so different that Voldemort wanted her. Why she was worthy of such elaborate schemes. She wanted to know too.

"Miss Granger?"

"What exactly do you want me to do?" Hermione asked.

"Draco Malfoy has been instructed to keep an eye on you." Dumbledore told her. "He knows that you have your teacher aid duties with Professor Snape on Friday and we have good reason to believe that he will follow you there to see if he can gather any information. We want you to make sure that he gets what he's looking for."

--------------------------------

Hermione wasn't quite sure how she made it from the Headmaster's office to the portrait of the Fat Lady; she found herself unable to remember much of the trip. Her mind was jumbled trying to sort out everything that she had just learned from what she had believed was the truth. She wasn't sure whether she should be angry at Professor Snape for pretending to be something that he wasn't or angry at Professor Dumbledore for arranging for it.

She wished that the Headmaster had never told her. She wished that they had just let her keep believing the lie. She had trusted Professor Snape; she had gone to him when she needed help. He knew more about what was going on with her then than Harry, than Ron. And it had all just been an act, a job to keep both of his masters happy. Hermione had felt such hope when she had entered the Headmaster's office, she had believed that everything was going to get better and then, just like her dream about Sirius, just like that night in the library, every hope she had was ripped away. She had trusted Professor Snape, more than Dumbledore, and now she didn't have much faith in either of them. She had been foolish, so very foolish and now all she felt was hurt and alone.

"Well dearie, do you plan to just stand there all night or are you going to give me the password?" The Fat Lady asked her.

"Oh," Hermione said softly, "I….umm, Oddsbodkins."

The portrait swung open and Hermione climbed through quickly. The common-room was surprisingly deserted, only a few students from the upper classes were scattered about the room, most of which were doing homework. She spotted Harry by the fire and hurried over taking a seat on the couch he was leaning against.

"What are you working on?" Hermione asked looking over the papers he had spread out around him.

"My potions essay," He told her, "But I really have no idea what I'm doing. I only understood about half of what the textbook is saying and even less of what Snape was talking about when he was lecturing us. Do you think I can look over your essay? Maybe I'll understand it better if you're the one explaining it."

"I…I haven't actually written my essay yet," Hermione told him quietly.

"You haven't written it?" Harry asked surprised. Hermione always had her essays written before he even attempted to write his. She was always weeks ahead in all of her classes.

"No, I've been a little distracted." Hermione said still not meeting his eyes. "I have all my research for it though, if you want to look over that."

"No, that's okay." Harry said still looking at her oddly. "Are you okay, Hermione? You look upset."

"No, I'm fine, just a bit tired." Hermione said forcing herself to smile at him.

Harry didn't look convinced but he turned back to his work, lifting up his textbook to reread it again. Hermione sat there watching him a while, her thoughts swirling in her head. Dumbledore kept asking these things of her, acting like none of it really affected her, and it was really starting to get to her. She was tired of keeping things from Harry, she was tired of having to pretend that everything was fine, she was just so tired.

"Harry?" Hermione asked unable to stop herself, "When Dumbledore called you into his office, without the rest of us when we got back to Hogwarts, what did he want to talk to you about?"

"Same as you, he just wanted to make sure that I was alright." Harry told her, "He thought that I might be unwilling to answer truthfully in front of everyone who was in the room."

"That was all?" Hermione asked.

"I think so, why?" Harry asked her.

"It's just…Last year when you said that Dumbledore had told you about the prophecy, when he told you what it meant and what's expected of you, you made it seem like things were going to change, but have they? Has he made any plans with you? Has he...has he asked you to do anything?"

"Well I don't know." Harry said looking at her oddly. "We've talked several times; he calls me into his office to make sure I'm okay a lot, usually after something's happened."

Hermione had noticed that whenever she read about an attack in the papers Harry would go off for hours, she had just never known where. "But no lessons?" Hermione asked.

"You mean like occlumency lessons?" He asked.

"No I…I don't know what I mean." Hermione said softly.

"He's been more honest this year, if that's what you mean. He doesn't tell me everything, I know that." He said looking away from her, "But he does tell me more, he answers my questions. I think he's starting to see me as more than just a kid."

"I'm glad Harry." She told him forcing a smile. Honestly, she wasn't so sure that he was right. It seemed more like he was just placating Harry so he would think that he was a part of the Order, when really he was just as much of an unknowing pawn as the rest of them. What she didn't understand was why. If they really expected Harry to be the savior of the wizarding world, shouldn't they be doing something? Shouldn't he be beside her in self-defense classes, shouldn't he be training? Harry was a very powerful wizard, Hermione was well aware of that, but they couldn't depend on that power alone. So why wasn't Dumbledore doing anything? Why was he asking things of her but not Harry?

"Hermione, what made you ask that?" Harry asked looking up at her.

"I just…After I helped Remus in his class tonight, Professor Dumbledore had me come down to his office." Hermione explained, "It just got me thinking."

"Why'd he want see you?"

"The same as last time," Hermione lied, "How are doing? How are you feeling? They made sure my hip hadn't been hurting me. It wasn't anything important."

He didn't need to know the truth. He didn't to know how right he and Ron had been about Professor Snape. He didn't need to know just how betrayed and destroyed she felt right now.

He didn't need to know about the burden Dumbledore had put on her shoulders. At least not yet.

---------------------------------

His hands caressed her, finger trailing across her jaw and down to her neck. She didn't know who he was, but his body radiated feelings of trust and care more intensely then she had every felt before and she felt no need to step away from him.

"_Hermione" _

Her eyes fluttered shut, as his hands ran up and down her side, encircling her waist. It didn't hurt when he touched her; there was no pain from the bruises along her side as his hands held her close to him. It was the first time in a long time that nothing hurt, that she didn't have to pretend that she didn't ache. She couldn't help but think that he had something to do with that.

"_You're in such pain, Hermione." _The whispered voice caressed her as much as the hands did, washing over her, making her to shiver. "_You hold so much inside. You keep your secrets so close to your heart. You don't have to do that, not with me." _

One hand released her waist as the other hand tightened around it. She felt him begin to stroke her cheek gently. She found herself leaning into his hand, wanting to tell him, tell this voice, everything. But she couldn't do that, he could be anyone, he could tell anyone.

She began to pull away, but he moved, cupping her cheeks in both of his gloved hands. "_My dear, sweet Hermione, you need not fear me. I would never abuse your trust in me, not like others have."_

"Others?" Hermione asked. He had removed one of his hands and Hermione found herself arching up trying to meet it. When he touched her, she felt a comfort that she hadn't felt for a long time, that she hadn't felt since she forced Harry to leave Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's bedroom. She longed to feel like that again. She wanted to feel protected and loved, and he made her feel like that. He made her feel like she hadn't in so long.

A deep chuckle met her as a response. It was warm and familiar, though she could not place where she had heard it before. "_You know of what I speak. Too much has been asked of you already, far too much. I would not ask that of you." _

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked confused.

"_You will see, Hermione, you will see. I can offer you more then you could ever imagine. You just have to trust me first." _

Hermione jerked awake, quickly taking in the room around her. It was dark but the fire was still burning and she could see Harry asleep in an armchair across from her. There was a blanket thrown over her and she supposed she had him to thank for that. She wished that he hadn't let her sleep though, that he had woken her up and told her to go up to her dormitory.

She felt confused and even worse than before. In her dream she had felt content and almost happy, as though she could tell him anything and everything and somehow everything would be alright. And then it was gone, all the contentment, all the protection and comfort that she felt just disappeared and everything hurt so much more. Somehow, this dream seemed so much worse than all the others. Instead of pain, instead of betrayal and horror, she was faced with what she craved for, what she so desperately wanted, only to realize that none of it was real, that she couldn't have it. Yes, that hurt so much worse.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ _**Thank you so much for all the reviews you guys have sent me, I'm really glad that you guys have enjoy the story so much! As always I apologize for the grammar and spelling errors. **_

_**Originally this chapter was supposed to be longer, but it got to be fifty pages so I split into two chapters, and since it's been so long for an update I'm posting them both at the same time. **_


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Breaking Point

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Chapter Thirteen:

_**Breaking Point**_

_And this is how it looks_

_When I am standing on the edge_

_This is how I break apart_

_When I finally hit the ground_

_This is how it hurts_

_When I pretend I don't feel any pain_

_This is how I disappear_

_When I throw myself away_

_**Breathe Into Me by Red**_

_**--**_

"Will you slow down Hermione?" Harry asked, hurrying to keep up with his friend. When she had asked them to come down with her to the dungeons, he hadn't expected it to mean that they would be practically running to get there. With all the time Hermione spent in the library, her nose buried in a book, he didn't think that she should be as athletic as she was.

"Yeah Hermione, you almost seem like you're in a hurry to go spend hours with Snape, like it's exciting or something." Ron said with a snort.

"He really isn't as bad as you think he is." Hermione told them, slowing down. She seemed uneasy as Harry caught up to her. She kept looking over her shoulder, as if she was expecting someone else to appear behind them and she never looked at him or Ron directly.

"Not this again!" Ron groaned, "Look, Hermione, I know Snape's a teacher and that automatically makes him great in your books but—"

"It's not just that he's a teacher and I think you should respect him for that, though that is true, I just…He's been rather nice to me this year." Hermione said quietly.

"Snape? Nice?" Harry scoffed.

"Well not in an ordinary way," Hermione said shaking her head, "I mean he is still Severus, he's just—"

"SEVERUS!" Ron's voice echoed off the walls, "Did you just call him by his first name?!"

Hermione looked anxiously around them, as if she was trying to see if someone had heard them, before quickly clamping her hand over Ron's mouth, stopping him from saying anything more. "Calm down, Ron." She told him quietly. "It was just…it was just an accident."

"An _**accident**_?" Harry repeated, "An accident is calling Professor Sprout Professor Sinistra, not calling Snape of all people by his first name."

"I call Professor Lupin by his first name all the time and you don't seem to have a problem with it." Hermione said looking down at the floor.

"That's because there's a massive difference between the two of them, Hermione." Harry said.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure Lupin would hate the comparison." Ron told her. "I mean its _**Snape**_, Hermione. Snape."

He said his name liked it explained everything. Like hearing it would suddenly make her change her mind about him, like it would snap her out of whatever spell she was under. But it didn't. Hermione knew all too well who Professor Snape was, and saying his name, reconfirming just who he was didn't change anything.

"I know, I just…He…" Hermione stumbled over her words, as if she was unsure of what to tell them.

"Hermione we just want an explanation. I mean, I know you've never exactly felt like me and Ron about him but you never liked him either." Harry told her, "Is this about…the lessons? Has something happened that you haven't told us? Did he _do_ something?"

"No, I…I have to get to the Potion's lab," Hermione said. She suddenly sounded tired to Harry, like she didn't want to have to talk about Professor Snape, like she didn't want to be there at all.

"We'll talk about it later, I promise we will, I just need…I just need to go." She sent Harry a pleading look, her eyes begging for him to let this go for right now. For him to please just do what she asked.

Harry nodded his head, ignoring Ron's protests. He couldn't tell her no when she was looking at him like that, no matter how much he wanted to tell her no, that he wanted to talk about it right then, that he never wanted her to call him by his first name again. He wanted to shout at her, tell her all of the reason that she shouldn't trust Snape, but he couldn't. Not when she looked at him like that, not when she looked so tired, sounded so small.

"Thank you." Hermione said, sending them both a small smile before turning around and walking the rest of the way down the hall to Professor Snape's classroom. She turned and flashed them another shaky smile before she went inside, closing the door behind her.

He didn't know why, but suddenly Harry found himself rather jealous of Professor Snape.

-----------------------------

Hermione quickly shut the door behind her, letting the smile fall from her face. She wished she hadn't had to do that. Things were hard enough as it was, without adding anything more to strain her relationship with her friends. She had said his name and they looked so horrified and betrayed. They had never liked Professor Snape, they had never really had a reason too, and now suddenly Hermione was telling them how wonderful he was, using his first name; she could only imagine what they were thinking. And the worst part of it was that it was all lies. Everything thing she had told them, everything she had been saying about him all year, it was all lies, empty words that left a bitter taste in her mouth, and they believed them, she had believed them just days ago. That hurt too. Hurt more than she would have thought.

"Miss Granger." Professor Snape's voice pulled her out of her thoughts and Hermione looked up to see him standing in front of her. "I trust everything went as planned."

"I said everything that I was supposed to." Hermione told him, "And I saw Malfoy, he was definitely following us. He heard everything."

"Good." He said. "Did Potter and Weasley have questions?"

"A lot of them actually," Hermione said, "I told them that we'd talk about it later."

"And I'm sure you remember what the Headmaster would like you to tell them."

"Don't worry, Professor," Hermione said, her voice taking a bitter tone. "I've had more than adequate practice lying to my friends."

"Then let's begin our lesson for this week." Professor Snape said, sweeping away and taking his normal place in the classroom.

Hermione followed him slowly, moving to stand across from him like she always did. It seemed different this time though, she was standing in the exact spot she had every other time she had been to Occlumency lessons, but it felt unfamiliar and cold. It was like she was back at her first lesson, scared and confused and not sure what to expect of Professor Snape. And she just wanted to leave, she just wanted to go back to Gryffindor tower, to go back to Harry and Ron and shout at them that she was sorry, that she was so sorry for everything. She wanted to go to her dorm and go to sleep, for a few hours be able to leave everything behind. She wanted to be somewhere where she could forget about her problems, where everything was fine for just a few minutes. And that place was not in the dungeons, it was not with Professor Snape; it was far away from them both.

_"Legilimens!" _

The room swam before her, until Hermione was back in the Headmaster's office, sitting in front of him. He was asking her how she was doing, and she knew from the look in his eyes what he wanted her to say…. Harry was telling her that she was wrong, that he thought that Crookshanks had eaten Scabbers, that there was proof that he had. He had taken Ron's side again, he always took Ron's side and Ron always took his. She wanted someone to take her side for a change. "Okay, side with Ron, I knew you would." She shouted at him, "First the Firebolt, now Scabbers, everything's my fault, isn't it! Just leave me alone, Harry, I've got a lot of work to do."….Professor Snape draped his cloak over her shoulders and she smiled hesitantly up at him. "Thank you, professor." She told him. "Next time you should wear more clothing."….Ginny walked right past her, knocking into her shoulder, but acknowledging her in no other way. She hadn't even asked her about it, she hadn't given her a chance to explain what had happened with George…. Harry was grabbing at her, shaking her, his nails digging into her skin. "When you tell me that I'm your best friend, does that mean anything to you at all?" She glanced behind him and saw Professor Dumbledore smiling, acting as though nothing was happening at all….Malfoy pulled her to his chest and Hermione gasped loudly. "Malfoy, what are you doing?" She said struggling to escape his grasp. "Just what I was wondering, Miss Granger." Professor Snape's voice came. She looked behind Malfoy and saw him standing there, in all his intimidating glory, and she had never been happier to see him.

Professor Snape's presence disappeared from her mind and Hermione collapsed to the floor, her knees hitting the ground painfully. She clutched her head, making no move to get up or try again.

"That was pathetic, Miss Granger. You barely tried at all."

"I _was_ trying." Hermione said. It sounded unconvincing even to her own ears, but it was the truth. She had been trying, she knew how important this was, she just couldn't do it. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't do it.

"You barely fought me at all; I had access to everything you did not want me to see." Professor Snape told her."We have been doing this for months and you choose now, when these lessons are more important than ever, to start to fail!"

Hermione didn't say anything; she just stared at the floor. She didn't want to have to deal with this. She wasn't equipped to deal with it. He didn't care about her, about what happened to her.

"Miss Granger, I am speaking with you, stand up!" He said forcefully grabbing her arm and pulling her to her feet, making Hermione cry out in pain. He had grabbed her where dream Harry had grabbed her, where she still had bruises from his rough grip.

Professor Snape quickly dropped her arm, looking over her carefully. "You're hurt." He said.

"I'm fine." Hermione said, holding her arm to her chest. "You just startled me, is all."

"Miss Granger I saw—If Potter has hurt you, you must tell me." Professor Snape said.

"Harry? Harry hasn't done anything." Hermione told him, shaking her head.

"I saw—"

"You saw a dream. A nightmare. That was all." Hermione told him, "It wasn't real and I'm fine."

"Fine?" He repeated, looking down at her arm still cradled to her chest. Hermione followed his gaze and quickly dropped her arm.

"Let me see your arm." Professor Snape said.

"What?"

"Let me see your arm." He told her, "If it was just a dream and you are fine, then you should have no problem showing it to me."

Hermione stared up at him defiantly. She wanted to tell him no. She wanted to tell him that it wasn't any of his business. That she didn't have to do things just because he told her too. But she didn't, because she was Hermione Granger, and Hermione Granger didn't talk back to teachers, didn't question them. Especially ones like Professor Snape, who she had taken to defending, who she was supposed to trust.

Instead she wrenched up her sleeve, extending her arm to show him unblemished skin, her bruises covered by her glamour charm. "See professor, nothing's there." Hermione said, "It was just a dream, and dreams can't hurt you."

The lie was familiar, she had said it to herself so many times, and when she looked up at him she could tell that he believed her and she hated him a little bit more because of it.

-----------------------------

The Slytherin table was already whispering when Hermione walked into the Great Hall for breakfast, but when they saw her the change was evident. Eyes flashed between her and the Head table, as they continued whispering loudly. She couldn't make out what they were saying and she hoped no one else could either. She wanted to think that they weren't talking about her, that this was just some strange coincidence, but she knew it wasn't by the way Draco Malfoy was looking at her. He looked angry and oddly pleased with himself at the same time. She could only imagine what he had told them, what type of stories he had come up with. Suddenly the idea of eating didn't seem very appealing to her.

Dumbledore had requested that she do this, and she had done it because he said it was important, because it could help her figure out what they wanted her for, why they wanted her. And she wanted to know that, she wanted desperately to know that. But she hadn't thought that Malfoy would tell anyone about what he had overheard. She didn't think that anyone else would find out about it.

"I wonder what all the commotions about at the Slytherins table." Ginny said, appearing next to Hermione as she sat down.

"I—I don't know." Hermione said quietly.

"They keep looking up at the Head Table." Neville said, "I think it's because Professor Snape's not there."

"That's strange." Ginny said, "He's always here for breakfast."

Hermione nodded her head in agreement and reached for a piece of toast. She wasn't sure she was going to be able to eat much more than that. It was only a matter of time before they knew what the Slytherins were talking about, until the entire school was talking about how Professor Snape had found himself a new favorite student in the most unlikely candidate. She wasn't prepared for that. She wasn't sure that she could handle it.

Before when everyone had been whispering, it had been mostly about Professor Snape and what had happened to make him change his behavior, this time it was going to be so much more about her and what she had done to make him change his behavior. And she was sure that was the way that Malfoy had explained it to them. _She_ had done something. It was her fault.

It wasn't just the Slytherins watching her either; Harry and Ron kept looking at her as though they expected her to explain everything to them right there in the Great Hall, where anywhere could overhear them. No, she could wait for that conversation.

"You know, I'm not really that hungry." Hermione said, "I think that I'm going to go to the library and get some studying done."

"Hermione, you have to eat something." Ginny told her, reminding Hermione remarkably of Mrs. Weasley when she told her she was too thin.

"I'll have a muffin on my way." She said quickly grabbing one off the table, "And I'll see you all later."

She was gone before Harry or Ron had a chance to protest or to try to come with her.

----------------------------------

Hermione sat at her table, staring blankly at the book in front of her. She hadn't opened it since she had sat down, she had just stared at it, hoping that somehow it would hold the answers to all of her questions, hoping that somehow it would make her feel better. Books had always been her escape, the one place she could lose herself and find the answers she was looking for. But now, they didn't have the answers, they couldn't help her, and suddenly they didn't look so wonderful. Suddenly they seemed empty, like nothing more than words arranged on a page. And she hated that feeling.

"Hermione?"

Her head jerked up at the sound of her name and she saw Harry and Ron standing in front of her.

"You know it's usually helpful if you open the book." Ron told her, "Unless I've been doing it wrong all these years."

"Yeah, I just zoned out I guess." Hermione said, taking the book off her lap and putting it on her table. "Uhh…What are you guys doing here? I thought you had something against doing schoolwork on Saturdays."

"We're actually here because we wanted to talk to you," Harry told her, looking at her pointedly.

"You know, about last night." Ron said. His voice held an angry tone and he looked tense, like he wanted to ask her questions that he wasn't entirely sure he wanted the answers for.

"Oh…that makes sense." Hermione said.

"You seemed surprised." Harry told her.

"I…I kind of forgot about it." Hermione said shaking her head, "Like I said, I completely spaced out."

"Are you okay, Hermione?" Harry asked her.

"Yeah, I'm fine I…We shouldn't talk about it here," Hermione said standing up, "Too many people might overhear. Let's go back to the Muggle Fiction section; hardly anyone ever goes back there."

Hermione gave them a quick smile before turning and heading towards the opposite end of the library. She heard Ron mutter that he didn't know that the library had a muggle fiction section, as they followed behind her. She weaved in and out of a couple bookshelves, making sure that no one was in the back of the library wanting to be left alone themselves, before she stopped.

"Here's as good a place as any." Hermione said, turning around to finally look at them. She had taken a few more twists and turns then necessary, to prolong the walk.

"It is." Harry said. He didn't look angry like Ron did, just confused and concerned, and she was glad. She couldn't have dealt with it if they were both angry with her.

"You told us that you'd explain what happened last night." Ron said.

"I know I did." Hermione said quietly. She had promised them an explanation and she had promised Dumbledore that she wouldn't tell them the real one.

"Well, we're waiting." Ron said.

"I just…I…You have to promise not to tell anyone." She told them. "You can't tell Ginny, or Remus and especially Dumbledore. No one's supposed to know."

"No one's supposed to know _what_?" Harry asked, taking a step closer to her.

"When Dumbledore asked me to come to his office Monday, he asked me to do it." Hermione said quietly. "Ma-Malfoy was following us, following _me_, and Dumbledore knew that he'd be there to overhear our conversation. He _wanted_ him to overhear it."

"Why would he do that?" Harry asked.

"He didn't say." Hermione said looking down at her feet. "He just said…He said that it was important that I do it."

She didn't want to tell them everything. She didn't want to have to tell them that they were right, that Professor Snape had been playing her all year and that she had believed him. She didn't think that they would be able to understand why she was upset. The concept of actually trusting Professor Snape was completely foreign to them both and she didn't want to have to try to explain it. But she couldn't lie to them again. She couldn't have another big lie on her conscience. Not about this, not when she hated the situation more than they ever would. She needed them to be on her side about this. She needed them to know _one_ of her secrets because she couldn't tell them all of them.

"But that's it then? You're not some secret Snape fan, you were just doing what Dumbledore asked you?" Ron asked.

"I…I wasn't lying when I said that he was nicer to me this year than he's been before but…he's still Professor Snape." Hermione said, "He doesn't like me and…after having him in my head, after _everything_ that's happened, I can honestly say that I don't like him very much either."

--------------------------

Ron left the library rather quickly after she convinced him that there wasn't anything else that he needed to know. He had claimed that it felt unnatural to be in the library on a weekend and went to find Seamus to go flying. Harry stuck it out with her longer, asking Hermione to help him with his potions essay and convincing her to let him borrow her transfiguration notes to help him study for the test on Monday. It felt normal and familiar to Hermione, like they were just two students trying to make it through Hogwarts with nothing else to worry about. It made her feel more like herself than she had for a long time. Harry somehow made the library seem less cold, made everything make a little more sense, and for a little while she felt the solace she had been searching for.

"Thanks for looking over my essay, Hermione." Harry said picking his bag up off the floor. "I still have no clue what Golpalott was talking about, but at least I have the facts memorized."

"I'd try to explain to you again, but I think it would just make both of our heads hurt." Hermione said, lifting her own books into her arms. She had forgotten to bring her own bag and was starting to regret it.

"You explained it pretty well earlier," Harry told her taking a couple books off her stack and heading out of the library, Hermione following closely behind him. "I mean I understood everything that you said, I just don't understand what you were talking about."

"That makes absolutely no sense, Harry." Hermione said with a laugh. It felt good to laugh. It felt good to be normal. She missed this, she missed it more than she realized. She wished that it could always be like this, just her and Harry talking and laughing. No secrets, no lies, no Voldemort or Death Eaters hovering off in the distance.

They turned the corner to go down the next corridor and Hermione found herself colliding with Pansy Parkinson, her books and papers were knocked out of her hands and onto the floor. Hermione couldn't suppress a sigh at the sight of her things sprawled at the feet of the group of Slytherins. This just wasn't what she wanted to deal with right now, not when she had been feeling happy.

Rolling her eyes at the group and the superior look they were all giving her, Hermione bent down to collect her things. It really wasn't that much, just a few books and her notes and essay…

"Give me that, Pansy." Hermione said as she watched the girl pick her potions essay up off the ground as though it were her own.

"I don't know Granger, I think maybe I'll keep it, use it to up my potion's grade a little." Pansy said smiling down at her. It was a hideous smile, full of malice and dislike Hermione didn't think she deserved from a girl she barely knew. "I mean, it's not like all of us can depend on your methods of getting good grades."

"You mean actually working for your grades," Harry said offering Hermione his hand to pull her up, "Not just depending on Snape's favoritism."

The group of Slytherin broke into laugher, looking between them both as they stood there. Hermione felt like she was missing something. She was well aware that they knew what she had said the night before, that Professor Snape was supposed to have changed his opinion about her, but this seemed different somehow.

"I think Snape favors Granger here a bit more than the rest of us." Blaise said looking Hermione up and down. "Teacher's pet takes on a whole new meaning with her."

"What are talking about?" Hermione asked.

"As if you don't know." Blaise said.

"If this is about the fact that Snape doesn't hate Hermione quite as much as he does the rest of us, that's old news." Harry said taking a step in front of Hermione. He didn't like the way they were looking at her. "My guess is that he realized what failures he had in his own house and decided to start looking elsewhere for a good student. Hermione here, unlike all of you, actually knows how to crack a book."

"Come on, Hermione, let's go." He grabbed the potions essay out of Pansy's hand and steered Hermione around the Slytherins. They had barely made it two feet before they were stopped by Pansy's voice.

"How'd you do it?" She called.

"How did I do what?" Hermione asked turning back around. She knew that she should just keep going; that she should ignore her, ignore all of the Slytherins. But she couldn't. She wanted to know what they knew, what they thought they knew. She wanted to know what she was going to have to deal with.

"How'd you convince him that you were worthy of being touched?"

"_What_?"

"What did you do to get him to touch you? What did it take to convince him that it was worth it to sully himself with you of all people? What did you have to do to make him forget that you're a filthy little Mudblood?" Pansy asked. She had that smile again. The one filled with hated and spite.

"What…Are you talking about Professor Snape?" Hermione asked, the confusion evident in her voice. She didn't understand, the way they were talking….

"Of course I'm talking about Professor Snape." Pansy told her with a laugh, "Who else would I be talking about? Unless you're sleeping with Professor Flitwick and McGonagall too."

It was like everything stopped. She knew that Harry had stepped in front of her, that he was yelling something at the group of Slytherins and they were yelling back but she couldn't hear it. She couldn't comprehend what they were saying. She could just hear two words. _Sleeping with. _They repeated themselves over and over until they became one word, one horribly confusing offensive word.

"Bugger off!" Hermione saw Ron suddenly standing in front of her, Ginny and Neville on either side of him. She hadn't noticed them arriving. They had their wands out and trained on the group of Slytherins, who apparently didn't like the odds now that their numbers had been evened out and turned and left.

"Did they say anything?" Ron asked, turning back to her and Harry. "I mean about…"

"How could they…I wouldn't….It's not true." She said looking up at her friends frantically, "I wouldn't…I haven't…How can they think that?"

"We should talk about this somewhere else." Ginny said looking around the hallway. There were people down the hallway, coming towards the library and they probably wouldn't be the only ones. "I don't think this is a conversation anyone wants to have in front of other people."

"The Room of Requirement?" Neville suggested.

Harry nodded his head distractedly; putting a hand on Hermione's back and gently pushing her forward. She didn't say anything as they walked down the halls, but she had this helpless look on her face, as though she couldn't believe what was happening, as though after everything else this was too much for her to handle, that it had broken something inside her.

Ginny paced in front of the room, three times and the door appeared. When they went inside they found comfortable armchairs and couches and hot cocoa waiting for them. The room made Harry feel a little better somehow, the furniture reminding him of the Burrow.

"They think…How can they think that?" Hermione asked. She was curled up in one of the overstuffed armchairs and she looked too thin and too small sitting there. It hurt Harry to look at her. She looked defeated and broken and Harry didn't know anything he could do that would help her. This wasn't supposed to happen, not to her. She had just done what Dumbledore had told her to do. She always did as she was told, she always followed the rules, and this was where it got her.

"Bloody Malfoy twisted around what he heard." Ron said angrily. He was pacing around the room, rage radiating off of him. "This is all _his_ fault."

"But people actually believe him?" Hermione asked, "I mean I know before, there were the rumors with George and they weren't true but…we were dating and I…This time there's nothing to…"

"Malfoy said that he followed you last night and that you and Snape…That you weren't doing your teacher's aide duties." Neville said blushing furiously.

"He said that you've always had all the other teachers wrapped around your fingers, the highest marks in every class except potions." Ginny told her quietly, "He's saying that since you couldn't charm Snape with your perfect schoolgirl act, you found a different way to get top grades."

Hermione felt like crying and she didn't care if they saw her, didn't care what Dumbledore would say, didn't care what they would think. This was too much. It was all too much. Things were supposed to be getting better, but instead things just kept getting terribly worse. She didn't know how to handle this, what to do to stop it, to cope with it. The rumors about her and George had upset her, had made her feel like hardly anyone in the school really knew her if they thought that, but Professor Snape…Did people really think that little of her? Did they really think that she would let herself be used like that just to get a better grade?

"I don't think most people believe it," Neville told her, "It's just…It's so shocking that people can't stop talking about it."

"Anyone who knows you has to know it isn't true," Harry told her, "I mean I'm sure the Gryffindors are on your side." He looked over at the others to get there conformation, but Neville wouldn't meet his eyes and Ron and Ginny both had the same regretful expression on their face.

"They aren't on my side, are they?" Hermione asked quietly.

"Some of them are. _We_ are." Ron told her.

"It's just…Hermione he gave you house points last week, no one ever remembers him doing that before, not to a Gryffindor." Ginny said, "And last term when Malfoy grabbed you, he was the one that pulled him way. He even took points from his own house. It's…Its making some of them question, if maybe there's some truth to the rumors."

----------------------------------

Ginny and Neville didn't stay very long, they left soon after saying that they were going to go see what they could do, but Harry had a feeling that they weren't leaving because of that, or at least not only that. They were leaving because of Hermione. She had finally stopped crying, stopped trying to make sense of everything; now she was just sitting there, curled up on her chair, staring at the wall. She had an empty expression on her face, as though she wasn't sitting there at all, that she was somewhere else entirely. Harry couldn't help but wonder where she was. Was she replaying her conversation with Pansy over and over again, trying to understand it? Was she thinking about the night before, and what she could have possibly said to start this rumor? Was she thinking about the night that Dumbledore had asked her do this? Because that's what he was doing. He was trying to figure out just where everything went wrong. He was pretty sure though, that everything had begun to go wrong long before the previous day.

When Ginny had left, she warned them not to stay hidden all day that it would only make things worse if no one saw her for the rest of the day; that it would make them think that she had something to hide, to be upset about. Hermione had told her that she really didn't think that it mattered what she did, not anymore. She hadn't said anything since then. She just sat and stared.

Harry had tried to be encouraging, tried to be supportive, tried to get her to talk about something else, anything else, but nothing he tried seemed to work and Harry didn't know what else to do. So he sat on the couch next to her, Ron on her other side, not saying anything, because that was what she wanted. And he hoped that he was doing the right thing in letting her have it.

"Umm…Harry?" Ron's voice came. It seemed rather loud after the hours spent in silence.

"Yeah, Ron?" Harry asked.

"It's almost curfew." He said pointing to the clock. Harry hadn't even noticed that there was a clock in the room, and he certainly hadn't noticed so much time passing. They had missed dinner.

"Oh, yeah right." Harry said standing up, "Hermione…Hermione we should go back."

"I don't want to." Hermione said quietly.

"I know…I don't particularly want to see anyone either, Hermione." Harry told her. He stole a glance at Ron and saw his own frustration with the situation reflected in his eyes. He was going to throttle Malfoy when he got the chance. "But we have to, it's almost curfew and…and I think that Ginny was right. If no one sees you, it's just going to make things worse."

"I don't think it'll change anything." Hermione told him.

"Hermione…I know this seems bad right now, I know it _is_ bad right now, but tomorrow we'll deal with it. We'll tell them the truth and we'll find a way to fix it." Harry told her.

"The truth? You mean we'll tell them that Professor Snape is giving me secret Occlumency lessons and that's what we're _really_ doing when I go there? That I deliberately called him by his first name because I knew Malfoy was following us? That I did it because _Dumbledore_ asked me to? Yes, I'm sure they'll believe that." She said with a harsh laugh that hurt Harry's ears. She wasn't supposed to laugh like that. Not Hermione. She was supposed to be happy and her laughter was meant to reflect that. This laughter…it was bitter and resentful, nothing like it was supposed to be.

"W-we…We'll fix it, Hermione." He told her, "I don't know how yet, but we will. I mean I'm sure you have more people on your side then we realize, I mean we already know about Ginny and Neville, and I'm sure that Dean and the rest of the DA—"

"You seem to be under the false impression that just because people know me, that they like me, Harry, but that isn't true." Hermione said, her hurt eyes meeting his own. "To most of the school I'm just the know-it-all who likes to show off in classes. People came to my birthday party because they're your friends, because they were George's or Ginny's, they didn't come because of me. People come to me for homework help, not for friendship. When Professor Snape gave me house points everyone looked at me as if I didn't deserve them, now…now they're going to be looking at me so much worse."

"Hermione…"

"Don't pretend you haven't noticed, Harry. The snickering in class when I raise my hand and someone mimics it behind me, the groaning when I get _another_ question right, the comments when I was dating George about how they hoped that he'd change me, make me fun, about how they couldn't understand how he could be dating such a prude. Of course all the changed when they decided I was sleeping with him, then I was the Gryffindor whore, who'd slept with the two of you, with Viktor and half the Weasley brothers." Her voice had taken on a hysterical tone, and she was fighting back tears. "Were they my friends then Harry? Were they my friends when half of them were accusing me of sleeping with anyone who was willing and the other half was saying that I used a love potion on George, because it was the only possible way he could be interested in me."

"Hermione, I didn't know…I never heard anything like that." Harry said sending a helpless look a Ron. He looked just as shocked as he did. Harry was well aware that not everyone liked Hermione in first year, but he had thought that they had gotten over it, that they had gotten used to her. He hadn't known that…No one had ever said anything like that in front of him. He would have hexed them if they had.

"You may not have heard, Harry, but I have, every year since I got here. This time isn't going to be any different; they're not going to be on my side on this. Every O I get, every potion I make better than someone else, they're going to have this to fall back on. They're going to say that I didn't earn my grades, that I'm not the top student because I deserve it but because Snape gave it to me…And no matter what I say, what you say, or what anyone else says, it's always going to be there in the back of their minds. Malfoy will make sure of that."

Hermione stood up, wiping away the stray tears that she hadn't managed to hold back. "But let's go back to the common-room, Harry. I'm sure everyone's waiting to tell me how much they _don't_ believe the rumors."

---------------------------------

Hermione stumbled into her dorm room, sinking down on her bed as she finally let herself cry.

She had been strong in the common room; she had held her head high and done her best to ignore the whispers and the looks. She hadn't reacted to what anyone had said, she had just walked through the room and up the stairs. And it had almost killed her.

She had wanted to be wrong. She had so desperately wanted to be wrong. She had wanted to walk into the common room and have no one stare at her, to see people talking about how ridiculous the rumors were. She wanted people to be on her side, like Harry had said they might be, but they weren't. Her mom had once told her that it was the curse of being a logical person, of being intelligent; you couldn't lie to yourself. You could tell yourself that you were wrong, you could hope and pray that you were, but in the end, you still didn't believe it. She had expected it, known it was going to happen the moment she entered the room, but that didn't make it hurt less, didn't make it better.

"Hermione?"

She looked up and saw Ginny standing in the doorway, looking at her sadly. "Hi, Ginny." She said.

"I'm really sorry about downstairs, Hermione. Everyone's…Well everyone's just _wrong_. I'm sure that—"

"Ginny, I know your trying to be supportive but I already got the speech about how everything will be fine from Harry, I don't need to hear it again." Hermione said. She didn't bother to try to hide the fact that she was crying, didn't try to pretend that she was okay with everything that was happening. Hermione couldn't help but think that that was the one good thing about this mess; she didn't have to pretend that she was fine, that she was happy; she didn't have to hide anything. And that felt nice.

"Sorry." Ginny said, hesitantly sitting down on Parvarti's bed across from her. "That's probably not what I'd want to hear right now either. Lies can make you feel better if you don't know they're not true, but once you do….

"I know the common-room wasn't exactly welcoming, Hermione," Ginny told her, "But not everyone believes it. Dean's on your side, so is Luna, not that she's that big of a help in convincing people. Hannah Abbott's refusing to talk to her boyfriend because he made some comments about you."

"Justin?" Hermione asked quietly.

"Yeah."

"I used to help him with Arithmancy. I gave him a copy of my notes to help him with his OWL's. He told me they were the only reason he passed." Hermione said quietly.

"Surprisingly, Parvati's on your side too." Ginny said, trying to move on. "She got in an argument about it with Lavender at dinner, everyone heard. She said that it was a ridiculous rumor and anyone who believed it was an idiot. Which is true of course, I just never expected her to say it. She stormed out and she hasn't talked to Lavender since."

"And Lavender?"

"Hermione…" Ginny said, looking at Hermione helplessly.

"I don't particularly _want_ to know what everyone's saying, but I need to know what to expect." She said, "Don't worry about hurting my feelings, nothing you can say it going to be any worse than what I have just spent the last few hours imagining."

"Parvati yelling at Lavender hasn't really done anything to deter her," Ginny said. "If anything it's only encouraged her. She's been talking to anyone and everyone willing to listen, putting her own spin on everything. And there have been a lot of people willing to listen."

"Lavender and I have never really gotten along," Hermione said forcing a small smile for her friend, "I'm really not all that surprised."

"Cho Chang's been talking to a lot of people too," Ginny told her, "She's been telling people that she's seen Professor Snape walk you back to the common-room after curfew when she's been doing her rounds."

She probably had too; Professor Snape had walked her back a lot, when Occlumency lessons had ran too long, when Professor Lupin couldn't do it but he was conveniently there to do it for him. Hermione was sure that Cho was all too happy to share that with the rest of the student population.

"Most of the younger students really aren't _talking_ about it but they do know about it. Most of them are just terrified of Snape and are afraid of what he'd do to them if they got caught. That's actually because of Neville." Ginny said with a wry smile, "He made sure a lot of people overheard him say that he was scared about what would happen if Snape heard him talking about, even though he didn't believe it. The hall got really quiet after that."

"I guess I'll just have to stick close to Snape then," Hermione said with a forced laugh, "That way I won't be able to hear what people are saying. Of course it'll only make the rumors worse, but you know, then at least I won't have to hear what anyone's saying."

"Hermione, I know you said that you didn't want to hear…I just—I'm sorry, Hermione, I really am. You don't deserve this. Especially after everything that's happened. You shouldn't have to deal with this too." Ginny told her.

"Thanks, Gin. I…Does it make me a horrible person to think that I _don't_ deserve this?" Hermione asked. "Because I can't think of anything that I could have done make all of this happen to me. But I had to have done something, because when you follow the rules, when you do as your told, when you're a _good_ person, these things aren't supposed to happen. But they are. No matter what I do, they just keep happening."

Ginny didn't think that she was talking about the rumors anymore. That there was a lot more to it and the rumors, as bad as they were, were the least of Hermione's problems.

"And I keep trying to think positive, I keep promising myself that everything is going to get better, that everything that's happening will make me a better, stronger person. But every time I think I hit rock bottom, when I think I can't take anymore, the floor disappears and I'm left falling further down."

"Hermione…"

Tear-filled brown eyes met blue, and Ginny saw the toll that everything was taking on Hermione, saw the pain and anguish that she kept concealed and it hurt just to look at her. Ginny didn't know what to tell her, didn't know anything that she could say that would make the girl in front of her feel better. Ginny stood and in two quick strides she was sitting beside the older girl, taking her hand in her own, trying to offer her comfort her the only way she knew how.

Hermione broke down, the gentle, comforting touch too much for her to take. She began to sob harder, lowering her head down to Ginny's lap as she cried. "I'm a bad person…I'm being punished because I lied…I'm being punished..."

"Hermione, you're not a bad person, you're a very good person. And you're not being punished, I promise you're not." Ginny said stroking her hair.

"I am…I am a bad person…I have to be."

---------------------------------

Hermione hurried down the corridor towards the defense classroom; she was looking forward to the chance to get away from everyone, for something going on to not be tainted by what the other students were saying about her. Remus would be concerned, she knew he would, but he wouldn't make her talk about it, he wouldn't be whispering when she turned her back, he wouldn't be calling her names to her face. She could concentrate on dueling and sensing magic and hopefully everything else would fade into the background.

Hermione sighed in relief as she saw Remus's classroom door appear in front of her, and hurried inside. "I hope you don't mind that I'm ear—Charlie?"

Charlie looked up from the papers he was looking at and grinned at her.

"What are you doing here, Charlie?" She asked, grinning back at him. After everything that had happened, it was nice to see his happy, smiling face.

"Just stopped by to see, Remus. You know Order business." He said gesturing to the papers spread out on Remus desk.

"Right, of course," Hermione said nodding, "That makes sense."

"What about you, Hermione? What are you doing here?" Charlie asked. As she looked at him closer, she couldn't help but notice that something seemed off about him. His smile didn't reach his eyes, he didn't have the light tone in his voice he always did. She couldn't help but wonder what had had happened to change him; she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know, wasn't sure that she'd be able to take it.

"Oh you know me," Hermione said moving around Remus desk to sit her bag down. "I'm here to do whatever Remus tells me; grade essays, research, return library books. I think these teacher aide duties might just be a cover to get to use two students at the teachers' personal slaves."

"Your teacher's aide duties, right Ron told me about that." Charlie said eyeing her oddly. "Are you enjoying it?"

"Some days more than others." Hermione said with a smile, "Last week Professor McGonagall had me turning water goblets back into mice; mice that like to run away when you aren't paying attention. I wasn't very fond of that, but for the most part everything pretty good. All the teachers have been really nice, Remus especially."

"Even Professor Snape?"

Hermione looked away, unable to meet his eyes. She was sure that he hadn't heard, that he didn't know what was going on, but she didn't want to talk about Professor Snape, didn't want to hear his name connected with her own. She had been getting enough of that already.

"He's been fine," Hermione said forcing a smile at him, "I've scrubbed a few more cauldrons than I'd like, but you know its Professor Snape, I think I've gotten off rather lightly."

"Yeah, I'd say so." He moved suddenly, with sharp precise movements until he was standing right in front of her, staring down at her with questioning eyes. He was closer than Hermione would have liked, encroaching on her personal space, making her feel nervous and panicky. She felt like she wanted to run out the room, and she hated that she still felt like that, that she didn't trust anyone like she did before. She wasn't supposed to feel this way, not with someone like Charlie.

"Umm…Where's Remus?" Hermione asked looking up at him. She hoped he didn't notice the anxious edge in her voice. "He's usually here by now."

"He was. Dumbledore called him away." He took a step closer, forcing Hermione back farther, hitting the desk behind her. "Don't worry, I'll keep you company."

"Ar-are you sure he didn't say anything about me? If he's doing something with Dumbledore, maybe he needed to cancel." Hermione asked. The desk was digging into her back, and the desire to run away had grown larger. She took a deep breath and reminded herself of who it was standing in front of her. This was Charlie; sweet, goofy, can sleep through anything Charlie. She had spent a month sharing a room with him; she had known him since she was fourteen. There wasn't anything to be worried about.

"Nope, didn't say a thing." Charlie said, tucking her hair behind her ear. He let his hand linger, gently running his hand through her hair as he smiled down at her. It reminded her of Ginny and the way she had held her when she was crying, stroking her hair and whispering soothing words.

"I guess we'll just have to wait then," Hermione murmured, closing her eyes.

"Yeah, we'll wait. Together." He told her. "You know, Hermione, I…I always thought you were…such a little tease."

"What?" Hermione asked. Her head snapped up to look at him, searching his face for signs that she had heard him wrong. There were none.

"I always thought you were such a tease." He said smiling coldly at her. "Hugging everyone just a little too closely, walking around in your revealing muggle clothes, flaunting yourself around in that little swimsuit of yours, showing us all what we couldn't have.

"And now I find out that you're not a tease." Charlie said, his face coming closer. "You're the type of girl who will give it up to anyone who shows the slightest bit of interest, no matter who or _what_ they are!" He stepped forward, angrily shoving Hermione so she was sprawled across the desk. Hermione yelped in surprise, trying to get up, but Charlie was right there, pressing her back farther, trapping her there.

Hermione looked up at him with wide eyes, unable to understand what was going on. She always felt protected when she was around Charlie, like he was the older brother she never had. But the way he was looking at her now wasn't like a brother.

"I…the rumor isn't true, Charlie! I don't know what you heard, but I wouldn't do that! You have to know that." Hermione told him frantically.

"I think you did," He snarled, "I think you let him touch you, I think you let him kiss you, just like you let Lucius Malfoy."

"No, no I didn't let them do anything." She was crying now, silently pleading for him to believe her, for him to realize that she was telling the truth, for him to be on her side. But his face was so close now, and she could see nothing but hate and disgust written across it. He didn't believe her.

"I think you begged him for it, just like you begged Lucius in the woods, just like you're begging for it right now." He said lifting his arm, and backhanding her across the face.

Hermione reeled at the contact, her head connecting with the desk below her. She gingerly raised her hand to her mouth and saw that it was bleeding. He had hit her hard enough to make her bleed. He had hit her.

"You are nothing but a filthy Mudblood whore," He spat at her, "And I'm going to show you exactly what your worth."

Suddenly he was closer than before, one hand trapping her hands above her, the other all over the place; pulling at her clothes, grabbing at her as he hovered above her. Hermione let out a whimper as she felt him tear her shirt open and she looked up at him in horror, the realization of what he was about to do finally sinking in. His blue eyes looked back at her coldly.

"Don't worry." He whispered lowering his head, so his lips were barely touching hers. "It'll only hurt for a moment."

Hermione's eyes shot open and she tried to take in the room around her. She was no longer in Remus's classroom, she was in the girl's dormitory; she had never been anywhere else, she had never been there. She had never seen Charlie, he had never…

"Oh god."

Hermione fought back tears, as she looked around trying to distract herself from the memory of what had just happened. Of what she had just _dreamed_ had happened. Looking down, she saw red hair poking out from beneath the covers and scrambled out of bed. It was just a dream, he wasn't there. He couldn't be there.

Hermione collided with someone behind her and she let out a shriek of terror, whipping around just in time to see Parvati get thrown back onto her bed by an invisible force.

"Hermione, calm down it's just me." Parvati said looking up at her with wide eyes.

"I-I'm sorry, I…I'm sorry." Hermione said backing away from her. She bumped into her nightstand and let out a whimper, pushing away the memory of Charlie backing her into Remus's desk.

"Its okay I…You were having another nightmare and were just scared, I—I understand." Parvati told her quietly, standing up. She had her hands up, as though to show Hermione there wasn't any reason to be scared of her.

"Yeah, a nightmare." Hermione said looking back at her bed, Ginny was still there, sleeping peacefully and Hermione couldn't help but feel envious. She had thought, with Ginny there maybe it would help keep the nightmares at bay, or at least make it better somehow. But it hadn't made any difference. Nothing did.

"Hermione, what happened? Your tank-top's torn." Parvati said reaching out to touch the broken strap. Hermione flinched away from the girl's hand, backing farther away. She glanced down and saw that the strap had been broken, as though someone had torn it. She quickly closed her eyes as she realized that someone had.

"Hermione?"

"I-It's an old shirt; it's been ready to break for a while." Hermione told her quietly. "It must have finally happened sometime last night."

"There's a bruise, Hermione." Parvati said concern evident in her voice. Looking down Hermione could see a red mark running down her collar bone, she was sure that there were more bruises on her arms and face as well, her glamour charms keeping them hidden.

"I'm fine." Hermione said, shutting her eyes and trying to push away the image of Charlie hovering over her, of his cold hard eyes staring back at her as though she was something horrible.

"Hermione—"

"I said that I'm fine, Parvati. There's nothing for you to worry about." She told her.

"Hermione is it…This is because of the rumors, isn't it?" Parvati asked. "Hermione, you need to report this to Professor McGonagall."

"Parvati…It's nothing, really. Somebody tripped me yesterday and I ran into the wall pretty hard, that's all." Hermione lied. Parvati was just being a good person, trying to make sure that she was okay, but Hermione just wanted her to leave, wanted to be alone. She didn't know how long she was going to be able to hold herself together and she really didn't want Parvati around when she broke.

"You really should report this to Professor McGonagall, Hermione." Parvati told her.

"It's really fine; I doubt there's really anything Professor McGonagall could do." Hermione said. "I should—I should go shower. If Ginny wakes up tell her…tell her thanks and not to wait for me." She grabbed her robe off the end of her bed and hurried into the bathroom before Parvati could stop her.

-----------------------------

Harry sat across from Ginny, listening as she rambled on about what had happened in Charms class Friday, trying to distract Hermione from all the people staring and whispering around her. Harry didn't think it was working, but he didn't try to stop her. Maybe if they could pretend that everything was fine long enough, eventually they'd start to believe it as well.

He glanced beside him at Hermione, to see her nodding in agreement with something Ginny had said, but Harry could tell that she wasn't really paying attention, that she was thinking about something else. She hadn't been herself all morning and Harry wasn't sure what to do. He had hoped that since the shock had worn off, Hermione would start to get better, that she would revert back to her stubborn, pushy, normal self. The one that didn't seem to care what anyone thought of her, but she just seemed worse off than before. Like more time had only made the situation worse.

Since the attack at Christmas, Harry had noticed Hermione's ill ease around others. It was hard not to notice it. But now it was more prominent than ever. On their way down to breakfast Ginny had linked her own arm through Hermione's as she had done hundreds of times before, and Hermione had cringed at the contact, pulling as far away as she could without it being obvious. Harry had tried to brush it off as nothing, but he could tell that it wasn't. She had started flinching at unexpected movement again, her eyes darting back and forth as though she was searching for an escape, and she sat closer to him on the bench, her arm often brushing his own as if to reassure herself that he was still there. He knew that the Great Hall had to be overwhelming for her, but this wasn't like the Hermione he knew. She should be holding her head up high, she should be telling them all off, she should be angry, annoyed, pissed, not this. This wasn't like Hermione.

"I think I'm going to head back to the common room." Hermione said pushing her practically full plate away.

"Hermione, you barely ate anything." Ginny told her.

"I know, I'm just not very hungry right now." She said glancing around the room.

"Do you want someone to walk back with you?" Ron asked.

"No, I'll be fine." Hermione said.

"Hermione maybe someone should—" Harry began.

"I'll be fine," Hermione said interrupting him, "I can walk by myself…I'd rather walk by myself if you don't mind."

"We understand." Harry told her, watching her stand up from the table. The entire Great Hall seemed to get quieter as she walked towards the door and Harry wished that she had let him go with her. Everything was so hard right now; he wished that she would let him help her deal with it.

"Are you sure it's a good idea that we let her go by herself?" Ginny asked. "I mean, what if she runs into the Slytherins?"

"Hermione can take care of herself." Ron said, though he sounded rather unsure of it himself.

"I know that, I just…You guys know how hard this is on her right now and I…I'm going to tell you something that I probably shouldn't tell you." Ginny said, leaning in closer to them. "And neither of you had better tell Hermione that I told you, because I'll hex you both so badly you won't be able to leave the hospital wing for a week."

"We won't repeat it." Harry told her.

"Hermione…She thinks that this is her fault somehow." Ginny said, her voice softening. "That she did something to make this all happen."

"That's stupid." Ron said, "This is Malfoy's fault, not hers."

"I know, I told her that, but she….She thinks this is some sort of punishment. That she did something horrible and that she deserves this." Ginny told them, "I…I don't think she was just talking about _this_, I think something else is going on too."

"I know, we think something else is going on too." Harry said quietly.

"Do you know what it is?" Ginny asked. "I tried to get her to talk about it last night, but she was just so upset and when she had finally calmed down all she would say is that she wanted to go to sleep, that she wanted to wake up and it all be over. I didn't have the heart to push her. Not with everything else."

"We don't know what it is." Harry said, "We just know that something's going on."

--------------------------

After Harry and Ron had hurriedly finished their breakfasts, they left the Great Hall as quickly as they could, agreeing to spilt up to find Hermione. Ron would go to the Room of Requirement and Harry would go back to Gryffindor Tower to get the Marauder's Map in case she wasn't there. They knew that Hermione had left to be alone, but they didn't think she _should_ be alone right now.

Heading in the opposite direction as Ron, Harry hurried down the hall towards the staircase he needed to get to Gryffindor Tower. He shoved past some loitering Ravenclaws who were looking at him strangely and past a couple of third years who were too busy giggling to notice him.

"Hey Potter, where you going?" He glanced behind and saw two large seventh year Slytherin sneering at him. He turned back around, content to ignore them. If he didn't he would probably throttle them in Malfoy's place and that would only lead to more problems for all of them.

"I don't think he heard you." The other one said. Harry thought his name might be Nicholas.

"I guess I'll just have to be louder." The Slytherin said his voice raising. "Hey Potter! Looking for Granger?"

Harry didn't have to look behind him to know that the other students in the hallway had stopped to see what he would do. Anger rose to the surface, but Harry forced himself to keep walking, to ignore them. They were just stupid Slytherins trying to get a reaction out of him, he told himself, and he didn't need to say or do anything.

"I hate to break it to you Potter, but the reason you can't find your little girlfriend is probably because she's down in the dungeons, _working on her grades_." Both Slytherins chuckled loudly, grinning like they had just said something incredibly clever.

Harry turned around quickly, his wand already out. He took quick strides towards them, disarming them both before they even had the chance to do anything, and socked the guy right in the face. He felt his fist connect with his nose and heard a crunch. It was the most pleasant thing he had heard in a while.

"Mr. Potter that is quite enough!" McGonagall's shrill voice came from behind him.

"Mr. Davis please escort Mr. Bloome to the hospital wing, twenty points will be removed from Slytherin for instigating a fight."

"But—"

"I do not want to hear it Mr. Bloome. Leave now." She said, "Mr. Potter, please follow me to my office."

Harry followed McGonagall in silence. They passed a few students along the way, many of which pointed and wondered loudly about what had happened. He was sure people would be hearing a version of what happened soon, he was sure it wouldn't be the true version. He hoped he had gotten his point across though. He wasn't going to just ignore what people were saying; he was on Hermione's side and anyone who said something against her was going to have to deal with him.

McGonagall opened her office door, gesturing for him to enter before her. He took a seat in one of her uncomfortable chairs and waited for her lecture to begin. He knew he should be feeling guilty for what he had done, that he should at least try to appear apologetic, but he didn't care. That guy had deserved what he had gotten.

"Mr. Potter, I am deeply disappointed to see that you have resorted to muggle violence." Moving behind her desk, "There are quite a few spells that would have taken longer to heal and proven how unwise it is to speak of Miss Granger in such a manner."

"I…uh, what?"

"Do not be confused Potter, I do not normally condone such behavior but I do not condone what is happening to Miss Granger either." She said, her frown growing larger. "Unfortunately my hands are tied and point loss and detention for lewd behavior can only do so much."

"So you're…okay with what just happened?" Harry asked, still trying to wrap his head around what she was saying.

"I am okay with you defending someone who is right now unable to defend themselves. No points will be taken from Gryffindor."

Leaving McGonagall's office, Harry still wasn't quite sure what was going on, but he didn't think that he had ever liked Professor McGonagall better. She certainly had surprised him a lot over the years. It seemed like every time he went to her office, things turned out differently than expected.

"Harry?" Ron's voice came from behind him. "What were you doing in there?"

"I just…McGonagall wanted to talk to me for a minute." Harry said. He would tell him the whole story later. "You have any luck finding Hermione?"

"Umm…Yeah, she was in the Room of Requirement like we thought she would be." Ron said falling in step next to Harry.

"Was she…Did she look okay?" Harry asked. "Was she crying again?"

"No…Not crying, but she…she didn't look okay, Harry. She didn't look okay at all." Ron said.

"We should go check on her then." Harry said, looking determined.

"No, she said she just wants to be alone right now."

"But—"

"She made me promise, Harry." Ron said. He was wearing a determined look of his own and Harry was pretty sure that if he tried to go find Hermione himself Ron would stop him, no matter what it took.

----------------------

By Breakfast Monday morning Hermione looked like a completely different person. She had prepared as much as possible for the day; her glamour charms in place to cover all her bruises, enough pepper-up in her system to keep her awake through classes, and a mild cheering charm to hopefully convince everyone that she was okay. She wasn't sure that it was doing its job though, because Harry and Ron never stopped looking at her worriedly.

The Great Hall was a flurry of whispers when she entered and long after she had left. She never heard her name or Professor Snape's directly, not with all the teachers present and staring sternly down at all of them, but she heard plenty of other unflattering names that she knew were referring to her. She did her best to ignore everything around her, to pretend she didn't hear but it was harder than she thought it would be. She kept feeling eyes on her, feeling the other students' disgust and it was too much like being in the woods again, too much like having Charlie hovering over her, Harry judging her. She left halfway though breakfast, disappointed in herself for letting them get to her but unable to stay any longer.

Potions class itself hadn't been horrible, as even the Slytherin were afraid of saying anything too suggestive in front of Professor Snape, but the wait for it to begin had been excruciating. Leaving breakfast so early had made her and Harry and Ron the first students to the dungeons and the other students had had a field day with it.

Transfiguration hadn't been that bad either; Professor McGonagall had been in take no prisoner mode and had had them doing so much work that the other students hadn't had time to whisper about her. Unfortunately, Professor Flitwick wasn't quite as intimidating as Professor Snape or McGonagall and he had had them reviewing for a test, giving the students the opportunity to stare and whisper around her. She had tried her best to ignore them, to block it out and focus on revision, she had even tried remembering all the uses of dragons' blood to distract herself, but it was no use. It was hard to escape your problems when they were surrounding you.

She had been greatly relieved when classes were over and she was able to escape to the library with Harry and Ron. There were still plenty of students in the library, but Madame Pince was considered almost as scary as Professor Snape, and most students were there to actually study and weren't willing to risk getting kicked out. Unfortunately she had to leave the library eventually. She had sent Ron and Harry ahead of her, planning to drop her stuff off at her dormitory so that she could go directly to Remus's class room after dinner. They had both seemed reluctant to go without her, but had left just the same.

She had thought that she would feel a little better when she was on her own, away from their worried glances and unspoken questions about how she was doing, that she would feel better walking back from Gryffindor Tower when everyone was already at dinner. Unfortunately, the empty halls of Hogwarts weren't as comforting as they used to be. It gave her to much time to think, too much time to focus on things she didn't want to be thinking about, made her think she heard things when there was nothing there for her to hear. Hogwarts used to be a lot more comforting than it was for her now.

She had already dropped her bag off and was halfway to the Great Hall when Hermione thought she heard someone walking behind her. She glanced behind her, thinking it was another late student but no one was there. She turned back around, trying to shake off the feeling of being watched.

The footsteps started again and Hermione fought the urge to look behind, wondering if she had fallen asleep again without realizing it and this was another twisted dream. The footsteps grew louder and seemingly closer and Hermione couldn't help but turn around. When she did, she almost collided with someone.

"Wow there Granger, you looked scared."

She quickly stepped back, recognizing the voice as Malfoy. "Not scared, just surprised." She told him defensively. The last thing she wanted to deal with right now was him.

"Are you sure? Cause you seem scared to me." He told her, smirking down at her.

"Yeah well, I don't really care what you think Malfoy." Hermione said turning away from him.

"So what exactly happened?" Malfoy called after her, "You were missing your precious boyfriend and Snape's helping you to forget him?"

"Sod off, Malfoy." Hermione said not looking back on him. She just wanted to get to the Great Hall and eat her dinner and then go to her training with Remus, at least there she would be able to escape it all for a little while.

"Or maybe this has been going on a lot longer." He continued louder this time, "Is this why you've always gotten the highest marks in potions class. Maybe the O's had nothing to do with your performance in class but more in his chambers."

"Please keep your ridiculous theories to yourself, Malfoy." Hermione said, trying to pick up her pace. "I'm not interested in hearing anything you have to say."

"Hey, I'm not finished talking to you." He had caught up with her, grabbing her arm and roughly turning her to face him. When she looked up in his face she didn't see satisfaction at what he had done, she didn't see the superior smirk he had worn earlier while taunting her, he just looked angry. Like she had done something terrible, something that he considered personal.

"Well, I'm finished talking to you." She said, trying to get out of his tight grasp.

"No, I don't think so." Malfoy said backing her up until she hit the wall. She tried not to flinch at the contact, tried to push away memories of her nightmares, but she knew she had been unsuccessful when he smirked down at her.

"You know, I don't get it." He told her. "When I look at you, all I see is the filthy little Mudblood that you are. So what is it that they see? What makes you so special?"

"No one thinks I'm special, Malfoy." Hermione said, unable to meet his eyes. Hovering above her, he was too much like his father. "Everyone hates me, you made sure of that."

"Not everyone, not the people that matter." He growled. "So tell me, Granger what makes you so special?"

She wanted to remark on how jealous he sounded, wanted to tell him to bugger off, she wanted to prove to him that she wasn't scared of him, that he had no control over her, but when she met his eyes with her own, her throat went dry and she couldn't say anything. Because she _was_ scared of him, she wanted nothing more than to run away from him, because no matter what she told herself she was not over what had happened that day in the forest and every time she looked at him she saw his father, she saw what had happened. He did have the power here and that scared the hell out of her because she knew he would use it.

"That's what I thought." Malfoy said smirking down at her. "You're not special Granger, your nothing but a filthy little Mudblood whore and you should remember that."

He turned away, going back the way he came and once Hermione was sure that he was gone, she slid down the wall letting her tears fall. She wasn't strong like Harry. She wasn't patient and acceptant like Remus. She wasn't able to fight through the fear like Ginny. She was nothing like them. She couldn't take the weight of what had been put on her. She couldn't handle this; she couldn't handle everything that had happened. She didn't want to be expected too. She just wanted it to be over. She just wanted to be better. She wanted someone to make it better.

She didn't go to dinner that night and she was sure Malfoy noticed.

-----------------------------

"Wand at the ready" Remus told her.

She raised her wand, in dueling position and he gave her a nod of approval. "Good. Now go. _Expelliarmus_!"

Hermione quickly cast a shield charm, taking a step back from Remus. She knew that he would never cause her any serious harm but she still hated it whenever he or anyone else raised their wand at her. She was barely able to raise her own wand to herself. "_Impedimenta!" _She shouted.

He deflected her spell and advanced on her yelling "stupefy!" Hermione dove to the side to get out of the way, landing hard on the floor.

_This all could have been avoided if you had just stayed put, like a good little girl. _

The voice echoed on her mind and Hermione's eyes snapped open trying to find where it came from. The room was darker now, she could barely see anything.

_The more you fight this, the longer it will take Miss Granger._

She hated that voice. She hated the way it said her name. She hated who it belonged to. She let out a whimper as she looked ahead. It was no longer Remus standing before her. Lucius Malfoy stood there instead, he smirked down at her, his eyes taunting her.

He twitched his wand and a spell flew at her at lightning speed. She was barely able to get her wand up to protect herself. She scrambled to her feet, trying desperately to blink him away. She could still see the defense classroom, she was aware of Remus in front of her, but she could see him. She could feel him, his hands, his lips and it was too much for her to take.

_Such a pretty little thing. _The words whispered in her ear and she fired at him, yelling 'stupefy' with all her strength. The spell went nowhere near him and he advanced on her again. He still wore that smirk of self-assurance. He still watched her with that glint in his eyes, that look of desire that made her shake in fear.

She felt his hands grab her arms, she felt him pull her closer to him and she cried out in anguish. This wasn't supposed to be happening. This wasn't supposed to be happening. His face was coming closer, his grip on her arms tightening. She let out a sob, bringing her wand up from her side. "Stupefy. Stupefy. Stupefy! _Stupefy_!" She yelled desperately. It wasn't working. He was still there. She could still feel him. Still see him.

She felt another pair of hands, this time struggling with her wand. She let out another scream of terror and struggling against him, desperately trying to keep a hold of her wand. "Stay away from me! Stay away!" She yelled.

"Hermione!"

"Stupefy." She cried desperately. It came out pitifully and her wand barely twitched in her hand before it was ripped out of her hand and thrown across the room. Arms began to wrap themselves around her and Hermione cried out again, struggling harder now.

"Hermione, Hermione calm down. It's me, Hermione. It's Remus." The voice broke through and Hermione looked up to see the familiar brown eyes of Remus Lupin staring back at her instead of the steely gray she had expected.

Another sob broke free. It wasn't real. He wasn't there. He had never been there. But he had. He was always there. She could always see him, always feel him. He haunted her, they all did. She reached her hand out hesitantly. She wanted to make sure he was real. She wanted to see it, to feel it. Her hand grazed his cheek and she let out a cry, launching herself at him. She clung to him desperately, hoping that somehow being there with him would take the pain away, make her forget.

"Hermione, it's alright. It's over. Nothing's going to hurt you; I'm the only one here." He said wrapping his arms around her. She felt him bring his hand up, cupping the back of her head. She wished desperately that it would give her a comforting feeling, that it would make her feel safe and protected but it didn't. Wrapped up in Remus's arms, she could still feel Lucius's on her.

* * *

_**A/N: **__**For anyone who thinks its uncharacteristic of Hermione to be that scared of Malfoy, I understand but please remember that she's still going through the aftermath of the attack at Christmas and all the attacks in her dreams. She hasn't been given the proper care and time to get over them and at this point the lines between Draco and Lucius are beginning to blur for her. She knows what Lucius is capable of and she's terrified that Draco is capable of the same things.**_

**_Sorry for any grammar and spelling errors. _**


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